Chapter 4: The Meeting
Back in town, people were draped over the Penguin's limousine. Catwoman was sitting in the Penguin's limo, while the Scarecrow and Two Face leaned against it. The Penguin and the Riddler were lying back to back beside it.
"Did anyone think to check the sewers?"
The Riddler sighed.
"This morning."
Everyone groaned. Suddenly, Catwoman perked up. She listened as she heard a strange rumbling sound.
"Hear that?" she asked.
"What?" asked Scarecrow.
"Shh!" Catwoman hissed.
The rumbling got louder. A strange black car came into the street. The driver of the car was all too familiar.
"Joker!" Riddler exclaimed.
Cries of "Joker!" "Joker's back!" and several cheers were heard. The Joker pulled up in front of the platform.
"Where have you been?" asked Penguin.
"Out," said Joker. "Call a town meeting, and I'll tell everyone all about it!"
"When?"
"Immediately!"
Penguin quickly turned to Catwoman.
"Already on it," she said.
She dashed off. The rest of the crowd departed, eager to help spread the news.
~~~
Ivy was asleep, slumped at her desk, her head in her arms. Harley gently placed a blanket around her, just as Catwoman arrived at the window.
"Town meeting tonight," she said.
Harley nodded as Catwoman left, then looked at Ivy. Ivy was sleeping peacefully, a faint trace of a smile on her lips. A pang of guilt twang inside Harley's stomach, but thoughts of the Joker drove it away almost instantly. She looked down at Ivy, whose small smile was a tad more visible now.
"Probably dreaming of plants," Harley muttered.
She then quietly slipped out the door.
~~~
The entire Underworld had gathered in an old school gym. The school served as their Town Hall. The old school tables and benches were where they all sat.
It was so crowded that Harley couldn't find a seat. She reached into her pocket and luckily enough, she pulled out one small seed spore and dropped it on the ground. A vine grew just enough to elevate her, so she could see. The Joker entered the stage and went over to the platform.
"Listen, everyone!"
The crowd grew quiet. Harley let out a dreamy sigh. The Joker began to speak.
"Now, what I am going to say, you may not believe. It seems like a dream, but it is not. Now, we have all gone up against Batman. And, as always, he has his stupid little gadgets with him. But...I have managed to get one of his belts."
The Joker held it up. The crowd "oooo-ed" and "ah-ed."
Clayface stood up.
"Hey! How do we know that thing is real?"
The Joker reached into one of the pockets and pulled out a Bat-A-Rang. He pushed a button, making it flip into a full bat, before he threw it. It went right inside Clayface's mud-like body.
"Is that proof enough for you?"
The crowd nodded.
"Now, the place I have been to," the Joker said, "is the Batcave. It was strange and twisted. I couldn't stay long because Batsy and Birdboy arrived. I just barely got away. Had I lingered, I would have been caught."
"Was it scary in there?" asked the Scarecrow.
"Was it creepy?" asked Riddler.
"Or damp?" asked Catwoman.
"It was the most disgusting place I've ever seen," the Joker replied. "Bats everywhere! But...it did have a computer..."
"Oooo!" Baby Doll exclaimed.
The Riddler grinned.
"A computer?"
"Yes! And with the touch of a button, you can make any one of our profiles come up!"
"Perhaps we can hack into it!" the Riddler said.
"And delete our files!" the Mad Hatter added.
"I tried," said the Joker, "and couldn't. But now we know how he remembers everything."
"Was there anything else?" Mr. Freeze asked.
"I told you, I didn't have much time to look. I barely got a chance to play with the computer!"
The crowd seemed disappointed. This did not please the Joker very well.
"But not to worry. I am coming up with a scheme right now!"
The crowd cheered.
"And I promise, this scheme is going to be the best!"
The crowd cheered again.
"And finally, Batman shall be humiliated before he meets his most impending doom! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The crowd went wild. The Joker took a bow, then walked behind the stage. The curtains closed. He listened as everyone filed out of their make-shift Town Hall.
"It is a shame," he said to himself, "that no one really understood." He sighed. "Oh well."
~~~
That night, the Joker was thinking about the meeting. As far has he was concerned, it had not gone well. He left more confusion than help, and now he would have to come up with a whole new plan. He sat at his desk, looking through all his tried and failed plans to kill Batman.
"There has to be something I haven't tried," he said, "but what?"
The Joker sighed, then buried his head in his hands then picked up his pencil. Slowly, the freshly sharpened lead left a new mark, the start of his newest plan.
~~~
Harley quietly slipped back in the house. She slowly opened the door, to make sure it didn't make any noise. With the same gradual care, she shut it. Suddenly, Ivy's bush began to roar and move furiously.
"Shh," said Harley, gently stroking one of its long, tentacle-like vines. "You know me. It's just me, Harley Quinn."
The bush quickly stopped.
"Good plant," Harley whispered.
"Indeed it is."
Harley froze on the spot. Busted.
"Did you have a nice night, Harley?" asked Poison Ivy, who was right behind her.
She was wearing a hunter green robe and matching slippers. One hand was one her hip, the other was clasping an ice pack to her head. Her foot was tapping impatiently. Harley hung her head. She knew Ivy was going to find out sooner or later. She slowly turned around, her head drooping in guilt, her hands clasped in front of her.
"I'm sorry, Ivy," she said quietly. "It was the only way I could get out."
"Yeah," said Ivy. "The only way to see the Joker, you mean."
"Red---"
Ivy put on a tone similar to a mother talking her a teenage daughter.
"Harley, I tell you and tell you. I lecture you and sometimes I even yell at you! He is nothing but trouble! You need to stay away from him!"
Harley looked up.
"But, Red---"
Ivy pulled the ice pack away from her head, putting that hand to her hip as well. Her foot tapped dangerously. Harley hung her head again.
"I'm going to my room," she said quietly.
She walked past Ivy without another word. Ivy followed her. Harley went into her room and sat on her bed. Ivy went inside. She closed and locked the window, before she picked Harley's boxing glove, revolver, and mallet, the things she could use to break glass. She placed them in her own room, then went back to Harley.
"I don't want to do this, Harley-girl," she said quietly, a hint of guilt in her voice, "but it's for your own good. I don't want you getting hurt."
"I understand," said Harley, gently kicking her feet as she sat on her bed.
"I'm sorry," said Ivy.
With that, she gently closed the door, locking it behind her.
~~~
Harley sighed and lied back, fighting the urge to cry. Her thoughts played around her head. She didn't want to stay here, but she couldn't leave. She knew Ivy was only trying to keep her from getting hurt, but she was hurt just by not seeing the Joker. Harley thought of him and the town meeting. What was he planning?
She rolled onto her stomach and set her chin in her hands. She gently kicked her feet and thought about Ivy and Joker, and how they hated each other. She thought of herself, always caught between them. She thought of them both, how each was always trying to keep her away from the other. Harley sighed and sat up on her bed. She buried her face in her hands, wondering what she should do.
~~~
Early the next morning, Poison Ivy was sitting at the table in her robe and slippers, the ice pack at her head, trying to think. She had a small cup of herbal tea, one of her own special formulas, to hopefully help with her headache. Suddenly, the bush went wild. It writhed and shrieked even louder than usual, which meant she had company she most especially despised.
"Who can that be?" asked Ivy, thinking of all the people she hated especially.
She slowly got up and went to the door. When it opened, she groaned. It was her least favorite person of all, someone she hated even more than Batman, the person who was at the very top of her hate list. It was the Joker.
"Morning, Pammy," he said, giving her a small smile.
"What are you doing here?" asked Ivy.
She did not want him to see here at all, especially in the morning in her robe and slippers, with her hair a mess and with a splitting headache.
"I've come for my Harls, of course!"
"She's not here," Ivy answered, almost instantly.
"Oh, come on, Pam," said Joker. "You and I both know perfectly well that this is where she comes for refuge."
"I haven't seen her."
The Joker's grin faded a little. He gently pushed her aside and strolled in the door. Ivy growled.
"Er...nice place you've got here," said the Joker, trying to get on her good side.
"Thank you. Now make like a tree and leave!"
"Why? I just got here."
"I didn't invite you."
"So I drop in for a minute to see my Harls...suddenly I'm some kind of crook!"
"She isn't here, Joker!"
The Joker pretended to be interested in a rather large Venus flytrap. He poked it. It suddenly snapped shut.
"Interesting," he said.
Ivy scowled. Her patience was running low.
~~~
Inside her room, Harley was listening at her door, trying to figure out who was visiting. Almost at once, she recognized the Joker's voice. Her heart fluttered as she listened. What she heard quickly changed her feelings of love to feelings of confusion.
~~~
"I want you to leave," said Ivy.
The Joker ignored her. He continued to examine the plant. Ivy tried again.
"Six seconds, Joker."
"All I want is Harley."
She pulled out her little bracelet that shot out darts and carefully put it on. She then quickly whipped up her arm and aimed for him. The Joker backed away. Ivy cornered him against the wall.
"Now, for some reason, I think Harley isn't the reason you came. You never come for her. She always goes to you. Isn't that correct?"
"So I make an exception..."
Ivy loaded a few darts into her weapon, making a clicking sound.
"Okay, okay, don't lose your leaves! All right, there are two reasons I came. One was to hopefully find Harley, which as I see is not going to happen, and the other to ask you for a little...help..."
"And why would I want to help you?"
"I just need to borrow some equipment," he replied. "I'm conducting a few experiments."
"And what do I get in return?"
"I'll pay any price. Look, I need the stuff to help to overthrow Batsy. Just a microscope and a few test tubes, I promise."
As Ivy thought it over, a clever smile formed on her rosy lips.
"...Any price?"
"Anything at all, Pammy."
He grinned in a menacing way. Ivy thought for a minute. Again a clever smile formed over her poisonous lips. Her voice was a bit quieter as she spoke.
"If you want my equipment...you are to stay away from me and Harley."
"WHAT?!"
"That's my price. You said so yourself: anything I wanted. That is what I want. I want you to stay away from Harley and me. If we're out in public, you walk the other way. If we're out and happen to be in the same place as you, you will leave."
The Joker growled, but thought it over. He grinned, as only he could do.
"Fine. Deal. We'll even shake on it."
"Let me see your hand."
"Why?"
"Let me see it!"
"Sheesh, you'd think she didn't trust me..."
Ivy inspected is hand, making sure he didn't have his infamous hand buzzer. She then shook it. Each one gripped like they were trying to break the other's fingers. They finally let go. Both of their hands were sore, but neither said anything, for their own pride. Neither would admit that the other had hurt them.
Ivy then wrote out a small contract that showed that they would each keep their word. Once it was signed by the both of them, Ivy folded the paper, turned around and stuffed it into her bodice, before she got the Joker the equipment he needed. She came back with a small black bag that contained a microscope, a few slides, some test tubes, a dropper, and some Petri dishes. The Joker took it carefully. However, his grin never once faded.
"You only said that I had to stay away, Pam," he said wickedly. "But if Harley chooses to come to me, she shall. And furthermore, you said, 'we,' referring to yourself and Harley. If she's on her own, I can get her back. We never agreed on that."
Ivy snarled. As usual, the Joker found a loophole in the agreement. He was good at that. With a wicked grin still formed over those rich red lips, the Joker left, having what he had come for.
Once he was gone, Ivy chuckled to herself, knowing that the Joker was never going to get Harley back.
"Harley will never be alone...never."
~~~
Harley had listened to the entire conversation---or at least, she tried. She caught the experiment part very well, but their voices seemed to get quiet as they discussed something else, though she did hear the Joker go, "WHAT?!" to whatever it was they were talking about. What little she caught was something about the Joker staying away from her and Ivy.
Harley sighed and sat on her bed. Once again, she was the subject of yet another quarrel. She was growing tired of this. It seemed she was going to have to choose either one or the other. Her mind suddenly flipped to the experiments. Why would the Joker need to equipment? And how could he be so desperate that he would come to Ivy, the one person he despised the most, second only to Batman?
"Hmm...Experiments?" Harley whispered to herself.
Back in town, people were draped over the Penguin's limousine. Catwoman was sitting in the Penguin's limo, while the Scarecrow and Two Face leaned against it. The Penguin and the Riddler were lying back to back beside it.
"Did anyone think to check the sewers?"
The Riddler sighed.
"This morning."
Everyone groaned. Suddenly, Catwoman perked up. She listened as she heard a strange rumbling sound.
"Hear that?" she asked.
"What?" asked Scarecrow.
"Shh!" Catwoman hissed.
The rumbling got louder. A strange black car came into the street. The driver of the car was all too familiar.
"Joker!" Riddler exclaimed.
Cries of "Joker!" "Joker's back!" and several cheers were heard. The Joker pulled up in front of the platform.
"Where have you been?" asked Penguin.
"Out," said Joker. "Call a town meeting, and I'll tell everyone all about it!"
"When?"
"Immediately!"
Penguin quickly turned to Catwoman.
"Already on it," she said.
She dashed off. The rest of the crowd departed, eager to help spread the news.
~~~
Ivy was asleep, slumped at her desk, her head in her arms. Harley gently placed a blanket around her, just as Catwoman arrived at the window.
"Town meeting tonight," she said.
Harley nodded as Catwoman left, then looked at Ivy. Ivy was sleeping peacefully, a faint trace of a smile on her lips. A pang of guilt twang inside Harley's stomach, but thoughts of the Joker drove it away almost instantly. She looked down at Ivy, whose small smile was a tad more visible now.
"Probably dreaming of plants," Harley muttered.
She then quietly slipped out the door.
~~~
The entire Underworld had gathered in an old school gym. The school served as their Town Hall. The old school tables and benches were where they all sat.
It was so crowded that Harley couldn't find a seat. She reached into her pocket and luckily enough, she pulled out one small seed spore and dropped it on the ground. A vine grew just enough to elevate her, so she could see. The Joker entered the stage and went over to the platform.
"Listen, everyone!"
The crowd grew quiet. Harley let out a dreamy sigh. The Joker began to speak.
"Now, what I am going to say, you may not believe. It seems like a dream, but it is not. Now, we have all gone up against Batman. And, as always, he has his stupid little gadgets with him. But...I have managed to get one of his belts."
The Joker held it up. The crowd "oooo-ed" and "ah-ed."
Clayface stood up.
"Hey! How do we know that thing is real?"
The Joker reached into one of the pockets and pulled out a Bat-A-Rang. He pushed a button, making it flip into a full bat, before he threw it. It went right inside Clayface's mud-like body.
"Is that proof enough for you?"
The crowd nodded.
"Now, the place I have been to," the Joker said, "is the Batcave. It was strange and twisted. I couldn't stay long because Batsy and Birdboy arrived. I just barely got away. Had I lingered, I would have been caught."
"Was it scary in there?" asked the Scarecrow.
"Was it creepy?" asked Riddler.
"Or damp?" asked Catwoman.
"It was the most disgusting place I've ever seen," the Joker replied. "Bats everywhere! But...it did have a computer..."
"Oooo!" Baby Doll exclaimed.
The Riddler grinned.
"A computer?"
"Yes! And with the touch of a button, you can make any one of our profiles come up!"
"Perhaps we can hack into it!" the Riddler said.
"And delete our files!" the Mad Hatter added.
"I tried," said the Joker, "and couldn't. But now we know how he remembers everything."
"Was there anything else?" Mr. Freeze asked.
"I told you, I didn't have much time to look. I barely got a chance to play with the computer!"
The crowd seemed disappointed. This did not please the Joker very well.
"But not to worry. I am coming up with a scheme right now!"
The crowd cheered.
"And I promise, this scheme is going to be the best!"
The crowd cheered again.
"And finally, Batman shall be humiliated before he meets his most impending doom! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The crowd went wild. The Joker took a bow, then walked behind the stage. The curtains closed. He listened as everyone filed out of their make-shift Town Hall.
"It is a shame," he said to himself, "that no one really understood." He sighed. "Oh well."
~~~
That night, the Joker was thinking about the meeting. As far has he was concerned, it had not gone well. He left more confusion than help, and now he would have to come up with a whole new plan. He sat at his desk, looking through all his tried and failed plans to kill Batman.
"There has to be something I haven't tried," he said, "but what?"
The Joker sighed, then buried his head in his hands then picked up his pencil. Slowly, the freshly sharpened lead left a new mark, the start of his newest plan.
~~~
Harley quietly slipped back in the house. She slowly opened the door, to make sure it didn't make any noise. With the same gradual care, she shut it. Suddenly, Ivy's bush began to roar and move furiously.
"Shh," said Harley, gently stroking one of its long, tentacle-like vines. "You know me. It's just me, Harley Quinn."
The bush quickly stopped.
"Good plant," Harley whispered.
"Indeed it is."
Harley froze on the spot. Busted.
"Did you have a nice night, Harley?" asked Poison Ivy, who was right behind her.
She was wearing a hunter green robe and matching slippers. One hand was one her hip, the other was clasping an ice pack to her head. Her foot was tapping impatiently. Harley hung her head. She knew Ivy was going to find out sooner or later. She slowly turned around, her head drooping in guilt, her hands clasped in front of her.
"I'm sorry, Ivy," she said quietly. "It was the only way I could get out."
"Yeah," said Ivy. "The only way to see the Joker, you mean."
"Red---"
Ivy put on a tone similar to a mother talking her a teenage daughter.
"Harley, I tell you and tell you. I lecture you and sometimes I even yell at you! He is nothing but trouble! You need to stay away from him!"
Harley looked up.
"But, Red---"
Ivy pulled the ice pack away from her head, putting that hand to her hip as well. Her foot tapped dangerously. Harley hung her head again.
"I'm going to my room," she said quietly.
She walked past Ivy without another word. Ivy followed her. Harley went into her room and sat on her bed. Ivy went inside. She closed and locked the window, before she picked Harley's boxing glove, revolver, and mallet, the things she could use to break glass. She placed them in her own room, then went back to Harley.
"I don't want to do this, Harley-girl," she said quietly, a hint of guilt in her voice, "but it's for your own good. I don't want you getting hurt."
"I understand," said Harley, gently kicking her feet as she sat on her bed.
"I'm sorry," said Ivy.
With that, she gently closed the door, locking it behind her.
~~~
Harley sighed and lied back, fighting the urge to cry. Her thoughts played around her head. She didn't want to stay here, but she couldn't leave. She knew Ivy was only trying to keep her from getting hurt, but she was hurt just by not seeing the Joker. Harley thought of him and the town meeting. What was he planning?
She rolled onto her stomach and set her chin in her hands. She gently kicked her feet and thought about Ivy and Joker, and how they hated each other. She thought of herself, always caught between them. She thought of them both, how each was always trying to keep her away from the other. Harley sighed and sat up on her bed. She buried her face in her hands, wondering what she should do.
~~~
Early the next morning, Poison Ivy was sitting at the table in her robe and slippers, the ice pack at her head, trying to think. She had a small cup of herbal tea, one of her own special formulas, to hopefully help with her headache. Suddenly, the bush went wild. It writhed and shrieked even louder than usual, which meant she had company she most especially despised.
"Who can that be?" asked Ivy, thinking of all the people she hated especially.
She slowly got up and went to the door. When it opened, she groaned. It was her least favorite person of all, someone she hated even more than Batman, the person who was at the very top of her hate list. It was the Joker.
"Morning, Pammy," he said, giving her a small smile.
"What are you doing here?" asked Ivy.
She did not want him to see here at all, especially in the morning in her robe and slippers, with her hair a mess and with a splitting headache.
"I've come for my Harls, of course!"
"She's not here," Ivy answered, almost instantly.
"Oh, come on, Pam," said Joker. "You and I both know perfectly well that this is where she comes for refuge."
"I haven't seen her."
The Joker's grin faded a little. He gently pushed her aside and strolled in the door. Ivy growled.
"Er...nice place you've got here," said the Joker, trying to get on her good side.
"Thank you. Now make like a tree and leave!"
"Why? I just got here."
"I didn't invite you."
"So I drop in for a minute to see my Harls...suddenly I'm some kind of crook!"
"She isn't here, Joker!"
The Joker pretended to be interested in a rather large Venus flytrap. He poked it. It suddenly snapped shut.
"Interesting," he said.
Ivy scowled. Her patience was running low.
~~~
Inside her room, Harley was listening at her door, trying to figure out who was visiting. Almost at once, she recognized the Joker's voice. Her heart fluttered as she listened. What she heard quickly changed her feelings of love to feelings of confusion.
~~~
"I want you to leave," said Ivy.
The Joker ignored her. He continued to examine the plant. Ivy tried again.
"Six seconds, Joker."
"All I want is Harley."
She pulled out her little bracelet that shot out darts and carefully put it on. She then quickly whipped up her arm and aimed for him. The Joker backed away. Ivy cornered him against the wall.
"Now, for some reason, I think Harley isn't the reason you came. You never come for her. She always goes to you. Isn't that correct?"
"So I make an exception..."
Ivy loaded a few darts into her weapon, making a clicking sound.
"Okay, okay, don't lose your leaves! All right, there are two reasons I came. One was to hopefully find Harley, which as I see is not going to happen, and the other to ask you for a little...help..."
"And why would I want to help you?"
"I just need to borrow some equipment," he replied. "I'm conducting a few experiments."
"And what do I get in return?"
"I'll pay any price. Look, I need the stuff to help to overthrow Batsy. Just a microscope and a few test tubes, I promise."
As Ivy thought it over, a clever smile formed on her rosy lips.
"...Any price?"
"Anything at all, Pammy."
He grinned in a menacing way. Ivy thought for a minute. Again a clever smile formed over her poisonous lips. Her voice was a bit quieter as she spoke.
"If you want my equipment...you are to stay away from me and Harley."
"WHAT?!"
"That's my price. You said so yourself: anything I wanted. That is what I want. I want you to stay away from Harley and me. If we're out in public, you walk the other way. If we're out and happen to be in the same place as you, you will leave."
The Joker growled, but thought it over. He grinned, as only he could do.
"Fine. Deal. We'll even shake on it."
"Let me see your hand."
"Why?"
"Let me see it!"
"Sheesh, you'd think she didn't trust me..."
Ivy inspected is hand, making sure he didn't have his infamous hand buzzer. She then shook it. Each one gripped like they were trying to break the other's fingers. They finally let go. Both of their hands were sore, but neither said anything, for their own pride. Neither would admit that the other had hurt them.
Ivy then wrote out a small contract that showed that they would each keep their word. Once it was signed by the both of them, Ivy folded the paper, turned around and stuffed it into her bodice, before she got the Joker the equipment he needed. She came back with a small black bag that contained a microscope, a few slides, some test tubes, a dropper, and some Petri dishes. The Joker took it carefully. However, his grin never once faded.
"You only said that I had to stay away, Pam," he said wickedly. "But if Harley chooses to come to me, she shall. And furthermore, you said, 'we,' referring to yourself and Harley. If she's on her own, I can get her back. We never agreed on that."
Ivy snarled. As usual, the Joker found a loophole in the agreement. He was good at that. With a wicked grin still formed over those rich red lips, the Joker left, having what he had come for.
Once he was gone, Ivy chuckled to herself, knowing that the Joker was never going to get Harley back.
"Harley will never be alone...never."
~~~
Harley had listened to the entire conversation---or at least, she tried. She caught the experiment part very well, but their voices seemed to get quiet as they discussed something else, though she did hear the Joker go, "WHAT?!" to whatever it was they were talking about. What little she caught was something about the Joker staying away from her and Ivy.
Harley sighed and sat on her bed. Once again, she was the subject of yet another quarrel. She was growing tired of this. It seemed she was going to have to choose either one or the other. Her mind suddenly flipped to the experiments. Why would the Joker need to equipment? And how could he be so desperate that he would come to Ivy, the one person he despised the most, second only to Batman?
"Hmm...Experiments?" Harley whispered to herself.
