Chapter Seven
Kade stayed in his room at Severus' days on end. He went as far to say he wouldn't go to his mother's funeral, but when Lucius came through his fireplace and asked him he took it back.
At the funeral, Lucius and Draco were crying, but Harry couldn't. This hurt him more than anything. He wished he could cry. It was his mother after all. He just didn't know her like Draco or his father did. He looked at the floor the whole time, praying for tears to just come. Severus stood beside him, seeming to understand what he was going through, with an arm around his shoulder.
When they got home, Harry locked himself in his room again. Draco was visibly upset and talked about it. He seemed to be dealing well. Kade.was different. He just sat in his room, reading and sleeping. He barely ate.
Lucius was staying at the hideout. He came to dinner every night and sat with Severus and Draco some time after. Kade stayed in his room. One day, Lucius broke down. They had been sitting in the living room chatting when Draco went to bed. Severus sighed and poured the two remaining occupants a drink. When he sat down, Lucius just started crying.
"Why? Why did this have to happen to Narcissa?" Lucius asked, pleading for an answer.
"It is a horrible thing that happened. I really did love Narcissa like a sister. There is no good reason this happened. You just need to work through it." Lucius' eyes bugged out and he stood with fury dancing in his eyes.
"HOW DARE YOU!? I can't just WORK THROUGH this! MY WIFE IS DEAD!" He then picked up one of Severus' heirloom vases off its stand and smashed it against the wall. He then sunk to his knees, crying. Severus made a mental note to fix the vase after Lucius left as he walked over to his friend.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Lucius shook his head before looking up with a start. "ACTUALLY."
"Anything." Severus said.
"I want you to keep Harry."
"Harry?"
"Yes, he can stay with you.Draco can come home with." Lucius then caught his mistake. "Oh god.."
"What do you mean, oh god."
"What were you saying about Harry Potter?" Severus said, suspiciously.
"And you two were getting along so well.now you'll hate him.." Lucius sighed. "Harry Potter is Kaden Malfoy. Harry is my son. He was just adopted my James and Lily." Severus' eyes grew large.
"That boy that I would have liked to have for a son is.Harry Potter?" Severus said with a sneer.
"Yes. Well, I suppose that I will have to take him. I'll go get him now."
"What are you talking about?" Severus said with a smirk.
"Well.you hate Harry.you don't want him staying here."
"No, he can stay. I might have hated Harry Potter, but Kaden Malfoy is like a son. How much longer can he stay?" Severus asked.
"Indefinitely." Lucius said, quietly.
Severus frowned. "Oookay, I suppose I can take care of him and Draco. When you want them home just."
"No, I am taking Draco with me. Tomorrow."
"Why are you taking Draco and not Kade?"
Lucius' eyes brightened with fury again. "BECAUSE, IF HE HADN'T BEEN HERE, NARCISSA WOULDN'T BE DEAD! IT IS HIS FAULT!" Lucius screamed. Severus then heard a cry of grief from the stairs and turned to see Kaden running back towards his room.
"Get out of my home." Severus said in a dangerously low voice.
"What?"
"I said GET OUT!"
"Why?"
"You KNOW it isn't his fault. I can't believe I didn't realize before, that's what he thinks. That's why he won't come out. He thinks it is his fault."
"With good reason." Lucius said before walking towards the fireplace. "I'll be here in the morning for my son." He then flooed away. Severus almost screamed with fury.
Severus turned away from the fire place and started to walk up the stairs. He knocked on Harry's bedroom door but he didn't answer. "Kade? Can I come in?"
"Go on.I might kill you too.I'll leave in the morning." Severus vaguely heard the sound of things being moved around, he assumed correctly that Harry was packing.
"Harry?"
"Go away, professor." Severus winced at the coldness he heard in the boy's voice. "Kade I am coming in." Severus said before attempting to turn the handle. It was locked. "ALOHOMORA!" It didn't work. Severus thought for a second before smirking. "CONSTRICTAPARUS" This time it worked. Severus walked through the door to see Harry shoving clothes into his trunk.
"I taught you that locking spell; it makes sense that I know the counterspell." Severus said. He then sighed. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know.the muggle world. At least I won't be looked on as a murderer or an idol there. And when I die alone, I can know I caused no more deaths." Harry said, dreamily.
"Kade."
"Severus, I don't want you to get hurt. I am leaving. If you, dad, Draco or any of the others died, I couldn't live with myself. I am leaving to prevent all of you form getting hurt."
Severus sighed and pulled Harry to sit on the bed with him. "Harry.think about this. If you left Hermione, it would hurt her because she was losing her chance at love. If you left Draco, he would lose the brother he never had and has always wanted. If you left me, I would lose the closest thing to a son that I would ever have had. You are like a son to me."
Harry felt tears rolling down his cheeks. "I don't want you to die."
Severus sighed. "I would rather die the most painful way a million times than to lose my son to his own free will. Please don't leave. All the people you need are few, millions of people need you, whether they know it or not. Stay." He then pulled the crying boy to him and they sat there for several minutes just hugging.
"Sev, it is my fault for so many deaths. James, Lily, Cedric, Sirius, Ron.my mother. I am cursed. I am the cause of death for too many."
"No.you are not. Voldemort is. HE killed them, not you. All they ever did was love you. That is NOT your fault."
"SEV! THINK! James and Lily were killed for protecting me. Cedric was killed because I was too noble to take that damned cup on my own. Sirius died because I was stupid and walked right into a trap and he died saving me. Ron died because he kept my secrets. My mother died because I existed. I just wish to cease to exist!" Harry said.
Severus was horror struck. "HARRY.James and Lily were your parents, they were supposed to protect you. Cedric died because Wormtail KILLED him. Sirius died because he loved you and wanted to keep you safe. Ron died because he was a loyal friend and VOLDEMORT killed him. Your mother died because Lucius was discovered as a spy. VOLDEMORT killed these people.not you. In the end, it all comes back to Voldemort."
Harry cried. "Dad hates me. He says it is my fault."
"Lucius is upset. People say things they don't mean when they are upset. He didn't mean it."
"He did."
"Just wait.he will come to his senses. Will you please stay with me? I need a family." Harry looked up at Severus and nodded slowly.
Severus smiled and pulled Harry into the warm embrace again.
"You know I love you, right Harry? You are my son.maybe not biologically, but spiritually."
Harry nodded. "I love you too."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Severus woke up the next morning, Kade was gone. Panic ran through him until he saw Harry's belongings were still there. He smiled and downstairs. He heard humming in the kitchen and walked in to see Kade cooking breakfast.
"Good morning Severus." Harry said over his shoulder.
"How did you know it was me?"
Harry chuckled. "I have been at Hogwarts for seven years; I can recognize you by your angry walk. It's like you have a pine comb shoved up your arse. Loosen up a bit." Severus growled before sitting down. Harry laughed and gave him his coffee. They were talking comfortably when Draco walked in.
"Kade? You cam down?" Harry nodded and smiled. Draco smiled back. "It's good to see you down here."
Harry smiled appreciatively. Severus looked at Draco. "Draco, your father is taking you home later this morning. You need to pack." Draco nodded.
"It's about time he take us back, eh? Christmas is just two days away, I am happy we can spend Christmas with." Draco then noticed the tear running down Harry's cheek and Severus looking at him sympathetically.
"What's going on?" Draco asked suspiciously.
Severus sighed. "Kade isn't going home with you.he is staying with me."
"You'll be home for Christmas right?" Draco said, confused.
Harry stood and walked from the room without a backward glance.
Severus sighed again. "Your father blames Kade for your mother's death. He is staying with me indefinitely." Draco's eyes grew wide. "I am staying also."
Severus looked at Draco pointedly. "No you aren't. Your father needs someone there for him. Harry will be fine here."
"I can't BELIEVE this. Dad is such an ARSE!""
"He'll realize what he is saying soon enough I expect."
"Well.it better be soon, or he might lose more than just his wife." Draco then turned and walked out the room. Severus followed. The met in the living room next to the stairs. Lucius was there and glaring at Harry.
Lucius then noticed Severus. "Draco, are you ready to go?" Draco glared at his father. "Be right back." Lucius cringed at the look on his barely younger son's face. He looked very angry. Draco then left.
Soon after, Draco returned. Lucius smiled. "Well I best be leaving. Thanks for taking care of my son. Goodbye, Severus, Potter." Harry burst into tears and ran up the stairs.
Severus had to contain himself from lunging at Lucius. Lucius just smiled and flooed away. Draco turned to Severus. "I will see you at school and send your presents over here. Okay?"
Severus nodded. "Take care Draco." Draco left. Severus then made his way upstairs. He found Harry sitting on the bed. "Kade?"
Kade looked up. "Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
Kade nodded. "You know what's funny?"
Severus looked skeptical. "What?"
"I can't cry for my mother. I miss her like crazy but I can't cry. I guess it is because I didn't really know her. I knew she was my mother and loved her, but.that's it. I have no real attachment to her. Draco told me about this one time when they made cookies together. It was the first time they had ever cooked and they completely trashed the kitchen. I don't have memories like that. The only real time we ever talked was when I woke up right after I found out I was a Malfoy."
"Woke up?"
Harry smiled. "Yes.I fainted. I wish I knew her. I miss her. But it's not as strong as Draco's love for her. I mostly regret her dying. Because she died, I never got to know her. I hate it. I hate to cry. Tears are weakness...But now.I pray for tears. Just to prove I have emotion. Just to prove that I did care. It seems like I don't because I can't cry. I could fake it, fake other people, but not myself. That's what hurts the most."
Severus walked over to Harry and could think of nothing to say, so he just hugged him.
Kade stayed in his room at Severus' days on end. He went as far to say he wouldn't go to his mother's funeral, but when Lucius came through his fireplace and asked him he took it back.
At the funeral, Lucius and Draco were crying, but Harry couldn't. This hurt him more than anything. He wished he could cry. It was his mother after all. He just didn't know her like Draco or his father did. He looked at the floor the whole time, praying for tears to just come. Severus stood beside him, seeming to understand what he was going through, with an arm around his shoulder.
When they got home, Harry locked himself in his room again. Draco was visibly upset and talked about it. He seemed to be dealing well. Kade.was different. He just sat in his room, reading and sleeping. He barely ate.
Lucius was staying at the hideout. He came to dinner every night and sat with Severus and Draco some time after. Kade stayed in his room. One day, Lucius broke down. They had been sitting in the living room chatting when Draco went to bed. Severus sighed and poured the two remaining occupants a drink. When he sat down, Lucius just started crying.
"Why? Why did this have to happen to Narcissa?" Lucius asked, pleading for an answer.
"It is a horrible thing that happened. I really did love Narcissa like a sister. There is no good reason this happened. You just need to work through it." Lucius' eyes bugged out and he stood with fury dancing in his eyes.
"HOW DARE YOU!? I can't just WORK THROUGH this! MY WIFE IS DEAD!" He then picked up one of Severus' heirloom vases off its stand and smashed it against the wall. He then sunk to his knees, crying. Severus made a mental note to fix the vase after Lucius left as he walked over to his friend.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Lucius shook his head before looking up with a start. "ACTUALLY."
"Anything." Severus said.
"I want you to keep Harry."
"Harry?"
"Yes, he can stay with you.Draco can come home with." Lucius then caught his mistake. "Oh god.."
"What do you mean, oh god."
"What were you saying about Harry Potter?" Severus said, suspiciously.
"And you two were getting along so well.now you'll hate him.." Lucius sighed. "Harry Potter is Kaden Malfoy. Harry is my son. He was just adopted my James and Lily." Severus' eyes grew large.
"That boy that I would have liked to have for a son is.Harry Potter?" Severus said with a sneer.
"Yes. Well, I suppose that I will have to take him. I'll go get him now."
"What are you talking about?" Severus said with a smirk.
"Well.you hate Harry.you don't want him staying here."
"No, he can stay. I might have hated Harry Potter, but Kaden Malfoy is like a son. How much longer can he stay?" Severus asked.
"Indefinitely." Lucius said, quietly.
Severus frowned. "Oookay, I suppose I can take care of him and Draco. When you want them home just."
"No, I am taking Draco with me. Tomorrow."
"Why are you taking Draco and not Kade?"
Lucius' eyes brightened with fury again. "BECAUSE, IF HE HADN'T BEEN HERE, NARCISSA WOULDN'T BE DEAD! IT IS HIS FAULT!" Lucius screamed. Severus then heard a cry of grief from the stairs and turned to see Kaden running back towards his room.
"Get out of my home." Severus said in a dangerously low voice.
"What?"
"I said GET OUT!"
"Why?"
"You KNOW it isn't his fault. I can't believe I didn't realize before, that's what he thinks. That's why he won't come out. He thinks it is his fault."
"With good reason." Lucius said before walking towards the fireplace. "I'll be here in the morning for my son." He then flooed away. Severus almost screamed with fury.
Severus turned away from the fire place and started to walk up the stairs. He knocked on Harry's bedroom door but he didn't answer. "Kade? Can I come in?"
"Go on.I might kill you too.I'll leave in the morning." Severus vaguely heard the sound of things being moved around, he assumed correctly that Harry was packing.
"Harry?"
"Go away, professor." Severus winced at the coldness he heard in the boy's voice. "Kade I am coming in." Severus said before attempting to turn the handle. It was locked. "ALOHOMORA!" It didn't work. Severus thought for a second before smirking. "CONSTRICTAPARUS" This time it worked. Severus walked through the door to see Harry shoving clothes into his trunk.
"I taught you that locking spell; it makes sense that I know the counterspell." Severus said. He then sighed. "Where are you going?"
"I don't know.the muggle world. At least I won't be looked on as a murderer or an idol there. And when I die alone, I can know I caused no more deaths." Harry said, dreamily.
"Kade."
"Severus, I don't want you to get hurt. I am leaving. If you, dad, Draco or any of the others died, I couldn't live with myself. I am leaving to prevent all of you form getting hurt."
Severus sighed and pulled Harry to sit on the bed with him. "Harry.think about this. If you left Hermione, it would hurt her because she was losing her chance at love. If you left Draco, he would lose the brother he never had and has always wanted. If you left me, I would lose the closest thing to a son that I would ever have had. You are like a son to me."
Harry felt tears rolling down his cheeks. "I don't want you to die."
Severus sighed. "I would rather die the most painful way a million times than to lose my son to his own free will. Please don't leave. All the people you need are few, millions of people need you, whether they know it or not. Stay." He then pulled the crying boy to him and they sat there for several minutes just hugging.
"Sev, it is my fault for so many deaths. James, Lily, Cedric, Sirius, Ron.my mother. I am cursed. I am the cause of death for too many."
"No.you are not. Voldemort is. HE killed them, not you. All they ever did was love you. That is NOT your fault."
"SEV! THINK! James and Lily were killed for protecting me. Cedric was killed because I was too noble to take that damned cup on my own. Sirius died because I was stupid and walked right into a trap and he died saving me. Ron died because he kept my secrets. My mother died because I existed. I just wish to cease to exist!" Harry said.
Severus was horror struck. "HARRY.James and Lily were your parents, they were supposed to protect you. Cedric died because Wormtail KILLED him. Sirius died because he loved you and wanted to keep you safe. Ron died because he was a loyal friend and VOLDEMORT killed him. Your mother died because Lucius was discovered as a spy. VOLDEMORT killed these people.not you. In the end, it all comes back to Voldemort."
Harry cried. "Dad hates me. He says it is my fault."
"Lucius is upset. People say things they don't mean when they are upset. He didn't mean it."
"He did."
"Just wait.he will come to his senses. Will you please stay with me? I need a family." Harry looked up at Severus and nodded slowly.
Severus smiled and pulled Harry into the warm embrace again.
"You know I love you, right Harry? You are my son.maybe not biologically, but spiritually."
Harry nodded. "I love you too."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When Severus woke up the next morning, Kade was gone. Panic ran through him until he saw Harry's belongings were still there. He smiled and downstairs. He heard humming in the kitchen and walked in to see Kade cooking breakfast.
"Good morning Severus." Harry said over his shoulder.
"How did you know it was me?"
Harry chuckled. "I have been at Hogwarts for seven years; I can recognize you by your angry walk. It's like you have a pine comb shoved up your arse. Loosen up a bit." Severus growled before sitting down. Harry laughed and gave him his coffee. They were talking comfortably when Draco walked in.
"Kade? You cam down?" Harry nodded and smiled. Draco smiled back. "It's good to see you down here."
Harry smiled appreciatively. Severus looked at Draco. "Draco, your father is taking you home later this morning. You need to pack." Draco nodded.
"It's about time he take us back, eh? Christmas is just two days away, I am happy we can spend Christmas with." Draco then noticed the tear running down Harry's cheek and Severus looking at him sympathetically.
"What's going on?" Draco asked suspiciously.
Severus sighed. "Kade isn't going home with you.he is staying with me."
"You'll be home for Christmas right?" Draco said, confused.
Harry stood and walked from the room without a backward glance.
Severus sighed again. "Your father blames Kade for your mother's death. He is staying with me indefinitely." Draco's eyes grew wide. "I am staying also."
Severus looked at Draco pointedly. "No you aren't. Your father needs someone there for him. Harry will be fine here."
"I can't BELIEVE this. Dad is such an ARSE!""
"He'll realize what he is saying soon enough I expect."
"Well.it better be soon, or he might lose more than just his wife." Draco then turned and walked out the room. Severus followed. The met in the living room next to the stairs. Lucius was there and glaring at Harry.
Lucius then noticed Severus. "Draco, are you ready to go?" Draco glared at his father. "Be right back." Lucius cringed at the look on his barely younger son's face. He looked very angry. Draco then left.
Soon after, Draco returned. Lucius smiled. "Well I best be leaving. Thanks for taking care of my son. Goodbye, Severus, Potter." Harry burst into tears and ran up the stairs.
Severus had to contain himself from lunging at Lucius. Lucius just smiled and flooed away. Draco turned to Severus. "I will see you at school and send your presents over here. Okay?"
Severus nodded. "Take care Draco." Draco left. Severus then made his way upstairs. He found Harry sitting on the bed. "Kade?"
Kade looked up. "Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
Kade nodded. "You know what's funny?"
Severus looked skeptical. "What?"
"I can't cry for my mother. I miss her like crazy but I can't cry. I guess it is because I didn't really know her. I knew she was my mother and loved her, but.that's it. I have no real attachment to her. Draco told me about this one time when they made cookies together. It was the first time they had ever cooked and they completely trashed the kitchen. I don't have memories like that. The only real time we ever talked was when I woke up right after I found out I was a Malfoy."
"Woke up?"
Harry smiled. "Yes.I fainted. I wish I knew her. I miss her. But it's not as strong as Draco's love for her. I mostly regret her dying. Because she died, I never got to know her. I hate it. I hate to cry. Tears are weakness...But now.I pray for tears. Just to prove I have emotion. Just to prove that I did care. It seems like I don't because I can't cry. I could fake it, fake other people, but not myself. That's what hurts the most."
Severus walked over to Harry and could think of nothing to say, so he just hugged him.
