Disclaimer – do I really have to repeat myself again – I own nothing, I
never will! No matter how much I beg!
A/N: Once again I must say I love you all, especially the people who have taken the time to review – you brighten my day and feed my muse – she's such a sickly little thing and needs all the food she can get! This Part takes place sometime after angel has returned. It's before lovers walk but after revelations – in terms of timing anyway! Well enough chitchat – on with the story!
Oooh! Before I forget, the song in this chapter is Angel by Ghost of the robot – it's for the lyrics I swear!!!
Chapter 5: Pondering about angels
1471.
1472.
1473.
Buffy stared at the ceiling above her bed, twirling a stake in her hands, trying to stave off the 1474th temptation to pick up the phone or to reach for the special black paper and silver pen she used to write to Spike.
*He deserves to know!* Commented the logical part of her brain that she had affectionately named Giles. *And if you don't tell him he'll find out somehow! You know he will!*
*Well if he finds out on his own I wont have to tell him!* replied the 'Xander' section of her brain, eager to avoid the inevitable fall out that would follow the revelation.
*But don't you think it'll hurt him if he finds out that you knew and didn't tell him?* The considerate 'Willow' lobe pointed out.
Buffy grabbed a pillow, covered her face and screamed. How the hell had this happened? She had found out that Angel had miraculously returned from whatever hell dimension he had been sent to nearly a month ago – and she hadn't spoken to Spike since. She was desperate to talk to one of her best friends about this sudden turn of events, to confide in Spike, to tell him how she felt about all of this, like she had done so many times over the summer! He always helped her make sense of what was going on in her head – he'd had over a century of trying make sense of a mad woman's ramblings after all! And his own thought processes weren't exactly always logical. He was forever going off on some weird tangent...kinda like she was doing right now! Unfortunately, she had a feeling that this was the one thing she couldn't talk to Spike about.
How could she explain to the man who had been torn apart by the loss of his love that hers had returned...yet Drusilla was still gone? It would destroy him all over again!
She knew she would have to speak to him again soon...but not before she had worked out exactly what to say to him.
"Oh hey Spike," She said out loud – testing out ideas. "Oh I'm fine, I miss you too! Oh by the way the love of my life is back fresh from hell! What? Dru? No. No sign of her but let me rub my happiness in your face!" She snorted "Yeah that'll work!"
She knew it was unfair to just disappear without a word. She'd gotten a letter from him just this morning asking if everything was ok, wondering why he hadn't heard from her in so long – well other than a couple of voice mails left on his cell phone when she knew he would be sleeping. She could handle talking to a machine, but she knew she would crumble the second she heard his voice and spill the whole sorry story. What would it do to him to hear that kind of thing over the phone or to read it in a letter when there would be no one there to comfort him? She had considered going up to LA to talk to him face to face, but that would be hard to do – her mom and the scoobies were still reluctant to let her go too far on her own due to residual fear of her running off again...well that and her covering up about Angel's reappearance in the first place! She couldn't see it going down too well with either party if she took one or more of the scoobies to go see William the bloody – he had tried to kill them all a few times after all!
Buffy suppressed another scream. Life had been so much simpler when it was Slayer + stake + vampire = vampire dust! Why had soulful vampire lovers and former mortal enemy turned unwilling ally turned best friend been added to what had once been a very uncomplicated equation? She hated math!
"Just bloody well get it over with!" she chastised her self, unwittingly borrowing one of Spikes favourite phrases - that's what three months together with an Englishman will do to you! (A/N: yes I can say this because I'm English!) Picking up the phone beside her bed, Buffy dialled the number she now knew off by heart and hoped Spike would answer soon before she lost her nerve! ...
The patrons in Caritas sat transfixed, staring at the stage. They all knew the vampire by reputation of course! Who hadn't heard of Spike aka William the Bloody? But none of them had ever heard him sing before...and they'd definitely never seen him play the guitar! The strong, melodic voice that filled the bar was unhindered by the drunken state of the vampire that provided it.
// She comes home to me after a hard night's work//
//Falls in my arms and sleeps like a bird//
//Startle, wakes up, like she don't know me//
//Cocks back her fist like she's going to slug me//
//Like, who are you anyway//
//And what are you doing to me?//
Spike smiled at his own turn of phrase. He and the slayer had woken up like that many times in the early days – both of them falling asleep only to forget where they were in the morning! Spike's voice may have been strong, but internally he felt like a mess. It had been nearly a month since he'd been able to speak to the slayer, a month of endless nightmares, another month where he couldn't be bothered to kill anything. And it scared him senseless – he was William the Bloody – Slayer of Slayers, part of a quartet of vampires known as the Scourge of Europe! Now he was falling apart because one small girl wasn't there to help him pick up the pieces anymore!
// She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//She's got wings,//
//But she can't feel 'em//
//She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//But she's flying above me every day//
//Every day of my life//
On some level Spike knew that it was probably a good thing that the slayer seemed to be distancing herself from him. After all, she was the SLAYER for crying out loud! He was supposed to kill her, not sulk because she wasn't there to hold his hand! When had unlife gotten so complicated?
//Bright diamond eyes with daggers beneath them//
//She carries the chains of a million decisions//
//That weren't even hers to begin with anyway//
//But she carries them all//
//All the people around her//
//Never even notice that she's very very tired//
As Spike sang, he continued to think about the slayer – he needn't concentrate on the song – he wrote it, he knew it by heart! He realised that it wasn't just the comforting presence he missed. He missed being needed, he missed having her turn to him when she needed to talk about things, he missed the three hour phone calls he would get from her just after he had bought the cell phone, when she would tell him all the little things that she couldn't tell the scoobies. He liked being the one she told all her troubles to.
// She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//She's got wings,//
//But she can't feel 'em//
//She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//But she's flying above me every day//
//Every day of my life//
With a flourish, Spike finished his song and jumped from the stage, heading right for the bar – he felt a desperate need to get very wasted tonight.
"Fan of irony aren't you?" asked a voice from his left, just as he was about to down the blood and vodka he'd just ordered. Turning to face the voice, he saw a green skinned demon with little red horns peering at him intently.
With his 120 plus years of experience, rapier wit and three figure IQ, Spike replied with the most intelligent answer he could come up with. "Huh?"
The demon laughed. "She's an Angel? It's just funny on so many levels! And that line about slugging you? An absolute classic!"
Spike nodded cautiously. Sure he'd written the song about the slayer before she had headed back to Sunnydale while he had been trying to work out why the hell he didn't want to kill her anymore...What he didn't get was how this guy knew that!
"I can read your aura while you sing sweetie!" The demon said, as if answering his unspoken question. Spike's eyebrow shot up about an inch before surprise was replaced by his trademark smirk.
"And what is my aura tellin' ya then mate?" he asked, curious.
"She's got something to tell you, something important." The demon replied, all hint of humour vanishing from his voice. "The kind of thing you should probably hear in person. Get my point?"
Spike stared at this unusual creature a few seconds more. Panic washing through him at the thought that something could be desperately wrong with his slayer.
*Since when had she become 'my' slayer?* the drunk part of his mind asked.
The sober part of his brain, the part that was currently flooded with panic replied *Since she put you back together when you were happy to take a daylight stroll wanker!*
Without another glance at the demon and without paying for his drink, now left untouched on the bar, Spike fled the club and to his DeSoto, desperate to be in Sunnydale as quickly as possible, not hearing the quiet ringing of the cell phone in his duster pocket.
A/N: I know Spike didn't write that song, But JM did and he is Spike so I reckon its ok to say that Spike wrote it – and come on – it totally fits!!!! Or I might be delusional - I haven't decided yet! Thanks for reading and reviewing – updates soon! Next chapter – the friends reunited! Well I'm excited anyway!!!
A/N: Once again I must say I love you all, especially the people who have taken the time to review – you brighten my day and feed my muse – she's such a sickly little thing and needs all the food she can get! This Part takes place sometime after angel has returned. It's before lovers walk but after revelations – in terms of timing anyway! Well enough chitchat – on with the story!
Oooh! Before I forget, the song in this chapter is Angel by Ghost of the robot – it's for the lyrics I swear!!!
Chapter 5: Pondering about angels
1471.
1472.
1473.
Buffy stared at the ceiling above her bed, twirling a stake in her hands, trying to stave off the 1474th temptation to pick up the phone or to reach for the special black paper and silver pen she used to write to Spike.
*He deserves to know!* Commented the logical part of her brain that she had affectionately named Giles. *And if you don't tell him he'll find out somehow! You know he will!*
*Well if he finds out on his own I wont have to tell him!* replied the 'Xander' section of her brain, eager to avoid the inevitable fall out that would follow the revelation.
*But don't you think it'll hurt him if he finds out that you knew and didn't tell him?* The considerate 'Willow' lobe pointed out.
Buffy grabbed a pillow, covered her face and screamed. How the hell had this happened? She had found out that Angel had miraculously returned from whatever hell dimension he had been sent to nearly a month ago – and she hadn't spoken to Spike since. She was desperate to talk to one of her best friends about this sudden turn of events, to confide in Spike, to tell him how she felt about all of this, like she had done so many times over the summer! He always helped her make sense of what was going on in her head – he'd had over a century of trying make sense of a mad woman's ramblings after all! And his own thought processes weren't exactly always logical. He was forever going off on some weird tangent...kinda like she was doing right now! Unfortunately, she had a feeling that this was the one thing she couldn't talk to Spike about.
How could she explain to the man who had been torn apart by the loss of his love that hers had returned...yet Drusilla was still gone? It would destroy him all over again!
She knew she would have to speak to him again soon...but not before she had worked out exactly what to say to him.
"Oh hey Spike," She said out loud – testing out ideas. "Oh I'm fine, I miss you too! Oh by the way the love of my life is back fresh from hell! What? Dru? No. No sign of her but let me rub my happiness in your face!" She snorted "Yeah that'll work!"
She knew it was unfair to just disappear without a word. She'd gotten a letter from him just this morning asking if everything was ok, wondering why he hadn't heard from her in so long – well other than a couple of voice mails left on his cell phone when she knew he would be sleeping. She could handle talking to a machine, but she knew she would crumble the second she heard his voice and spill the whole sorry story. What would it do to him to hear that kind of thing over the phone or to read it in a letter when there would be no one there to comfort him? She had considered going up to LA to talk to him face to face, but that would be hard to do – her mom and the scoobies were still reluctant to let her go too far on her own due to residual fear of her running off again...well that and her covering up about Angel's reappearance in the first place! She couldn't see it going down too well with either party if she took one or more of the scoobies to go see William the bloody – he had tried to kill them all a few times after all!
Buffy suppressed another scream. Life had been so much simpler when it was Slayer + stake + vampire = vampire dust! Why had soulful vampire lovers and former mortal enemy turned unwilling ally turned best friend been added to what had once been a very uncomplicated equation? She hated math!
"Just bloody well get it over with!" she chastised her self, unwittingly borrowing one of Spikes favourite phrases - that's what three months together with an Englishman will do to you! (A/N: yes I can say this because I'm English!) Picking up the phone beside her bed, Buffy dialled the number she now knew off by heart and hoped Spike would answer soon before she lost her nerve! ...
The patrons in Caritas sat transfixed, staring at the stage. They all knew the vampire by reputation of course! Who hadn't heard of Spike aka William the Bloody? But none of them had ever heard him sing before...and they'd definitely never seen him play the guitar! The strong, melodic voice that filled the bar was unhindered by the drunken state of the vampire that provided it.
// She comes home to me after a hard night's work//
//Falls in my arms and sleeps like a bird//
//Startle, wakes up, like she don't know me//
//Cocks back her fist like she's going to slug me//
//Like, who are you anyway//
//And what are you doing to me?//
Spike smiled at his own turn of phrase. He and the slayer had woken up like that many times in the early days – both of them falling asleep only to forget where they were in the morning! Spike's voice may have been strong, but internally he felt like a mess. It had been nearly a month since he'd been able to speak to the slayer, a month of endless nightmares, another month where he couldn't be bothered to kill anything. And it scared him senseless – he was William the Bloody – Slayer of Slayers, part of a quartet of vampires known as the Scourge of Europe! Now he was falling apart because one small girl wasn't there to help him pick up the pieces anymore!
// She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//She's got wings,//
//But she can't feel 'em//
//She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//But she's flying above me every day//
//Every day of my life//
On some level Spike knew that it was probably a good thing that the slayer seemed to be distancing herself from him. After all, she was the SLAYER for crying out loud! He was supposed to kill her, not sulk because she wasn't there to hold his hand! When had unlife gotten so complicated?
//Bright diamond eyes with daggers beneath them//
//She carries the chains of a million decisions//
//That weren't even hers to begin with anyway//
//But she carries them all//
//All the people around her//
//Never even notice that she's very very tired//
As Spike sang, he continued to think about the slayer – he needn't concentrate on the song – he wrote it, he knew it by heart! He realised that it wasn't just the comforting presence he missed. He missed being needed, he missed having her turn to him when she needed to talk about things, he missed the three hour phone calls he would get from her just after he had bought the cell phone, when she would tell him all the little things that she couldn't tell the scoobies. He liked being the one she told all her troubles to.
// She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//She's got wings,//
//But she can't feel 'em//
//She's an angel//
//But she can't see it//
//But she's flying above me every day//
//Every day of my life//
With a flourish, Spike finished his song and jumped from the stage, heading right for the bar – he felt a desperate need to get very wasted tonight.
"Fan of irony aren't you?" asked a voice from his left, just as he was about to down the blood and vodka he'd just ordered. Turning to face the voice, he saw a green skinned demon with little red horns peering at him intently.
With his 120 plus years of experience, rapier wit and three figure IQ, Spike replied with the most intelligent answer he could come up with. "Huh?"
The demon laughed. "She's an Angel? It's just funny on so many levels! And that line about slugging you? An absolute classic!"
Spike nodded cautiously. Sure he'd written the song about the slayer before she had headed back to Sunnydale while he had been trying to work out why the hell he didn't want to kill her anymore...What he didn't get was how this guy knew that!
"I can read your aura while you sing sweetie!" The demon said, as if answering his unspoken question. Spike's eyebrow shot up about an inch before surprise was replaced by his trademark smirk.
"And what is my aura tellin' ya then mate?" he asked, curious.
"She's got something to tell you, something important." The demon replied, all hint of humour vanishing from his voice. "The kind of thing you should probably hear in person. Get my point?"
Spike stared at this unusual creature a few seconds more. Panic washing through him at the thought that something could be desperately wrong with his slayer.
*Since when had she become 'my' slayer?* the drunk part of his mind asked.
The sober part of his brain, the part that was currently flooded with panic replied *Since she put you back together when you were happy to take a daylight stroll wanker!*
Without another glance at the demon and without paying for his drink, now left untouched on the bar, Spike fled the club and to his DeSoto, desperate to be in Sunnydale as quickly as possible, not hearing the quiet ringing of the cell phone in his duster pocket.
A/N: I know Spike didn't write that song, But JM did and he is Spike so I reckon its ok to say that Spike wrote it – and come on – it totally fits!!!! Or I might be delusional - I haven't decided yet! Thanks for reading and reviewing – updates soon! Next chapter – the friends reunited! Well I'm excited anyway!!!
