Harry Potter and characters belong to JKRolling and Warner and? Books (anyone but me)

This is Profits free.

I know this fic is just a piece of my insanity...Quite silly.

It start as PG but as it goes my hands got a little dirt mind of their on -SO- be warned a faint idea of lime exists here.

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------ Longbottom's fan club ----

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When he came in the boy was looking intently at his poster.

"Something wrong, Neville?" he asked

"No" Neville looked at him and then back to the poster "How does it work, Dean?"

"What?" the boy pointed the West Ham picture "Oh! Football...well I could just show you" and he picked the ball in his trunk "Let's go outside"

And that was the first step to start Longbottom's fan club.

---------------------------------------------

"I think we can play in here" Dean looked around "It's not like they use the field in Quidditch"

"Yeah" Neville agreed shyly.

"First let's get rid of those robes, they are not going to help us" they throwed those aside, in a bench "What do you know about Football?"

"That...that is a game with 11 players and one ball. No flying"

"It's 22 men, 11 in each team" Dean corrected.

"And only one ball! That's absurd!" protested Neville.

"No it's lots of fun, and practly anyone can play. But lets just play a bit" they passed the ball from one to the other (bla-bla-bla)"I think now we can make some penalties" After a long time "So what did you think"?

"Wow" Neville clean his sweat with his arm "It's quite hard but really cool"

---------------------------------------------

4 days latter it was a Sunday morning the ski was clear, the sun had not risen yet.

"Dean lets go" Neville shocked the dark boy out of his bed "C'mon"

"What" asked Dean from the floor "Neville?" he asked confused.

"Let's go play football" the other boy smiled. Dean eyed him; he was wearing a button down, pants that came just under his knees and his usual combat boots (a\n I fancy those).

"You can't play with that" he pointed at his shoes and laughed.

"But I" Neville blushed "All my shoes are like this"

"Okay, we'll just play shoeless...But Neville don't you think it's too early?"

"No I wake this hour every day" Dean eyed him.

"Everyday?" he searched for sings of mischief.

"Everyday." He found none.

"You're insane let me sleep some more" and crawled back to his bed.

"But--"

"Please I need sleep" and he turned his back to Neville.

"Okay... But can you lend me the ball?"

"Yes" and he handed the other boy the ball. Neville thanked and was almost outside when Dean said, "Don't lose it!"

---------------------------------------------

Neville was testing a few tricks with the ball. It had been an hour and half, the sun had risen and no Dean.

"Can I play too?" Neville turned to see Stuart Ackerly, a Ravenclaw "I love football but here everyone seems obsessed with Quidditch. What is you team?" they started tossing the ball.

"I don't have one. I'm new at it."

"Oh! You are a pureblood then?" Neville flinched at his disdain tone "You should be arsenal, they are the best"

"Dean, my room mate, prefer the West Ham"

"They suck, they can't pla-" he was interrupted.

"They do not, Arsenal that did not won for centuries" Said Dean the boys glared at one another.

"Can we just play ball?" pleaded Neville.

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Every Sunday more and more boys came to watch and ended up playing. Seeing they ware all fanatics' muggle born or half bloods they all and each suggested one team for Neville.

"Lyon"

"Manchester"

*

One particular Sunday Lisa Turpin, Hannah Abbot and Eloise Midgen ware in the stands watching the boys play and giggling when Daphne Greengrass came with her cousin Nathalie MacDonald (a\n food) the girls overheard them saying.

"You know what? I always thought that at this age I would be an cheerleader"

"Me too" exclaimed Lisa. The other 4 girls stared.

"You are an Ravenclaw" said Nathalie, two years younger then the rest.

"So I still did watch too many teen movies"

"You know what" said Eloise in a dreamy voice "We could still be"

"No one cheer like that for Quidditch" said Hannah.

"OHOHO. But we have two football teams right here" Eloise pointed at the boys. The girls giggled. Stopping the boys that stared annoyed.

---------------------------------------------

In only two months they had all 22 players, a reporter (Colin Creevey) and 5 cheerleaders (a\n I know that that's not so common in football but some places have them....)

"Since today is quite chilling I brought this" said Neville caring a cauldron.

"What is that?" asked Denis Creevey.

"A refreshment" Said Neville "It's supposed to be warm in the cold weather and fresh at sunny days."

"And you made it?" asked Justin Flinch-Flachey (a\n weird name)

"Yeah"

"I'll pass" said most of the boys.

"OH c'mon!"

"Neville you dropped potions!" said Dean

"But I've been doing that" he pointed the clear red liquid in the cauldron "all my life"

"Who invented it?" someone said.

"Myself" they all stared "Argh...I'll just take one first" he put some in a globet (a\n don't ask me how there was one there). Colin took a picture "See safe"

"You cowards" said Eloise Midgen, one of the cheerleaders.

"Sissy" supported Hannah Abbot.

" 'Gime some, I'll try it!" said Lisa Turpin. Kevin Whirby served her, they all waited anxious. Colin took another picture as she drank it. "That was great, gi'me more!" then all the boys drank it, and the girl too (a\n don't know where)

"Sorry there Neville" said Perks.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm used. Let's just play" he kicked the ball.

"Maybe you should bring it every match" said a Huflepuff that was close to the cauldron.

"And some sandwiches too" said Kevin

"I'm not making sandwiches!" exclaimed Neville.

"No reason t twist your panties' said Kevin "We bring it"

"We who?" asked Nathalie.

"The Huflepuffs, of course" shrugged Kevin.

"I'm not becoming your slave, Whirby" said Eloise.

"Ok, Justin Will bring it!" he said exasperated.

"Hey why me" Justin that was distracted turned his full attention "Some one will help me" he looked to the boy by the cauldron "YOU!" he pointed.

---------------------------------------------

After that day it started to be colder and wetter until it started to snow so the boys

(and girls) had little to no chance to play, until it was April but then fifth years had to do OLWs and the teams ware smaller but playing with the same enthusiasm. Even in Quidditch days.

Until OLWs ware over ant it was full spring they played, drunk, ate and went for a swim.

"We should make an official game" said a Ravenclaw that was keeper, shaking his long hair, splashing water all around.

"Hey I'm here" whined Euan Abercrombie.

"Sorry didn't see you there..."

"No on does" he said in a small voice.

"HAHAHAHAHA"

"Why are you laughing Denis, you're even smaller" said the long haired keeper.

"I'm not!" protested Denis "I'm older, I can not be!"

"Oh Denis shut up" said Colin "I think the official game is a good idea"

"Why is that?" asked Dean.

"Well I've been selling a lot of pictures of you all"

"To whom?" someone asked.

"Girls specially, they seam to like shirtless Neville a lot" Neville blushed hard "We would have a big audience"

"And could charge tickets" said the small Euan. Everyone stared "What? We should make some money too."

"And when would that be?"

"As soon as possible" offered Stuart "The term is ending"

"That's time enough to make the flyer" said Dean already thinking on the draw.

"But we have no names" said the other keeper a Huflepuff.

"Since girls will mostly come for Longbottom" said Lisa from the stands.

"It should be shirts against no-shirts" completed Hannah.

"And Longbottom in no-shirts, obviously" added Daphne.

"Uhg" said the long haired Ravenclaw "I'd forgotten them" he whispered to the boy at his side.

"Me too" the boy said "Girls do you also think Longbottom shirtless sexy?" four of five girls blushed.

"Of course they do" answered Nathalie. She did not fancy boys yet.

"WHAT?!" Justin turned so quickly that his neck made a crack noise "HANNAH! You're supposed to be my girlfriend and not ogle over Longbottom"

"Yeah!" Said a dark skinned boy "What does he have? He is extremely common and clumsy" ("Not that much!")

"He's falling all the time" ("I do not!")

"He's ugly" ("I'm not!")

"And he is-"

"I can hear you, you know?" shouted Neville.

"Oi, sorry there" Said an Irish boy (not Seamus).

"I don't think we should invite any slyterines" said suddenly Perks "They are just going to laugh and call us mudbloods"

"So we don't call them! We don't need them!" said Neville still hot headed.

"I bet the girls will be unhappy" said Colin.

"Why" asked Eloise.

"After Parkinson bought one of the pictures the rest bought lots" Colin made a happy-memory face.

"And who did she bought?" the dark skinned said innocently.

"Neville" Neville that was drinking his potion spat it all out.

"WHATT?!" he managed to say.

"And she had quite a dreamy state too" added Colin.

"And I ask again, what does he have that I don't?"

"If we're going to charge tickets" started Euan ignoring the last statement "we could call personally the slyterine girls that bought pictures."

"I'm not talking to all of them... Some scare me" admitted Colin.

"We could just send owls to them" said an four-eyed Ravenclaw.

"That would be expansive" Euan promptly remembered.

"What's ya problem with money?" said the Irish. Euan shrugged.

"I have an idea" said Lisa "but it would need at least 2 weeks"

"So we are going to charge tickets" celebrated Euan.

"What's the idea?" Dean ignored the small boy.

"We" Lisa showed the girls "will start an Longbottom fan club. We spread the word and all the girls join it we make the game. Colin take pictures of Longbottom in the shower" here Neville protested "and sell only one to Parkinson saying that the fan club bought all the rest. They get in."

"Wow" said most of the boys.

"I don't want to be naked for everyone!"

"Colin'll make it non-moving and from your backside, better?" said Eloise. Everyone stared nervously at the sex symbol and he sighed.

"Yes" the boy said.

---------------------------------------------

"We need pictures of you as a baby" said Nathalie.

Tuesday. The 22 players, the 5 cheerleaders/gruppies and the reporter ware in a meeting, the place an empty classroom.

"Why it's always me?" whined Neville while Colin took pictures after pictures all day. Colin was following him and the older boy managed to be even more clumsy and chaos magnet like.

"Because Slyterine girls adore you!" Justin made kissing sounds.

"Why?"

"Probably because you are the only pureblood. They would not admit to be attracted to me" said the Huflepuff keeper doing an Elvis like pose. They all laughed except Neville (he didn't know who Elvis was).

"You're just jealous" said the other keeper. Neville blushed. Colin took another picture. Neville groaned.

"Stop that Colin! I think we have enough" said Eloise.

"We only need the shower one"

"HANNAH" Justin got up "The only man you will be seeing naked it's me" everyone stared. The boy had the decency to flush "Oh...N-Not like t-that...n-not now...argh" he sat.

"We also need t-shirts and bands"

"Y-You are g-going to make t-t-shirts and b-b-b-bands" Neville gagged. The girls nodded "With my face on it?" they nodded again. Neville fainted. They all gathered around him.

"Me and Euan have a plan" said the Irish "If the girls are using provocative outfits we could also have some horny boys to pay" The girls gasped "What you can sell Neville but can't be sold?"

"Are we that desperate for money?" an chubby Griffindor asked.

"Yes" said Euan in a whisper. At that moment Neville sat in the floor.

"I could do with the extra money"

"Longbottom aren't you rich?" stated the four eyed.

"HA! I wish, and the ingredients for our refreshments are not for free."

"I thought you said you picked them in the green houses" said Dean.

"Well..." he had the grace to scratch the back of his head and blush slight.

"I can't believe it, Longbottom, the sexy bomb, a liar!" some one exclaimed.

"And robber!" added another.

"You thief!" said Kevin good humored.

"What are your fans going to say?" joked the dark skinned.

"Oh stop that will you" Neville said purple by now.

"They won't mind they are Slyterins" said the chubby Griffindor.

"Of course they don't need to know" protected Daphne.

"SHHHH. The Longbottom Fan club has officially started now." Lisa Turpin made a business like tone.

---------------------------------------------

"So you have new pictures" Colin was corned by pansy Parkinson "Because I saw those girls all over you" he nodded "Longbottom?" he nodded again "Let me see" he handed her The picture. Neville Longbottom was naked in a steamy shower you could see his buttocks and his profile, he was scrubbing his back. Colin said he had never felt so humiliated in his life and he was never going to make himself go trough this again, he had had to sneak in for that "Flying gargoyles" Pansy Parkinson Eyes popped out "How much?"

"Two galleons"

"That's too much"

"Well I can sell to someone else" she pretended to think for a moment.

"okay" she paid him "Do you have others?"

"No those girls bought all my film, they say they are from his fan club" she stared "They even stole one of his boxers" he eyed her she was blushing "Just don't ask me how." He started to go away, and when she was out off his sight he runed to the empty classroom/fan club.

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"Neville you are going to give them your underpants" he panted.

"What?" Neville got up knocking his chair "First nude pictures now this?"

"It was the only way she became interested."

"Colin Creevey, I'm going to kill you"

"AH!" Colin Screamed like a little girl and runed away with Neville hot in his heals.

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She was underneath him pictures of his nudity sprawled. It was all Colin's fault. Neville had lost himself running after his fellow. And runed into her.

"Hum Longbottom" she said in a shy voice, he focus on her, she was blushing but so was he "You're heavy"

"Sorry" he put himself in hands and knees, still trapping her down. Something about her hair all around like that made him want to stay in this way forever "Are those pictures of me?" he squealed. He could se her blushing even more, it went ear to ear and disappeared under her blouse.

"I-This-Well-The truth"

"Are those girls from that fan club? These girls have been spreading pictures all around. I've tried to get them but whenever I go there- the 3rd room in the 5th floor- they are gone"

"the 3rd room in the 5th floor?"

"Yeah their headquarters."

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"Boys you can put it next weekend" Hannah barged in.

"What?" asked Denis.

"The official game"

"The Slyterin girls..."

"Appeared all last afternoon to become members."

"And we also have tons of Griffindors" said Nathalie.

"And Ravenclaws" said Lisa.

"Don't forget the Huflepuffs" said Eloise.

"Most of the girls above 14" decided Daphne.

"Except Granger" said Hannah "But she is just weird" Longbottom was astonished "Colin is quite a seller"

"I personally think that somehow they discovered we had his boxers" said Lisa.

"And nude photos" included Daphne.

"Yeah that too"

"How much are we going to charge?" came Euan voice

"How about one galleon" said Stuart "sounds fair"

"We still have the flyers to make!" remembered Dean

"Yeah! 5 girls in skimpy clothes for horny blokes" said the Irish "We could charge more from them"

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Tuesday boys from Griffindor, Huflepuff and Ravenclaw woke up to see a flyer in their dorms windows staring five girls- Saturday. In the common room a warning from a game with boys that several girl had pictures of.

**

Saturday the 22 players, 5 cheerleaders and 1 reporter woke up really early and meet at the Quidditch pitch.

"What do you think of this" Daphne showed her skirt "It's from my first year"

"And still fit, incredible" said Eloise

"Well no, I had to make an enlargement charm"

"I had to shrink mine" said Nathalie.

"We just need to fix our shirts" said Lisa.

"What's the problem with those?" blushed Eloise.

"We have to show belly"

"No way"

After much discussion the showed the bellies and opened one or two buttons.

"We look like scarlet women"

"God if my mother saw me now" started Eloise "I would never come back to Hogwarts"

"Oh c'mon there are muggles that use much shorter cloths"

"Yeah, scarlet women..." snorted Eloise.

**

The long haired keeper put on an spell around so people could only come from one slit. In that slit Colin and Euan waited.

"To see the girls" Euan asked a boy who nodded "just seat over here, you'll have a better view"

At 10 they decided to start the game. That was much shorter than an real game, so the teaches didn't crash in the middle.

As the game went on the girls opened banners with boys names and I love yous. The worse ware the Longbottom's fans they had from banners to shirts and hats. Neville felt sick.

**

"Bugler" Eloise stopped jumping.

"What?" asked Daphne by her side.

"My button just broke" all boys from the stands turned to her- except one that was intently looking at Nathalie, even drooling.

"Let me see" Daphne turned to her and tugged the shirt. The horny boys ware really horny "I'll get a new one" and then she bent, one of the horny boys fainted "here hold" she told Eloise and made some incantation "All fixed" and closed the other girl shirt.

**

Colin took Pictures of it all. The players in groups, the stands, the girls, the fainting boy, the drooling boy and Nathalie blushing because of this boy.

**

The game eventually finished and the fans went to their idols. Lisa elbowed Nathalie on the ribs.

"Go talk to him. I saw you blushing"

**

But Neville's fans attacked him like a rugby game, someway that even him didn't knew he runed away finding security in the prefects bathroom. One of the players was a prefect and told them the password. His peace was short a few minutes latter someone came in. he paled, Pansy Parkinson.

"There you are" she said, he swallowed. She had an predatory way "I want you to know I've been fancying to met you alone for quite an while" she was approaching him "You are very handsome" she grinned and placed a delicate hand on his bare chest. He paled even more "Come here" she pulled him in a kiss. His eyes shot open as hers closed.

When she was finished she blushed and let go from him. Sometime he had started to respond the kiss.

"I---I---" he started but she turned and walked out. He was glad tomorrow was the day they went back home. And after summer everybody would forgotten him.

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================== FINIS =======================

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I had a lot of ideas to put in this and maybe it stayed full of unnecessary scenes but what can I do...

I tried to put the ones that are show as mudb--ops muggle born and others that I decided by the name.

All characters with names exist in the books.

*FEATURING*

According too book five:

5th year Neville and Dean (Griffindor), Justin, Hannah and Eloise (Huflepuff), Lisa (Ravenclaw), Daphne Greengrass and Perks (?)

4TH year Colin Creevey (Griffindor)

3rd year Nathalie MacDonald (Griffindor)

2nd year Dennis Creevey ( Griffindor), Stuart Ackerley (Ravenclaw), Kevin Whirby (Huflepuff)

1st year Euan Abercrombie (Griffindor)

Also

The Four Eyed and Long Haired Ravenclaws, the Chubby Griffindor, The Huflepuff Keeper, the Dark-Skinned Boy, the Irish Boy, The Misterious Prefect, Pansy Parkinson and the Horny Boys.

All my characters end up insane in some level.

BELIEVE IT

MORE COMING ( SOON ) IN

Neville Longbottom's (very) one-sided point of view.

AND IN

Longbottom's Fan club after the summer.