Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, Harry Potter or any of the affiliates. I am doing this purely for my own amusement. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Summary: Set during and after Henry's final M*A*S*H episode, what really happened when the helicopter blew up. Warning: Includes Harry Potter content.

Light! Heat! Flash! Burns! Pain! Flames! Noise! Falling! Things! Move! Scream! Who? Me!

"Yaaaaargh!"

Down, down, down! Dropping!

"Nooooooooo!"

Water! Wet… cool… hurts! Salt! Dying! Get out! So wet… so wet! Clothes… off! Yow! Why can't I scream? What…? Nooooooooo!

*~*~*

Sound… noise… where am I? Voices… who? Can't… move…

"How is he?"

A voice… English… not American…

"He be fine, sir. We heal him now. He lucky we be there. Muggles not heal this bad, just us."

Muggles? Is that… word?

"First, must stun him. He cannot be awake for this."

Stun… no! Can't… see… where…? How…

"Stupefy!"

*~*~*

Quiet… what's happening…? I feel… well. Open eyes… I can see!

"Please, sir. Remain still. Your body has still not recovered from the magic used on it. You must be a Muggle or you would have recovered much sooner."

That English voice again… Muggle? Magic? What…

"Lay back now, we'll bring you food…"

A tall man… black hair… like Hawkeye… Food… Radar liked food…

"Here you are, Healer."

A female voice… blonde hair… food tray… that's not normal Army food…

"Who… who are you?"

Is that my voice…? It sounds so… old!

"I am Healer Lewis Lloyd of the 1st WASH, Wizard's Army Surgical Hospital. You would not have survived without my help."

WASH… like MASH? Wizard…? Who was this guy?

"C- Colonel Henry Blake, 4077th MASH."

Why am I introducing myself…?

"Lie still now, sir. You have been asleep for five days. It took a long time for your body to accept the magic."

Magic…? Who were these… nutters, all of them!

"I'm sorry… magic?"

There I go… asking stupid questions… I should be getting… can't move my legs!

"Fetch Howler, Jessica, and get Jin-Ho in too. Why did we ever take in a Muggle?"

Why…? My legs… can't move…

"I can't move my legs…"

Stupid comment...

"Yes, we have immobilized them. We can't have you running off and telling all our secrets to your world without explaining first."

Can't he just… just explain now?

"What's to stop you?"

Boy… my voice is croaky!

"The International Statute of Secrecy, section 2, paragraph 3A."

A new voice… from the door… American.

"I'm representative of the American Ministry of Magic, my name is Stuart Edwards but you can call me Howler; it's because I like to shout. Now let me explain…"

Oh no… not a long talk… I hope it's not like those two, the majors… boy I miss them… even Frank!

"Well, I am what is known as a wizard. Jessica here is a witch…"