Disclaimer: i have no rights to halo or any other copy righted junk in this
fic
Hilo: a Halo Parody
Ch. 3
More Chief Hijinx
"Chief!" screams Cortana, "wake up, there's someone at the door you ass". "Huh," the Chief says groggily,"ah fuck, I was having and awesome dream damnit, I was fucking gettin' head, shit!". "Stop screaming you fucking basterd and just answer the frieking door!" screams Cortana. "Ok, but only if you shut up," says Chief. "Fine," says Cortana. The Chief gets up and walks to the door. "I have a package for.... Cortana," a man in a delivery uniform says. The chief signs the form and walks back inside the house. "What the fuck is this...," asks MC. "Its a robotic suit I can be uploaded into," says Cortana," oh, and I got you a little something to." "Sweet!" MC exclaims, " a blowup doll, I couldn't be happier." "Oh yes you could," says Cortana, " look again." "I'll say it again, Sweet!" screams MC, " two season passes to Six Flags." " Thank you, Cortana," says MC, " now I couldn't be happier."
---------------------------------part 2 MC goes to Six Flags----------------------------
"Damn!" exclaimes MC, " you walk 15 miles through the blazin' hot sun to get to the rides and they expect you to pay $20 for a damn bottle of water." "Haha," says Cortana from inside the robotic suit," good thing I dont need water." "Shut the fuck up before I stick a grenade in your mouth slot," says MC. The robotic mouth shuts and cortana gives the chief a dirty look. "Now lets go on Viper, you up for it," asks MC. The Cortana suit nods. "Cool, no lines," says chief. The Chief and Cortana get on a train and wait to go. Halfway through the ride MC's saftey restraints fly off and he flys strait out of the car on the top of a loop he hits the ground and passes out. "Chief, Chief wake up you fucker," screams Cortana, "you fell out of the car, hit the ground, and passed out." "The restraints must've been defective," says MC. "Actually no," says Cortana, " I opened your restraints on that loop so you would fall out, I thought it would be funny, AND IT WAS HAHAHAHA!!!!!". "MC plucks Cortana out of the robotic suit, puts a grenade in the mouth slot, and pulls the pin, the suit blows up."I've had enough of that suit and of this park lets leave," says MC. The MC turns and leaves the park.
---------------------------------part 3 shellfish, alcohol, and vomiting-------------------------------
We now see MC in a resturaunt without the robotic suit Cortana is now back in the Mjolnier armor. the waiter walks up and says, " May I take your order." " Yeah, I'd like the sample platter please and no shellfish I'm allergic," says MC. " Ok, sample platter minus shelfish gotchya," says the waiter," that'll be out in a few minutes". The chief waits a few minutes gets his food and eats it, we now zoom to two hours later.
2 hours later "Bleaaaeeah," MC vomits. " All traces of shellfish leaving your system," says Cortana," I told you not to eat those little round things." " How was I to know that that was oysters," says MC," just shut the fuck up, and remind me to sue that place later." The MC gets up, gets a towel, and wipes his face. "Lets go out Cortana," says MC, " I need to forget today." The MC then leaves, and we zoom to the next morning.
the next morning "Chief wake up your fucker," screams Cortana. The Chief then wakes up and vomits. "Damn do I have a hell of a hangover," groans MC, " I shouldnt have had them twelve shots of tequilla last night." " And you should've took chaser," says Cortana. " I need a cold shower and a good cup of coffee," says MC. The MC turns on the coffee pot and walks into the bathroom and takes a cold shower.
THE END ??????
WELL I HOPE YOU LIKED IT. IF YOU WANT MORE CHAPTERS PLZ LEAVE REVIEWS THAT SAY SO.
P.S. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPEND TO PIMPY HE DIED DURING A FREEK MONKEY EXPERIMENT ACCIDENT (say that five times fast. lol)
P.S.S. MC= MASTER CHIEF
Hilo: a Halo Parody
Ch. 3
More Chief Hijinx
"Chief!" screams Cortana, "wake up, there's someone at the door you ass". "Huh," the Chief says groggily,"ah fuck, I was having and awesome dream damnit, I was fucking gettin' head, shit!". "Stop screaming you fucking basterd and just answer the frieking door!" screams Cortana. "Ok, but only if you shut up," says Chief. "Fine," says Cortana. The Chief gets up and walks to the door. "I have a package for.... Cortana," a man in a delivery uniform says. The chief signs the form and walks back inside the house. "What the fuck is this...," asks MC. "Its a robotic suit I can be uploaded into," says Cortana," oh, and I got you a little something to." "Sweet!" MC exclaims, " a blowup doll, I couldn't be happier." "Oh yes you could," says Cortana, " look again." "I'll say it again, Sweet!" screams MC, " two season passes to Six Flags." " Thank you, Cortana," says MC, " now I couldn't be happier."
---------------------------------part 2 MC goes to Six Flags----------------------------
"Damn!" exclaimes MC, " you walk 15 miles through the blazin' hot sun to get to the rides and they expect you to pay $20 for a damn bottle of water." "Haha," says Cortana from inside the robotic suit," good thing I dont need water." "Shut the fuck up before I stick a grenade in your mouth slot," says MC. The robotic mouth shuts and cortana gives the chief a dirty look. "Now lets go on Viper, you up for it," asks MC. The Cortana suit nods. "Cool, no lines," says chief. The Chief and Cortana get on a train and wait to go. Halfway through the ride MC's saftey restraints fly off and he flys strait out of the car on the top of a loop he hits the ground and passes out. "Chief, Chief wake up you fucker," screams Cortana, "you fell out of the car, hit the ground, and passed out." "The restraints must've been defective," says MC. "Actually no," says Cortana, " I opened your restraints on that loop so you would fall out, I thought it would be funny, AND IT WAS HAHAHAHA!!!!!". "MC plucks Cortana out of the robotic suit, puts a grenade in the mouth slot, and pulls the pin, the suit blows up."I've had enough of that suit and of this park lets leave," says MC. The MC turns and leaves the park.
---------------------------------part 3 shellfish, alcohol, and vomiting-------------------------------
We now see MC in a resturaunt without the robotic suit Cortana is now back in the Mjolnier armor. the waiter walks up and says, " May I take your order." " Yeah, I'd like the sample platter please and no shellfish I'm allergic," says MC. " Ok, sample platter minus shelfish gotchya," says the waiter," that'll be out in a few minutes". The chief waits a few minutes gets his food and eats it, we now zoom to two hours later.
2 hours later "Bleaaaeeah," MC vomits. " All traces of shellfish leaving your system," says Cortana," I told you not to eat those little round things." " How was I to know that that was oysters," says MC," just shut the fuck up, and remind me to sue that place later." The MC gets up, gets a towel, and wipes his face. "Lets go out Cortana," says MC, " I need to forget today." The MC then leaves, and we zoom to the next morning.
the next morning "Chief wake up your fucker," screams Cortana. The Chief then wakes up and vomits. "Damn do I have a hell of a hangover," groans MC, " I shouldnt have had them twelve shots of tequilla last night." " And you should've took chaser," says Cortana. " I need a cold shower and a good cup of coffee," says MC. The MC turns on the coffee pot and walks into the bathroom and takes a cold shower.
THE END ??????
WELL I HOPE YOU LIKED IT. IF YOU WANT MORE CHAPTERS PLZ LEAVE REVIEWS THAT SAY SO.
P.S. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPEND TO PIMPY HE DIED DURING A FREEK MONKEY EXPERIMENT ACCIDENT (say that five times fast. lol)
P.S.S. MC= MASTER CHIEF
