Disclaimer: Not mine. If I owned Spike...well I'd be a much happier person!
A/N: I just couldn't leave that last chapter hanging – it was too painful for me! What can I say? I don't like Spike being miserable! Thanks for the reviews, the response to this story has been brilliant and I want you all to know I appreciate the support. The song in this chapter is where will you go by Evanescence, incidentally one of my all time favourite songs! This is directly after the end of the last chapter. Well on with the show...
Chapter 7: Diverging paths
Spike was sure the tears were going to fall any second now, and he wasn't particularly inclined to stop them. As he ran as fast as his vampire speed would allow back to the factory and his car he wondered what the main reason was for his distress, there seemed to be so many. Angel, the poof, the eternal pain in his ass, the one creature he loathed with all his being, the man who seemed to take everything from him – dignity, Drusilla, power...the slayer, was back from the hell Spike truly felt he deserved. His dark goddess was not, and if Spike were honest with himself she probably never would be. The Slayer knew all of this and hadn't told him. Logically he reasoned, she probably found out around the time he had stopped hearing from her, meaning she had known for a month. That's probably why she had suddenly cut herself off – the love of her life was back and she wanted to forget about the substitute vampire in her life. True he and Buffy had never been more than friends; both of them still too wrapped up in their grief to even consider anything else, but he thought he was at least important enough to her not to be cast aside so easily. Obviously he was wrong...and it hurt like hell!
Spike didn't stop running until his hand was on the door handle of the DeSoto. He was about to yank it open and get the hell out of town, to crawl back under his rock like Peaches had suggested, when he felt an iron grip on his arm spin him around and slam him against the car. Before he could blink he found him self with his arms full of weeping slayer.
"Oh Spike...please...I'm sorry, so sorry...never meant...didn't want to hurt you...was so scared...so sorry...please don't hate me..." Her words trailed off into incoherent sobs as she clutched him tightly, as if afraid he would vanish if she let go.
Spike was stunned to say the least. He felt some of the anger he had been building against the petit blond huddled in his arms begin to dissipate. He could never stand to see her cry!
"Here now pet, hush. Come on luv, talk to me." He said gently, trying to calm her down. She pulled back slightly to look up at him with wet eyes. Tears ran silently down her cheeks still, but her sobs had stopped.
"You're not mad?" she asked cautiously in a small voice that sounded so strange coming from the usually strong and self-assured slayer.
Spike sighed. "I'm not mad slayer. I'm hurt but I'm not mad."
"Hurt's worse right?" she asked dejectedly. "I am sorry Spike. I really was going to tell you! I was! But I didn't know how to say it and I didn't want to tell you over the phone 'cause I knew how upset you'd be and I couldn't get up to LA to come see you and..."
"Slayer calm down." He said smiling slightly in spite of the emotional blows he had received only half an hour ago. "Take a breath!"
Buffy smiled weakly. "I really am sorry Spike."
"I know pet, I know." He told her before pulling her into a gentle hug, reassuring her that they were fine, that he didn't hold it against her.
After several minutes spent in comfortable silence they pulled apart and Buffy moved to lean against the Desoto. "So what now?"
"Now," said Spike, moving to stand beside her "I head back to LA and you go back to your mum and Peaches, assuming they're both still alive since I get the feeling she doesn't like him too much, and you tell them the bad, naughty vampire ran away."
Buffy smiled at his assessment of her mother's feelings towards Angel. "You don't have to-"
She was cut off by Spike. "Yes I do have to slayer! You have your whole life here and me being around just complicates things. I think your friends would stake me as soon as look at me for one thing!"
Buffy knew he was right but still felt the need to protest. "My mom likes you!"
Spike smiled and shook his head. "And I like your mum, she makes great cocoa. But it's not enough slayer. I can't be in this place, not yet...still too many painful memories for me here." Buffy nodded, seeing the sense in what he said. It didn't make her any less miserable about it though. "Besides," he added "I think it's pretty clear that you're doing ok for yourself here without me, where as I'm still having trouble. I need to get used to being on my own again. I can't keep relying on other people to put me back together. You helped me, you really did! But I have to do the rest alone slayer, if I stick around I'll always have the temptation of running to you."
"I like it when you run to me." It was a simple truth and neither of them disputed it.
Spike smiled. "I'm not gonna vanish of the face of the earth slayer. You can still call or write if you need me. I'll always be there for you."
"Promise?" She asked, feeling a fresh wave of tears threatening to break free
"Promise." He said gently, leading forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. Once again they stood in comfortable silence for a minute or so, before Spike reluctantly said that it was time he got going if he was to get back to LA before sunrise.
"Ohhh let me give you your Christmas present first!" said Buffy excitedly, pulling the hastily wrapped box from her coat pocket and handing it to him.
Spike unwrapped it, marvelling at the first Christmas present he had received in over a century. When he saw what was in the tiny box however, he burst out laughing.
"No need to make fun!" pouted Buffy; put out that he didn't like it.
"No, no, it's not that Slayer I love it it's just...here!" Spike reassured her, taking a similar small box out of his duster pocket and handing it to her. Buffy opened it, a puzzled frown on her face. Until she saw what was inside and burst out laughing herself...
//You're too important for anyone//
//You play the role of all you want to be//
//But I, I know who you really are//
//You're the one who cries when you're alone//
Buffy lay on her bed, hugging Mr Gordo, listening to the song filtering out of her radio alarm clock, thinking of her best friend. She knew he had been putting on a front when he had told her that he would be fine alone, that she needn't worry about him falling apart. She would have been comforted if she didn't know him well enough to see when he was lying.
//But where will you go//
//With no one left to save you from yourself//
//You can't escape//
//You can't escape//
She looked at the clock. She'd give it until tomorrow, then she'd call...just to make sure.
//You think that I can't see right through your eyes//
//Scared to death to face reality//
//No one seems to hear your hidden cries//
//You're left to face yourself alone//
Spike drummed his fingers on the hood of his car, idly tapping out the beat of the song filtering from the radio. He smiled when he looked at his hand, seeing the silver ring that now lay there sparkling under the artificial lights of the gas station. Placing the gas hose back in place, he took the ring off his finger to study it. It was a simple thing, just three bands of silver woven together, but it was the inscription inside that made him smile. 'My best friend, with love, Buffy'.
//I realize you're afraid//
//But you can't abandon everyone//
//You can't escape//
//You don't want to escape//
He knew Buffy was worried about him. He knew that she wouldn't have objected if he had decided to stay in Sunnyhell...but he couldn't do that to her. She needed to concentrate on her own life, on those people who needed her protection. She didn't need to worry about a Master vampire who should be perfectly capable of looking after himself! He'd be fine. If not for himself, he be fine so that she wouldn't worry.
//I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands//
//Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone//
//I can hear you in a whisper//
//But you can't even hear me screaming//
Buffy felt like beating the crap out of something as she left the mansion after another conversation with Angel that had resolved absolutely nothing! It felt as if he were treating her like a child, not the slayer. Ranting at her about 'letting a dangerous creature like Spike go free'. She was seething; wishing she could make him see how much Spike had changed without sending him off the deep end. As much as she loved Angel, as much as she wished they could be together, he could be such a wanker! As she walked quickly back to her house Buffy played with the ring on her hand - three simple bands of silver woven together - taking it off to read the inscription one more time: 'My best friend, with love, Spike'. She smiled, wondering if he would be awake when she got back so she could call him...
A/N: Cheesy I know but I couldn't resist! Thank you for reading, but don't worry, I'm no where near finished with this little story! Please let me know what you think – it stops me from leaving horrible cliffhangers...sometimes. Love you all!!!
A/N: I just couldn't leave that last chapter hanging – it was too painful for me! What can I say? I don't like Spike being miserable! Thanks for the reviews, the response to this story has been brilliant and I want you all to know I appreciate the support. The song in this chapter is where will you go by Evanescence, incidentally one of my all time favourite songs! This is directly after the end of the last chapter. Well on with the show...
Chapter 7: Diverging paths
Spike was sure the tears were going to fall any second now, and he wasn't particularly inclined to stop them. As he ran as fast as his vampire speed would allow back to the factory and his car he wondered what the main reason was for his distress, there seemed to be so many. Angel, the poof, the eternal pain in his ass, the one creature he loathed with all his being, the man who seemed to take everything from him – dignity, Drusilla, power...the slayer, was back from the hell Spike truly felt he deserved. His dark goddess was not, and if Spike were honest with himself she probably never would be. The Slayer knew all of this and hadn't told him. Logically he reasoned, she probably found out around the time he had stopped hearing from her, meaning she had known for a month. That's probably why she had suddenly cut herself off – the love of her life was back and she wanted to forget about the substitute vampire in her life. True he and Buffy had never been more than friends; both of them still too wrapped up in their grief to even consider anything else, but he thought he was at least important enough to her not to be cast aside so easily. Obviously he was wrong...and it hurt like hell!
Spike didn't stop running until his hand was on the door handle of the DeSoto. He was about to yank it open and get the hell out of town, to crawl back under his rock like Peaches had suggested, when he felt an iron grip on his arm spin him around and slam him against the car. Before he could blink he found him self with his arms full of weeping slayer.
"Oh Spike...please...I'm sorry, so sorry...never meant...didn't want to hurt you...was so scared...so sorry...please don't hate me..." Her words trailed off into incoherent sobs as she clutched him tightly, as if afraid he would vanish if she let go.
Spike was stunned to say the least. He felt some of the anger he had been building against the petit blond huddled in his arms begin to dissipate. He could never stand to see her cry!
"Here now pet, hush. Come on luv, talk to me." He said gently, trying to calm her down. She pulled back slightly to look up at him with wet eyes. Tears ran silently down her cheeks still, but her sobs had stopped.
"You're not mad?" she asked cautiously in a small voice that sounded so strange coming from the usually strong and self-assured slayer.
Spike sighed. "I'm not mad slayer. I'm hurt but I'm not mad."
"Hurt's worse right?" she asked dejectedly. "I am sorry Spike. I really was going to tell you! I was! But I didn't know how to say it and I didn't want to tell you over the phone 'cause I knew how upset you'd be and I couldn't get up to LA to come see you and..."
"Slayer calm down." He said smiling slightly in spite of the emotional blows he had received only half an hour ago. "Take a breath!"
Buffy smiled weakly. "I really am sorry Spike."
"I know pet, I know." He told her before pulling her into a gentle hug, reassuring her that they were fine, that he didn't hold it against her.
After several minutes spent in comfortable silence they pulled apart and Buffy moved to lean against the Desoto. "So what now?"
"Now," said Spike, moving to stand beside her "I head back to LA and you go back to your mum and Peaches, assuming they're both still alive since I get the feeling she doesn't like him too much, and you tell them the bad, naughty vampire ran away."
Buffy smiled at his assessment of her mother's feelings towards Angel. "You don't have to-"
She was cut off by Spike. "Yes I do have to slayer! You have your whole life here and me being around just complicates things. I think your friends would stake me as soon as look at me for one thing!"
Buffy knew he was right but still felt the need to protest. "My mom likes you!"
Spike smiled and shook his head. "And I like your mum, she makes great cocoa. But it's not enough slayer. I can't be in this place, not yet...still too many painful memories for me here." Buffy nodded, seeing the sense in what he said. It didn't make her any less miserable about it though. "Besides," he added "I think it's pretty clear that you're doing ok for yourself here without me, where as I'm still having trouble. I need to get used to being on my own again. I can't keep relying on other people to put me back together. You helped me, you really did! But I have to do the rest alone slayer, if I stick around I'll always have the temptation of running to you."
"I like it when you run to me." It was a simple truth and neither of them disputed it.
Spike smiled. "I'm not gonna vanish of the face of the earth slayer. You can still call or write if you need me. I'll always be there for you."
"Promise?" She asked, feeling a fresh wave of tears threatening to break free
"Promise." He said gently, leading forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. Once again they stood in comfortable silence for a minute or so, before Spike reluctantly said that it was time he got going if he was to get back to LA before sunrise.
"Ohhh let me give you your Christmas present first!" said Buffy excitedly, pulling the hastily wrapped box from her coat pocket and handing it to him.
Spike unwrapped it, marvelling at the first Christmas present he had received in over a century. When he saw what was in the tiny box however, he burst out laughing.
"No need to make fun!" pouted Buffy; put out that he didn't like it.
"No, no, it's not that Slayer I love it it's just...here!" Spike reassured her, taking a similar small box out of his duster pocket and handing it to her. Buffy opened it, a puzzled frown on her face. Until she saw what was inside and burst out laughing herself...
//You're too important for anyone//
//You play the role of all you want to be//
//But I, I know who you really are//
//You're the one who cries when you're alone//
Buffy lay on her bed, hugging Mr Gordo, listening to the song filtering out of her radio alarm clock, thinking of her best friend. She knew he had been putting on a front when he had told her that he would be fine alone, that she needn't worry about him falling apart. She would have been comforted if she didn't know him well enough to see when he was lying.
//But where will you go//
//With no one left to save you from yourself//
//You can't escape//
//You can't escape//
She looked at the clock. She'd give it until tomorrow, then she'd call...just to make sure.
//You think that I can't see right through your eyes//
//Scared to death to face reality//
//No one seems to hear your hidden cries//
//You're left to face yourself alone//
Spike drummed his fingers on the hood of his car, idly tapping out the beat of the song filtering from the radio. He smiled when he looked at his hand, seeing the silver ring that now lay there sparkling under the artificial lights of the gas station. Placing the gas hose back in place, he took the ring off his finger to study it. It was a simple thing, just three bands of silver woven together, but it was the inscription inside that made him smile. 'My best friend, with love, Buffy'.
//I realize you're afraid//
//But you can't abandon everyone//
//You can't escape//
//You don't want to escape//
He knew Buffy was worried about him. He knew that she wouldn't have objected if he had decided to stay in Sunnyhell...but he couldn't do that to her. She needed to concentrate on her own life, on those people who needed her protection. She didn't need to worry about a Master vampire who should be perfectly capable of looking after himself! He'd be fine. If not for himself, he be fine so that she wouldn't worry.
//I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands//
//Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone//
//I can hear you in a whisper//
//But you can't even hear me screaming//
Buffy felt like beating the crap out of something as she left the mansion after another conversation with Angel that had resolved absolutely nothing! It felt as if he were treating her like a child, not the slayer. Ranting at her about 'letting a dangerous creature like Spike go free'. She was seething; wishing she could make him see how much Spike had changed without sending him off the deep end. As much as she loved Angel, as much as she wished they could be together, he could be such a wanker! As she walked quickly back to her house Buffy played with the ring on her hand - three simple bands of silver woven together - taking it off to read the inscription one more time: 'My best friend, with love, Spike'. She smiled, wondering if he would be awake when she got back so she could call him...
A/N: Cheesy I know but I couldn't resist! Thank you for reading, but don't worry, I'm no where near finished with this little story! Please let me know what you think – it stops me from leaving horrible cliffhangers...sometimes. Love you all!!!
