Disclaimer – jingles bells, Stan lee smells .......u know what's supposed to go here(

I just wanna thank everyone for the nice reviews I have a very big grin on my face at the mo!

As for childrenwithblades is pietro gay???? Conclusive evidence coming up ahead!!!

***************************************************** Fight! Fight! Fight!

"Welcome Ladies, Gentlemen and X-geeks to the first ever mutant wrestling match, where we will see a vicious battle take place right before our very eyes to determine the winner of the 'I'm the Prettiest' contest. Our contestants today are two of Bayvilles vainest people; Pietro Maximoff and Jean ' this is my real nose' Grey"

"Were Lance and Kitty and we'll like, be commentating on the proceedings today! While the contestants are getting ready why don't we give you a rundown of the sitch...Lance?"

"Well Kit-Kat, our contestants today are both very similar – vain, annoying, rich, snobby...."

"HEY ALVERS THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND YOUR TALKING ABOUT!"

"Shut it SumNERS, im commentating here! And here come the players themselves ..boys and girls, place your bets on who will be the prettiest of them all!" Lance paused for a second and then turned to kitty "were living in a sick world."

"Oh yeah.."

Pietro and Jean both entered the ring to a mixture of cheers and boos. They walked to the centre of the ring and faced off.

"You're dead meat Maximoff – I've won every single beauty pageant since I was five I aint gonna lose now"

"Face it Jeanie, your-too-much-of-a-slow-mo to do me any reaaalll damage"

"Oh yea?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh yea?"

"Yeah!"

"Now kids remember this is supposed to be a constructive exercise" Hank was refereeing, something he was re-he-he-ally happy about. 'Something tells me I should have restocked my liquor stash. No good telepath stealin' it all....' "When I blow the whistle you may start. I want a good clean fight from both of you."

[Insert whistle like sound here] {A/n what???}

"Aaaaand...there off!" said Lance from his commentator seat.

"Oooh! Quick move by Jean as she flips Pietro onto the floor. She's going for the pin already! She like, must totally want this title!"

"But Pietro's up and running in a second, or millesecond? Err..whateva! Oh! That has gotta hurt. Multiple kicks up the ass by the speed deamon – Jean must be feeling humiliated by this!"

"Nyeh! Nyeh! You cant catch me – cos im a badass mo – fo!"

Pietro was creating a small whirlwind around Jean who was looking more and more pissed off.

"Oh –well if I cant catch you then I guess im gonna have to settle for SLAMMING YOUR FACE INTO THE FLOOR REPEADTLY WITH MY TELEKNIESIS!"

"Arrgh!" "Ow!" "That Hurts!" "Quit it" "You wait till I get my hands on....argh!" "Mommy"

"Oooh kids look away cos he aint pretty no more! How is the self-proclaimed 'Gods Gift to Women' * cough * homo! * cough * gonna get outta this one???"

"Hey Jean!" pietro choked out between body slams "You have..."

BAMN! {a/N again with the nifty sound effects : s}

"In your.."

BAMN!

"OW!...hair!"

"What?? Where??" Jean whipped out a mirror and started checking her perfectly done tresses for stray articles, dropping her hold on Pietro in the process.

"There's noting here Pietro!"

"There is now!" Pietro had just dashed about 10 pieces of gum, all of which were just chewed at rapid speed into Jean hair.

"ARRGH!!! I'm gonna kill you!" Jean lunged at Pietro so fast even he didn't have time to get out the way, within seconds she was grabbing his hair again and bashing his head repeatedly on the floor.

"Not..OW! this..OW! again! OW!"

"We'll their like, pulling hair out again"

"Yawn!"

"Well seeing as we like, have a few minutes, let's talk about what everyone really wants to know! Lance is Pietro really gay?"

The crowd turned and looked at their commentators with interest.

"Don't you dare Lance I swear I'll kill you!" Pietro screeched from the ring whilst smacking Jean's head on the floor.

"Well.....Let's just say that the 'Sound of Music' is his favourite film, and the porn mags Toad found under his bed didn't exactly contain nude pictures of women..."

"I KNEW IT!!" screeched Evan, who had fallen to the floor because he was laughing so hard.

"Lance you fucker you're a dead man!"

"Whats that 'Tro? I can't hear what you're saying your girly screaming is getting in the way!"

Evan was still on the floor laughing "he, he , he so that's why he liked to play dress up so much when he was little! Hahahaha1"

"I am Pietro Maximoff. NO-ONE TAKES THE PISS OUTTA ME!"

In the next second, Evan, Jean Lance and Kity all hade a huuuuuuge case if 'wedgieritus' TM

"Hahahaha..don't mess with this mo-fo cos I'll give you allll wedgies! Muahahahaha..."

"Awwww..Kitty your wearing the underwear I bought ya!"

"WHAATTT!?!?!?!" A very pissed looking Scott and Logan turned in his direction.

".....cos er...you didn't have money to buy them yourself, of course. Ah-hem"

"Nice save loverboy" Kitty giggled, "On with the commentary! It seems that dig at Pietro's ...uhm sexual orientation has totally pissed him off and now he's giving poor jean the smackdown!"

"Literally!" laughed Lance as Pietro slung Jean over his knee and proceeded to smack her ass at super speed. "OOOOOHHH! she aint gonna be able to sit comfortably for weeks!"

"Hey" it looks like some cheating is going on here as a totally pissed looking Scott has picked up a chair.."

"...and that fuzzy dude is distracting the other fuzzy dude –the referee!"

"Hey Pietro!"

"Huh?" he turned his head round, but even he wasn't fast enough to get away.

TWACK!!!

"Oooooooooooooh!" the crowd and commentators said as one.

"He he..look at all the pwetty starths" Pietro said before he fell flat on his face in the middle of the ring.

By this time Kurt had stopped distracting Beast whilst Jean pinned Pietro.

"1...2....3! Ladies and Gentlemen we have a winner..miss Jean Grey!" Hank shouted as he raised one of Jean's hands in the air while she rubbed her sore ass with the other.

"Well after like, a disgusting piece of cheating by Mr Scott 'everyone should follow rules and be home before 11" Summers, I guess Jean wins." Kitty paused for a second before she added a sarcastic "Yay!"

"Well miss priss is about to collect her award as 'The prettiest'[. I see a loonnnnnnnnng self-appreciating speech coming up here"

"Yawn!" Kitty interjected

"Now what oh what could I do to pass the next few excruciatingly boring minutes"

"Lance you wanna make out don't you?"

"Yep!"

"Okay!"

Jean meanwhile was accepting her Tiara.

"I wanna thank everyone, this is such an honour" –sob!- "I wanna thank mommy, and daddy and my surge –God! For making me so pretty......

~END~
Ah well theres the end of the fight, hope ya liked! Ciao!