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Sirius Black smiled politely as the girl he had (foolishly) accepted a date with began explaining the finer points of muggle sewing to him. By Merlin, he had only said yes because she had some rather impressive... assets, but now he knew (and he had discovered the hard way), that her personality was not one of them.

"And it's like, I have total control over how the scarf will turn out, you know? No surprises!" the pretty blonde girl finished with a giggle.

"Eh... Yes." He forced a very fake, very manic smile onto his face with some difficulty. Nodding woodenly, he felt like crying as she actually had more to say on the painfully dull topic. Casually turning away, he searched the rose garden desperately, looking for someone, anyone, any reason at all to save him from this torture! For pete's sake, he was a marauder!!!

"Sirius." A quiet, familiar voice came from behind him.

Jumping round eagerly, he practically screamed, "Moony!! How are you, mate?!" grabbing his friend's arm, he leaned in to add, "And details please!"

The blonde girl turned round also, giving Lupin a little wave. "Hi there, Remus!"

"Hi, Ellen."

This seemed to satisfy her as she turned back round and began rummaging through her satchel.

"What?" he asked, as though Lupin just said something important. "Well, I'll have to take you to Madam Pomfrey straight away, old chap!!"

"You will?" said Lupin, confused. At Sirius's glare, he cleared his throat and added, "Er, yeah. You will."

Faking a sickly cough, in a much hoarser voice than before, he added- "I'm not feeling at all well."

Distracted from her search, Ellen looked up. "Oh, but... we were having such a good time, Sirius! I had just got to the part about when I discovered knitting!"

At this, Lupin's eyes widened comically, and Sirius shook his head as if to say "don't ask."

The black haired boy nodded, "You know what, your right. Tell you what, we'll meet up again. Soon! And you

can tell me all about it!"

"Wednesday?" the girl asked, filled with hope.

"You know," He feigned sadness, "I'm busy then. Studying, and whatnot. I'll owl you!"

Grabbing Lupin's arm, he started to usher him away. Without looking back over his shoulder, he called out, "Bye, Ellie!!"

The two boys were soon too far away to hear the dejected mumble of "It's Ellen."

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James was practically dying from laughter. "S-so, let me get this straight. You agreed to meet Ellen, the ravenclaw with the big..." as the boy divulged into laughter again, Sirius growled.

"Yes!"

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he continued, "And... you what? Chatted about sewing?!"

Remus cut in, "And in the rose garden, no less!"

"...The most romantic place in the whole school... sewing?!" This only started James off again, and even Peter let out a shrill giggle.

Shooting Peter an evil look, Sirius grumbled, "At least I can get a girl, Pete!"

Feeling more cocky than usual, Peter shot back (if somewhat shakily), "Yeah, well I'd rather be girl-less than stuck on a bench with Martha Stewart!"

At the three looks of deepest confusion, the mousy haired boy sighed slightly. "Never mind, 's a muggle thing."

It was at the third screech of laughter that Madam Pince lost her head. Stalking over, she told the boys under no uncertain terms, that if they wanted to remain in the library, they'd have to shut it. They decided it was probably time to head back to the Gryffindor tower, anyway.

As the four boys bidded Madam Pince a good night, and trooped out of the library, none of them noticed who had been sitting a mere few tables away from them. A blonde girl, adorned with a home-made scarf and badly-sewn gloves, was crying tears of rage.

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Pondering as to whether she should get "Magically Marking" by Proffesor E.V. esdrop out or not, seventeen year old Rita Skeeter walked through the library. However, seeing her old friend Ellen Laudamus distracted her.

Even though Rita was placed in Slytherin, and Ellen was a Ravenclaw, the two had managed to maintain their at times, tenuous, friendship over the years.

Her forehead creasing with concern (and with the thirst for some juicy gossip), she slid into the chair next to

Ellen, and gave her a hug. Assuming her most friendly pose, she asked sympathetically, "What Happened?"

As the anti-marauder tirade that came pouring out of Ellen's mouth ended, Rita established that Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were behind all this. With a comforting smile, she patted her friend's arm.

"Don't worry, hon. We'll make 'em pay... and I've got just the plan." she murmured.

At Ellen's returning smirk, Rita couldn't help but wonder for the millionth time if the sorting hat

had been mistaken when it put her in Hufflepuff.

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Like it so far? Think I should change something? R&R, people! :)

--Sordidas