Imagine all the stuff that should be here

Like Rowling really would read this, she can't soo what she doesn't know exists, *Large # of sirens, helicopters, entire British army appear

"Dose Drangonsile live here?"

"No this is the ****** (Name censored for privacy) resident" ~~~~~~~~~~ -pretty hu?

Ok so the staff wasn't really gone and here's Dumbly to explain all

"Thank you Mysterious Voice, anyway Fawks decided to sleep in the sorting hat on his burning day and the rest is like a history book, flammable. We had named Harry temporary Tyrant that no one knows is controlling them, while we got a new sorting rabid squirrel, Thank you and 59323 from Gryffindor for no apparent reason."

Gyriffindor were at (negative) -10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,00 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,00 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,0 0 0,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,048,237,723,498,275,044,322

4592374523947293446346385634875648765487645745687 days later

Dumbly, "To day the sorting will be done with the new sorting, um implement. The way it works is the squirrel chases you and which ever wall you run into first is your house, no magic can be used and you must circle the hall 376,259,789,372,534,267,373,589,736,137,698,798,749,687,546,982,574,698,547, 968,749,867,492,672,906,752,986,754,290,647,209,687,450,986,745,096,874,259, 068,754,986,745,986,754,867,498,298,672,476,582,967,456,945,764,205,679,576, 947,96...,348,573,957,345,787,667,675,768...87,687,698,457,698,476,438,769,679,0 60,597...46,747,908,647,389,674,376,987,469,847,698,45...36,847,634,586,823,746, 275,463,785

.00000000000000000000000000...000000000000000000000000001 milaseconds later everyone was back at their old houses.

Dumbly "It works, I mean I know it works 'cus it was my idea."

~~~~~~~~

In the first Care for dangerous creatures I mean care for "magical" creatures, Hagrid said

"I have brought back Skwerts, Muhahahahahahahaha...hahahaha, They are new and improved, can shot the pain curse, have twice as much fire power, all have stingers, pincers, suckers, wings, top escape ablity."

Everyone cheered, everyone being the Slytherins.

(To small to measure) later

The Skwerts escaped, Da Da daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, happy music is playing.

Person on flute says "Hey this is the wronge music sorry"

Da Da dadadadadadadadad extremely happy music.

Hagrid "Oh and the Skwerts have chaped lips, it helps them wistle."