Edited: 7/14/2011

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.


Dashed Hopes

Chapter Fourteen: Breakdown


Shortly after Kagome's fever broke—and she once again woke from a nightmare, breaking down into tears—she ordered Inuyasha from her room. She made it clear that she no longer felt comfortable with him in there. As angry as it made him to be kicked out of a room in his own house, Inuyasha was too confused and hurt by the cold way Kagome suddenly turned on him to question her decision. If she wanted him out, then he would go.

Once in the hallway, he shut the door quietly behind him, picturing her distraught expression. It was just after she gained control of her breathing and stopped crying that she started to push his arms away from her, wincing as though his touch physically hurt her, although Inuyasha knew he was being very gentle. A small part of him worried that she was afraid he might hit her.

Now, with the door between them, he studied the wood of the door, lost in the maze of grains and knots. "I'll protect you," he promised quietly.

What he didn't realize was that Kagome heard him anyway.

Instead of soothing her frayed nerves, it only made her feel worse. The idea of betraying her friends—of betraying Inuyasha—weighed heavily on her mind. She didn't want to hurt him or any of the others. Tears pricked her eyes unbidden. She was still in awe at how easily they had accepted her into their lives, and Kagome felt that she didn't deserve it.

Pulling the covers back over her, Kagome begged her body to go back to sleep. Although her eyes closed, she couldn't sleep.

Hours passed, and the house creaked around her. In the darkness, Kagome suddenly came to a realization about what she needed to do. The decision seemed so clear. Souta and Shippou didn't deserve to have their lives dragged down by her mistakes, and neither did Sango, Miroku, or Inuyasha.

Silently, Kagome slipped out of bed and walked over to her dresser drawer. She dug down to the bottom, under her clothes, and found a velvet-wrapped lump—just where she'd hidden it when she first moved into the Youkai household. The velvet felt cold and dark in her small hands as she unfolded the jewel; it was as though she held an entire world. Lifting out the pink sphere, Kagome clasped the crystal chain around her neck.

Within minutes, Kagome was dressed and out the room, leaving behind only a note.


"Kagome?" Inuyasha called gruffly as he rapped his knuckles on her bedroom door the following morning. Keeping his anger in check, he shouted a little louder, "We need to talk."

Oh, those four evil, little words.

Inuyasha sighed and rubbed the lingering tiredness out of his eyes with one hand, as he shoved the heavy wooden door open with the other.

"Kago—!"

He cut himself off sharply, his eyes growing wide. It was his next exclamation that drew the attention of every single person in the house, including some servants.

"Shit!"


On her way out the door, Kagome had grabbed a coat from the main closet in the hallway. Now, she was glad she did, because fall was very quickly turning into winter, and the wind was bitterly cold. It pushed against her, strong enough to slow her progress and make her feel even frailer than she already did. Underneath the big, heavy jacket, she wore the same green skirt and white blouse that she had the day she first arrived in Tokyo. The only difference was that the Shikon-no-Tama was looped around her throat, safely hidden under her collar, instead of buried deep in her purse.

The coat she'd taken was Inuyasha's. It was a lot bigger than she needed, and the fabric was heavy and rough, but it left her feeling warm and almost safe; it also smelled strongly of its owner—a musky masculine scent that filled her nose every time she shifted or wrapped her arms tighter around herself.

She'd taken off on foot at four in the morning from the Youkai household; although her feet already ached, Kagome had only just now reached the outskirt of downtown Tokyo. In the distance, she could pick out the Inutaisho Company high-rise on the horizon.

Her eyes downcast, staying half-lidded and on the pavement to avoid the sting of her hair whipping around her face, she failed to notice the gaze of a nearby pedestrian. Instead, she thought about the note she had left behind.


My dear friends and family, it read.

I realized tonight that by staying near you, I am putting you all in danger.

Souta, Shippou—I love you more than I could ever express. Soon, if everything turns out like I'm hoping it will, you can go back to be with Mama and Grandfather. I hope you understand that I never wanted you to be dragged into this; I want you to stay innocent for as long as you possibly can. I'll miss you and pray that you will always stay safe.

Sango— You were my first real friend, did you know that? In high school, I had Kouga and Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi, but they never got me like you did. I already feel so close to you and find myself wishing that we had been born sisters. I would've been proud to call you family. Please donate all the clothes we bought to the Sakura Hide-Away shelter. I'll miss you, too, and every day I will be thankful for meeting you.

Miroku— You have no idea how much you helped me. My new identity allowed me to once again have a taste of a normal, successful life, even if it only lasted a couple of weeks. Stay safe; you really are a good person and deserve nothing but happiness. I'll miss you and pray that you figure out your "feelings."

"'Feelings' is in quotation marks," Inuyasha, who was reading the note allowed to everyone, explained. "I don't really get it…"

"Keep reading," Miroku, who looked a little nervous as though maybe he did 'get it,' urged his best friend.

Sesshoumaru— My dear ice prince of a boss, please thaw out a bit, please? Give Rin a hug and a kiss from her 'Aunt Kagome' for me and tell her to be a good girl.

Inuyasha—

Here, Inuyasha paused and frowned down at the many scribbles and unreadable parts that had been heavily crossed out by a pen. Finally, he found something still legible.

Inuyasha— I hope you don't miss your coat too much.

With love straight from my heart to all of yours,
Kagome

During the reading, Sango had been leaning against the wall, afraid to rely on her legs to support her weight. After Inuyasha finished reading Kagome's farewell letter, she slid down the wall to sit on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. "Why did she leave?" the brunette asked, looking around at all the others. They mirrored her expression: confused with a hint of exasperation.

Souta, who had been very quiet up until that moment, suddenly told them all, "I know." His eyes were trained on a crumpled piece of velvet lying on the floor, half hidden under the bed.

"Souta!" Shippou shouted, surprised. "No! You can't tell them. We promised Kagome that we would never tell anyone, no matter what."

The older boy glanced away, a bitter frown on his face as he remembered his promise to his sister. He wanted to keep his word, but at the same time, he trusted these people—and if it could get Kagome back…

When Souta didn't say anything, Inuyasha glanced between the two boys. "What's going on, you two? Why'd she take off like that?" Personally, he was feeling betrayed. For two weeks, he had allowed Kagome into his admittedly exclusive life. She'd been accepted at his place of work, accepted into his home, he'd comforted her and swore to protect her, and she'd taken off with nothing but a note to explain her actions.

"I promised Kagome," Souta mumbled, unsure.

"Tell us," Sesshoumaru commanded firmly. It was difficult to refuse him.

Souta chewed on his bottom lip nervously and surveyed all the faces in the room, people who had taken them in like family. He understood how hard that must have been, to care for and protect people you didn't know; Souta wasn't sure he'd have been able to do it if he was them. "Naraku… well, Shippou and I, we always sort of knew what was happening, no matter what Kagome told us," he began, making the decision to trust them with everything. "I— I should have helped her!" Stubborn tears pricked his eyes, and he looked away, ashamed. Shaking, he balled his hands into fists.

Shippou walked over to his adopted uncle and reached up to hold his hand, also looking like he might burst into tears at any moment.

"Go on," Sango prodded gently.

"Two week ago, we went to visit N-Naraku at his company," he began, his heart squeezing painfully as he let the memory for into words.

"Kagome said we were going to go to the zoo," Shippou added. He looked miserable.

Souta nodded. "Kagome told us to stay with the elevators while she went to pick him up. She… she was so cheerful, you know? Like Naraku was the best thing in the world. In her world, I guess." With a deep breath, Souta finally met Inuyasha's eyes, as if out of everyone in the room, he was the one that the little boy could trust the most to find and defend his sister. In two weeks, Souta had come to see Inuyasha as strong and successful and protective, all the things he wanted to grow up to be. All the things that Naraku wasn't. Kagome didn't realize how much the two had hung out in the last week; she'd been distracted by other things. "We don't know what happened while she was back there in Naraku's office, but we suddenly heard shouting and then… well, it sounded like gunshots. Two of them. Less than a minute later, Kagome came running out towards us, waving something in her hand."

"It was this big pink jewel," Shippou explained. Everyone looked at him, surprised. "When she picked me up, when we started running, I got a good look at it."

"We ran and hid in this old warehouse, and then Kagome brought us here, to Tokyo. She made us promise not to tell anyone anything, back before she met you guys." Souta paused, looking back down at the ground. "I think… I think Naraku stole the jewel. And I think he killed someone. It's what it took to finally knock some sense into Kagome."

Letting the words sink in, Miroku forced himself to stay calm. He was standing next to Sango, and he reached down towards her on the ground; silently, she reached back and grabbed his hand, linking her fingers with his to draw support.

Inuyasha looked grim, his mind racing. Souta's story explained why Naraku was putting so much time and effort into scaring Kagome to come back to him. It wasn't just about her; it was also about this jewel. Still, he needed Kagome to fill in the rest of the blanks for them. She was the only one who knew the whole story.

Plus, she also stole his favorite coat.

It took less than half an hour to rouse everyone into a search party. Sango called Kaede, who brought Kohaku over to watch the children. Tokyo was so large, that they split up—all except Sesshoumaru, who decided he would act as home base. Inuyasha had a sneaking suspicion that his brother just wanted an excuse to finish some paperwork.

Inuyasha took the area around his company, hoping that Kagome would stick to familiar territory. He stormed down the streets of Tokyo, glaring at everyone and grumbling under his breath, scaring several passersby. After an hour of fruitless searching, he finally tried the ice cream parlor that he'd taken Kagome and the gang to her first night in Tokyo.

He glanced around.


The bell hanging over the entrance of the door rang to signal a customer entering, but Kagome paid no attention. It was mid-morning, and business in the ice cream parlor was only just beginning to pick up. She had taken a corner booth, hoping to stay out of the way of everyone. In her hands, the Shikon jewel shined brilliant as she examined it.

Kagome was angry with herself. She'd left the Youkai household hours ago, but she still had no idea where to go. Frustrated, she looped the jewel back around her throat, feeling the slight weight as it rested against her chest.

"It looks beautiful on you," a man said, startling her.

Quickly, Kagome tucked the jewel back under her collar before glancing nervously up at person interrupting her pitiful reverie. She took her time looking at his face, worried that it might be Naraku or a policeman. Fortunately, it was just Inuyasha.

Torn between relief and nervousness, Kagome gasped, "Inuyasha?"

Looking conflicted himself, he crawled into the booth across from her. "Yeah?"

"Why did you find me?"

"Because," he muttered stubbornly after the smallest hesitation, realizing that he just wasn't good enough to put the situation into words.

Apparently accepting that as a good enough answer, Kagome nodded. Her eyes dropped back down to the table, ashamed.

"I know a little more about your past," he told her softly, leaning forward on his elbows and peering at her face, trying to meet her eyes behind the curtain her thick bangs created.

At a loss for why Inuyasha would possibly still want to be around her if he knew the trust, Kagome's face crumbled. Naturally, her tears only frustrated Inuyasha even more, and he reached out to stop her from hiding behind her hands. Quickly, he changed seats, sitting down next to her in the booth; he brought her head down onto his shoulder and then laid his cheek against her hair, wrapping an arm securely around her shoulders to bring her in tighter against him. They sat like that for several minutes until her sobs turned into sniffles.

"You cry a lot," he muttered, sounding a little resigned.

"Trust me— I'd stop if I could. It's no picnic for me either," Kagome joked weakly. She took a deep breath, and when she let it out, it tickled his neck. "Thank you," she mumbled, "For finding me. Still, I don't think you should have. It would be better for everyone if I left and took my problems with me."

"Oh, will you just shut up about that?" he snapped. Surprised and a little hurt, Kagome tried to pull away, but he just tightened his hold. "Stop talking like that. We are going to help you whether you want it or not."

"Well… Well, fine then," Kagome answered, startled. She felt exhausted; far too tired to argue with him.

"You are going to get that ridiculous idea about running away out of your head, come home with me, and explain everything to everyone. No more secrets," Inuyasha continued in a stern voice, sounding almost like Sesshoumaru. "And, most importantly, you're going to answer this question."

Kagome nodded against his shoulder, letting him know that she was listening.

"Just why the hell was my part in your goodbye letter so goddamn short?"

Kagome was startled into laughter and was finally allowed to pull away out of his hold. She wiped away the tears from her face and glanced away, blushing. "Well," she began but then paused, scrambling to find an answer; honestly, she wasn't really sure herself.

"Yeah?"

"I guess I just didn't know what to say to you," she concluded finally, shrugging helplessly. What she didn't mention was how hard it had been at the time to find the right words to say goodbye to him, almost as if she couldn't say goodbye to him. The words just wouldn't come.

Inuyasha chuckled, deciding to accept her explanation; it didn't help that he was struck by how pretty she looked, her cheeks tinted pink like that.

After a couple more minutes, Inuyasha sent a text to everyone letting them know he had tracked her down and would be bringing her home. They then spent the next several hours hanging out in the booth in the ice cream parlor, eating sundaes, and beginning to wonder why they felt so awkward and comfortable with one another.

Neither of the twenty-somethings noticed that they were being watched by a woman across the street. Kagura had been sitting on a bus bench for hours, having followed Kagome after walking past her much earlier that morning. She hadn't notified Naraku.

"Be happy Kagome that I saw you first," Kagura muttered under her breath, studying Kagome at the handsome young man through the glass. The other woman looked happy, smiling and laughing and reaching out to poke the man playfully in the chest after what appeared to be a joke. "Spend as much time with them as you can," Kagura continued, her crimson eyes narrowed. "I can only postpone the inevitable for so long."


"And that's why I left; that's the whole story," Kagome concluded, looking around at all the attentive but stunned faces surrounding her.

"Kagome," Sango whispered, her heart aching for her friend. She imagined watching two people get killed right in front of her, and even thinking about it made her feel squeamish and angry.

Inuyasha and Miroku looked more angry (at Naraku, of course) than sympathetic, while Sesshoumaru only nodded in understanding.

"Um, Miroku?" Kagome began tentatively.

"Yes, Kagome?"

"Do you have an untraceable phone or something like that?"

"I do, actually," Miroku responded, fishing out his cell phone—a satellite phone given to him by the government. "For my job."

"What is it exactly that you do?" she asked, reaching for it gratefully.

"I'm afraid that's classified," the man said cheerful at the same time Sango said, "He's the receptionist."

Kagome laughed at the incredulous expression on Miroku's face.

"I am not the receptionist!" he exclaimed defensively. Sango just rolled her eyes.

"I want to call my mother," Kagome explained as she began dialing a number that she knew by heart. "I need to tell her that I'm safe." Everyone nodded their understanding as she excused herself from the room to make the call privately.

"Mama?" Kagome asked quietly as soon as she closed the door behind her.

"Honey!" Mrs. Higurashi's normally cheerful voice was frantic with worry. "Oh, Kagome, dear, are you alright? Where are you?"

"I'm fine, Mama," Kagome assured her mother firmly; she brushed away the tears that had begun to form, tired of crying. "I'm safe. I'm with some good friends, and they're helping me take care of things. Souta and Shippou are doing just great."

"I miss you, honey," Mrs. Higurashi said quietly, sounding like she was crying.

Homesickness slammed into Kagome, constricting her heart; she could no longer hold back the tears, and they started to fall freely. "I miss you, too."

Inuyasha, who was waiting just on the other side of the door, fought back the fierce desire to join Kagome in the room and wrap her in a comforting hug. His arms actually ached with the effort to hold back. He wanted to hold onto her tight and never let go, never let anything hurt her again, and the strength of that left him breathless. The protectiveness incited in him was as strong—maybe even stronger—than he felt for Miroku or Sango or even Rin. Just when, he thought, did Kagome become such an important person in his life?

The first time he held her.

No longer able to hold back, Inuyasha walked into the room and shut the door quietly behind him. Kagome didn't even object when she felt him loop his arms around her waist, instead just settling against his chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. His heartbeat steadied her as she finished talking to her mom.

Even after she hung up, Kagome stayed there like that with him, happy for the warmth his embrace provided, finally accepting that if anyone could protect, it would be Inuyasha.


"She's safe," Mrs. Higurashi whispered as she hung up the phone. Tears slid down her cheeks, and she dabbed at them with the hem of her apron. Her doe brown eyes, just like Souta's eyes, gained strength. "She's safe."

Adopting a smile, Kagome's mother marched out of the kitchen with the intent to find her father-in-law and Kagome's friends and let them know the good news. They really needed it.

Next Chapter: Girls' Night Out