Chapter Two

Chief's Therapy

Were we last left off chief just got off the other halo with his new lacky, Pimpy. and got back to earth to begin therapy because he is starting to get slightly pshycotic. Now lets join the session in progress.

(Scene: master Cheif lays in the bed thingie while therpist is sitting in office chair holding a clipboard and playing tic-tac-toe pimpy is sitting on the chief's sholder)

"I guess it all started when I was a Kid," says the Chief, " I was taken away from my family when i was six and replaced by a clone----,". The chief gets interupted " I've linked your problem to sexual relations did you have sex when you were a kid?" says the therapist. "What!!!," Screams the Chief," of course not, Chief dont Chief that way, well any way after i was taken away they trained me to intensly till i was fourteen". " Yes but are you sure you didn't have sex at a young age," says the therapist. "Of course I'm sure i didn't have sex as a kid you perve!!!!" screams the Chief," well lets continue I have had all of my friends die and I guess that could contribute to it". "Yes I know you had sex at a young age I'm not deaf," says the therapist," you might have to get away from the house for a while to make your forget about your past sexual relations at a young age, now leave I want some privacy I need to get high and jack off"."Ok," says the Chief walking off and thinking to himself that the therapist was a retarded jack ass.

(Scene: Master Chief is in a warthog next to the speaker at a Mc Donald's drive-thru)

"Ok I want five double cheeseburgers and six servings of large french fries," says the Chief, " Oh and a liter-a-cola". "Um we dont serve cola sir, we only have Mountain Dew, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper," says the speaker. "Oh my god you dont even have cola shit you guys need to upgrade your fucking invetory!!!!" screams the Cheif," well i guess ill get a Pepsi then". "Would you like to super-size that for one dollar more," says the speaker. " No, I dont think I will thank you," says the Chief. "Its only a dollar and you get so much more I would do it," says the speaker. "I don't care what the fuck you would do, I don't wanna do it," says the Chief. " But a large will not fill you up and you will just come back an hour later wanting some more," says the speaker. "No!!! I do not want to fucking super- size it idiot, and that final," Says the Chief. "Ok, ok sir," says the speaker while saying "super-size" it in the back round. The chief then pulls up to the second window and get is super-sized food then pulls out and drives towarda hotel like the therapist.

(Scene:A hotel lobby Master Chief is on one side of the counter and a hotel clerk is on the other side)

"Ok I want a room with a single bed, a large tv with Nick, Cartoonnetwork, and Commedy Central," says the Chief," oh, and a continental breakfast"."Ok would you like to upgrade to a double bed and a big screen HDTV for 100 dollars more a night," says the clerk. "No," says the Chief, " I just want what I asked for". "Are you sure," says the clerk," the large tv is a nice addition". "No god damnit," Says the Chief," well then again, I guess a large tv would make South Park look cooler". "Ok big screen tv," says the clerk,"would you like all of the movie channels for 25 dollars more". "No,(sigh) I dont watch movies much," says the Chief. " Are you sure, you get Hbo, Showtime, Cinemax, and Encore which all have premium movies," says the clerk. "No god damnit I don't watch movies," screams the Master Chief ," No, No, No and thats final". "Ok,ok dont get pushy sir, no movies," says the clerk. " what about free pourn for the first night". "No, NO MORE QUESTIONS!!!!!" screams the Chief. " Oh come on sir its free and all men like to uh ..... choke the chicken every once in the while," says the clerk. The Chief thinks about it and decides to get the free pourn. The Chief after going through all this shit goes to the elvator and thinks about how much fun he is going to have that night.

THE END

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