Pillows Make the Best Confessionals
~FawkesRises
Notes: Thanx to all my reviewers out there in reviewer-dom! Okay, this is the first chappie of a four part thing I got bit by last nite after watching "The Escape." It's all inspired by that bed scene where Ryan/Marissa and Seth/Summer are sleeping together, but facing away from each other. I thought it might be interesting to get inside their heads….Summer's up first because I LOVED HER in this epi-I really wanted to see her kick Holly's a** all over the club *grin*. Oh yeah and each chappie is named after the MB20 song I wrote it too (lyrics too). I guess I'm on a first person POV/MB20 kick right now so sit back, relax, and enjoy!
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Summer
***
It won't be the first-heart that you break
It won't be the last-beautiful girl
The one that you wrecked-won't take you back
If you were the last beautiful girl in the world
***
Seth Cohen…
He's like the boy version of 'the girl next door'.
I secretly like the fact that he doesn't always let me get my way. Except of course when it lands us in a ratty motel in the middle of nowhere.
But he's sleeping right beside me. And even though I made a big deal out of telling him not to make a move, I know as well as he does that it was just an act. Because Seth's not like other guys. He wouldn't take advantage of sleeping in the same bed as me.
I know that he's mad at me for trying to avoid him-especially after that kiss by the pool. But…
He doesn't understand. I can't let him get too close to me, because then I'd have to admit I love him.
And I can't love anybody.
Not me. I have to be the Ice Queen, the girl everyone wants but can't have. The girl no one touches.
I can't let anyone in-not even Seth. Especially not him. Not the guy who can remember my third grade squirrel feeding habit, or the guy who can recite "I Wish I Was A Mermaid" better than me. Anybody that knows that is too close.
Marissa's the only one that comes close to Seth, and even she doesn't know everything.
She doesn't know how I stand in front of the mirror every morning and wonder if this is the day I'll let someone see me. It doesn't matter though, I always put on my make-up, my fake California girl mask and walk out the door.
I don't look back.
And tomorrow I'll wake up and do it again.
But tonight, I can relax-something I'm not allowed to do with anyone except Coop. Except Coop's not beside me, Seth is.
I don't mind.
