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Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried / it all fell apart
What it meant to me / will eventually / be a memory / of a time when I
I tried so hard
In the End ~ Linkin Park
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"Oh Shit."
It was the only thing that entered Severus's mind when he saw her eyes. She was gone into that world in which he had tried so hard to keep the students of Hogwarts away from, where he himself had managed to crawl out of after making the horrific mistake of taking the dark mark. The one person who he had never had to worry about being consumed by the dark side had in the end embraced it and it broke his heart.
"Why?" he managed to croak out still to stunned and saddened to really speak.
"Because it is necessary." Hermione replied. "For four years I have waited for my chance. Four years in which I have kept it silent, like a lion that stalks its prey, blends into its surroundings and slowly, very slowly inches its way near its target until finally it is close enough to strike. I have waited for that precise moment and now it has come. My time to strike!"
The quiet voice in which she spoke in up until her declaration of striking had been so eerie that he could visualize everything she said like a movie flashing before his eyes. He looked at her and wondered if it was at all possible to bring her back.
"Its not the way Hermione," he stated.
"Oh! On a first name basis are we?" She replied with a laugh so brittle it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
"For the longest time, it has been Miss Granger, the insufferable Gyffindor know-it-all. You ridiculed me and belittled me all through my stay here, never once showing any emotion. And now when I have finally,…FINALLY have gotten over what you used to term as a weakness, YOU tell ME that I'M WRONG! Guess what SNAPE! It is YOU WHO ARE WRONG! YOUR YEARS AT HOGWARTS HAVE MADE YOU WEAK! EMOTIONS ONLY HINDER YOUR ABILITIES THEY DO NOT ENHANCE THEM! THERE IS ONLY ONE EMOTION WORTH HAVING….AND THAT…IS……HATE!" She raged.
"For a know-it-all you sure haven't got your facts straight this time, Hermione," Severus stated sadly. "This war we have been fighting, the one your parents are victims of is because of the hatred against all those not of pure blood. Hatred matching hatred does not help matters it only worsens them. Your friends," he stressed, "are down there preparing to fight and die because one person's hate was allowed to spread and breed amongst our world."
In a moment of brilliance, or maybe stupidity, Severus decided to push the proverbial button. "You of all people should know that. You were raised in a muggleworld. You know its history. Your parents certainly knew it and because of it raised you up to be compassionate and understanding. This thing you have become is not what they would have wanted and if they were still alive today they would be sadly disappointed."
"CRUCIO!" She yelled.
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit…..FUCK this kills!" he screamed in his mind as he fell to the floor trying hard not to let the pain overtake him. Voldemort's curses had hurt, but never like this. Her rage was so out of control that it only empowered the curse.
Watching him try to keep from screaming was beginning to tug at Hermione's heart. In order to keep herself from feeling any slight remorse, she looked away and took a deep breath to steel herself from his pain.
" I will not be weak. This is the right thing to do ," she thought.
Allowing the curse to finally stop, Hermione, back in "control" stood over him and for a few moments looked down at him dispassionately before finally bending down to whisper in his ear. "If I were you," she said slowly and quietly, "I would make sure I was nowhere near me on the battlefield. After all you wouldn't want me to mistake you for a death-eater."
She stood up and calmly walked to the door, but before she left she spoke one last time her voice as cold as ice,
"By the way, don't you ever mention my parents to me again. After all, if you were half the spy you and the rest of this community claims you are my parents would still be alive and none of this would have happened."
And with that she walked out the door.
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Severus lay stretched out on the floor, wondering how he could still be alive. He mentally checked to see if all his body parts were still there and functioning.
" Toes: check, legs: check, Arms: check, fingers: check. Head: Obvious…." He thought. " I should really get up and go kill her ," he continued to think, " She damn well could have killed me and she above all people should know that, Goddammit! "
He sat up and slowly rotated his shoulders and rolled his head in an effort to loosen the kinks up. He was old, not age wise; he was only 40, but his body had been put through too much stress and the fact that Hermione knew all this and still pulled a Cruciatus on him infuriated him beyond belief. Then he sighed as her last words registered in his mind. She was right about that of course. It was his fault that her parents died. Voldemort had put the curse on him too many times to count that night. He had barely managed, in fact, to make it back to Hogwart's. According to Dumbledore, it was Hermione who had found him near dead in a hallway near his quarters while she was doing rounds that night for McGonagall who had gotten tied up in the infirmary with a sick student. He had been out for days and hadn't been able to tell anyone of Voldemort's plans until it was too late. His weakness had killed her parents. It was the last time he had heeded Voldemort's call.
** "Hello, old friend." Said the head of Lucius Malfoy in Severus's fireplace. "Voldemort has put a price on your head for abandoning him."
"Lucius, you would stop heeding the master's call if you were always the one receiving the Cruciatus curse every time you attended," replied Severus darkly as he slowly put down the book he had been reading and face the fire.
"Ah, this is all well and true, Sev, but my loyalties are to my Lord and Master and therefore if I am to receive his punishment then so be it," commented Lucius smugly. He knew Voldemort would never punish him so harshly because he was his most loyal subject. Severus's problem was his unwillingness to let Voldemort see all that was going on in his mind and therefore it constantly left Him in doubt, which therefore brought around Severus's punishments.
"For now you are spared," replied Severus, "But as for me, I cannot go back. My body will not take it and I will die. Then who will He have inside Hogwarts to spy for Him? No, this is the best way. You will gain favor with Him by taking my messages to him, this way He will know that I am still loyal." **
"Lucius had liked that plan immensely," he thought bitterly. Dumbledore had consented to it and that's how it had been ever since. However, his body still needed more time to heel and Hermione's curse could have killed him.
"Best warn, Potter," he thought with a grimace. " This is going to go over sooo well. All I can do is watch out for her and try to help her. Otherwise she will be dead like her parents and it will be my fault for that as well ."
He slowly rose and sighed, feeling that no matter what he did today, Hermione's well being had to be his first priority. He left the room wondering why that was so.