Disclaimer: (Unh… do I have to say this again???) Uh… the Saiyuki boys aren't mine. The only character I own in this story is Shi Mou Rou… I thank you. *Bows*

Chapter 8: Paradox

"He's back" Gojyo said, somewhat relieved. The three were caught in a trance as they watched their comrade take in quick gasps of air. It was a miracle.

Hakkai, as if awakened from a daydream, shook his head and then stood up. "I'll go get a hot towel," he said, as he hurriedly left the room. Sanzo, on the other hand, had seemingly heard nothing. He kept his gaze on Goku, and his eyes gave a bright shine. He was teary-eyed, but knowing Sanzo, he didn't want to show his feelings all too easily. Gojyo simply looked at Sanzo. He smiled; he could feel that Sanzo was more than ecstatic over what was happening.

Hakkai soon returned, bringing a small basin. He immediately knelt down beside Goku and applied the warm towel onto Goku's forehead. By then, Goku's breathing was still shallow, but it had become more stable. The three still remained silent as they kept watch over their friend; no word could express how relieved and overjoyed they had felt.

Sanzo then broke the silence. "He… overcame it…" He said softly.

"Yeah," Gojyo agreed.

"If this really took a miracle," Hakkai continued," I wonder how he did it…"

"That's easy…" Sanzo answered, "He was never alone…"

Hakkai and Gojyo simply gave a reassuring smile.

~:: Meanwhile::~

Goku's eyes showed pure determination; he was convinced that he had become a prisoner of a mere illusion. He tried to figure out how to reawaken himself, and bring himself back to reality- the reality that never involved being separated from his friends; the reality where he was never meant to be apart from them.

"I'm not going to give up." Goku said to himself as he looked beyond the metal gates. "This isn't real… everything is distorted… this is a dream… a stupid dream."

Goku held onto the metal gates. He could feel the strength in his heart. He felt his emotions once again. The pain was once again revived in his limbs. Though he felt the sting of the wounds on his wrists and the heavy pull of his tired legs, he took no notice of them. His will was the only thing empowering him right now. His only thought was on how to get out.

"I almost gave up… I almost let go… I wanted to die… but now that I see the truth… whoever did this to me is going to regret it…." Goku thought.

Just then, he saw something moving beyond the mist. He saw the dark shadows, despite the thickness of the mist. He squinted, trying to see what it could be that was moving towards him. Little by little, the blur of shadows took a form-- human. Goku grew alarmed. Who could possibly come to a place like this?

The figures took a more distinguishable shape. There were three of them.

Goku felt panic in his nerves. He knew that, in the state of his body, he wouldn't be able to fend off those figures if they were foes. Despite the panic, Goku clenched his fist, and held on tighter onto the metal bars, getting ready for all the possibilities.

Goku's eyes widened as he finally saw the figures stop right before him.

It was them; Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo.

Goku was dumbfounded. His jaw was ajar. It took him a few minutes before he shook his head. "This is a dream…" He thought to himself.

Goku looked up at the three with rage. Anger burned within him.

But then, Sanzo held out his hand towards Goku; Goku could only stare at it, his eyes full of wonder.

"You aren't real…" Goku said softly, turning his gaze away from Sanzo's hand. His emotion softened.

"What?" Sanzo answered back.

"… You're just a stupid version of my friend… a stupid, stupid, low-class, wanna-be!!!"

"What makes you say that?" Hakkai then answered, smiling.

Goku paused and then looked up. It was Hakkai… His kind comrade… the "illusion" he saw earlier that day.

If he wasn't convinced this was a dream, he would have been happier to see them right now.

"This is just a dream." Goku answered then diverted his gaze onto the floor once again.

"Baka Saru…" Gojyo said mockingly, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Don't call me that!!!" Goku snarled, "You have no right to call me that!!! You aren't him!!!"

"Him?" Gojyo asked.

"You're not my friend… Gojyo… you're nothing like him!" Goku answered back. He looked straight into Gojyo's eyes, and he saw that who he was talking was in so much likeness as his friend. He felt like he was lying to himself. He felt like he was telling his very own friends that they weren't real. Goku shook the thought in his mind, only convincing himself, "This is a dream…"

"How could you say that?" Hakkai asked, with a smile on his face.

"My friends would never do this to me! They wouldn't… especially him!" Goku raised his finger, and pointed violently at Sanzo, who was caught by surprise.

The three of them fixed their gaze on Sanzo. Goku's emotions were burning within him. He couldn't believe that illusion had the guts to return and show himself. "You aren't worthy of my tears…" Goku thought. "How dare you make me think that Sanzo would ever do such a thing to me!"

"Stop pointing your filthy finger at me…" Sanzo said, keeping a stern face.

"SHUT UP!!!" Goku shouted, he felt as if his heart was about to explode with anger. "You three better let me out of here or else I'll just have to make you!!!"

"He's lost it," Hakkai said calmly.

"Hey, hey… do you really think you can threaten us just like that?" Gojyo said coyly, "What makes you think you can get out of that prison?"

"I'm sorry Goku but-" Hakkai said, smiling.

"Don't call me by my name!" Goku cut him short. "You have no right…" His grip tightened.

"Well," Hakkai continued, his smile dissipating, "I'm sorry but there's no way you're getting out of there… We just came by to say goodbye."

"Don't get me wrong," Sanzo followed, "I tried to make them change their minds."

Goku grit his teeth once more. He wanted to just reach out and grab Sanzo; make him feel sorry for impersonating the real friend he knew. He wanted to just go through the bars and make them confess that they weren't real; make them feel sorry for letting him go through all that. But with the state of his body, Goku could hardly stand up; he lost so much blood and ate nothing since the start of his search.

"You… don't act as if you're him… you may look like him, and act like him… but you're nothing like my friend… my sun…" Goku locked eyes with Sanzo.

"Tch…is that's all you can do… trash talk all day?…" Sanzo answered back, giving Goku a look of disgust.

"Well, what do you expect from a monkey?" Gojyo teased.

"Very well then," Hakkai interrupted, "At least before we leave him… let's just make him realize just how delusional he's become."

"What do you mean?" Gojyo answered, "He's obviously crazy, what's the use to let him know???"

Goku paused, he was surprised by Hakkai's suggestion. This would be the only way that he could prove that they aren't real- that they were all joking him. He gave out a vague smile.

"There's no reason, really- it just makes me feel a little sorry for him… This will be at least our 'remembrance' before we go."

Gojyo gave no response. Hakkai turned his head towards Sanzo, "What do you think, Sanzo?"

Sanzo, with his arms across his chest and his eyes closed, simply answered, "Tch… Do whatever you want!!!"

"I'm glad you agree." Hakkai answered, smiling. He then diverted his gaze to Goku, but now his eyes gave off an evil shimmer, "Besides, this memory will be the only thing he'll remember from now on."

Goku was unnerved as he saw the evil intention in Hakkai's gaze; he never thought he'd see Hakkai look at him like that.

"So, it'll be like this, Goku," Hakkai started, suddenly changing his expression to a smile once more. "You'll be given a chance to ask each one of us a question. Of course, that question should be about something which you think will prove our identities. If we answer correctly, then we're off…"

"What if you don't answer it right?" Goku asked, with a sarcastic look upon his face.

Hakkai frowned for a moment, then returned the smile on his face, "Well then, if it so happens that we won't be able to answer it… then you can ask us a favor. The only thing is that you can only ask us one question, and the favor will be done as a group."

"What do you mean???" Goku asked.

"If we didn't answer the question… the favor you ask will not be done individually. If, for example, Gojyo and I don't get the answer, you only get to ask one favor instead of two; Sanzo will also do that favor with the both of us even if he answered correctly."

"No fair…" Goku thought.

"Okay!!! Let's start already! My legs are aching!!!" Gojyo whined.

Goku thought for a moment. He had no idea what he could ask. He had to ask a tricky question- one that only he and the one whom he asked knew. But at the moment, Goku could only remember one thing.

"Hakkai…" Goku started, "What was your na-?" Goku thought that if that was the real Hakkai, only he would know his former name.

"Gono...Cho Gono." Hakkai answered hastily, yet keeping his calm manner. "Is that all you can ask?" Hakkai asked, smiling.

Goku paused… then looked up, and locked eyes with Gojyo.

"What?" Gojyo asked, annoyed.

"What annoys you?...I mean, what is the one thing that ticks you off that people often take notice of?" Goku asked, keeping a stern face.

"As much as I have to say it…being called Ero Kappa*…" He answered. (*horny water monster)

Goku paused once again.

"I advise that you should be more careful with what questions you ask…" Hakkai said.

"Sanzo…" Goku began as he looked up at Sanzo.

"What?" Sanzo asked coldly, keeping his chin up.

"Where do you keep your fan?" Goku asked, with a smirk on his face.

"Under my robe…" Sanzo answered, still keeping his arms across his chest.

"Is that all?" Hakkai asked once more.

Goku bowed his head; he kept his gaze on the cave floor. He couldn't say anything.

"Heh… I guess we're off now," Gojyo answered, turning around and about to walk away.

"You all failed!" Goku suddenly cried out.

"What?" Hakkai asked in surprise, the three turned towards Goku once again.

"You all failed… You all grant me the favor… unless you want to prove all the more that you guys are not real. You guys always keep your word, don't you?"

"Heh!" Gojyo sneered, "And what excuse did you come up with now? Don't tell us all those answers were wrong..."

"In fact you did... I didn't really focus on those questions."

"What are you blabbering about?" Sanzo asked impatiently.

"First of all… Hakkai… where is Hakuryu? You never leave her behind. Plus, you didn't let me even finish my question. The real Hakkai is always polite- even to his foe."

Hakkai simply kept quiet. It was obvious on his face that he was disturbed by what Goku said.

"Next," Goku diverted his gaze towards Gojyo, "I asked you what annoys you the most, right? I really asked you what PEOPLE take notice of, something about you that usually ticks you off when they point it out… you said that it was being called ero kappa. I know that I'm the only one who calls you that… but the point is- that's not what you hate being called."

"What the heck???" Gojyo answered back, "Are you saying that I'm wrong with my own choice?"

"Nah, I'm just saying that you aren't the real Gojyo. The real Gojyo really hates it when someone mentions something about his eyes and hair… and he especially hates it when people tell him to quit smoking… which makes me wonder… where's your cigarette? The only time you don't have a cigarette in your mouth is probably when you're eating or sleeping or...hmmmm… unless you also smoke when you're being your ero self…" Goku gave Gojyo a malicious smile.

Gojyo quickly defended himself, "I have to buy a packet, you idiot!!! Don't tell me I'm wrong just because I'm not smoking right now."

"Really? The nearby town is huge, we've been here for days… how could you not buy a packet before leaving?"

Gojyo gave no response.

"Oh yeah… Gojyo… before you leave… though I doubt it now that you guys are leaving anytime soon…" Goku dug into his pocket. He pulled out the box of matches he got from Gojyo the other night; he threw it to Gojyo, who quickly caught them.

"What's with this? What do you want me to do with this pack of matches?" Gojyo naively asked.

"Oh nothing… just a box of matches… you know." Goku smiled.

"Hmmm? You're always weird…" Gojyo answered, putting the box into his pocket.

Goku smiled to himself, "he didn't even get angry at me… Does he have that bad of a memory?" He thought.

"Okay, those two, lengthy explanations were somehow convincing," Hakkai broke the brief silence, "Do you have any proof that Sanzo is wrong too? Or do you really know where he hides that fan of his?"

"Well…" Goku looked up at Sanzo, he noticed that the cold gaze had vanished; Sanzo was obviously anxious to hear what Goku had to say. "Sanzo… I really have no idea where he keeps that fan. In fact, he hits Gojyo and I so fast that I barely see when he pulls it out; and I'm always distracted so I don't notice when he puts it away again. It would be real dumb of me if I tried to find out where he hides it, right?" Goku gave them a cheerful smile, "Besides, the way Sanzo answered was a quick giveaway. Why would Sanzo tell me where he hides it? Would it even matter? Knowing Sanzo, he would have just probably kept quiet or said, 'Why would I tell you?'."

The three kept quiet. It was evident on their face that they were confused. They couldn't even keep their gaze steady. Goku felt so proud of himself, and was thinking what possible favor he could ask… "I've got them cornered," he thought, "It's so obvious that these guys are fake. All I have to do now is to think of what favor to ask... I wonder if they'll actually let me out of here..."

"We're still not convinced…" Sanzo suddenly broke out.

"WHAT?!" Goku stammered, how could they say that after his explanation? Even Hakkai would have agreed to his reasoning.

"First of all, the first question was too obvious. Hakkai answered it quickly to save time." Sanzo answered, regaining his icy aura. "Next, your question for Gojyo was an opinionated type of question. Based on the circumstances, what proof do you have that what Gojyo said is wrong? He could say absolutely anything since you just asked him what annoyed him… you asked his opinion."

Goku felt his heart beat with a revived anger. He couldn't believe how they were trying to rationalize when it was obvious that he had proven them wrong.

"And lastly, your question for me was stupid… If you didn't know the answer, how could you say that I was wrong? You based it all on how you knew me from before… but the truth is, you know nothing about me."

Sanzo and Goku locked eyes; Goku could feel his anger soaring as he saw the conceited look on Sanzo's face.

Sanzo continued, despite the tension that was building in Goku's stare, "You have no idea what I'm like right now… I told you the answer to the question simply because… like you said… 'what does it matter?'. So even if I told you, it wouldn't matter since you'll be left behind now… there's no use in me using that fan anymore. You were the only reason I was carrying it around… you and your blabbering mouth."

Goku felt torn apart. But he tried to fight the sorrow he felt. He knew that even if this person looked like the Sanzo he knew, he was just a stupid impersonation in this dream; or rather, this nightmare.

"No… I can't believe you… You're just running away… you're making excuses… you just don't want me prove that you all aren't real. Pfft… fine, then walk away. I'm convinced now anyway that you loosers are nothing more than wanna-be scumbags…"

"Now, now" Hakkai interrupted, "There's no need to be name-calling now. If you think we're rationalizing, maybe you should try thinking about Sanzo's explanation again… I doubt that you really did."

"Oh really? Then how come Gojyo doesn't even recognize the matchbox that I hid from him? You know how furious he gets when he has to go out to buy one again- it decreases his time in enjoying a good smoke…"

The two looked at Gojyo, who shook his head and answered, "How can I get angry over a box of matches???"

"Because... because that's what we do!!! We argue!!!…" Goku answered. He knew he was running out of reasons. It was impossible to tell them that they were wrong; it seemed that they tried everything to confuse Goku and prove that he knew nothing.

"Oh yeah?" Gojyo answered back, grinning, "What if I thought of it as just a waste of time? What if I just wanted to annoy you for no stupid reason??? What's your point? I agree with Sanzo... you know nothing about me."

"… You're all liars! You're nothing like them! You can walk away if you want to. Besides, I doubt that you'll let me out of here."

"Hehe, it's okay to continue dreaming…" Gojyo answered back, grinning.

"Heh… and I thought you guys would agree to fighting me one last time." Goku answered.

"In your state? I doubt it's worth even trying. "Hakkai answered back.

"I'd rather die fighting you guys than being locked up in here forever…" Goku said softly.

"Well then, you can just continue rotting in there then." Sanzo answered.

Goku didn't know what to do anymore. Those three were the only chance left that he had to wake up. If he were really to die whilst in the field of battle, he believed that he would wake up. But then, with the way things were going, it seemed that they only wanted to leave him there. He was running out of lines, and fast. He had to figure out a way to make them release him.

"Very well, we're done then…" Hakkai said cheerfully.

The three slowly turned their backs and started to walk back into the mist- away from Goku. Just when they were about to leave, Goku picked up a stone, and with all his might, he threw it at them. "Please let it hit any one of them…" Goku said to himself. He saw as the stone made it's way, heading towards Gojyo's head. But then, Goku could only watch in disbelief as the stone went right through him.

The three stopped in their tracks. They turned around and stared intently at Goku. Goku felt his heart skip a beat; the way they looked at him, made his skin crawl. Goku fought away his fear, shaking his head. He then shouted out, "You didn't even explain what happened to Hakuryu! Don't tell me you three will be walking to-" Goku cut himself short. A sudden idea came to mind. "Don't tell me you guys will be walking THAT far!" He wondered if they even knew where they were going… to Gyu Mao.

"What do you care?" Gojyo answered back, "You're not coming with us anyway.

"And what happens if Kou comes and attacks you all again? There are four of them… it'll be three against four. Hehe… I doubt you guys can hold them off."

"We're not going there anyway… the journey has been cancelled." Hakkai answered.

"What?" Goku thought to himself. "The journey can never be cancelled!"

"You guys are… not real… everything here is not real… My device didn't work… nothing is real!" Goku answered back. Everything seemed to be in a blur once more.

The three just stood there, their expressions cold and stoic. Goku could say nothing.

Goku fell onto his knees. He kept his hands on the metal bar. He gripped it with all the strength he had. He started to feel the shape embed onto his palm. "How could this happen? How could it feel this real?" Goku said to himself. Loneliness overcame him. He tried to fight back the thought- but it was true- he felt so alone. He started to grow weak once more. He started to doubt himself. "Could this all be a dream? Why does it hurt this much? Somebody... please tell me why it has to hurt this much..." Goku contemplated, feeling his eyes burn with the mix of emotions. "How do I get out of here?..." The tears that he longed for finally rolled down his cheeks; it gave him a momentary warmth.

~:: Meanwhile::~

Sanzo peered into the crimson sky. The sun was setting, and despite the care everyone gave for their friend, Goku's state hadn't changed since morning. His gasps were still weak, and his expression was still melancholy. Hakkai was in the kitchen preparing dinner, Gojyo, on the other hand, stayed with Sanzo to keep watch over Goku.

"I'm worried about Shi…" Gojyo suddenly said.

"Why?" Sanzo said apathetically.

"What if she escaped without us even knowing it? Who knows if she recovered already. We barely know her."

"Hakkai said it would take three days, right? But then again… it is possible that she's conscious now. Who cares anyway?"

"We have to make her give us the antidote… Besides, I doubt that she'd return to Kou that easily. She would most probably come after you again… But with our guards down like this…"

"We'll just have to prove it then... prove whether she's unconscious or not" Sanzo interrupted, he looked up at Gojyo for a moment.

"What?" Gojyo almost dropped the cigarette in his mouth. "You know how troublesome that girl is!"

"Yeah... I do..." Sanzo closed his eyes. "and she's the only one who knows what to do right now..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Okay Gojyo, make sure that you remove all that junk before actually unlocking everything" Hakkai smiled.

"Why do I have to do this?!" Gojyo screamed as he turned his head towards Sanzo and Hakkai, who stood a distance from him.

"We'll keep distance so in case she tries to escape or anything, we can hold her off." Hakkai answered, smiling calmly.

"Why do I have to be the one who might get hur-" Gojyo asked

Sanzo reached for his gun.

"Okay okay, I'm going now!!!" Gojyo briskly walked to the storeroom door.

"Good." Sanzo answered sternly, folding his arms across his chest.

Gojyo irritably looked back at the two who were now about 5 meters away from him. He started to remove all the junk that barricaded the storeroom door. He wiped off his sweat as he nervously unlocked the two locks. Gojyo paused a while as he held on to the last lock. He gulped. He turned the lock and slowly turned the knob.

The door squeaked eerily as Gojyo peered into the darkness. The room was almost as big as a one-person bedroom; it was pitch black and slightly stuffy. Gojyo squinted as he tried to see through the darkness. He swung the door wide open, and took a step into the room. But before he did, he turned his head towards his companions one more time.

"Darn it... I hate the dark... and I hate surprises even more," he told himself as he took one last look at Sanzo and Hakkai.

Gojyo bit on his cigarette, which gave off a soft light in the room. Gojyo's audible steps resounded in the storeroom, which made him even more nervous. Gojyo tried to fight back his nervousness by reassuring himself.

"The worst thing that could happen is that I get knocked out... and that Hakkai and Sanzo won't be able to hold Shi back... but what's the chance of that happening???"

Gojyo smirked to himself.

"Stupid." He slightly slapped his hand onto his forehead, "I forgot that I had a lighter!"

Gojyo pulled out his lighter. It took three clicks until a steady flame flashed through the dark room.

"There..." Gojyo smiled.

A loud bang suddenly grabbed Gojyo's attention. He turned his head to look for the source. He felt a sudden pang of pain in his abdomen; everything went black.

Shi Mou Rou giggled as she looked down at Gojyo. "Stupid... you think I'm that weak?" She quickly ran, seeing the door wide open. She darted through the darkness; her eyes stung as a bright light welcomed her to the entrance.

She stopped for a moment outside the storeroom door. She rubbed her eyes. As she slowly regained sight, she looked up and saw Sanzo and Hakkai, standing casually, as if waiting for her to just run away.

Shi frowned. Realizing that they were in just one side of the hallway, she quickly ran into the opposite direction of the hall- leading to an open window.

Shi smiled brightly as she was just inches away from the window sill. But just as she was about to exit, a pang of pain ran all through her upper body; she bumped violently against an unseen force, immediately sending her tumbling backward.

As soon as she came to, she saw Hakkai and Sanzo peering down on her. She quickly sat up.

"Ugh... not the barrier again..." she groaned.

Hakkai simply smiled. "You didn't think we'd go that easy on you now, did you?"

"Shi..." Sanzo interrupted. There was softness in his voice.

Shi could only stare at him, wondering what he could probably say. Hakkai was dumbfounded as he watched Sanzo. Silence reigned.

Sanzo then knelt down and, closing his eyes, bowed his head. He paused, and then looked up at Shi Mou Rou, who was obviously in shock.

"This is for Goku… we can only count on you now… I don't care what it takes…" he paused,

"Please help us."

Author's Note: Hiya!!! Sorry for the delay again (I had a ton of work to do, despite graduation practice ^_^;;) Anyhow, I'd like to thank all those who read and reviewed the last chapter, especially Sanzo Fan, Sanzo's Little Girl, I Love Sanzo, Yoyo, Merf, Koinu-chan and ethereal-tenshi... thanks sooooo much!!!! :D :D :D

Man, I had no idea that I would reach this many chapters! (Honestly, I didn't even have a plot when I was writing chapter 1) Don't worry, I have a plot for this story. I think it'll just be about two chapters until we reach the finale. And also, I've finally finished reading that book I was talking about! *does a little victory dance, Final Fantasy victory tune playing* Hopefully, I'll be able to apply all I learned from it (If I don't I'll just have to read it again and bang my head against the wall then! XD) As for the questions posted by those who reviewed the last chapter, I'll try answering them now... :D

"Will Shi Mou Rou disappear in the end or something?"

well, to be honest... I have no idea so... I dunno if I should put an end to her or something. I think that creating an original character shouldn't stick around too long, but then again, it would be nice to have her in a sequel, hehe! So... I'm not sure... It'll all depend on my "vibes" XD

"Will Goku die?"

Er... obviously he didn't but... I dunno... *feels evil glares of Goku fans again* Yeeeekkkk!!!

"How will Goku wake up?"

That's something I'm still trying to figure out, but I have an idea already... Of course it's a secret!!! :D

Ahhh... I kind of forgot what the other questions were ^_^;; (it's kind of obvious...) *feels evil glares burning her to a crisp* AHHHH!!! Anyhew, if anyone wants to ask me something, just leave a message on my weblog ... ^_____^ .... o___^ .... o____o ... O____O ... O___O;; I dunno what to say anymore... till next chapter then!!!