Disaclaimer:  The Saiyuki boys aren't mine… I wish they were, but they aren't… Shi Mou Rou is my own character… (Oh, Yippee! :p) that's all. ^_^;

Chapter 7: Awakening

"Nothing…" Sanzo said blankly as he placed his index and middle finger on Goku's neck.

Hakkai and Gojyo kept quiet as they also stared at their lifeless companion.

"How long till we… you know…" Hakkai glanced at Sanzo.

Sanzo gave no answer.

"I know it's useless to wait too long." Sanzo said as he looked up to Hakkai, "Let's give it three days… if he doesn't regain consciousness till then…"

"We'll have to move on." Gojyo replied melancholically as he kept his gaze on Goku.

Silence reigned once more as the three contemplated on the current situation. They didn't know what to do, and no matter how much they tried to figure out how to reverse the situation, it was hopeless. There was no way that they could "magically" turn back time; they couldn't make Goku spit out whatever he drank- since it was obvious that the poison had long been absorbed. And it was unlikely that they could trust Shi Mou Rou after her last attempt to get the Sutra. Even if she was telling the truth, it would be too much of a risk. They realized that all they could do now was to watch, hope and pray.

~::Meanwhile::~

Goku felt his forehead; he was still speechless. By now he was even more confused by the turn of events.

"The device… didn't work…" He mumbled to himself.

He tried to arrange his thoughts and realizations about what had just happened. If the device didn't work, could it be that he was finally human? Was that ever possible? He knew how Hakkai turned from human to demon; but demon turning into human seemed too far-fetched.

Goku shook his head. "No, this isn't right." He thought. "If I really am human by now… The others would have probably told me about this!"

Goku paused.

"They didn't know… Or could it have been that they knew? Is this the reason… why I'm in here again?"

Goku shook his head again. By this time, he was feeling light-headed. The pain in his wrists had disappeared; his whole body was numb all over as he started to drift in his thoughts once more.

"No… that couldn't have been it…" He tried to convince himself. "If they knew all about that… then they would have acted suspicious from the start! Besides… that doesn't connect at all to my hallucinations of Hakkai and Gojyo."

Goku stood up, and although he couldn't feel his legs, he forced himself to move. He felt like he was floating, but he kept his mind focused on his every step- he didn't want to loose footing and then get up again, that would cost him more of his energy.

 He squinted as he tried to force his eyes to look through the darkness and to see the golden glimmer of his demonic device. As he took each step, his thoughts drifted further and further…

"Since it's impossible that the device lost its effect, why the heck didn't it work??? I can't possibly be human now, unless they made a conspiracy against me… Nah, that couldn't be it." Goku stopped in his tracks for a while, catching his breath, then started searching for his device again. "Could it be possible that I lost control again? It's happened before, why can't it happen again? It's possible, I mean, the reason why I'm locked up in this cave… maybe they thought it was too dangerous to hang around with me… If you ask me, Sanzo seems more dangerous… hmph." A click of metal echoed in the cave, Goku stopped in his tracks as he realized that he kicked something. Finally, he saw a glimmer of gold just a few paces ahead of him.

Goku walks towards the device, and then bent down and picked it up. He looked at it closely. He never thought it possible to be able to hold that thing in his hands and be sane at the same time. He slowly got up and then walked back to the mouth of the cave.

"Could it be possible that I lost consciousness?… that I killed Gojyo and Hak-"  Goku discontinued the phrase; the idea was too much for him. "Maybe what I saw weren't hallucinations… maybe they were haunting me." He shivered.

Finally getting to the metal gate, Goku sat down once again. He pondered all the more as he looked at the device he was holding. He passed his hands over the edges, the smooth design, and rubbed it as he studied this device for the first time.

"No… could it be that my hands… that I… could it be that I killed them? Then… Sanzo locked me up in here because of that? That seems possible but… why would I take off my device in the first place? I don't remember anything… Nothing at all…"

Goku squinted as he rubbed his device. His eyes were burning again. He wanted to feel the tears… He wanted to end the burning sensation, but then there weren't any tears left. He couldn't stop crying the moment Sanzo turned his back on him…

"You never mattered…" Goku sniffled.

 "I never thought Sanzo would ever hate me that much. I never thought he would do this to me… I thought… I thought he cared… I thought they all cared…" Goku paused a moment.

 "Could it be that Sanzo… planned this conspiracy? I mean, could it be that he held a secret that he never wanted any one of us to know? Could it be that from the start, he had his own plans about dealing with Gyu Mao? …Could it be that he killed Gojyo and Hakkai?!"

Goku hit his head with his hand. He wanted to punish himself for even thinking such a thing.

"No… Sanzo would never do that… Even though he has a scary temper and even if he always acts cold, there's still no doubt that he cares for us as much as we do for him."

Goku held the device in front of his burning eyes. He squinted.

"If this is a dream, I have to wake up soon… I have to see them all again… And as soon as I open my eyes, I'm going to get up, run to Sanzo and ask him everything- I don't care if he hits me on the head a million times!!!"

Goku felt his heart grow stronger at the thought. And he wanted to see the look on his own eyes, he wanted to see the determination in them and say to himself that he was going to get out of this situation- dream or no dream… He slowly held the device in front of his face.

Goku paused as he looked. He was startled at what he realized.

He had no reflection.

~::Meanwhile::~

Sanzo opened his eyes. He realized that he had dozed off. He uncrossed his arms and got up from the chair he had fallen asleep in. He walked towards Goku and looked down at him again. "Still nothing," Sanzo whispered to himself as he looked at the sad expression on his comrade's face. He turned around, and saw that Gojyo, Hakkai as well as Shi were not in the room. He figured that they must have woken up earlier.

He went to check around the inn just to make sure.

"Ohayo*!" he heard as he passed by the corridor. He saw Gojyo in the kitchen, along with Hakkai. Hakkai was cooking breakfast while Gojyo was just sitting; Gojyo watched Hakkai as he prepared the meal. (oh-hai-yoh *good morning)

"Where's Shi?" Sanzo asked at once, realizing that she was missing.

"Oh!" Hakkai held up the spatula he was holding, "We placed her in the big storeroom"

"The storeroom?" Sanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Actually, it was my idea. Hehe! But I thought that thing was a closet…" Gojyo answered as he grinned.

"No wonder… so cliché…" Sanzo said mockingly.

"What do you mean, "cliché"??" Gojyo asked, irritated.

"Hmph… " Sanzo looked at Hakkai, "Are you sure she wouldn't be able to escape from there?"

"No window and just one door… I doubt that she could get out easily since I locked it well. Besides, like I said, she won't be recovering until 2 days from today."

"The same day we leave…" Sanzo pondered.

The three remained silent. Acting their usual way sure helped them to try to get over yesterday's event, but there was no doubt that they felt the void of Goku's absence. They all thought the same thing Sanzo did; the sadness was revived once again.

"I'll go watch over Goku…" Sanzo said blankly; the sadness he had felt was now evident on his face.

"Yeah, you never know when that saru will get up!" Gojyo answered back slyly, trying to cheer everyone up.

"Yeah…" Hakkai nodded, smiling.

Sanzo walked back slowly to Goku's room; he passed by the door of the stockroom. It was only then that he had realized that there were three big locks newly installed… and on top of that, there was a big heap of junk that barred the door. Sanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Locked it well, huh? Hmph…" Sanzo mumbled then continued to make his way back to Goku's room.

Upon reaching the room, he suddenly felt the heaviness in the air. The sadness grew greater in his soul as he saw Goku, still in the same position as they had seen him yesterday. Sanzo stood there for a while, then walked towards the windows, and opened the curtains. Sunlight flooded into the room, and the heavy feeling had lessened. A gale blew into the room, helping lighten the melancholy mood.

Sanzo then sat down beside Goku, in lotus position. He looked at Goku and started to reminisce.

"You look like the sun!" He heard the statement echo in his mind, but he couldn't really remember when Goku really said that to him.

"Hey Sanzo!!! Sanzo I'm hungry! Sanzo, are we there yet? Can we stop at the next village? Hey hey, that dumpling's mine!!! Hey Sanzo! Sanzo!!! Sanzoooooo…." Sanzo was lost in thought, remembering every line that Goku said… All the things he said on their trip, all the lines he said that annoyed him, the lines he used to pick a fight, the lines he used to say what was on his mind... how he said Sanzo's name as he smiled gleefully…

 Sanzo just looked at his friend. He realized how much he took that time for granted.

"I never thought you would end up like this…" Sanzo contemplated. "I always thought that you were invincible… I always thought that we would get to our destination… without doubt, without problems…"

Sanzo looked up again towards the windows, seeing the cheerful sunlight flowing into the room.

"I know we'll get through this…" He said, convincing himself that Goku was listening. "You'll never be alone… no matter what…we'll never leave you." Sanzo said softly, as he slowly looked back at Goku.

~::Meanwhile::~

Goku tried to calm himself as he realized that he had no reflection. He looked at the device but all he could see was the gold. There wasn't even a blur of his image. He put the device down for a moment then he rubbed his eyes…

"Nah… it can't be… I may be demon, but I'm no vampire…" Goku said to himself, trying to cheer himself up.

Goku held the device in front of his face once more. This time, he made sure that the light flowing into the cave was also touching him and the device.

Not even a blur.

Goku's eyes widened. He put the device down, and put the rock in front of it. He at once saw the reflection. And he had no doubt by then, that his reflection's disappearance wasn't the device's fault.

"This is a dream… this is a dream… this is a dream…" He chanted. "I'm… going to wake up!!!" He shut his eyes tight.

Total silence.

Goku opened his eyes again… nothing changed. He clenched his fist despite his lack of energy. He gritted his teeth. He was determined to get out of the cave.

He stood up; he held the metal bars. He bent down, got a rock and hit the bars with all his might. The clanging of rock against metal echoed all over the cave, and resounded into the misty forest. He kept banging, until he realized that the bars didn't even have a dent on them.

"If I can't get out through the gate… then I'll just have to dig my way out!!!" Goku at once dug his nails into the rough, dry cave-floor. He dug with all the dexterity left in him, but he soon stopped as he realized that his fingers bled from cuts and that he had even barely made a hole big enough to bury his hand in. Goku sat, spreading out his legs and letting his body weight rest on his two, injured arms. He tried to think of any more ways to get out of the cave. But he knew that that wasn't his goal… his main goal was to prove that it was all a dream. He thought that he should do something that would make him wake up into reality once again and prove himself that he was right all along.

He stood up, and staggered as he held out his arm to his side, feeling the cave wall and letting it serve as his guide. He decided to venture deeper into the cave and discover how far it cave led. He felt his right pocket. He remembered that he hid Gojyo's pack of matches there the last night- a simple trick to annoy him… unfortunately, Gojyo easily went out to buy lighter fluid.

He patted his pocket, but he felt nothing. He checked is left pocket, and realized that it wasn't in there as well. He searched all the possible places it could have gone into, to no avail. Goku's eyebrows met. He knew he remembered that the matches were in his pocket. Then, he diverted his gaze as he heard a thud. He saw a pack of matches at his feet.

Goku felt uneasy. It seemed bizarre to him for this to happen. Ironically, he suddenly felt an assurance that he was right.

"This is a dream."

He picked up the packet, and then quickly lit a match. He saw that the darkness was never-ending. The match quickly burned out. He walked forward, letting his hand and the cave wall guide him once more.

"This cave was a lot bigger than I thought." Goku said to himself.

After a few paces forward, Goku lit another match. There was no sign that he was getting any closer to the cave's boundary. The match soon died out and he decided to keep on going, only lighting a match after he felt that he had already walked a far distance.

He walked until his feet started to give way again. Seeing that the he was getting nowhere near the end, he decided to rest a while. He sat down, letting his body rest upon the cave wall. He shut his eyes, trying to conserve as much energy as he could to keep on going.

Goku opened his eyes once more and looked to his left- into the darkness that he was journeying in. He then turned his gaze to the right, to see how far he had been from the entrance, to see if there was still any light visible at the cave mouth.

Goku's eyebrows met when he saw that he hadn't traveled far at all. He immediately got up. He walked towards the cave entrance, which seemed too near for the time he had spent in walking further into the cave. He counted every step he made.

In 15 paces, he was right back where he started.

"What the-?" Goku said in disbelief. He looked held the metal bars once more, and looked down and saw the small hole he had made in the ground. "How… could this happen? I've been walking-" Goku frowned, and grit his teeth once more.

"THIS IS A DREAMMMM!!!!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. "it's a dream… a stupid dream… And I'm going to end it!!!" Goku clenched his fist.

~::Meanwhile::~

Sanzo read a book as he sat beside Goku. He tried to take his mind off things, but he realized that the more he tried, the more he thought about their situation. The pages seemed like a collection of jumbled letters printed on pieces of old paper. Even though he heard the words being read in his mind, they made no sense. He couldn't absorb anything; his mind was somewhere else.

A knock on the door woke Sanzo up from his daydream

"Hey! I thought you'd like some breakfast," Gojyo said, as he walked into the room carrying a plate of Hakkai's cooking.

"Uh… Thanks…." Sanzo absent-mindedly answered.

"That's the first time I heard you say that word, hehe." Gojyo said, smiling as he gave Sanzo his plate.

"What?" Sanzo said irritably. It was obvious that he was awake now.

"N-nothing…" Gojyo said defensively.  

Sanzo laid the plate on his lap. Although he was starving, he found no interest in eating the food in front of him. Gojyo noticed the emptiness of Sanzo's eyes, and he knew that Sanzo was the one who worried the most amongst the three of them.

"You think Goku will wake up if we put a platter of dumplings in front of him?" Gojyo said, trying to cheer Sanzo up.

"I wish that could work." Sanzo said blankly.

"Or maybe we can ask Hakuryu to blow a flame onto his pants… that could wake him up." Gojyo smirked.

Sanzo stared at him coldly.

"H-hey… just trying to cheer you up…" Gojyo said, putting his hands in front of him, gesturing that Sanzo should calm down.

"What was that about Hakuryu?" Hakkai asked as he walked into the room.

"Uh, nothing…" Gojyo answered, "Just wondering where Hakuryu is."

"Oh… yeah, he's in my room, still sleeping. We're a heavy load, you know…" Hakkai said, smiling.

"How can he sleep at a time like this?" Sanzo said, somewhat irritated. "All these things happening… with Goku like this… and us…" Sanzo put the plate on the bedside table as he stood up. "Damn… how could we just be like this… just waiting for him to die… not even being able to do anything. This feels stupid!" Sanzo was enraged.

Hakkai and Gojyo kept quiet. Sanzo wasn't the only one who felt helpless at this time.

"Why do we have to pathetically wait for him to die like this?" Sanzo finally asked, his tone a little softened.

Hakkai looked up at Sanzo. He never saw Sanzo like this before; he knew, by looking at Gojyo's expression, that Gojyo thought the same thing. He felt just as disappointed at their situation- the way they couldn't help, the way they had to wait for fate to reveal itself, the way they had to see Goku like this… and then say goodbye to him if things didn't turn out as they had hoped…

"I feel helpless right now," Hakkai broke the silence, "I hate the fact that we can't do anything for Goku right now. I hate the fact that we have to see him like this… but I still believe that there is hope. I know it's frustrating to wait… to wait for fate to reveal itself. But frankly, I don't believe in fate."

Sanzo looked up at Hakkai.

"I know that Goku can do this. I don't care if Shi said it would take a miracle. Just what have we been doing this whole time? I'm sure that you, Sanzo, know better than any one of us that every step we took… that every battle we went rhough on this journey… was a step further from the boundaries of the norm. Nothing can hold us back! Just the mere fact that we all met like this, despite the sad times we went through, is already a miracle. Why should this event be any different? You know how strong Goku is."

Gojyo smirked.

"That kid may have an IQ of a monkey… but when he's put in a serious situation, he manages to handle the situation as if he knew everything all along. His spirit is stronger than anything in this world." Gojyo looked at the two, "Goku will figure this out for sure, and as soon as he does, he's going to break through as if nothing happened."

 The emptiness had disappeared; Sanzo's eyes showed confidence once again. Although Sanzo didn't smile, it was evident that his faith had returned.

Hakkai knelt down beside Goku and then fixed him up. He let Goku lie on his back, and he fixed his arms, putting them comfortable at his side. He then got the crumpled blanket at Goku's feet and tucked him in. After that, Hakkai pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket, wet it with a bit of water from Sanzo's glass, and wiped away the tear stains on Goku's cheeks.

"There." Hakkai exclaimed when he was done.

 Goku looked as if he was just asleep.

The three felt a lot better as they looked at their companion. Their hope grew even greater.

Just as Hakkai was about to stand up, he saw a crease on Goku's chest. He pulled back the blanket and suddenly saw a box of matches lying on Goku's chest.

"Wha? Those are my matches! Why that little… Where did they come from?" Gojyo said as he tried to control his temper again.

"That's funny, I didn't see them back then…" Hakkai answered.

Hakkai shrugged as the placed the blanket onto Goku's chest once again.

"Darn that little… that's the second thing he's… tch… hehe… baka saru…" Gojyo muttered.

"OH!!!" Hakkai jumped back.

"What is it?" Sanzo asked, surprised as well.

"Just now…" Hakkai started, "I thought… I thought I felt his chest move."

"WHAT?!" Gojyo exclaimed. Sanzo and Gojyo quickly knelt down beside Goku.

They thought that Hakkai's eyes had been deceived.

They looked, and they saw Goku's chest, slowly expanding and contracting. They watched in amazement as they saw Goku take in slow, tiny gasps of air. They were speechless.

"He's alive." Hakkai smiled. 

Author's note: AHHHH!!! GOKU has returned from the dead!!! Weeeee! *dances for joy as she knows that Goku lovers won't hunt her down anymore* Hehehe! I wanna thank those who reviewed the past chapter, Silver Fox Thief, Saiyuki Fan, Yoyo, Merf and especially I Love Sanzo!!! You guys really motivated me to write even more. I'm overwhelmed to know that, even though this is just my first fanfic, you guys actually liked it.

Okay, since Goku's now recuperating… you can conclude that this fic is almost over. So…  I hope you guys also liked this chapter! ^___^ I'm currently trying to study this writing book I bought, in hopes that my writing can improve even more and at least I can give a good finale for this fic. Anyhow, I'll try to update soon! Thanks lots!!! ^___^