Chapter 22 (I think)
Kaden lifted up his two year old in his arms and swung her around. "Hello, beautiful! Sleep well?"
Luci giggled and continued to suck on her pacifier. He started to blow raspberries on her stomach when a voice interrupted him. "Oh, VERY mature, Kade!" Kaden turned around and stuck a tongue out at his brother, naturally. Draco snorted. Felicia slapped his arm.
Draco and Felicia had married the previous winter. It was now August, over two years after...her...death. Kaden still didn't talk about it. Felicia was now glaring at her husband and broke Kaden from his thoughts when she said, "I think it is adorable!"
Lucius smiled. "Me too. Draco, you don't remember all the raspberries I blew on your stomach as a baby?" Draco blushed and shook his head. Lucius smirked, evilly.
"Now, let me see my Luci-poo!" Lucius reached for the giggling toddler. He lifted Luci from Kaden's arms. Kaden smirked. "Ahh...isn't that sweet. Luci-poo is holding Luci-poo."
Lucius glared. Then Felicia cried out in a tone that could be described not differently than childish, "LUCI!" She reached her arms towards Luci who quickly responded.
Luci stuck out her pudgy arms and dropped her pacifier out of her mouth when she said, "MAMA!"
You could have heard a pin drop. Kaden, composing himself, walked over to Lucius and snatched his daughter up before walking out of the nursery.
Lucius, Draco, and Felicia looked at each other. Draco muttered, "Oh my god!"
Felicia sighed. "I know she didn't mean it. She just saw me as a female and, as such, a mother figure, Kaden shouldn't be so upset about it."
Lucius sighed. "Yes, it is. That was her first word. Her first word was not 'daddy' as Kaden was hoping. It was 'mama', and she said that to someone who is NOT her mother, her dead mother."
Felicia and Draco looked at each other. They then muttered at the same time, "Oh shit."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lucius walked down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen to see Kaden feeding Luci. Kaden had tears flowing down his cheeks. Lucius walked over to the table at sat in front of his son. "Kaden?"
"I don't want to talk about it, dad." Kaden said, stubbornly.
Lucius sighed. "It isn't Luci's or Felicia's fault. Luci looked at Felicia as the only female, mother-like figure in her life and responded to her as such. And Felicia, most definitely, didn't TEACH Luci to call her that."
Kaden sighed. "I know. It's just...I wanted daddy to be her first word. I am her dad and I wanted her to call ME first. And it hurts even worse is the person she called "mama" isn't her mother at all. She will never know Herm...her mother."
"I know, son. I hate to bring this up but...at least you were here to see her first word; you called James and Lily by mama and daddy. Each time it felt like having mine and Narcissa's hearts ripped out. I was "Uncle Luce" and each time you said it was like the worst torture possible."
"But you eventually got me back!"
"Yes, and that is where it is different for you. Luci will never get...Hermione back. But that doesn't mean that she won't think of Hermione as her mother. I am sure that you think of both Lily and Narcissa as mother, correct?"
"Yes." Kaden mumbled.
"And that is fine. But even though you call Lily "mother" you still think of Narcissa as your mother, no?"
"Yes."
"Well, it is practically the same situation. Just be happy that Felicia is around to BE a mother figure. Trust me, you WILL appreciate it. And so will the young men that she dates." Lucius said with a chuckle.
"Yes, sir."
"Are you okay now?"
Kaden sighed. "Yes, but I don't think I have EVER been so angry in my life. Except for when...well...Luci's birthday. That was the best and worst day of my life, all at one time."
Lucius nodded. "I wouldn't expect you to behave any differently." He then got up and hugged his son."
They were interrupted when a small voice said "dada", Kaden broke away with a grin. "I think I will be okay." He then lifted Luci in his arms and kissed her before spinning her around. While Lucius said, "Can you say granddaddy? Come on, say granddaddy!" Lucius then started making faces at her to get her to speak. Luci giggled at her grandfather.
~*~*~*~*~
Kaden had just put Luci down for the night when he thought of the days events. He sighed, "I need to apologize to Felicia." He walked over to the mantle and threw some powder into the fireplace. "Felicia Malfoy!"
Felicia's head came into view and she smiled sympathetically. "Yes, Kaden?"
"Felicia, can you come through for a little while?" Felicia nodded her head and stepped through the fireplace. "What did you need to see me about?"
Kaden signaled her to sit down. He then sat in his chair across from her. "I...need to apologize. I overreacted earlier, about Luci."
Felicia shook her head. "No, I am sorry. I didn't know she would call me that but I am sorry that she called me 'mama'."
Kaden sighed. "Actually, that is something I want to talk to you about. Well, you see....Her, my wife is dead. I think I can be a decent father, I hope so anyway. But...she does need a motherly figure. I had no right to blow up like that to you. You are like a mother to her. I want her to call you Aunt Felicia, of course, but...I do want you to be a motherly figure in her life. I know that some things she won't be comfortable talking to me about. I am sure there are some things I won't want to talk to her about. I...guess what I am trying to say is...please be the person she can talk to. She will never have a mother's love and I think it would be good to have you there."
Felicia had tears in her eyes. "I will talk to her about whatever she wants me to. I will be there for her, I already planned on it. I love you and Luci very much and whatever either of you aren't comfortable with...send her to me. I will talk to her."
Kaden nodded and stood. He offered his hand to Felicia and helped her stand. "Well...thank you, really. You have no idea what this means to me. That is all I needed to talk to you about. Anything you would like to talk to me about?"
Felicia shook her head. "No, not that I can think of. I am going to go home to Draco." She kissed Kaden on the cheek. "Goodnight." She walked towards the fireplace and threw some floo powder in. She said her destination and before she stepped into the fireplace she turned. "By the way, Kaden, you are going to be a wonderful father, you already are." Then she was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*3 Years Later * ~
True to her word, Felicia was like a second-mother to Luci. She and Luci talked about anything Luci wanted to. They were very close. But...Luci didn't grow up with a perfect relationship with her father.
When Luci started to ask Kaden about her mother, he shied off. He would always refer her to Felicia. In fact, he backed off completely. He was VERY distant with Luci. He was silent whenever someone mentioned Hermione.
So, Luci went to her Aunt Felicia to learn about her mother. Her aunt would tell her anything she could but...it wasn't the same. Kaden still knew Hermione a lot better. Kaden didn't shower Luci with "I love you's" He, of course, showed he cared. It was all material. Luci's room was full of toys and trinkets. She also had a playroom, not to mention a toy box in the living room. He hugged her and kissed her forehead when she went to bed each night but other than that, he barely touched her.
The family and Severus hated that Kaden was so distant with Luci. He was basically the same with them, if they didn't mention Hermione. They had all tried talking to him, every one of them, about his relationship with Luci. He never listened.
Draco and Felicia, one day, invited Severus, Kaden, Luci, and Lucius to dinner. Draco looked like he was on the verge of tears the entire time. After dinner, Porgy, one of their house elves, took Luci off to play. The rest went into the living room to talk. They were all seated when Felicia stood. "Kaden, we have all tried to talk to you about this, dozen of times. It is time that this was finished. You are going to have to start talking to Luci about Hermione; you have to get close with her! I am not her mother!"
Kaden stood, his face pale. "I am sorry that I am uncomfortable talking about Luci's mother. It is a sensitive subject for me. But you have done very well speaking to her about it and since you are here she learns everything about Hermione. She doesn't need me to tell her!"
Draco now had tears running down his face. He stood and walked out of the room, quickly. Kaden snorted. "What's his problem?" Lucius and Severus looked questioningly at Felicia.
Felicia sighed. "I recently went to the doctor. I have been getting sick, especially in the mornings. I thought that I was pregnant. My stomach is cramped up and my hands have been shaking. Kaden....I won't always be there for Luci. I am....well, I have Ruthenius Disease. They can't do anything for it, I am incurable. I am going to be dead in six months."
The remaining three men's eyes grew wide. "What?" Severus said, in a near whisper.
Felicia nodded. "I am dying. You have to talk to Luci; I won't be here for much longer."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Six months later, Felicia was dead. She had died very slowly but not in very much pain. She was bed-ridden in the 4th month. Luci didn't really understand what was happening. She was just sad that her Aunt Felicia was sick. She did understand what it meant when her granddaddy told her that her aunt was dead. Aunt Felicia had explained all about her mother dying. She did similar to Kaden; she shut herself off from the world. She wouldn't talk to anyone.
Draco, Severus, and Lucius had all tried to get her to speak. She wouldn't though. After two weeks and only 3 words from his daughter, Kaden decided to have a go.
Luci was in her room, playing with her doll when Kaden entered. She turned to look at him when he walked in and then went back to playing. He walked over and asked her to come sit on the bed. The five year old did as she was asked.
Kaden sat down next to his daughter. He sighed. "Luci, I...know that I haven't really talked to you about...anything. It is because....Luci, when your mother died, it tore me up. I tried to act normal at first. Then...when you were two you said your first word. You called Aunt Felicia 'mama'. I got very upset. That night I called Felicia over to apologize for being rude to her. She said she would talk to you about whatever you needed to, whatever we were uncomfortable talking about with each other. I took her up on it." Luci was looking at him now, tears were in her eyes.
"Well...I really took advantage of it. I distanced myself from you, stopped playing with you as much. I left it all up to your aunt. But...I was wrong. Shutting myself off from you was a big mistake. I should have talking to you, told you about your mother. I broke a promise to her that I would. She made me promise to always tell you about her, did you know?" Luci shook her head negatively. Kaden nodded.
"Well, I did. And now, you are doing the same thing. I know you miss your aunt. I understand, believe me. I have lost two mothers, a father, a wife, and...well, a lot of people. You were supposed to have a brother; he died when your mother was hurt. The poison killed him. And, well, you can't shut yourself off, it is bad for you. I have a deal for you."
Luci looked up to him, mentally asking him to go on. "I say, we talk to each other. I know I have a lot of time to make up for but...I want to be a good father to you. What do you say?"
Luci smiled and grabbed him. She buried her head in the crook of his neck. "I love you, daddy."
Kaden smiled, tears were running down his face, "I love you to Luci." He could feel Luci's grin on his skin. "Luci, do you know what your full name is?"
"Luciana Aradia Malfoy." She responded, confidently.
"Yes," Kaden smiled. "Your mother picked that name out, right after you were born and before she....died. She told me to name to Luciana Aradia. I was confused at first, but then I looked up what it meant. It means 'Light Goddess of Witches.'"
Luci smiled. "Why did she name me that?"
Kaden smiled. "I am not completely sure. She told me she had a dream and that you were destined to be named that. It was her dying wish." Luci smiled through her tears and kissed her daddy's cheek.
The rest of the night they talked about Hermione. Kaden was just in the middle of telling her about their second year and Hermione's "CATastrophe" (AN: I know it is corny.) with the polyjuice potion when he noticed that his daughter had fallen asleep in his lap.
Kaden suddenly felt a strange feeling in his heart. He realized it as happiness; it took 5 years to get it back. He covered his daughter up and as he walked out the door, remembering all the times he had seen Felicia with Luci asleep in her lap, he thought that things, for the first time, were finally going right.
~*~*~*~Authors Note: Okay! First, Happy Valentine's Day! Second, I wrote this baby chapter as a sort of interlude. Someone said they wanted a baby chapter. This is it. Third, I am glad you like the name I chose. Fourth, I am going to trash Turn Back Time unless someone takes it to write on it that I deem worthy. Email me at: Dracos_gir8706@yahoo.com. I want to know your author name so I can read some of your stuff. If you are new please write out a quick one shot. I want the best for it because it is an original idea and I want a dedicated writer. If I don't have an answer by next weeks postings it is in the garbage! See ya!~*~*~*~
Kaden lifted up his two year old in his arms and swung her around. "Hello, beautiful! Sleep well?"
Luci giggled and continued to suck on her pacifier. He started to blow raspberries on her stomach when a voice interrupted him. "Oh, VERY mature, Kade!" Kaden turned around and stuck a tongue out at his brother, naturally. Draco snorted. Felicia slapped his arm.
Draco and Felicia had married the previous winter. It was now August, over two years after...her...death. Kaden still didn't talk about it. Felicia was now glaring at her husband and broke Kaden from his thoughts when she said, "I think it is adorable!"
Lucius smiled. "Me too. Draco, you don't remember all the raspberries I blew on your stomach as a baby?" Draco blushed and shook his head. Lucius smirked, evilly.
"Now, let me see my Luci-poo!" Lucius reached for the giggling toddler. He lifted Luci from Kaden's arms. Kaden smirked. "Ahh...isn't that sweet. Luci-poo is holding Luci-poo."
Lucius glared. Then Felicia cried out in a tone that could be described not differently than childish, "LUCI!" She reached her arms towards Luci who quickly responded.
Luci stuck out her pudgy arms and dropped her pacifier out of her mouth when she said, "MAMA!"
You could have heard a pin drop. Kaden, composing himself, walked over to Lucius and snatched his daughter up before walking out of the nursery.
Lucius, Draco, and Felicia looked at each other. Draco muttered, "Oh my god!"
Felicia sighed. "I know she didn't mean it. She just saw me as a female and, as such, a mother figure, Kaden shouldn't be so upset about it."
Lucius sighed. "Yes, it is. That was her first word. Her first word was not 'daddy' as Kaden was hoping. It was 'mama', and she said that to someone who is NOT her mother, her dead mother."
Felicia and Draco looked at each other. They then muttered at the same time, "Oh shit."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Lucius walked down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen to see Kaden feeding Luci. Kaden had tears flowing down his cheeks. Lucius walked over to the table at sat in front of his son. "Kaden?"
"I don't want to talk about it, dad." Kaden said, stubbornly.
Lucius sighed. "It isn't Luci's or Felicia's fault. Luci looked at Felicia as the only female, mother-like figure in her life and responded to her as such. And Felicia, most definitely, didn't TEACH Luci to call her that."
Kaden sighed. "I know. It's just...I wanted daddy to be her first word. I am her dad and I wanted her to call ME first. And it hurts even worse is the person she called "mama" isn't her mother at all. She will never know Herm...her mother."
"I know, son. I hate to bring this up but...at least you were here to see her first word; you called James and Lily by mama and daddy. Each time it felt like having mine and Narcissa's hearts ripped out. I was "Uncle Luce" and each time you said it was like the worst torture possible."
"But you eventually got me back!"
"Yes, and that is where it is different for you. Luci will never get...Hermione back. But that doesn't mean that she won't think of Hermione as her mother. I am sure that you think of both Lily and Narcissa as mother, correct?"
"Yes." Kaden mumbled.
"And that is fine. But even though you call Lily "mother" you still think of Narcissa as your mother, no?"
"Yes."
"Well, it is practically the same situation. Just be happy that Felicia is around to BE a mother figure. Trust me, you WILL appreciate it. And so will the young men that she dates." Lucius said with a chuckle.
"Yes, sir."
"Are you okay now?"
Kaden sighed. "Yes, but I don't think I have EVER been so angry in my life. Except for when...well...Luci's birthday. That was the best and worst day of my life, all at one time."
Lucius nodded. "I wouldn't expect you to behave any differently." He then got up and hugged his son."
They were interrupted when a small voice said "dada", Kaden broke away with a grin. "I think I will be okay." He then lifted Luci in his arms and kissed her before spinning her around. While Lucius said, "Can you say granddaddy? Come on, say granddaddy!" Lucius then started making faces at her to get her to speak. Luci giggled at her grandfather.
~*~*~*~*~
Kaden had just put Luci down for the night when he thought of the days events. He sighed, "I need to apologize to Felicia." He walked over to the mantle and threw some powder into the fireplace. "Felicia Malfoy!"
Felicia's head came into view and she smiled sympathetically. "Yes, Kaden?"
"Felicia, can you come through for a little while?" Felicia nodded her head and stepped through the fireplace. "What did you need to see me about?"
Kaden signaled her to sit down. He then sat in his chair across from her. "I...need to apologize. I overreacted earlier, about Luci."
Felicia shook her head. "No, I am sorry. I didn't know she would call me that but I am sorry that she called me 'mama'."
Kaden sighed. "Actually, that is something I want to talk to you about. Well, you see....Her, my wife is dead. I think I can be a decent father, I hope so anyway. But...she does need a motherly figure. I had no right to blow up like that to you. You are like a mother to her. I want her to call you Aunt Felicia, of course, but...I do want you to be a motherly figure in her life. I know that some things she won't be comfortable talking to me about. I am sure there are some things I won't want to talk to her about. I...guess what I am trying to say is...please be the person she can talk to. She will never have a mother's love and I think it would be good to have you there."
Felicia had tears in her eyes. "I will talk to her about whatever she wants me to. I will be there for her, I already planned on it. I love you and Luci very much and whatever either of you aren't comfortable with...send her to me. I will talk to her."
Kaden nodded and stood. He offered his hand to Felicia and helped her stand. "Well...thank you, really. You have no idea what this means to me. That is all I needed to talk to you about. Anything you would like to talk to me about?"
Felicia shook her head. "No, not that I can think of. I am going to go home to Draco." She kissed Kaden on the cheek. "Goodnight." She walked towards the fireplace and threw some floo powder in. She said her destination and before she stepped into the fireplace she turned. "By the way, Kaden, you are going to be a wonderful father, you already are." Then she was gone.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~*3 Years Later * ~
True to her word, Felicia was like a second-mother to Luci. She and Luci talked about anything Luci wanted to. They were very close. But...Luci didn't grow up with a perfect relationship with her father.
When Luci started to ask Kaden about her mother, he shied off. He would always refer her to Felicia. In fact, he backed off completely. He was VERY distant with Luci. He was silent whenever someone mentioned Hermione.
So, Luci went to her Aunt Felicia to learn about her mother. Her aunt would tell her anything she could but...it wasn't the same. Kaden still knew Hermione a lot better. Kaden didn't shower Luci with "I love you's" He, of course, showed he cared. It was all material. Luci's room was full of toys and trinkets. She also had a playroom, not to mention a toy box in the living room. He hugged her and kissed her forehead when she went to bed each night but other than that, he barely touched her.
The family and Severus hated that Kaden was so distant with Luci. He was basically the same with them, if they didn't mention Hermione. They had all tried talking to him, every one of them, about his relationship with Luci. He never listened.
Draco and Felicia, one day, invited Severus, Kaden, Luci, and Lucius to dinner. Draco looked like he was on the verge of tears the entire time. After dinner, Porgy, one of their house elves, took Luci off to play. The rest went into the living room to talk. They were all seated when Felicia stood. "Kaden, we have all tried to talk to you about this, dozen of times. It is time that this was finished. You are going to have to start talking to Luci about Hermione; you have to get close with her! I am not her mother!"
Kaden stood, his face pale. "I am sorry that I am uncomfortable talking about Luci's mother. It is a sensitive subject for me. But you have done very well speaking to her about it and since you are here she learns everything about Hermione. She doesn't need me to tell her!"
Draco now had tears running down his face. He stood and walked out of the room, quickly. Kaden snorted. "What's his problem?" Lucius and Severus looked questioningly at Felicia.
Felicia sighed. "I recently went to the doctor. I have been getting sick, especially in the mornings. I thought that I was pregnant. My stomach is cramped up and my hands have been shaking. Kaden....I won't always be there for Luci. I am....well, I have Ruthenius Disease. They can't do anything for it, I am incurable. I am going to be dead in six months."
The remaining three men's eyes grew wide. "What?" Severus said, in a near whisper.
Felicia nodded. "I am dying. You have to talk to Luci; I won't be here for much longer."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Six months later, Felicia was dead. She had died very slowly but not in very much pain. She was bed-ridden in the 4th month. Luci didn't really understand what was happening. She was just sad that her Aunt Felicia was sick. She did understand what it meant when her granddaddy told her that her aunt was dead. Aunt Felicia had explained all about her mother dying. She did similar to Kaden; she shut herself off from the world. She wouldn't talk to anyone.
Draco, Severus, and Lucius had all tried to get her to speak. She wouldn't though. After two weeks and only 3 words from his daughter, Kaden decided to have a go.
Luci was in her room, playing with her doll when Kaden entered. She turned to look at him when he walked in and then went back to playing. He walked over and asked her to come sit on the bed. The five year old did as she was asked.
Kaden sat down next to his daughter. He sighed. "Luci, I...know that I haven't really talked to you about...anything. It is because....Luci, when your mother died, it tore me up. I tried to act normal at first. Then...when you were two you said your first word. You called Aunt Felicia 'mama'. I got very upset. That night I called Felicia over to apologize for being rude to her. She said she would talk to you about whatever you needed to, whatever we were uncomfortable talking about with each other. I took her up on it." Luci was looking at him now, tears were in her eyes.
"Well...I really took advantage of it. I distanced myself from you, stopped playing with you as much. I left it all up to your aunt. But...I was wrong. Shutting myself off from you was a big mistake. I should have talking to you, told you about your mother. I broke a promise to her that I would. She made me promise to always tell you about her, did you know?" Luci shook her head negatively. Kaden nodded.
"Well, I did. And now, you are doing the same thing. I know you miss your aunt. I understand, believe me. I have lost two mothers, a father, a wife, and...well, a lot of people. You were supposed to have a brother; he died when your mother was hurt. The poison killed him. And, well, you can't shut yourself off, it is bad for you. I have a deal for you."
Luci looked up to him, mentally asking him to go on. "I say, we talk to each other. I know I have a lot of time to make up for but...I want to be a good father to you. What do you say?"
Luci smiled and grabbed him. She buried her head in the crook of his neck. "I love you, daddy."
Kaden smiled, tears were running down his face, "I love you to Luci." He could feel Luci's grin on his skin. "Luci, do you know what your full name is?"
"Luciana Aradia Malfoy." She responded, confidently.
"Yes," Kaden smiled. "Your mother picked that name out, right after you were born and before she....died. She told me to name to Luciana Aradia. I was confused at first, but then I looked up what it meant. It means 'Light Goddess of Witches.'"
Luci smiled. "Why did she name me that?"
Kaden smiled. "I am not completely sure. She told me she had a dream and that you were destined to be named that. It was her dying wish." Luci smiled through her tears and kissed her daddy's cheek.
The rest of the night they talked about Hermione. Kaden was just in the middle of telling her about their second year and Hermione's "CATastrophe" (AN: I know it is corny.) with the polyjuice potion when he noticed that his daughter had fallen asleep in his lap.
Kaden suddenly felt a strange feeling in his heart. He realized it as happiness; it took 5 years to get it back. He covered his daughter up and as he walked out the door, remembering all the times he had seen Felicia with Luci asleep in her lap, he thought that things, for the first time, were finally going right.
~*~*~*~Authors Note: Okay! First, Happy Valentine's Day! Second, I wrote this baby chapter as a sort of interlude. Someone said they wanted a baby chapter. This is it. Third, I am glad you like the name I chose. Fourth, I am going to trash Turn Back Time unless someone takes it to write on it that I deem worthy. Email me at: Dracos_gir8706@yahoo.com. I want to know your author name so I can read some of your stuff. If you are new please write out a quick one shot. I want the best for it because it is an original idea and I want a dedicated writer. If I don't have an answer by next weeks postings it is in the garbage! See ya!~*~*~*~
