AUTHOR'S NOTE I'm back! No one reviewed last chapter...*sniff* I miss reviews! *hint hint*
DISCLAIMER By now you should know who I own and who I don't. If you don't know, go back and read the disclaimers before this lol.
Sunlight flooded my bedroom as the sun rose over Lórien. Legolas had left before I'd gone to sleep in order to rejoin the Fellowship before they all awoke. But even when it was expected, waking up alone was no fun.
Sighing, I threw off my blanket and pulled on a robe. I hummed softly to myself as I picked up the clothes on my floor from the night before. The silver dress I put by the door, making a mental note to wash it later.
A quick bath woke me up and after getting dressed, I took the silver dress to wash. I had just gotten back before someone started knocking on my door.
I turned from braiding my hair. "Come in!"
Emeriel opened the door, looking pensive. "Hey."
"Hey. What's wrong?"
"You better go find Calíme."
Something in her voice sounded just the slightest bit urgent. I nodded and followed her outside. We found Calíme sitting alone outside her door looking miserable.
"Talk to her alone," Emeriel whispered and fled.
So I approached Cali alone. "Hey," I said, probably far too brightly.
"Hey." She didn't look at me.
I paused for a minute. "What's up?"
"Another group left early this morning," Calíme said sadly, still gazing off into the forest.
I thoroughly confused. "Cali, Elves leave for the Havens all the time. It doesn't mean anything."
She blinked and finally looked at me. "Shamiel left with them. I know you don't care but…"
It broke my heart to see how nonchalant she was trying to be for my sake. I just put my arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry."
Calíme just shook her head. "Don't be. It's just strange. I've never really lost anyone close to me before." He looked as though she was trying to comprehend the idea. "My parents left for the Havens, but it wasn't like they were lost. It was their time. But Shamiel…we've been friends forever. It's just weird."
"I know."
"Thank you Rae," she said suddenly.
I looked at her. "For what?"
She just shrugged. "You're my best friend. Thank you for being here with me."
I just sat with her for a few minutes. She didn't say anything further, just sat for a few minutes and eventually got up to wander off in search of something or other. I felt bad, knowing that there wasn't much I could say.
But I knew she probably wanted to be alone. I decided it was a good day to clean out my house. There was nothing better to do and I felt this random urge to go through my belongings. Shrugging off the weirdness accompanied by that random urge, I headed back home.
**********
I stood glaring at my bed. A small canvas sack lay in the middle of it. That's it. Just a small canvas sack. I had found it in my closet and tossed it onto the bed to move it out of the way. Nothing even mentionable.
But then, as I continued to comb through my clothing, my mind began to wander. How much could I fit in that sack? Would it carry supplies enough for me to journey for several days? How far could I go? It was ludicrous. Absolutely insane! But that stupid sack had planted an idea in my head that would not stop hounding me.
So there I stood, glaring at the canvas demon on my bed and planning how I could leave Caras Galadhon and find Legolas again. It was an insane idea. I knew it was crazy, but that didn't make it any less persistent.
Frustrated, I buried the sack deep in my closet and abandoned my project. I had to leave my house. Its emptiness was only supporting that nagging idea. I had absolutely nothing to do, but I needed to walk.
So I walked. I think I walked for most of the afternoon. For the first time since I was a girl, I went exploring in the Forest of Lothlórien. The trees rustled quietly in peaceful breezes. Calm lived in the forest just as the Elves did. I felt at peace among the trees of my homeland.
And yet, something tugged at my mind, my heart. I longed to venture away from Lórien's borders. To see what the world held. I wanted to be with Legolas more than anything but part of me just wanted to experience everything out there. There was nothing I wanted to do more at that moment than leave Lórien as soon as I could.
"You're my best friend. Thank you for being here with me."
The crushing weight of guilt fell upon me with the memory of Calíme's words. I could never tell her that I was considering leaving too. She'd never forgive me.
Calíme, Emeriel, and Legolas were the three people most important to me. But how was it fair to sacrifice two for one? How could I leave all I had ever known for one person?
But at the same time, Legolas was my everything. He was my destiny – my soul mate. I gave to him my virginity, my innocence, and he gave to me his complete love. Why was I forced to make such a decision?
Emeriel would understand. She would be hurt and saddened, but she would understand. She would follow Colindor across Middle Earth and back if he had to leave. Em would know that deep down, there was no decision to make. I must follow my lover no matter how far he journeyed.
But Calíme would not be so empathetic. Emeriel and I were her closest friends. Shamiel had already left her, what would she think if I abandoned her too?
"Ugh!" I dropped my head into my hands. I had no idea what to do and no one to turn to. This was something I knew I had to figure out on my own.
