Chapter 9: De ja vu

Silence filled the room. All that Hakkai and Shi could do was to look at Sanzo, whom they never thought would bow to anyone.

Sanzo's kept his gaze on Shi, his face as serious as ever. She felt nervous as she looked at him, at how he bowed before her. His eyes no longer had the confidence that she at first saw. His soul-piercing gaze only showed one emotion at the moment... Sincerity.

Sanzo finally broke the silence. "I ask you... Will you help us?"

Shi, with eyes wide-open, finally shook herself into her senses and realized how long she had actually been staring at him like that; she felt somewhat ashamed to have been caught off-guard. She tried her best once more to show an air of confidence.

She smiled. "Why are you bowing down? I thought you never did that..."

"I don't." Sanzo replied confidently, "This is for Goku."

Hakkai smiled, and added, "There's no place for pride when it comes to caring for someone."

"So..." Shi said softly, diverting her gaze to the floor.

Thump, thump, thump... "Agh!!! Darn that woman..." Gojyo yelled, followed by swearing.

The three turned their heads towards the stockroom door.

"Hehe, I knew I was going to get hurt or something!" Gojyo exclaimed, menacingly looking at his two friends. He continued to walk towards them, holding his injured abdomen as he did.

"You came just in time, Gojyo." Hakkai smiled. "We were just about to hear Shi's decision..."

"Decision?" Gojyo asked, surprised. "Wait... wait a minute." Gojyo finally took notice of Sanzo and saw that he had been kneeling. "Wait... don't tell me that Sanzo actually ASKED for her help..." Gojyo pointed at Sanzo, who frowned.

"Hai.*" Hakkai nodded. (*yes)

"Wow..." Gojyo uttered, his smile slowly growing wider. He then took out a cigarette, placed it casually in his mouth and lighted it.

"You... why..." Shi Mou Rou's voice trembled. Hakkai and Gojyo looked at her with concern. Sanzo, on the other hand, simply kept a stern face.

"Tell me why..." Shi's voice trailed off. She started to sob, but she tried to fight the tears back.

"Why what?" Sanzo coldly asked.

"Why do you keep on trying? What makes you think that you can save your friend? I know you three have lost hope... but why won't you just accept it that he really is gone?! Why won't you just go on?!? There's no point in this!"

The three kept silent.

"Even if I do help you. There is a small chance that he'll make it. It's been two days since he lost consciousness... why won't you just accept his death?"

"Who said he's dead?" Sanzo confidently answered.

"What?" Shi Mou Rou looked up, teary-eyed. She looked into Sanzo's eyes once more, and saw the glimmer of hope; he was convinced that Goku was still with them.

Shi Mou Rou shook her head to stop herself from drowning in Sanzo's gaze. "Why are you all clinging onto this pointless hope?! The most logical thing to do was to go on with your journey. Goku isn't your main goal... It's Gyu Mao! Any true group would stick to their objective... Your jeopardizing your own mission because of one member?! I don't understand... I don't understand you people..." Shi Mou Rou bowed her head.

Hakkai stepped forward. He placed his hand on Shi's shoulder, and smiled softly. Shi quickly looked up, realizing that she had fallen for a trick- there was no barrier. She saw Hakkai's soft smile and his emerald-green eyes; She actually felt at peace just by looking at him, despite the realization that she had been free all this time.

"Why... you... why didn't you cast your barrier?" Shi Mou Rou asked, still looking up at Hakkai like a child. She tried to hold back the fiery emotion that was starting to overwhelm her.

"When one decides..." Hakkai replied softly, "there must be no threat, no fear... Sanzo asked for your decision. If you don't want to help... then I guess that's out of our hands. We know it'll be useless. If you don't want to do it, there's no guarantee that the antidote would turn out right, since your heart never wanted it."

"But... why..." Shi mumbled.

"The mind," Hakkai replied, taking his hand off Shi's shoulder and then pointed to his head, "The mind is something that gives us all the answers... It is an indispensable part of the human body. Without it, we can't make decisions, we can't think logically, and most of all, we won't know what reality is..."

Shi nodded. She understood completely.

"But..." Hakkai continued, now placing his hand on his chest, "There are some things that even the mind will never be able to understand... some things that the mind will never be able to explain... and that's why there's the heart. The heart sees all... It sees through the impossible, and it tells the mind that though it doesn't believe in it, there is still that hope. You see Shi, you'll never be able to know the answer to your question unless you ask yourself... ask your heart."

Shi was teary-eyed, but still would not succumb. She didn't want to show that she was weak, though Sanzo and the others already knew that she was on the verge of crying her heart out.

"Tch," Gojyo interrupted, "Cheesy as always, Hakkai... heheh"

Hakkai lightly scratched his head, "Haha, well, well... it seems that this situation really is getting the better of me..."

"You guys..." Shi interrupted, then looked the three, "does that mean that you would... actually... trust me?"

"That's all that we can do now..." Gojyo answered as he looked at Shi as well.

Shi bowed her head once more.

"Trust me..." She said softly.

"...I'll help you." Shi looked up, and gave out a smile of full determination, "Besides, I'd want to face you guys again... But next time we do, it will be a fair fight!!!"

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Goku held onto the rusty bars of his prison. He longed for nothing more than to awaken from the nightmare he was living. Although he knew that it was all a dream, he still couldn't understand why he still didn't wake up after all the pain he experienced.

He looked at his ragged clothes, his bruised arms, and his bloody hands. The scent of blood was still strong. He could feel the humidity of the cave, see the mist beyond, and smell the scent of the earth; he was starting to feel that it was all a reality.

Goku winced as he felt the pain revived on his wounded wrists. He felt his stomach as it grumbled, complaining that it needed food- at once. Goku couldn't take it anymore. He was starting to long for death- to end it all.

"If this is reality... and if they really did leave me here... then what good is there left?" He contemplated.

Goku looked up, and realized that the three figures whom he thought of as impersonators were now completely gone.

"They really left me... They didn't even want to just kill me... they wanted me to suffer... all over again..." Goku's voice started to grow weak. Even his mumbling was becoming inaudible for him.

"I will... end this dream..." He mumbled, "I will end this dream... and if it is a reality, then so be it..."

Goku looked around, he saw the large rock in the corner of the cave. He stood up, using the cave bars for support. He slowly walked towards the big mass of hardened soil.

He sat down beside it. Then looked at it intently. He placed his hands on it, then with all his might, tried to lift it... to no avail.

"I don't have any more energy... I can barely move..."

He drowned in his thoughts. Images started flashing. He saw the way he was before Sanzo came. He saw the dry earth, the blinding sunlight and the darkness that gave him comfort. He then saw Sanzo, looking down on him. He envisioned Gojyo as he walked beside him, his hair cut short. He remembered Hakkai, his left eye bloodied, and his hand upon it.

Sadness overwhelmed Goku.

Goku continued to watch the images in his thoughts, momentarily forgetting the situation he was in. He recalled as he played in the Temple's trees, the other monks shouting at him. Sanzo always managed to scold him no matter what he did, and he always received a whack from the fan because of it. But nevertheless, Sanzo always defended him every time that he could. And even if Sanzo almost lost his life because of Goku's carelessness, he still managed to forgive him. His friend was definitely like the sun, always guiding him and giving him a reason to be happy despite the irony of his coldness.

Goku gave off a soft smile.

Goku then reminisced the first time they had met Hakkai. He was a man with the most beautiful eyes. The green sheen of his eyes always showed a kindness that no one could ever compare to. But he was also cruel... so cruel that he injured one of his eyes... and if he hadn't stopped him...

Goku shook his head, then continued to reminisce.

He saw Hakkai, preparing a meal on those special occasions- when there was no village in sight. He remembered the smile that never seemed to disappear on Hakkai's face. Hakkai never did frown at him... never...

Goku continued to daydream, feeling the warmth in his soul as he continued.

He continued to remember, and now, the time when they first met Gojyo. He had long, blood red hair. And his eyes match the red color. You feel like you were drowning in blood just by looking at it. There he was, standing in front of Sanzo, as he asked Gojyo for the whereabouts of a supposed criminal. Of course, he calmly lied to them. But after Sanzo's persistent questioning, Gojyo would not allow him to go any further. They even fought. But it seemed so strange...the realization that Gojyo never seems to worry.

Goku contemplated for a moment.

"When was the last time Gojyo panicked? ...ah... the time when Hakkai drove straight towards a cliff- but that doesn't count..." His smile grew.

Gojyo always had that cigarette. It was probably his secret; his stress-release. Although Goku didn't really like that strong smell, he really couldn't do anything about it... Gojyo hates it when people tell him not to smoke. Goku continued to envision those fights they had almost every time they ate in a restaurant. He really hated it when Gojyo won. But he had to admit, it was fun.

Goku closed his eyes, wishing so much to fall asleep. He preferred to die in his sleep, living in the daydreams he was having, rather than to see himself all alone in the darkness. He hummed to himself, hoping that he would finally doze off...

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Shi Mou Rou looked at Goku, who was taking in deeper breaths by then. She gave off a smile. She looked up, and saw the concern in the eyes of Sanzo, Gojyo and Hakkai. And at that sight, she was believed one thing..

"I'm their hope..." She thought to herself.

She kept the stern look on her face, "It's incredible that he recovered like this. The potion's never failed before. But still..."

"But still?" Hakkai asked.

"It's no assurance that he has completely gotten over the effects of the poison. If he continues to dream... he could do anything- even kill himself. If it goes that far, it may have a similar effect in reality."

"Why would he kill himself?" Sanzo asked, with a hint of concern in his tone.

"Well..." Shi replied, "This potion, as I said, gives one's dreams that seem so real that it's as if it's reality. It distorts the victims perception; he can't tell anymore what's real and what isn't. It cripples the victim emotionally, and so... you know how people act when they're really depressed."

None of them answered.

"Some people would try to avoid whatever caused the depression... they look for a release in order to forget. But what happens when you can't forget? What happens when you can't release that sadness?... you become it's prisoner. And some people, sadly, think they can end it through death..." Shi answered with concern.

"Oh..." Hakkai managed to reply.

"So if Goku hurts himself?" Sanzo asked.

"It's possible that his mind still thinks that it's reality... if that happens... then it affects his body."

"No..." Sanzo muttered.

Hakkai suddenly gasped. They all turned to what Hakkai stared at.

Blood was all over the blanket.

Hakkai quickly removed the blankets, and saw the deep cuts on Goku's wrists. The three looked in horror as blood continuously flowed out of the wounds.

Hakkai quickly held up his hand, and released healing chi. A glow of green light shone on the wounds. The blood flow lessened, and slowly came to a stop.

"Why..." Hakkai asked, his eyes wide in wonder, "Why won't the wounds fully heal?"

"What do you mean?" Gojyo asked, starting to feel nervous as well, "You've closed the wounds."

"I'm... I'm using more than enough chi... his cuts should be fully healed... not a scratch should be left!"

They all looked once more at Goku's wrists. They all were surprised to see that Hakkai was right; The wounds were barely healed. The blood flow stopped, but it seemed that it would continue if Hakkai stopped using his chi.

"Ugh!" Hakkai exclaimed as he let out the last ounce of chi he could muster. He was completely powerless now.

"It's happening..." Shi suddenly said, "He's losing his faith..."

Sanzo clenched his fist, and looked at Shi.

"You must remember... What was the antidote?!" He screamed.

Shi paused for a moment, sadness evident in her eyes.

"No..." Hakkai answered, as he felt dizzy from the loss of power, "that story you told was true?"

Shi nodded.

Silence.

Sanzo paused, then answered, "How much blood do you need?"

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Goku gasped. He opened his eyes, only to see the vast darkness once more. He closed his eyes again, only to realize that he couldn't fall asleep.

"Why won't you let me rest?" He cried out, feeling the heaviness in his lungs and the pain in his throat. He got up once more, walking like a drunkard. He felt the heaviness in his limbs- they seemed to grow heavier each time. He sat down once more beside the big rock, where he managed to break his shackles.

He saw the rusty shards of metal as it reflected the light. He saw the blood on the big stone, the blood on the bits of metal, the chain... he frowned as he could still smell it. He then moved towards the rock, resting his back on it; it gave him a bit of comfort.

He was lost in his thoughts once more as he tried to understand what happened. How many days had it been since he was locked in there? How far could Sanzo be by now? How long would be locked up until someone came to free him once more? He shook his head slowly.

"There's only one Sanzo..."

He tried to find a reason with why he couldn't find the end of the cave, why he barely walked far from the entrance when in fact he had been walking for hours. Why did the matches suddenly appear at his feet? Why did his device lose its power? Why did those people look exactly like his friends? What were those 'hallucinations' he saw before? So many questions... why wasn't he satisfied with his answer?

"Because it's all a dream...?"

Goku stared blankly at through the mist the choked the sunlight. He didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't know how to free himself. He had no other choice...

Goku slowly turned his head towards the bloody metal shards.

"No..." he muttered.

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"Sanzo..." Gojyo said sympathetically. "You don't have to do this...why you?"

"I'm the only one who could hold Goku back when he loses himself... doesn't that mean something?" Sanzo coldly answered.

"But what happens to the journey? Without you..." Shi asked with great concern.

"Who cares?!" Sanzo snapped, "Let those stupid --- let them find someone else! They had enough nerve to call me out of the blue like that and join up with these guys. They well knew that if anything would happened to any one of them, it would be my responsibility!"

Hakkai tried to smile.

"If Goku's gone, do you think that it would be the same?" Sanzo continued. "I don't care if it takes my own self... I lost someone dear to me before... I wasn't there to..." his voice trailed off, "and now that Goku's like this... what do you expect me to do? Just watch? If the journey ends here... then it ends here!"

"Sanzo..." Hakkai said, unable to smile.

"If that's how you feel then..." Gojyo sadly answered.

Shi tried to show that she was confident, that she was strong... she hid her emotions, as if nothing was happening. But she knew how sad she felt to see them. They proved that they had a bond that was greater than friendship; they cared for each other more than themselves... and that was something she never experienced. She never had a friend... She felt a tinge of jealousy.

"Okay then..." She said sternly, "Let's start."

"What do you need?" Hakkai asked.

"I have the materials right here." she pulled out a few bottles from a pouch on her side. "All I need are a few basic materials... water, oil... and the most important ingredient..."

"Okay then, I'll go get the two." Hakkai answered, then got up and left the room.

"So, how much blood do you need from me?" Sanzo asked impatiently.

"I don't know yet... we'll only know according to how Goku would react."

"How do you plan to extract it?"

"We don't have to..."

"...?"

"You'll give it directly..."

"You mean, cut his wrists and just let it drip or something?" Gojyo asked with a smirk.

"Yeah..." Shi answered with a serious look on her face.

Gojyo's cigarette almost fell from his mouth.

"Here's the two ingredients!" Hakkai triumphantly said as he entered the room with two bottles in hand, and with a bowl as well.

"That was fast." Gojyo answered.

Hakkai quickly knelt down and laid the materials before Shi. Shi immediately started to open her vials, one by one, and add a definite amount of each liquid.

Sanzo only continued to look at Goku. He thought deeply at how this moment could be the last time that he would see Goku's face. It seemed like a disappointment that on this final sight, Goku had to look so melancholy. Sanzo contemplated on what was going to happen. He longed for nothing more than everything being back to normal; Goku recovering and being back to how he was supposed to be- the cheerful monkey who never seemed to lose his energy.

Goku started to whimper all of a sudden. He choked in between his gasps for air.

Sanzo froze in surprise. Even Hakkai, Gojyo and Shi stopped a moment to watch what was happening.

"He's fighting it..." Shi mumbled, then continued creating the concoction with determination.

Sanzo could only watch as streams of tears flowed down from Goku's cheeks. Goku was silent, but he couldn't avoid whimpering a few times.

"Hurry up with the antidote!" Sanzo demanded. He didn't know what to do anymore, he didn't want to see Goku like that. He wanted to end all the pain...

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Goku sobbed. He thought that, like before, no tears were left, but it appeared that he was wrong. He felt a relief in crying. There was nothing else that he could do anymore. He continued to stare at the bloody metal shards.

He whimpered. He tried to think whether what he was planning to do would do him any good, if it would end the dream. But he couldn't even think straight at the moment.

He continued to cry, and tried to talk while he did. "S-sanzo... Hak-kai... G-gojyo... I am so sorry... I just want to... I want to wake up!" He muttered in between the sobs. "If this is reality...if you're all gone... then what's the use of staying here? Am I going to just wait here and rot? I'd rather... I'd rather try this than regret being here for another hundred years... without you..."

Goku creeped slowly towards the metal shards. He ran his fingers over them, seeing which one was the biggest. He finally decided on one big piece, which was exceptionally sharp.

He shook as he held it in his blood-stained hands. He saw the rust and the sharp point. He cringed at the thought.

He shook as he placed his hand, holding the shard, on his stomach. He tightly shut his eyes, not wanting to see what he was about to do. He felt as if something was holding him back. His thoughts raced, and he saw everyone flash before his eyes one more time... he pushed the shard back... paused... then pulled it towards him with all his might

His thoughts ended as he opened his eyes in surprise. He heard a voice:

"You're never alone."

STAB!!!

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"There." Shi said, as she poured the concoction into Goku's mouth. Goku swallowed with no resistance at all.

"Okay, Sanzo..." Shi looked up at him.

Sanzo moved nearer to Goku. He looked at the sharp blade he held in his hand. He closed his eyes.

The felt the sting after the cold metal ran over his wrist.

He opened his eyes once more. He opened Goku's mouth, letting all the blood drip from the wound.

They all watched sadly as they knew what was going to happen to Sanzo.

Sanzo was starting to feel dizzy. He was losing a lot of blood in such a short time. And still, there was no response from Goku. He looked towards his companions, who seemed to be just a hazy figure by now. But Sanzo did not want to give in. He looked back at Goku, whose hazy features seemed to be clearer.

"I guess my job is done here." He vaguely heard Shi say.

A sudden thud surprised Sanzo, but he winced as he turned his head in haste. His dizziness made him weak. He closed his eyes as he heard another thud. He opened his eyes, realizing that he had rested his head on Goku's chest, but still managed to keep his wrist on Goku's mouth. He saw the two figures, inanimate on the floor. Things were growing darker.

"Ch... D-dam..." Sanzo cursed, realizing that Shi had probably knocked the two unconscious. But Sanzo didn't care about her anymore. As his vision grew darker, he turned his head toward's Goku's face, still resting his head on Goku's chest. He gathered all the strength he had left.

"You"re never alone..."

Everything went black.

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Goku opened his eyes. The sunlight made him blink. All he could see was white.

"Am I..." He thought to himself.

His eyes started to clear, and he still remained motionless as he started to distinguish the white-colored ceiling above him. He also started to feel a small sting of pain in his wrists. And he finally started to feel a heaviness above his chest.

His heart skipped a beat as he saw Sanzo, as if he was sleeping, his bloodied wrist resting on Goku's chest. He looked in horror and disbelief.

"It was a dream?" Goku mumbled.

Goku raised his arm, and brought his hand to his mouth and felt a sticky matter. He raised his hand in front of him, his eyes wide in shock as he saw a very familiar liquid-- blood.

Goku realized that he felt stronger than he did last that he had remembered. He got up, wanting to find out what happened. He saw Hakkai and Gojyo on the floor, unconscious as well.

"What... no..." Goku stuttered.

Gojyo groaned, slowly moving. Goku froze in surprise. He saw as Gojyo slowly opened his eyes. Gojyo sat up slowly, wincing as he rubbed his head. Gojyo suddenly froze as he looked towards Goku.

"G-Goku!!!" He screamed.

Goku smiled, but then something suddenly overcame him. He felt light-headed. Everything went black as he felt himself falling, until he heard a thud- his head hit the floor. All he could hear in the darkness was Gojyo screaming his name and, until he heard and felt nothing.

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The sweet chirping of birds, the sweet smell of flowers. Goku opened his eyes, once again seeing that he was finally awake. He looked to his side and saw a vase full of flowers. The place felt all very familiar. Goku realized that it was his room.

He slowly got up, feeling a lot better. He looked at the windows, with white curtains that danced in every gush of wind. He saw the sunlight, and it felt wonderful.

"Was it all a dream?" Goku thought. He paused then got up, and ran towards the kitchen.

"Hak-" Goku called, but ended as he saw that no one was there.

"No way..." He muttered to himself.

"What's wrong Goku?"

He turned around, and saw the familiar face he had longed to see. His eyes grew in wonder and in joy. Goku jumped and held Hakkai with all his might.

"Oh!" Hakkai coughed, "So it seems that you have fully recovered!"

"Hey, what's all the noise about?" Gojyo walked into the kitchen.

"GOJYO!!!" Goku screamed, running towards him and holding him with all his might.

Goku turned, not knowing who to face first. He was dancing, when he was just supposed to be standing. He couldn't explain the joy he was feeling at the moment, as he looked at his two friends, who were smiling back at him- as they always did.

Goku suddenly stopped as he realized something.

"Where's Sanzo?"

Hakkai and Gojyo's smile suddenly deteriorated.

"Where is he?" Goku asked once more, his face more serious. He felt nervous just looking at Hakkai and Gojyo's reactions.

"He's..." Hakkai tried to explain, "He's... in his room. Maybe you should go see him."

Goku quickly turned to leave; Hakkai quickly added, "Don't worry Goku, he's going to be alright!" He smiled softly.

Goku's heart raced as he ran towards Sanzo's room. He didn't care about anything anymore, he didn't notice anything that got in his way. All that was in his mind was to see that Sanzo was alright.

Upon finally reaching the door, Goku paused. He placed his hand on the knob, slowly turned it and peeked inside. He saw Sanzo sleeping, his injured hand covered in bandages.

He felt sadness as he entered, and sat beside his friend. He knew Sanzo must have done something once more to bring him back. The reason why Sanzo was injured and on his chest when he opened his eyes... his wrist full of blood... That blood on his face wasn't his own- it was Sanzo's.

Goku felt his eyes sting once more. He was growing tired of crying, but he couldn't help but feel melancholy upon knowing that Sanzo was hurt once again- because of him.

"Sanzo..." Goku sniffed, "You always act cold and hit me on the head and all but... why are you always the one who gets hurt?" Goku paused.

"I know Hakkai and Gojyo also care... we all care about each other. But why do you... always get yourself hurt just because of me? Why?"

Goku kept his head bowed down.

"Why should I always get you into trouble?" Goku started to feel the tears roll down his cheeks.

"Baka saru." A soft, stern voice interrupted.

Goku looked up, and saw Sanzo, his eyes still closed, but his mouth left open. Goku leaned closer.

"S-Sanzo?" he blinked.

Sanzo slowly opened his eyes.

"Why are you crying again?" He softly said.

Goku paused a moment, "S-sanzooo!" he said once more, whimpering as he did. He felt the tears flowing even stronger. He tried hard to stop it but...

Sanzo's eyes were barely open. But it was enough to see Goku right in front of him.

"Sanzo..." Goku whimpered. "I... I'm so... I'm so... sor-"

"Tch..." Sanzo interrupted. Goku paused, feeling fear.

"Baka Saru... go get me a beer." Sanzo gave off a vague smile.

Goku's eyes brightened, he smiled from ear to ear. He was overwhelmed to know that Sanzo was back. And what's better- he smiled at him.

"Mmm!!!" Goku nodded, sniffed, then jumped and rushed out of the room.

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::Epilogue::

"You weren't able to get the Sutra?" Kougaiji's voice was as cold as ever.

"Sanzo's team proved to be stronger than I had ever expected. The potion I used upon them proved to be useles..." Shi Mou Rou answered, her eyes showing disappointment.

"I know they're strong... but I was hoping you wouldn't fail me like the others." Kougaiji answered.

"I'm sorry, Kougaiji-sama." Shi bowed her head. "But don't worry..."

Kou suddenly turned towards her, hearing her tone of determination.

"I won't disappoint you... I don't give up that easily." She answered, grinning.

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The night sky was a dark blue that overflowed with bright white dots. The moon was beautiful, like a pearl that glowed a blinding white. Silence was overwhelming, everything was peaceful.

Hakkai drove slowly, partly thankful that the terrain was not that rough and didn't ruin such a beautiful drive. He sighed, glancing at the wondrous sky.

"Hakkai." Sanzo muttered. He was seated just beside Hakkai, as always, with his arms crossed.

"I know it looks nice... but keep your eyes on the road." He continued.

"OH! hahaha." Hakkai chuckled.

Gojyo couldn't help but look at the sky as well. He dug into his pockets, suddenly remembering the piece of paper he found on Goku's table after Goku had recovered. He saw Shi Mou Rou's name, but decided not to read it- he might just tear it apart.

"Hey, I found this note from Shi." Gojyo waved the note.

"What did that woman have to say?" Sanzo answered, as if he didn't even care.

"I haven't read it yet... I'll read it out loud."

Gojyo unfolded it:

To the Saiyuki gang

Your strength has proven to me one thing- that I know barely enough about you. Looks are not everything, I guess. I thought you were all strong physically, but I guess I should have looked beyond that. Thank you, Hakkai, for letting me realize that.

The next time we meet, I assure you, I shall have learned enough. So, it would be advisable that you all would prepare yourself.

Oh, and about my farewell; don't get me wrong... I hope you don't hold it against me... We couldn't take any chances to see Goku's reaction. You could have misunderstood the signs... I hope you understand. Besides, it was a smooth way to depart!

Till the next time then- and be sure to prepare yourselves, because there shall be no handicap!!!

Shi Mou Rou

"A smooth way to depart?" Gojyo asked once more, taking a breath from his cigarette.

"So..." Hakkai replied, "The reason why she knocked us out... was to make sure that we don't interfere in the process?"

"Tch... she wanted to kill us..." Sanzo answered.

"No... maybe that isn't it," Hakkai answered, smiling. "In fact, it's like she knew all that was going to happen. If we interfered, it might have happened that the antidote wouldn't completely work. She actually saved us, in a way."

"Hmmm..." Gojyo interrupted. "I do remember that the moment I woke up, Goku had already recovered. Could it be that she even had the ability to calculate how long we'd be unconscious?"

"Haha... with powers like that, she could have just gotten the Sutra right there." Hakkai smiled.

"Women..." Sanzo sneered.

"Hehe, yeah...women." Gojyo grimaced. He moved right behind Sanzo, "Hey Sanzo, I think she really had something for you, hehe! How's that? You already have that Lilin and now--"

Sanzo held up his gun.

"Eheeee! Hey hey, just kiddin around!!!" Gojyo nervously defended himself.

Gojyo sat back once more, and took notice of Goku's loud snoring. He frowned a bit.

"Hmph... how can Goku sleep so peacefully after all that stuff about his dreams and all??? It's as if nothing even happened!"

"He's realized something." Hakkai answered, smiling.

"What is that..?" Gojyo asked, suddenly serious.

"He can sleep more soundly now. He has no worries... Because he knows now, more than ever, that he will never wake up alone."

Gojyo smiled. "Oh."

He took a breath from his cigarette, and gazed at the wondrous midnight sky.

~~END~~

Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay, folks! But at least now, it's done. Weeee! Goku didn't die after all. And it's possible that Shi could make another special guest appearance next time. XD Wow, I feel so... accomplished!!! (I dunno what word to use :p) ooops! My bad, I almost forgot...

THANK YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH to those who reviewed the last chapter, you really got me going! Especially to I Love Sanzo, who reviewed this fic from the very beginning and as well as ethereal-tenshi. You all motivate me each time I write. This is yet my first fanfic, and I was going to give up around the third chapter but, thanks to all of you, I was determined to finish it. (Though I had no idea at first how to)

I just proved something while I was writing... It's useless to write when you have no grammatical and verbal capabilities to do so, but it's even worse if you have no inspiration; inspiration is a major factor in writing (for me) and one's capability in interpreting what he feels into words is what makes him a good writer... ^_^ Ohohohoooo!!!

Oh, I'm planning to make a new fanfic... It's Gravitation this time though. Ah well! I'll think up some more stuff... hehehehe! Wish me luck! :D