Not Another Pokemon Spoof! 2: The UN-Sequel By MegamanZero Prologue: Steal Pikachu? Don't Forget Your Bananas!

A/N: Yep, you guessed it. "Not Another Pokemon Spoof!" is back...only it's not. It isn't any more a sequel than an apple is an orange. I just wanted to use the name. Enjoy.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokemon. I don't own their characters. I DO own this story. I also own YOU.

SURGIN' GEN'RAL'S WARNIN': A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF THOSE WHO BETA-READ THIS FIC EXPERIENCED SYMPTOMS THAT INCLUDED, BUT WERE NOT LIMITED TO; COMBUSTION OF EYEBALLS; HALITOSIS; LOSS OF THE WILL TO LIVE, ANAL LEAKAGE (That's an actual side effect listed on a certain drug. I'm dead serious.); GRAND MAL SEIZURES; AND, IN SOME CASES, MYSTERIOUS PREGNANCY (IN BOTH SEXES). READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

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[We see a man in a black suit with creepy eyes and a face that disturbingly resembles Leonard Nemoy. His smile would make a clown cry. He is standing by a dirt road. It's a dark and stormy night, a cacophony of thunder and lighting echoing across the soaked landscape. Ok, I lied, it's a bright and sunny day with Beedrills buzzing and Pidgey's chirping and all that crap. But the black suit guy actually exists! Let's call him Bob the Narrator.]

Bob the Narrator: And so, a new day begins for our young heroes as they trek onward towards their destination! What new adventures shall they face? What new friends or enemies shall they encounter? What—

[Ash, Misty, and Brock (Pikachu and Togepy too. Can't forget the little scamps.) walk by.]

Ash: So then I says to Gary, I says, "Oh YEAH!? Well you're a big stupid meanie poopoo-face!" And then he gave me this weird look and walked off. Hee hee, THAT showed him!

Misty: [gives him a sidelong glance] Er...yeah, you really outwitted him that time, Ash.

Ash: Didn't I, though? [cracks his knuckles]

Brock: Er, guys? [points to B the N] It's that same guy we saw about five miles ago. He's doing that...talk-in-any-random-direction-as-if-someone-was- listening thing again.

BTN: [talking as if he doesn't even notice they're about 5 feet away from him] What dangers shall they face? Will they find what they're looking for? Why can't I get a date?

Ash: Ew...maybe if we keep walking, he might go away.

Misty: Ash, that's what you said when we saw him in the canyons.

Brock: Not to mention the mountains. [puts his finger up in a very Brocklike manner]

Misty: And don't forget the burning---

Ash: ALRIGHT, I GET IT! Hmm... [gets an evil grin on his face]

Brock: [looks scared] Uh oh, I don't like that look in your eyes, Ash...

[Ash begins to poke and prod B the N with a stick. B the N still keeps doing his narrating thing.]

Brock: Oh, ASH, NOT AGAIN!

Ash: HAHA! He's like one of those British guards who just stand there and never do anything when you poke them with a stick! [looks like he's having way too much fun]

Misty: [slaps her forehead] Ash, the last time you poked one of those British guards with a stick you got a rifle butt to the nads!

Ash: [stops abruptly, shudders] Ugh...don't remind me, Mist. I still can't pee right because of that!

Brock: Wait...since WHEN did we go to Europe!?

Misty: [makes a face] ...I really didn't need to know that, Ash. Well anyways, let's just...STOP POKING HIM, ASH----let's just keep walking.

Ash: [sad] Phooey...just one more little poke?

BTN: [still yabbering]

Brock and Misty: NO.

Pikachu: Pika pika chu chu pi! (I only got one line through this whole scene!)

* * * *

[Suddenly Bob the Narrator is in a different part of the woods for some reason. Coincidentally, Team Rocket are also in this part of the woods, scheming up diabolical conspiracies to be comic reliefs...I mean steal Pikahu.]

Bob the Narrator: Meanwhile, in another part of the forest, our villains are hiding in the brush. What dastardly deeds could they be planning? Does it have something to do with Ash and his Pikachu?

Meowth: I'll be plannin' a MOIDAH if dat guy doesn't quit appearin' outta nowhere like some kinda freakin' phantom o' da opera, I tell ya what.

James: Well, it's not like this fellow can die. He dug himself out of one of our holes!

Jesse: James...EVERYBODY digs themselves out of our holes.

James: [looks hurt and betrayed] Jesse, how can you SAY something like that!? I'll have you know that I put my heart and soul into every hole we make!

Meowth: Grrr if youse guys don't quitcha yabberin' I'm gonna put holes inta both'a ya HEADS!

James: [whispers to Jesse] Hee hee, it looks like Meowth's speech classes were a waste of money.

Meowth: I HOID DAT! And I do NOT have a speech impediment!

James: [quickly] Sorry.

Jesse: [sniggers immaturely] Heh, you really dug yourself into a HOLE that time, James.

Meowth: ARRRGGHH ENUFF WIT DA HOLE JOKES!

[Meowth violently slashes Jesse and James in the face. They just stand there, stunned as though they've just seen Bill Gates naked.

Meowth: Okay, here's da plan...foist, we take deez GUNS---

James: [interrupts, forgetting the deep gashes on his face] Whoa, hold it there! We can't use GUNS! [cheesy suspense music plays] (DUN DUN DUUUUN!) This fic is rated PG, for crying out loud!

Meowth: Whaddaya MEAN we can't use GUNS!? (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!)

Jesse: He's right, Meowth. If we use GUNS (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!) then the network censors will have our buns on a stick!

James: [gulps] That's also true, Jesse...so it's settled, no GUNS. (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!)

[Everybody looks around, confused.]

Jesse: Where in blazes is that music coming from?

James: Beats me...

Meowth: Well, what beats ME is how mah plan is gonna woik widdout GUNS? (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!)

James: Oh, silly Meowth. We don't need GUNS! (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!) We can use...um...uh...

[Jesse and Meowth look at him expectantly.]

James: I'm THINKING!

[The sound of a clock going "tick tock tick tock" can be heard.]

James: Hold on, I've almost got it! It's on the tip of my tongue...

[Meowth and Jesse are playing cards. After what seems to be hours, he finally..."gets it".]

James: I'VE GOT IT!

[The other two look up from their card game (Meowth was bluffing).]

James: We could use...BANANAS!

[They both give him blank looks.]

Jesse: ...

Meowth: ...bananas.

James: Yeah, bananas! Those things REALLY HURT if you slip on them! And they attract MOSQUITOES. I HATE mosquitoes! Oh, and they burn like the dickens if you bite your tongue and get the banana mush in the cut!

Meowth: [totally speechless]

[Everybody's completely silent for a few minutes until Jesse finally finds her way out of the shellshock and speaks.]

Jesse: ...let's just dig a hole.

Meowth: Wright... [gives James another weird look before picking up a shovel]

James: Aww...so...no banan---

Meowth: SHADDUP WIT DA NANNERS!

[And thus they begin their hard labor.]

* * * *

[Meanwhile, Ash and friends are walking...erm...shall we say...hobbling down the path, panting and sweating.]

Ash: Whew...! What a (GASP) brisk (CHOKE) walk...(WHEEZE)! Such (COUGH) good (BREATHE) exercise!

Brock: [can barely breathe] ARE...YOU...NUTS!?

Misty: [panting and trying her best to get some air into her burning lungs] I don't...consider...being chased...by a pack of...rabid beedrills...EXERCISE! [gasps and nearly falls over]

Ash: [caught his breath] Psh, please. Lord knows you could use the workout, Mist. You HAVE been getting a little fat around the edges...

Misty: [gives him a shocked and horrified look] ...WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Ash: Er...I said "My hat is losing its edges!" Yeah, hat losing edges! Definitely. Definitely losing its edges.

Misty: ...whatever, Rainman.

Brock: [whispers to Ash] Nice save.

Ash: [whispers back] Jeez, no kidding...

Misty: [doesn't hear them] So is your mom prepared for our arrival Ash? I could really use some food and a nice hot shower.

Ash: Are you KIDDING!? She practically BLACKMAILED me into eating the feast she's gonna make for us. Not that I'm complaining, though. Her food rocks!

Brock: [stares dreamily] Her cooking isn't the only thing that rocks about her...

[Ash gives him a look of pure horror and disgust.]

Ash: EW! ICKY! GROSS! That's my MOM, Brock!

Brock: Whaaaat? It's not MY fault your mom's hot.

Ash: [clamps his ears shut] AAAGGH! MY VIRGIN EARS!

Brock: [looks confusedly over at Misty] What's his problem? Why is it such a big deal that his mom's totally fine?

Ash: [hands still slammed over ears] LALALALALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEEEEAR YOOOOU!

Misty: [just looks away] Ugh...MEN...

[They continue walking down the road, with Brock still drooling over Ash's mom, Ash still trying to block himself from being traumatized, and Misty being all disgusted. What they DON'T know is that a nice big hole waits for them at the bottom of the hill...]

* * * *

[Team rocket has just finished digging the hole, and are now waiting in the bushes, hoping to claim their prize.]

Meowth: Okay, wememba da plan! Once da twoips go splat in da hole, we use dis here fishin' line...[holds up a Super Rod]...and den we catch ourselves a big one! [starts to drool in anticipation]

Jesse: Ooooh, toooo perfect, Meowth! Just like our last 132,235 times! But I've got a good feeling about this one!

James: The boss might be so happy with us that we'll be rewarded with a year's supply of BANANAS!

[Jesse and Meowth look like they're going to commit MOIDAH. On James.]

James: ...right. Bananas. Shutting up about them. Right.

[A far off giggling sound can be hoid...er...heard.]

Meowth: Alrwright, shaddup you two. Hea dey come!

[The giggling sound is getting closer. We can see where it's coming from.]

Ash: Wheeeeeee!!

Misty! Yaaaaaaaaay!!

Brock: Yaaaaaahooooooooooooo!!!

Pikachu: [on Ash's head] PiKAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (Yeeeeaaaaaahhh!)

Togepy: ZZzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzz

[Upon close inspection we realize that the group is running around in loop- de-loops for some odd reason.]

Ash: Was I right, or was I RIGHT!?

Misty: Hate to admit it, but you were right! Yiippeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

Brock: Running around in figure eights is WAY more fun than just plain old walking! YaaaHAAAAAAAAA!!

[Back to the bushes ahead.]

Jesse: ...

James: ...

Meowth: ....[whispering loudly] what...da POKEBALL...are dey DOIN!?

Jesse: [disgusted] Ugh, how stupid...how immature...how childish...how---

James: TOTALLY AWESOME-LOOKING!

[He just receives blank looks from the others.]

James: Erm...I mean...PAH! What DEPLORABLE behavior. Hmph! [turns his nose up]

Meowth: Ah well, it doesn' mattah. From da way dey're movin', I can tell dat dey're gonna coive wight inta our twap!

Jesse: [just looks confused] ...what?

James: "coive wight inta our twap"??

Meowth: Rrrrr, dey're gonna fall in da HOLE! Jeez. Iz like ya guys have WAWTAHMELON in ya ears, er sumtin.

James: [looks even more confused] "Wawta"—

Meowth: IS DERE SUMTIN WRONG WIT DA WAY I TAWK!?

James: [quickly] No! No no no no no! Of course not! What gave you THAT idea!? Heheheh... [looks over and helplessly mouths "TAWK!?" to Jesse.]

Meowth: Okay okay! Dey're gettin' closa!

[Ash and Co. are still running around in circles.]

Meowth: Clossaa...

[Still loop-de-looping.]

Meowth: Just a liddle moooore...

Bob the Narrator: Will Ash and friends fall victim to Team Rocket's cleverly-made trap? What kind of hilarities await our heroes at Pallet Town? Will Meowth ever reconsider taking speech classes? Find out on the next EXCITING chapter of "Not Another Pokemon Spoof! 2: The UN-Sequel"!

James: ...he came back again.

Meowth: [sighs, paws on forehead] I know, I KNOW.

~END OF CHAPTER~