Note: I re-uploaded this chap. Nuttin too special, I juss cleared some stuff up I didn't get clear. I don't clear this stuff up in the next chap, soo…. Toodle~oo.
Whoa... i cant believe it... i ACTUALLY finished I'm Still Dreaming... actually in that fic peoples die, too, sooooo...^^ im so happy... newayz...
on with MORE torture!
Joey:
*groan*....
Yugi: hey, she tortured me & yami in IMD, now
it's YOUR turn
Ryou: yea, and me an samayo (OC) in DF
Yami: and.... well she hasnt
tortured ME yet, but i KNOW she's gonna
in OBO.. HA! OBOE! I KNOW SOMEONE WHO PLAYS THE OBOE!
Everyone: 0.0;;;
Yami: ^_^;;; Im done
Chapter Two: The One on the Outside
Jonouchi had a mixture of emotions deep inside him, and he needed to talk to Honda.
Now.
He couldn't figure out how to get to Honda's, though, since he thought he was stuck with Yugi the whole time. Now... He knew he couldn't. He had to go to Honda; maybe to beat some sense into him. He waited until both Yugi and Rachel were asleep, then set out to figuring out how he would go Honda Hiroto's. That was before he remembered Caro.
"Damn...." Jonouchi whispered to himself, swinging his legs absentmindedly. He was sitting on Yugi's desk chair, watching him for more nightmares. The boy seemed to be sleeping peacefully for a change, but he didn't look happy. His face was angry almost, and he gripped his sheets a couple of times, holding them in a gridlock that Jonouchi might have used on some thug at one time or another.
"Oh, Yugi," Jonouchi sighed, "What's going on here? Has this really been going on the entire time?" He leaned back, thinking to himself. "I wonder... What else has happened..."
"You want to know?" that same soft, fragile voice came to his ears. He turned around, seeing Caro's form standing there, still looking angelic. She smiled for the first time, her eyes lighting up, making them look bright amongst her pale cheeks.
"Yes!" Jonouchi cried. "I want to know what else has been happening when no one notices..." Caro closed her eyes and nodded slowly. They opened again, two deep, lipid pools of clear color, shining like bright, blue stars. Gold and tan were mingled in her irises along with the sky blue color, making them glint. Jonouchi was temporarily stunned at her beauty. A small thought popped into his head...
I know I've seen her before... With that same angelic glow, he knew he'd seen her before somewhere...
Caro looked at him, her expression changing.
"Well, Jonouchi," she said, her arms at her sides, "If you really want to know why your friends are beating upon Yugi..."
"Yes!" Jonouchi yelled again. "I want to know why they're all so.... different!" Caro looked away from him, almost in shame.
"You want to see what happens behind closed doors and sound barriers, don't you?" she asked after a time. Jonouchi stopped. Did he really want to see what they were going through? Well.... It couldn't hurt. And besides, it's not like he could tell anyone...
Right?
Caro stepped up to him, and said softly,
"Picture Honda's room in your mind's eye." Her voice was soft, melodic almost, and pleasing. Jonouchi wondered how a beauty like herself died. Maybe she was like my friends, he thought suddenly. Maybe she was fine on the outside, but inside her own home... Maybe something terrible happened to her... Then he remembered; she could read his thoughts. If she could... She didn't comment on them. She had disappeared.
Jonouchi took one last look at Yugi, then closed his eyes, picturing, in his mind, Honda's large bedroom, the third floor of a wide apartment complex. He suddenly felt a whirling sensation in his stomach, and felt his clothes lift and his hair blow, encircling him. He felt as if he was pitched forward suddenly, falling into the darkness.
Whoa, he thought. Maybe I just should have walked!
The tumbling vortex he was caught in suddenly let up, and he fell out of it, onto the floor. He looked up and around, and recognized the posters and the furnishings and the entire room, as Honda's. Honda himself was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall, with Blankey's head in his lap. She was making little noises, often what she made around Jonouchi or Yugi. She tilted her head and opened her eyes, then lifted her head in Jonouchi's direction. Honda, who was petting her unconsciously, looked at her, concerned.
"Blankey?" Blankey began sniffing the air.
Oh, shikuso, Jonouchi thought. Dogs can see ghosts. I forgot. But was he really a ghost?
Or did he just... exist? Honda shrugged and crossed his arms, staring out the dark window. Jonouchi stood up, brushing off his pants, just so he didn't have to look at Blankey or Honda. He looked up finally though, and walked towards the bed. Blankey backed away, putting her head on the bed next to Honda. He stroked her head gently.
"Wow," Honda said suddenly. "If Jonouchi were here, he'd be killing me right about now."
No doubt about that, Jonouchi thought, cracking his knuckles, as if to hit him. But he knew he couldn't; he was transparent, to some extent. Blankey made little whimpering noises, but Honda didn't notice.
"God, he would get so mad at me..." He looked down at Blankey. "Of course, I'd get to myself before he would." Jonouchi stopped for a moment, staring straight at Honda. Honda averted Jonouchi's eyes, as if he could see him. Jonouchi lowered his fists and sighed.
"Oh, Honda," he muttered. "What are you doing to yourself?" Honda stroked Blankey's dark fur, listening to her little growls.
"I know, Blankey," he said, a bit of a laugh to his voice. "I am being a bitch." Jonouchi rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I keep beating Yugi... I'm just mad, I guess." He looked up at the ceiling, his hands in his lap, his legs crossed. His forest green eyes traveled to a poster on the wall of the Japanese Air Force. Two fighter planes were zooming around in the clear sky, two trills of different colored smoke trailing after them. Japanese kanji decorated the edges, advertising the great skills of the fighter pilots. Jonouchi followed Honda's gaze to the glossy poster. He remembered seeing that poster and asking Honda about it.
After a few minutes, Jonouchi became annoyed, and turned back to Honda. Honda was still gazing at the poster. Jonouchi was about to say something, maybe to get Honda to 'feel' his question, when he noticed the look on his face.
He wasn't staring at the poster. He was staring past it to something Jonouchi couldn't see, to something no one could see. He sighed, his hand lying palm-down on Blankey's long, arched back. Her head was settled on his thigh, her eyes closed. Her short tail was wagging excessively. Honda seemed to be lost in his thoughts.
"Honda," Jonouchi started. "Why are you beating Yugi? I'm sure there's another reason..." His question trailed off into the distance, as if the wind had taken it and tossed it aside to the large Pacific Ocean on the banks of Domino. Honda's eyes bugged, and his head spun around so fast, he had to hold his hand against his head for a moment to get oriented again. Blankey's ears perked and her head lifted, her paws extending her claws onto the edge of Honda's jacket. Jonouchi didn't react. He knew Honda had 'heard' his question just fine.
Honda bit his lower lip, petting Blankey's head to calm her.
"Is, is someone there?" he asked hesitantly, looking around. Jonouchi nodded, although Honda couldn't see him. Honda stopped his wandering eyes, and looked down at Blankey.
"You felt it too, huh, girl?" he asked. Blankey didn't respond. Honda smiled. "I bet Jonouchi's watching me right now, threatening to kill me. I wouldn't be surprised." Blankey gave a small bark, as if asking why. "Well, because I keep beating up Yugi for no real reason... I mean, I just get so angry, I have to hit something, so I whack the first thing I see -- Yugi." He closed his eyes and leaned against his wall. "Now Anzu hates me, and Yugi's scared of me. Otogi thinks I'm a bitch, and I haven't seen Shizuka since the funeral. Ryou is in a treatment center in Tokyo, and Mai is in America." He let out a moan that sounded more annoyed then saddened. "I miss Jonouchi. He would know what to do." Blankey lifted her head a little, giving a little yipping sound.
Jonouchi stood and watched, trying to suppress his rising anger.
Honda....
Honda scratched behind her ears.
"It's not like I'm trying to hurt Yugi.... I'm trying to let my anger out, and I'm taking it out on Yugi. I just... Don't know how to suppress all my feelings is all. I don't want to hurt Yugi, especially with the way he's been acting lately. I'm worried." Jonouchi stood there, dropping his arms to his sides.
Wow, he thought. I never knew Honda was capable of releasing so many feelings..... Of course, he was telling a dog, but still.... He didn't seem that type or person. Jonouchi was impressed.
His thoughts drifted to Ryou and Mai. He hadn't seen either of them for so long.... Ryou was in a treatment center in Tokyo for his breathing problems. He's been there for weeks...
Mai has been in America for almost a year now. She was supposed to visit a few months ago, but, for some reason, she never came. Jonouchi never did figure out why.
"This is pointless," Jonouchi muttered to himself. "Even if Honda tells me what his problems are, and I see how Yugi's mother is treating him, it won't make any difference."
Oh? Caro's voice entered his mind. Suddenly, Honda's room dissolved around him, making his head spin. Jonouchi looked around frantically for any sign of Caro, but her voice seemed to be the only body she possessed.
"Jonouchi, just having someone know can make the difference."
"But I can't tell anyone! How am I supposed to rest now, having all this loaded in my mind?" Caro suddenly appeared before Jonouchi, her hand on her chin, her pretty face confused. Jonouchi jumped, startled at her sudden appearance.
"How are you supposed to rest..." she repeated slowly, as if it were a riddle. She closed her eyes and shrugged, her hands out by her sides. Jonouchi stared at her with a look of horror on his face.
"You mean," he started slowly, "I'll never be able to go to heaven?? Ever?"
"I haven't," Caro said softly, a hint of tears wavering on her voice. Her eyes closed as tears danced on her eyelashes. "I have been watching my brother for three years now, Jonouchi. Until he either gets better, or his life ends, I'm doomed to the same fate as you, my friend."
Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.~ Wally 'Famous' Amos
Honda's lanky figure was lying down on his bed next to his dog when Jonouchi returned to the world of color and sound. Caro had mysteriously dispersed, her form splitting into thousands of pieces, all zooming upwards toward the heavens. The room was dark, only the yellowed light of streetlamps sidling into the room through the window. Honda's chest was rising and falling slowly, his breaths nearly in sync with Blankey. Blankey opened her eyes when Jonouchi returned to the room, and she got up, jumped off the bed, and left the room by pawing at the door. It was open a crack, and it opened some more, a chunk of light from the hall falling into it. Honda was lying on his side, his arm in front of his face, his head opposite end of the bed from his pillow.
Soft voices came from the hallway as his sister approached the room. She peered inside, then pulled the door shut, the room dark once more.
Jonouchi sat on the edge of the bed, now used to the fact he was transparent, and watched Honda as if he were dying.
Honda had always been the one on the edge, the one who never had an active part to play in this whole mess. He didn't own a Sennen Item, he didn't have very good dueling skills, he wasn't anyone's reincarnation. He was of no use whatsoever.
But he was always there. He was always there when you needed him, he knew some useful skills, like how to convince someone that there is still hope. He can, as said by Jonouchi, "shed light in the darkness", as Shizuka had done for Jonouchi. [1] He also is very good with his hands, and his mind. He may not be that much of a threat, but when you think about it, he can be.
Jonouchi felt his heart twang as he thought about Honda. He had helped him so much... Jonouchi just wished he could somehow convince Honda not to beat up Yugi anymore, and help his fallen friend instead.
"I wonder who..." Jonouchi trailed off. He was going to ask who Honda hated so, but he knew. It was him.
Jonouchi.
He hated Jonouchi for dying. Jonouchi watched him sleep, realizing the pain he was feeling was caused by his own clumsiness. Now, because of his death, Honda was beating people up once more, and Yugi seemed to have given up on life. They looked alright on the outside, but deep in their hearts, they were terrified.
A falsehood. Wait, falsehood.... That reminded Jonouchi of a song Shizuka had preformed years back, when she was a little girl of eight. She had a very crisp voice, her high pitches bouncing off the ceiling of the outdoor arena. She had been elected to sing it at a national event in her new home in Kyoto. Jonouchi had heard it on the radio, and seen a news article about it. He struggled to remember her voice, as she sang about falsehoods and deceit...
Jonouchi could see her, standing on a stage, her hands folded behind her. Just last year, she had performed the same song again, since it was supposed to symbolize today's economy.
Her voice rang in his mind.
"Those who are proud, have false priiiiide... Those who are loud, must have lied... Those who are fraaaud, themselves fried... Those light as cloud... Easily gliiide..." [2] Crystal tears formed in his eyes.
He wiped them away without thinking, expecting them to evaporate into the atmosphere.
They didn't. Two drips of salty tear hit the floor with little pitter patter sounds. Jonouchi stared at the floor, then looked up at Honda. Honda opened his eyes a little, sitting up and wiping his eyes. He was humming to the tune of the song Shizuka had sung.
"Ahhh.... why am I awake? I'm so tired..." he moaned, lying down again. Jonouchi sat down on the edge of the bed, watching Honda's eyes look around the room. Honda was stretching and trembling, as if he were cold. He closed his eyes and stayed this way, as if in a trance. Jonouchi watched him closely.
"Honda... What's going on here?" he asked. He had been asking a lot of questions lately... The song rang in his mind. He couldn't keep it out of there, so he began singing it, as if it were a lullaby.
"Those who are proud, have false priiiiide... Those who are loud, muuuust have lied... Those who are fraaaud, themselves fried... Those light as cloud.... Easily gliiide..." His voice was rough and wavering, nowhere near the soft, gentle sound that Shizuka produced when she sang. But he didn't care.
As long as Honda slept peacefully, he really didn't care.
All of this I, I can't believe I couldn't see. Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me...~Evanescence
Honda woke up the next day, crying. He had been plagued with nightmares of Jonouchi, seeing him at a distance, with his father coming after him with a staff. Jonouchi's father was a god, Jonouchi a mere commoner, the man beating him as if he had committed great sin...
He didn't want to see something so horrible in his mind. Shivering, he rose, slipping his uniform on. He intended to apologize to Yugi, explain to him what was happening to him. Ever since last night, when he had felt so many emotions rushing at him like a freight train. He felt as if Jonouchi's own feelings had used him as a medium.
As he walked down the hall, he was lost in his thoughts, even with Blankey barking at the air beside Honda like an idiot dog. All he did was absently pat her head, walking by into the kitchen. His sister, Makurayami, watched him as he grabbed his bag and left out through the door, not even bothering to say hello. Makurayami shook her head, holding a small bowl in her hand, ready to feed Johji.
"I don't understand that kid," she said softly, looking at Johji's bowl. "If only he could say something to us once in awhile... Maybe I could help him." She watched as he made his way down the pathway onto the street, hands shoved into his pockets, not even bothering to look back at her. That was his problem; he didn't give any regards to his sister. Who wished he did.
Honda walked briskly to the high school, thinking of just what to say to Yugi.
Yeah, that's it, he thought to himself, stringing his bag onto his shoulder. I'll apologize to Yugi, and I won't get the urge to slap him. He saw the large building looming in the distance, beckoning him forwards. He could see Yugi's outline in the distance, or at least he thought it was Yugi.
"Hey! Hey, Yugi-kun!" he called, running through the gate. He slowed to a stop as he found that Yugi was nowhere to be seen. Instead, Anzu came stomping up to him, an angry look on her face.
Uh-oh.
"HONDA HIROTO!!" she snapped, loud enough for people around them to turn to them.
"Anzu?" Anzu gripped the front of his jacket in her fist. Even though she was at least four inches shorter then he was, and had half his muscle mass, she seemed to gain strength through her fury. Tears were in her eyes, and her lower lip was quivering. Her eyes were shooting flames, as if they would turn read and begin to glow. She was shaking.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?" she nearly screamed in Honda's face. Honda managed to wrench free of her grip and stepped back.
"Do what?" Anzu crossed her arms, her tears sliding down her face.
"You know what you did, you, you, you bastard!" she said, breathing quickly. Honda shook his head.
"Actually, I don't know. What did I do?"
"You hurt Yugi!" she exclaimed. "I know you did! I know you shoved him into the ground yesterday--"
"--Wait a minute--"
"-- and now he's not even in school! He's never missed school for anything! AND IT'S ALL YOUR F-FAULT!" she was shaking way too hard for Honda's liking. He gripped her shoulders and pulled her body towards him, wrapping her in a hug. It was strange for him to be showing physical affection for someone (besides Shizuka) in public. He was shaking too. Anzu cried and cried, her tears splashing off his jacket. She knew why he was hurting Yugi; they both knew.
Anzu clutched his shoulder and wrapped her fingers around the fabric, nearly tearing it as she gripped it.
"Anzu, it's alright," he said softly. He could feel Anzu shaking her head.
"N-no it's not," she said. She pushed back and looked up at him. "Jonouchi d-died, Yugi's h-hurt or something... Ryou isn't doing well--"
"What?"
"--And-- And--" she stammered, unable to finish her sentence. Nearly everyone around had noticed them, and had heard Anzu. And they all knew what it was about... Jonouchi's death. His suicide had brought all this pain, all this madness to them.
"And what, Anzu?" Honda asked. Anzu wiped her eyes and said slowly,
"And... Shizuka hasn't left her room for days... Mai-san doesn't even know, and she's coming soon.... Mokuba is acting like a crazy person, and.... Otogi--" her tears muffled her voice. She had so much pain in her soul...
Jonouchi almost collapsed as it coursed through him. He was watching the scene. He knew all his friends must be angry with him-- not only that, but he knew they all had secrets that they hid from him, and each other... He wanted to check Shizuka, monitor Yugi, visit Ryou, see Mai, help Otogi, find out what was happening to Mokuba..... And Anzu, whom he knew had something going on… Jonouchi stared at them as they stood there, amid all the other students, who were watching them warily.
Anzu pulled back from Honda, wiping her face. Honda smiled.
"Better now?" he asked. Jonouchi wondered about what she would say… Anzu looked up, glaring at Honda with the most vicious, hated look Jonouchi had seen in a long time.
"I hate you," she whispered, malice hanging on every word. Turning on her heel, she marched inside, leaving Honda standing there, stunned. He closed his eyes and sighed.
"Anzu," he whispered to himself as everyone quickly followed her, as the bell had rung. "What's happening to you? Why are you becoming…" he didn't finish his thought, and slowly walked inside, leaving Jonouchi out on the empty grounds.
"I caused all this?" he said slowly. He thought of Mai, coming to Japan with no warning of what would happen; Shizuka, who refused to leave her room; Ryou, dying because of something he couldn't control; Anzu, with the sister that hates her, and a side he'd never seen; Yugi, with a family who could care less about him. Jonouchi felt rage building inside of him, and screamed
"WHY CAN'T I HELP ANYONE I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT!? HUH, CARO?!"
But only the empty yard was there to answer back.
[]~[]~[]~[]~[]
~*Footnotes*~
[1] "Shed light in Darkness": in one of the BCF eppies in Japanese, the one where Jou dueled Rishid, right before the BIG flashback into Rishid's past, shizuka didnt want to watch anymore. she was afraid. but jonouchi said that he had given her light by making her able to see again, and she "shed light" on his confidence and playing skills, and gave him hope. "Shed light in darkness." then rishid went into flash-back mode....
[2] Falsehood: This is actually a poem written by an author named Shahriar Shahriari. I dont own it. Its short and its entitled "Falsehood". ^^
~*End Footnotes~*
SOOOOOOO... what dya think? that was about honda... so... next chap will be anzu and her problems "behind closed doors and sound barriers". i like the way that sounds!
Joey: wow,
i never knew that was going on with them.... thats really depressing, Shibby.
o, btw, are we gonna come back to yugi?
Shibby: yep. im gonna try to intertwine all their stories to lead back to yugi. now, next chap will be anzu,
which will lead to ryou, who will lead to otogi, who will lead to shizuka,
who will lead to mai, who will eventually lead BACK
to yugi.
Joey: @_@ dizzy...
Next chap: Anzu's turn to tell Jonouchi what her deal is… And it's nothing he ever thought he'd see. Chapter Three: Dancer with a Broken Wing
reviewz:
Jeshone: yea, I
know you're a JoeyxIsis person, but I killed off joey…*evil snicker* newayz I hope
you liked the Honda-based chap!
Anonymous: that's okay. You don't need a name if you don't
want one… hehe yes I did watch that… but that's not
the only thing im going off of for this story.
Unable to Cry: actually, from my previous account, yes, I did know that.
I had another account on ff.net a few years back that got terminated, when I
still wrote lotsa Poke fics.
The more angsty the fics
got, the more people read. I'll update as fast as humanly possible, but I have
about three other fics going on at the same time.
Una1: *^___________^* aww! That's so sweet! I
feel so special…^^!! I'm glad I wrote a fic to your
liking. It didn't make me cry, but I am the one who wrote it, and when I saw
the Togos and Teges thing on tv, I cried at it.
Also when I read some stories on suicide and abuse in Japan in a
book thingy one year, I cried. I took some of the ideas… well i based some of the happenings in the fic
after them. Oh, and "Concrete Angel" is sung by Martina McBride. It's a song
about a little girl who is abused by her mother. VERY sad… *starts singing* "Somebody
cries in the middle of the night… the neighbors hear but they turn out the light…
a fragile soul caught in the hands of fate… when morning comes it'll be too
late…" *breaks into the chorus*
YumeTakato: you like huggling Yugi, ne? soon he'll
have a restraining order when you got o hug him! ^^
Brodie and Casey: nah, dun worry about
it. I was just kidding. I liked your enthusiasm, actually^^… this is why he was
doing it. It explained it this chap.
Katya Mutou:
I LUV your name!^.^ newayz… if you don't want yugi to kill himself, your in for a SURPRISE…. IM NOT
TELLING!! *runs around all bratty-like* Yugi: 0.0;; your not gonna make me do something dumb and like almost kill myself
for someone else like in ISD, right? Shibby:
^_^ *slinks away*
K Yami Yugi29: thankies!!
Glad you liked it! Im so happy…*tears* newayz im ova it. Joey: YEAH
RIGHT. Shibby: I CAN TORTURE YOU MORE NOW… hehe im a freak
so... plz review!
Shibby-One
