Chapter 2
The Truth
Rafe woke up disoriented. The light flooded through his eyes as if he'd been blind for years and lost in darkness. He was sitting on the ground, propped up against the wall. He couldn't immediately remember where he was or what had happened before. And then it all hit him like a missile from a plane.
Danny. He had lost Danny. His best friend was dead. He died to save Rafe. And Rafe had never been more alone. Or in more pain. He moaned as the tears stung his eyes but did not fall. He couldn't live anymore. He couldn't go back home and face Evelyn. He couldn't go on living without his best friend there by his side. He didn't deserve to live. Danny had been the better man.
Rafe searched himself for a gun, any kind of weapon. Every time he moved, he felt pain everywhere, flooding his body from the core of his being. He stopped when his hand felt cold, smooth metal in his left pocket. A gun. Rafe had been little more relieved before than he was now. He pulled it out of his pockets and drew across his body, his right hand holding it like it was fitted for the weapon. It clicked as he readied it to fire and lifted it to his head, staring ahead of him at nothing.
" I hope you waited for me, Danny."
Just then, Gooze, Red, Colonel Dolittle, and the others all came in.
" Holy shit ", one of them said as they all stopped in their tracks, eyes wide that had fallen on Rafe.
" McCawley, what the hell are you doing? " Dolittle questioned.
" Get the hell away from me ", Rafe ordered miserably.
" McCawley, put the gun down ", Dolittle ignored him and commanded Rafe to drop the weapon.
" Fuck you ", Rafe replied boldly, his finger about to pull the trigger.
The men were shocked that Rafe would talk to the Colonel like that but said nothing.
" McCawley, I order you to put down that God damn gun ", said Dolittle again, unfazed by Rafe's words.
" It's my life, damn it. No one can order me what to do with my life. And if I want to want to end it, then I will", Rafe answered.
" What the hell is your problem, Rafe? " Gooze questioned.
" What the hell is my problem? What the hell is my problem? I'll tell you what the hell my problem is. My best friend died for me, in my arms, damn it. He had to be so God damn noble and now he's gone and it hurts, damn it ", Rafe shouted at them. " It hurts. What the fuck do you know? Danny has been my best friend my whole Goddamn life, and I loved him more than anything in this world except for Evelyn. Even more than flying. And he's gone. Don't you fucking understand? Danny is dead. Dead. Or all of you in fucking denial? "
Everyone was silent, their eyes staring at the broken man who was their friend, now with a death wish. He straightened slightly, still pressing the gun to his head.
" Now all of you get the hell away from me, unless you want to watch this gun go off ", he warned.
No one moved for a while, but then Colonel Dolittle slowly approached Rafe and kneeled down in front of him.
" McCawley, put the gun down ", he said quietly.
" Hell no ", Rafe answered, staring at the Colonel with unwavering eyes, full of determination and self loathing.
" McCawley, put the gun down. You can't die yet."
Rafe didn't answer at first and than asked coldly,
" Why not? "
Colonel Dolittle was silent now, only looking at Rafe with strangely gentle, sympathetic eyes. He wasn't sure how McCawley would take this. But he had to tell.
" Because Walker is alive."
They were slow and steady words. Rafe stared at the Colonel in disbelief, letting his hand that held the gun fall to the ground at his side.
" What did you say to me? " he asked.
And Dolittle answered.
" Walker is alive."
The Truth
Rafe woke up disoriented. The light flooded through his eyes as if he'd been blind for years and lost in darkness. He was sitting on the ground, propped up against the wall. He couldn't immediately remember where he was or what had happened before. And then it all hit him like a missile from a plane.
Danny. He had lost Danny. His best friend was dead. He died to save Rafe. And Rafe had never been more alone. Or in more pain. He moaned as the tears stung his eyes but did not fall. He couldn't live anymore. He couldn't go back home and face Evelyn. He couldn't go on living without his best friend there by his side. He didn't deserve to live. Danny had been the better man.
Rafe searched himself for a gun, any kind of weapon. Every time he moved, he felt pain everywhere, flooding his body from the core of his being. He stopped when his hand felt cold, smooth metal in his left pocket. A gun. Rafe had been little more relieved before than he was now. He pulled it out of his pockets and drew across his body, his right hand holding it like it was fitted for the weapon. It clicked as he readied it to fire and lifted it to his head, staring ahead of him at nothing.
" I hope you waited for me, Danny."
Just then, Gooze, Red, Colonel Dolittle, and the others all came in.
" Holy shit ", one of them said as they all stopped in their tracks, eyes wide that had fallen on Rafe.
" McCawley, what the hell are you doing? " Dolittle questioned.
" Get the hell away from me ", Rafe ordered miserably.
" McCawley, put the gun down ", Dolittle ignored him and commanded Rafe to drop the weapon.
" Fuck you ", Rafe replied boldly, his finger about to pull the trigger.
The men were shocked that Rafe would talk to the Colonel like that but said nothing.
" McCawley, I order you to put down that God damn gun ", said Dolittle again, unfazed by Rafe's words.
" It's my life, damn it. No one can order me what to do with my life. And if I want to want to end it, then I will", Rafe answered.
" What the hell is your problem, Rafe? " Gooze questioned.
" What the hell is my problem? What the hell is my problem? I'll tell you what the hell my problem is. My best friend died for me, in my arms, damn it. He had to be so God damn noble and now he's gone and it hurts, damn it ", Rafe shouted at them. " It hurts. What the fuck do you know? Danny has been my best friend my whole Goddamn life, and I loved him more than anything in this world except for Evelyn. Even more than flying. And he's gone. Don't you fucking understand? Danny is dead. Dead. Or all of you in fucking denial? "
Everyone was silent, their eyes staring at the broken man who was their friend, now with a death wish. He straightened slightly, still pressing the gun to his head.
" Now all of you get the hell away from me, unless you want to watch this gun go off ", he warned.
No one moved for a while, but then Colonel Dolittle slowly approached Rafe and kneeled down in front of him.
" McCawley, put the gun down ", he said quietly.
" Hell no ", Rafe answered, staring at the Colonel with unwavering eyes, full of determination and self loathing.
" McCawley, put the gun down. You can't die yet."
Rafe didn't answer at first and than asked coldly,
" Why not? "
Colonel Dolittle was silent now, only looking at Rafe with strangely gentle, sympathetic eyes. He wasn't sure how McCawley would take this. But he had to tell.
" Because Walker is alive."
They were slow and steady words. Rafe stared at the Colonel in disbelief, letting his hand that held the gun fall to the ground at his side.
" What did you say to me? " he asked.
And Dolittle answered.
" Walker is alive."
