Golden Fire
Chapter 17: Snowy Nights
Kaede studied the Orb as it lay on her hand. "I am glad ye have succeeded in getting this, but what will ye do with it?"
I leaned back on the wall of the hut. "I don't know. The seer didn't tell me how to use it."
"Well, maybe you should have asked," hissed Inuyasha.
I glared at him. "She started fading as soon as the test ended, and I had more important things to ask about." I began trembling again, thinking of the seer's answer to my question. She saw death. Maybe it was Ryu's death that she saw, but I doubted it. There was more to that prophecy.
Kaede held up her hand to silence Inuyasha's comeback. "I am sure Kagome will know how to use it when the time comes."
Inuyasha just crossed his arms and stared off into the corner.
"Stop staring, Inuyasha. It's creeping me out," said Yuki as she moved into the light.
"I didn't even know you were there!" he exclaimed. Then he narrowed his eyes. "How do you do that?"
"Illusions. Playing with light and shadow. Reflections," she answered as she settled herself between Kaede and me. I was studying her intently. She had said more in the last five seconds than she had in the week that it took to get back to the village. I felt a pang of guilt. Ever since the conversation in the forest, Sesshoumaru had blatantly ignored his mate. When we had returned to the village, Rin had run up to him and asked who the 'pretty lady with blue hair' was. He told her that Yuki was no one important, as I watched silently.
Now she was sitting next to me and I found myself wondering what I could say to her to make it all better. I realized that nothing I could say would repair the damage. Sesshoumaru obviously hated her for making him 'weak'. The demon lord himself had disappeared five hours before, as soon as we had reached the village.
I jerked my head up when I realized Kaede and Inuyasha were talking.
"Feh. I say that we go out and find Naraku. Kill him and get it over with." He pouted a bit. "But the others think we should stay here and rest."
"There will be time for battles later. I agree with the others, Inuyasha. Ye need to rest and train." She nodded towards Yuki. "From what Miroku told me, ye need to work a bit with the newfound powers ye have acquired."
Yuki's eyes darkened to a stormy blue. "I have no one to teach me, Lady Kaede. My mate has rejected me, and the wolves do not possess my kind of abilities. It would be like a bird teaching a fish to swim. I need someone who has a blood bond with me. My mother, father or... mate." She sighed. "I shall go and practice on my own. I cannot risk losing my control in battle again." She stood up and went outside.
Miroku and Sango came in a second later. They had so far managed to keep their 'secret', but it wouldn't stay that way if they kept sneaking away together. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Inuyasha sniff the air and frown. If he knew, he'd be saying something. Miroku really wanted to keep this a secret right now, since they obviously went through some trouble to hide the scent of desire. Well, then, my lips were sealed. I had already screwed up one relationship after all.
My eyes darted to Inuyasha. He was staring off into space again, something he'd been doing a lot recently. At night, he'd slip away and I knew it was to see Kikyo. They still met in the forest, away from the others. I wasn't sure if it was shame of being seen, or habit.
Sure enough, as the sun set an hour later, he stood up and left the hut.
"Follow him," whispered Sango.
"What?" I asked incredulously. "So I can see him and Kikyo kiss again? No thank you."
Sango stood up and pushed aside the mat covering Kaede's door. Kikyo was outside, telling a story to the children of the village. "That Kikyo?" she questioned, arching her eyebrow at me.
I was on my feet and out the door in a second.
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I wandered around the forest. Inuyasha hadn't been at the God Tree as usual. That had surprised me, but I continued to look. I reached out in my mind and felt Kouga's shards. Good, I was still not too far from the village. Of course, Inuyasha could be miles away with his speed.
"You're always out looking for me. Why do you do that?"
I smiled and turned to face him. The moonlight was making his hair glow. "Why do you always let me find you?" I shot back with a grin. The simple fact that he wasn't out here with Kikyo made me a very happy woman.
He shrugged. "I guess I'm used to you being around."
"Gee, thanks, Inuyasha." I sat down on a nearby log and dug the toe of my shoe into the frozen ground. "I thought you'd be out here with Kikyo."
"You keep doing that too, wench. Assuming I always want to be with Kikyo."
"Don't you? You have that promise to her and all."
"Yeah, so? I promised to avenge her death."
"And to go to hell with her."
Even in the faint moonlight, I could see him blush. "I'm not going to hell with her, Kagome."
I couldn't speak for a moment. My mouth had gone dry. "You... You aren't?" I croaked. "Why not? Why would you break your promise to the woman you love?"
Inuyasha hung his head so that I couldn't see his eyes. "I can't go with her. I've come to realize that I've paid that part of my debt to her. My life no longer belongs to her. She has betrayed me too much for that."
"She also has helped you," I whispered.
"And that's why I still must kill Naraku in her name," he countered. "But that doesn't mean I owe her my life. I already gave it to her once when I was pinned to that tree, I'm not doing it again."
"Does that mean you want the jewel to become full demon?"
"Feh. I don't know what I want anymore." He buried his head in his hands. "Do you know how many people are pushing at me to make decisions? About... about everything?"
I frowned. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I know that we do place a lot of pressure on you, and that's not fair."
His ears flattened against his head. "Feh. It's okay."
There was a long silence. "Inuyasha? What would you do if you knew you were going to die?"
In a flash, he was by my side. "What're you talking about, Kagome? Did that seer tell you something? You're not going to die for using the Orb, are you?"
"Settle down, Inuyasha. She didn't tell me anything specific. She just said 'rage', 'blood', 'death', and... and 'love'." I began to shake again, as I did every time I thought about this. "The test was telling me that all of my friends would die if I used the Orb. I refused to take it, and that was apparently the correct answer."
"So you don't know anything about the battle," he said, sitting back on his haunches and letting out a long breath.
"Sorry, no." I brushed a hand through my hair and sighed.
"I would spend time with Miroku, Sango, you and even Shippou," he said after a few minutes.
"Huh?"
"Wench, do you ever listen to what you say? You asked what I'd do if I knew I was going to die, and I told you."
I smiled. "Really? That's what you'd do?"
"Feh... You guys accept me like I am. Where else would I go?"
I shrugged. "I dunno, Inuyasha. I assumed that you would want to go and spend the entire time in the God Tree." I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them.
"Hey, wench. Don't think you can get out of answering your own question. What would you do?"
I closed my eyes. "Same as you, pretty much."
"Pretty much?" I opened my eyes to see him smirking at me.
Blushing, I looked down at my feet. "If I were going to die, I would want to know... to know if I'm really just a shard detector to you." I was telling a half-truth. I wanted to know much more than what I asked. I wanted to know what he would say if I told him that I loved him. But I wasn't facing death yet, and so I didn't have that type of courage at the moment.
Hands pulled me to my feet and I found myself looking into golden eyes. "Kagome, you stupid girl," he murmured. "You were never just a shard detector to me. You're my best friend."
He embraced me tightly so that I couldn't help myself from breathing in his scent. I sighed happily into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. "You're my best friend too, Inuyasha." I felt moisture on my cheek and pulled away from the hanyou a little. Looking up, I saw white flakes drifting down onto my eyelashes and into my hair. They melted instantly and left little water droplets all over us. It felt like being covered in diamonds.
His claws brushed through our hair that had become tangled together. "We should get back," he said in a soft voice.
I didn't want this moment to end, but I knew that it was better to go back then get interrupted like we usually did. I tugged on his wrist. "Inuyasha, I have one more question." He tensed up, but turned to look at me anyway, so I continued. "If I die, please, will you take care of my family? Make sure they're safe and they get back to their era?"
"No."
His blunt answer shocked me. "Inuyasha! Please!"
He grabbed my shoulders. "I said no because you aren't going to die. I promise you."
I reached up, grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little. "Thanks, Inuyasha, but you should really concentrate on the battle. After all, Sesshoumaru always has his Tenseiga."
"Feh. I wouldn't trust that creep to help you. No, Kagome. You aren't going to even cross into the spirit world. Not for a second. I won't let you." He pulled away from me and blushed a little. "Come on. Let's get back and you can make me some ramen."
Reaching over, I tweaked his ear and laughed when he gave me a half-hearted growl. "Okay, Inuyasha." I wrapped my arm around his and we walked back to the village.
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The next morning was beautiful and crisp with the cold. I stretched and looked over my sleeping companions. My eyes stopped on Yuki, who was sleeping while leaning against the wall. She rarely slept, like most youkai, so the fact that her eyes were closed and she was breathing evenly was a surprise already. But she also had Rin cradled in her arms. The little girl had a tight grip on her blue hair and leather jacket. I smiled. Rin had evidently found a new mother.
As I stood there, Yuki stirred. She looked surprised at first to find Rin in her arms, but then gave me a genuine smile. "She found me last night. She missed Lord Sesshoumaru and we had a nice talk. He is lucky to have her around."
"She is sweet. How did your training go, Yuki?" I murmured, knowing that she could hear me with her demon ears. A thought struck me. "Did you make it snow last night?"
She gave me another smile and set down Rin on a nearby blanket. Beckoning to me, she went outside. "I didn't make it snow, that was nature, but I did manage to do a lot more than I would've thought possible without a mentor." Yuki seemed to be proud of herself for a moment, but then her face fell. "I'm a stupid, stupid little girl, Kagome. I'm over one hundred years old, and yet I act like a child."
"What're you talking about, Yuki?" A heavy weight settled in my stomach. If this was about what I thought it was about, I'd be making a tearful confession very soon.
We were wandering farther and farther from Kaede's hut. Yuki sighed and hugged herself, even though I knew she didn't feel the cold. "I have been careless and have fallen in love with my Lord Sesshoumaru." She looked at me, and seemed to be amazed at her own words.
My heart sank. So she really did love him, despite all appearances. "How can you love him so soon? You've only known him a few weeks."
"Youkai don't experience emotion like humans. Humans take too long to decide what they feel. Demons know if they're in love much quicker. We have a different definition of love anyway." She frowned. "But this mating, it was supposed to be political. I give him an heir and he removes my family's dishonor. I don't understand what happened."
Trying to put off the inevitable, I muttered, "What do you mean?"
Yuki clenched her jaw briefly. "That night of Kagura's confrontation, he cornered me and told me that my services were no longer necessary. He said he would sooner have Inuyasha inherit the kingdom than any child of mine."
That was a bit harsh. I cringed. "Oh gods. But I thought youkai mated for life." I felt my eyes water.
"We do. Which means that I will either have a long, lonely life tucked away in some corner of his palace... or he'll kill me." She stopped when she noticed tears running down my face. "Kagome? Are you okay?"
I fell to my knees. "Yuki, I'm so sorry! Sesshoumaru and I talked that night and I implied that he had fallen in love with you! And... and..." I couldn't bring myself to finish.
Yuki knelt in front of me. "And he took it to mean that he had become weak with emotion," she finished in a deadpan tone. I just nodded as she stood up and sighed. "Get up, Kagome. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not angry, but you had good intentions. It was foolish for me to fall in love with him, perhaps this will erase those feelings."
"You're going to just let him go? You want to fall out of love? Why don't you..." I caught sight of her face and stopped.
She was glaring at me. "Kagome, I shall deal with this myself. Remember that I am a demon. We do not feel as humans feel." She sighed and put her hand to her forehead. "I'm going to go back and take care of Rin. Sesshoumaru seems to have forgotten about her as well."
Yuki was gone before I could say anything else.
Chapter 17: Snowy Nights
Kaede studied the Orb as it lay on her hand. "I am glad ye have succeeded in getting this, but what will ye do with it?"
I leaned back on the wall of the hut. "I don't know. The seer didn't tell me how to use it."
"Well, maybe you should have asked," hissed Inuyasha.
I glared at him. "She started fading as soon as the test ended, and I had more important things to ask about." I began trembling again, thinking of the seer's answer to my question. She saw death. Maybe it was Ryu's death that she saw, but I doubted it. There was more to that prophecy.
Kaede held up her hand to silence Inuyasha's comeback. "I am sure Kagome will know how to use it when the time comes."
Inuyasha just crossed his arms and stared off into the corner.
"Stop staring, Inuyasha. It's creeping me out," said Yuki as she moved into the light.
"I didn't even know you were there!" he exclaimed. Then he narrowed his eyes. "How do you do that?"
"Illusions. Playing with light and shadow. Reflections," she answered as she settled herself between Kaede and me. I was studying her intently. She had said more in the last five seconds than she had in the week that it took to get back to the village. I felt a pang of guilt. Ever since the conversation in the forest, Sesshoumaru had blatantly ignored his mate. When we had returned to the village, Rin had run up to him and asked who the 'pretty lady with blue hair' was. He told her that Yuki was no one important, as I watched silently.
Now she was sitting next to me and I found myself wondering what I could say to her to make it all better. I realized that nothing I could say would repair the damage. Sesshoumaru obviously hated her for making him 'weak'. The demon lord himself had disappeared five hours before, as soon as we had reached the village.
I jerked my head up when I realized Kaede and Inuyasha were talking.
"Feh. I say that we go out and find Naraku. Kill him and get it over with." He pouted a bit. "But the others think we should stay here and rest."
"There will be time for battles later. I agree with the others, Inuyasha. Ye need to rest and train." She nodded towards Yuki. "From what Miroku told me, ye need to work a bit with the newfound powers ye have acquired."
Yuki's eyes darkened to a stormy blue. "I have no one to teach me, Lady Kaede. My mate has rejected me, and the wolves do not possess my kind of abilities. It would be like a bird teaching a fish to swim. I need someone who has a blood bond with me. My mother, father or... mate." She sighed. "I shall go and practice on my own. I cannot risk losing my control in battle again." She stood up and went outside.
Miroku and Sango came in a second later. They had so far managed to keep their 'secret', but it wouldn't stay that way if they kept sneaking away together. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Inuyasha sniff the air and frown. If he knew, he'd be saying something. Miroku really wanted to keep this a secret right now, since they obviously went through some trouble to hide the scent of desire. Well, then, my lips were sealed. I had already screwed up one relationship after all.
My eyes darted to Inuyasha. He was staring off into space again, something he'd been doing a lot recently. At night, he'd slip away and I knew it was to see Kikyo. They still met in the forest, away from the others. I wasn't sure if it was shame of being seen, or habit.
Sure enough, as the sun set an hour later, he stood up and left the hut.
"Follow him," whispered Sango.
"What?" I asked incredulously. "So I can see him and Kikyo kiss again? No thank you."
Sango stood up and pushed aside the mat covering Kaede's door. Kikyo was outside, telling a story to the children of the village. "That Kikyo?" she questioned, arching her eyebrow at me.
I was on my feet and out the door in a second.
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I wandered around the forest. Inuyasha hadn't been at the God Tree as usual. That had surprised me, but I continued to look. I reached out in my mind and felt Kouga's shards. Good, I was still not too far from the village. Of course, Inuyasha could be miles away with his speed.
"You're always out looking for me. Why do you do that?"
I smiled and turned to face him. The moonlight was making his hair glow. "Why do you always let me find you?" I shot back with a grin. The simple fact that he wasn't out here with Kikyo made me a very happy woman.
He shrugged. "I guess I'm used to you being around."
"Gee, thanks, Inuyasha." I sat down on a nearby log and dug the toe of my shoe into the frozen ground. "I thought you'd be out here with Kikyo."
"You keep doing that too, wench. Assuming I always want to be with Kikyo."
"Don't you? You have that promise to her and all."
"Yeah, so? I promised to avenge her death."
"And to go to hell with her."
Even in the faint moonlight, I could see him blush. "I'm not going to hell with her, Kagome."
I couldn't speak for a moment. My mouth had gone dry. "You... You aren't?" I croaked. "Why not? Why would you break your promise to the woman you love?"
Inuyasha hung his head so that I couldn't see his eyes. "I can't go with her. I've come to realize that I've paid that part of my debt to her. My life no longer belongs to her. She has betrayed me too much for that."
"She also has helped you," I whispered.
"And that's why I still must kill Naraku in her name," he countered. "But that doesn't mean I owe her my life. I already gave it to her once when I was pinned to that tree, I'm not doing it again."
"Does that mean you want the jewel to become full demon?"
"Feh. I don't know what I want anymore." He buried his head in his hands. "Do you know how many people are pushing at me to make decisions? About... about everything?"
I frowned. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I know that we do place a lot of pressure on you, and that's not fair."
His ears flattened against his head. "Feh. It's okay."
There was a long silence. "Inuyasha? What would you do if you knew you were going to die?"
In a flash, he was by my side. "What're you talking about, Kagome? Did that seer tell you something? You're not going to die for using the Orb, are you?"
"Settle down, Inuyasha. She didn't tell me anything specific. She just said 'rage', 'blood', 'death', and... and 'love'." I began to shake again, as I did every time I thought about this. "The test was telling me that all of my friends would die if I used the Orb. I refused to take it, and that was apparently the correct answer."
"So you don't know anything about the battle," he said, sitting back on his haunches and letting out a long breath.
"Sorry, no." I brushed a hand through my hair and sighed.
"I would spend time with Miroku, Sango, you and even Shippou," he said after a few minutes.
"Huh?"
"Wench, do you ever listen to what you say? You asked what I'd do if I knew I was going to die, and I told you."
I smiled. "Really? That's what you'd do?"
"Feh... You guys accept me like I am. Where else would I go?"
I shrugged. "I dunno, Inuyasha. I assumed that you would want to go and spend the entire time in the God Tree." I hugged my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them.
"Hey, wench. Don't think you can get out of answering your own question. What would you do?"
I closed my eyes. "Same as you, pretty much."
"Pretty much?" I opened my eyes to see him smirking at me.
Blushing, I looked down at my feet. "If I were going to die, I would want to know... to know if I'm really just a shard detector to you." I was telling a half-truth. I wanted to know much more than what I asked. I wanted to know what he would say if I told him that I loved him. But I wasn't facing death yet, and so I didn't have that type of courage at the moment.
Hands pulled me to my feet and I found myself looking into golden eyes. "Kagome, you stupid girl," he murmured. "You were never just a shard detector to me. You're my best friend."
He embraced me tightly so that I couldn't help myself from breathing in his scent. I sighed happily into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. "You're my best friend too, Inuyasha." I felt moisture on my cheek and pulled away from the hanyou a little. Looking up, I saw white flakes drifting down onto my eyelashes and into my hair. They melted instantly and left little water droplets all over us. It felt like being covered in diamonds.
His claws brushed through our hair that had become tangled together. "We should get back," he said in a soft voice.
I didn't want this moment to end, but I knew that it was better to go back then get interrupted like we usually did. I tugged on his wrist. "Inuyasha, I have one more question." He tensed up, but turned to look at me anyway, so I continued. "If I die, please, will you take care of my family? Make sure they're safe and they get back to their era?"
"No."
His blunt answer shocked me. "Inuyasha! Please!"
He grabbed my shoulders. "I said no because you aren't going to die. I promise you."
I reached up, grabbed his hand and squeezed it a little. "Thanks, Inuyasha, but you should really concentrate on the battle. After all, Sesshoumaru always has his Tenseiga."
"Feh. I wouldn't trust that creep to help you. No, Kagome. You aren't going to even cross into the spirit world. Not for a second. I won't let you." He pulled away from me and blushed a little. "Come on. Let's get back and you can make me some ramen."
Reaching over, I tweaked his ear and laughed when he gave me a half-hearted growl. "Okay, Inuyasha." I wrapped my arm around his and we walked back to the village.
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The next morning was beautiful and crisp with the cold. I stretched and looked over my sleeping companions. My eyes stopped on Yuki, who was sleeping while leaning against the wall. She rarely slept, like most youkai, so the fact that her eyes were closed and she was breathing evenly was a surprise already. But she also had Rin cradled in her arms. The little girl had a tight grip on her blue hair and leather jacket. I smiled. Rin had evidently found a new mother.
As I stood there, Yuki stirred. She looked surprised at first to find Rin in her arms, but then gave me a genuine smile. "She found me last night. She missed Lord Sesshoumaru and we had a nice talk. He is lucky to have her around."
"She is sweet. How did your training go, Yuki?" I murmured, knowing that she could hear me with her demon ears. A thought struck me. "Did you make it snow last night?"
She gave me another smile and set down Rin on a nearby blanket. Beckoning to me, she went outside. "I didn't make it snow, that was nature, but I did manage to do a lot more than I would've thought possible without a mentor." Yuki seemed to be proud of herself for a moment, but then her face fell. "I'm a stupid, stupid little girl, Kagome. I'm over one hundred years old, and yet I act like a child."
"What're you talking about, Yuki?" A heavy weight settled in my stomach. If this was about what I thought it was about, I'd be making a tearful confession very soon.
We were wandering farther and farther from Kaede's hut. Yuki sighed and hugged herself, even though I knew she didn't feel the cold. "I have been careless and have fallen in love with my Lord Sesshoumaru." She looked at me, and seemed to be amazed at her own words.
My heart sank. So she really did love him, despite all appearances. "How can you love him so soon? You've only known him a few weeks."
"Youkai don't experience emotion like humans. Humans take too long to decide what they feel. Demons know if they're in love much quicker. We have a different definition of love anyway." She frowned. "But this mating, it was supposed to be political. I give him an heir and he removes my family's dishonor. I don't understand what happened."
Trying to put off the inevitable, I muttered, "What do you mean?"
Yuki clenched her jaw briefly. "That night of Kagura's confrontation, he cornered me and told me that my services were no longer necessary. He said he would sooner have Inuyasha inherit the kingdom than any child of mine."
That was a bit harsh. I cringed. "Oh gods. But I thought youkai mated for life." I felt my eyes water.
"We do. Which means that I will either have a long, lonely life tucked away in some corner of his palace... or he'll kill me." She stopped when she noticed tears running down my face. "Kagome? Are you okay?"
I fell to my knees. "Yuki, I'm so sorry! Sesshoumaru and I talked that night and I implied that he had fallen in love with you! And... and..." I couldn't bring myself to finish.
Yuki knelt in front of me. "And he took it to mean that he had become weak with emotion," she finished in a deadpan tone. I just nodded as she stood up and sighed. "Get up, Kagome. I'm not going to lie and say I'm not angry, but you had good intentions. It was foolish for me to fall in love with him, perhaps this will erase those feelings."
"You're going to just let him go? You want to fall out of love? Why don't you..." I caught sight of her face and stopped.
She was glaring at me. "Kagome, I shall deal with this myself. Remember that I am a demon. We do not feel as humans feel." She sighed and put her hand to her forehead. "I'm going to go back and take care of Rin. Sesshoumaru seems to have forgotten about her as well."
Yuki was gone before I could say anything else.
