Waking up, Hitomi found herself in an all white room. Her head hurt,
but the pain was slowly subsiding. She looked to the side and saw an IV and
realized that she was in the hospital. On the table next to her were a vase
of black roses and a card. 'Yukari must have sent these,' Hitomi thought.
Her room only consisted of a single window that looked over a park. The sun
shined through brightly and she smiled. Leaning back into her hospital bed,
she stared out the window.
"Finally you woke up," a woman said as she entered the room. She was a nurse who looked just a little younger than Hitomi. Her shoulder-length blonde hair was mostly pushed to one side and Hitomi saw something familiar in her face.
"Who are . . ." Hitomi started.
"Hmm? Oh you want to know who I am? My name is Celena," Celena said with a bright and cheerful smile.
"Celena? I've heard of that name before."
"You probably heard it from my brother. His name is Allen," she said while opening the window.
"Schezar. Allen Schezar. The senior?"
"The one and only. I'm his younger sister." Hitomi looked at her with a slightly dazed look then she looked down. Celena gave a small sigh and began to walk out the door.
"Uhmm . . . Celena?" Hitomi said quickly looking up trying to catch the nurse before she left.
"Yes?"
"What's wrong with me?" Celena stopped breathing for a moment and then she sighed again. She looked into Hitomi's eyes. Hitomi knew that her look was one of sadness and pity. Then Celena looked away and tried to find some way to answer Hitomi.
"You're . . ." she began.
"Hitomi!" Yukari said at the same time that Celena was going to say what was wrong with her. Celena had a look of relief on her face as she walked out the door so that Yukari could speak with Hitomi.
"Hey," Hitomi answered gloomily.
"Want to know something funny? I went to twenty different rooms trying to find you but then a kind doctor told me that you were here, so yeah."
"You can always count on you to do things right," Hitomi said with a laugh.
"Hey! I think I'm going to leave. I come here all this way to see how you were and you just throw insults at me. Well fine, I know when I'm not wanted," she said jokingly as she pretended to get her things.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine." There seemed to be an awkward silence between them. Hitomi guessed that when Yukari saw her pass out, she became fearful for her friend's life. The room was dead. It was void of life.
"Thank you for the flowers," Hitomi finally said breaking the silence. Yukari looked at her with a confused look. Then she looked at the table next to Hitomi's bed and saw what Hitomi was thanking her for.
"Oh. I didn't send those. Mine came on the first day you were in the hospital, but those died and you never got to see them because you were still unconscious." Now Hitomi was confused.
"Then if you didn't send these, who did?"
"Did you read the card?" Yukari said reaching for the card, "'Hope you feel better -Van.'" Hitomi looked at Yukari with a kind of surprised look. 'Why would Van send me flowers?' Hitomi thought, 'More importantly, how did he know what my favorite flowers were?' As if reading Hitomi's mind Yukari told Hitomi that he came to her a day after Hitomi was in the hospital asking what her favorite flowers were.
"How sweet. At least you know he cares." Hitomi looked up at her half smiling friend. Things went to being silent yet again. Hitomi thought it strange for them to be so silent with one another. Yukari and Hitomi were the type of girls that would never stop talking. Yukari looked away from Hitomi slowly and Hitomi began to notice that something was wrong.
"Yukari is something . . ."
"Hitomi why are you . . ." They both said at the same time. Hitomi smiled at Yukari, while Yukari gave a nervous laugh. Then Hitomi signaled for Yukari to continue. Yukari took a deep breath and began to pace around the room. The worried look on her friend's face was beginning to worry her. Suddenly she turned to Hitomi with hurt eyes.
"Hitomi why are you hurting yourself?" she said in a painful tone. Hitomi looked at Yukari with a look of confusion.
"What are you talking about?"
"Hitomi don't give me that crap!" Yukari turned towards the window to try and hide her face, but Hitomi could hear her sobs, "The doctor told us what you were doing to yourself. You're making yourself bleed by taking your nails and digging them into your skin."
"Who did the doctor tell?" Hitomi said becoming very serious.
"Your parents and me. But what does it matter Hitomi? You want to bleed to death?!"
"No. It's the only way I can let my sorrows go away. Whenever I look at my wrist it's like a constant reminder of what happened the day before. If I happen to die, then let it be," Hitomi said solemnly, turning her face away from Yukari. Whipping around, Yukari looked at Hitomi with tears of sadness pouring down her cheeks.
"You stupid! Don't you get it Hitomi? You don't have much time left! Why are you trying to end it sooner?" Yukari yelled while sobbing.
"Yukari what are you talking about?" Hitomi questioned while trying to talk higher than Yukari's sobbing.
"You're dying Hitomi. The doctor told us that you had leukemia. You only have six months to live," Yukari said looking away from Hitomi's shocked face.
"That's what Celena tried to tell me," Hitomi said quietly.
"I'm sorry, but you had to know. I can't just go on pretending that you're always going to be here. I can't keep thinking that we're going to go to each other's weddings or that we're going to grow old together. If I didn't tell you that I knew, I don't think I can ever live with that guilt."
"Thank you. If you never told me I would probably never know."
"How can you take this so calmly? You're dying. You'll never get to do the things that you love ever again!" Deep inside Hitomi knew that Yukari was right. She would never get to have a husband or fall in love. She would never get to watch her friend get married or grow old with her. She would never get to do what she loves ever again in her life. She was afraid, but she had to stay strong. She didn't know why, but all she knew was that she couldn't be afraid. No matter how hard she tried to keep everything in, she couldn't and all she could do was cry silent tears.
"I'm afraid Yukari. You're right. I don't want to die," she told her friend while crying.
"Why did you keep everything inside you all this time? It's not like I would stop being your friend. Don't you trust me Hitomi? I tell you everything! It's not fair Hitomi. It's not fair what you're doing to me!" Hitomi watched her friend break down. Tears of fear and pain poured out from her eyes. She was right. It wasn't fair for her to keep everything from her while all the time she would inform her on everything. Hitomi felt so bad for what she did, but she reacted in the only way she could. She had to crawl back into her hole again and retreat from everything. She had to protect herself from feeling.
"Yukari. I want to be alone," Hitomi said turning away.
"You're doing it again. You're pushing me away," Yukari responded with hurt in her voice.
"I'm sorry. It's just that . . ." Hitomi began. She wanted so much to tell Yukari everything. She wanted to confide in her about her deepest and darkest secrets. She wanted to talk to her about her life and problems and ask for her advice like a normal friend. Yukari began walking out the door, but before she did she turned to look at Hitomi for her to finish.
"I'm sorry," Hitomi said and with that Yukari had left. Hitomi's heart was torn in two pieces. One side was to tell all and confide in her friend and the other to keep everything inside and chase everyone away. She wanted to come out in the open, but it just wasn't meant to be.
A/N: another chapter is done and finished . . . less work on my behalf haha . . . hope you enjoyed it . . . shocking isn't it . . . that hitomi is to die? So the story goes . . . I'm sorry for you people who want more of Van and Hitomi because Van wasn't mentioned once . . . no wait he never appeared in this chapter . . . so here is the good news Van is coming back in the next chapter!!!!!! Bad news . . . you're going to have to wait a bit for the chapter to come out hehehe . . . *grins evilly* . . . so until then laterz!
"Finally you woke up," a woman said as she entered the room. She was a nurse who looked just a little younger than Hitomi. Her shoulder-length blonde hair was mostly pushed to one side and Hitomi saw something familiar in her face.
"Who are . . ." Hitomi started.
"Hmm? Oh you want to know who I am? My name is Celena," Celena said with a bright and cheerful smile.
"Celena? I've heard of that name before."
"You probably heard it from my brother. His name is Allen," she said while opening the window.
"Schezar. Allen Schezar. The senior?"
"The one and only. I'm his younger sister." Hitomi looked at her with a slightly dazed look then she looked down. Celena gave a small sigh and began to walk out the door.
"Uhmm . . . Celena?" Hitomi said quickly looking up trying to catch the nurse before she left.
"Yes?"
"What's wrong with me?" Celena stopped breathing for a moment and then she sighed again. She looked into Hitomi's eyes. Hitomi knew that her look was one of sadness and pity. Then Celena looked away and tried to find some way to answer Hitomi.
"You're . . ." she began.
"Hitomi!" Yukari said at the same time that Celena was going to say what was wrong with her. Celena had a look of relief on her face as she walked out the door so that Yukari could speak with Hitomi.
"Hey," Hitomi answered gloomily.
"Want to know something funny? I went to twenty different rooms trying to find you but then a kind doctor told me that you were here, so yeah."
"You can always count on you to do things right," Hitomi said with a laugh.
"Hey! I think I'm going to leave. I come here all this way to see how you were and you just throw insults at me. Well fine, I know when I'm not wanted," she said jokingly as she pretended to get her things.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine." There seemed to be an awkward silence between them. Hitomi guessed that when Yukari saw her pass out, she became fearful for her friend's life. The room was dead. It was void of life.
"Thank you for the flowers," Hitomi finally said breaking the silence. Yukari looked at her with a confused look. Then she looked at the table next to Hitomi's bed and saw what Hitomi was thanking her for.
"Oh. I didn't send those. Mine came on the first day you were in the hospital, but those died and you never got to see them because you were still unconscious." Now Hitomi was confused.
"Then if you didn't send these, who did?"
"Did you read the card?" Yukari said reaching for the card, "'Hope you feel better -Van.'" Hitomi looked at Yukari with a kind of surprised look. 'Why would Van send me flowers?' Hitomi thought, 'More importantly, how did he know what my favorite flowers were?' As if reading Hitomi's mind Yukari told Hitomi that he came to her a day after Hitomi was in the hospital asking what her favorite flowers were.
"How sweet. At least you know he cares." Hitomi looked up at her half smiling friend. Things went to being silent yet again. Hitomi thought it strange for them to be so silent with one another. Yukari and Hitomi were the type of girls that would never stop talking. Yukari looked away from Hitomi slowly and Hitomi began to notice that something was wrong.
"Yukari is something . . ."
"Hitomi why are you . . ." They both said at the same time. Hitomi smiled at Yukari, while Yukari gave a nervous laugh. Then Hitomi signaled for Yukari to continue. Yukari took a deep breath and began to pace around the room. The worried look on her friend's face was beginning to worry her. Suddenly she turned to Hitomi with hurt eyes.
"Hitomi why are you hurting yourself?" she said in a painful tone. Hitomi looked at Yukari with a look of confusion.
"What are you talking about?"
"Hitomi don't give me that crap!" Yukari turned towards the window to try and hide her face, but Hitomi could hear her sobs, "The doctor told us what you were doing to yourself. You're making yourself bleed by taking your nails and digging them into your skin."
"Who did the doctor tell?" Hitomi said becoming very serious.
"Your parents and me. But what does it matter Hitomi? You want to bleed to death?!"
"No. It's the only way I can let my sorrows go away. Whenever I look at my wrist it's like a constant reminder of what happened the day before. If I happen to die, then let it be," Hitomi said solemnly, turning her face away from Yukari. Whipping around, Yukari looked at Hitomi with tears of sadness pouring down her cheeks.
"You stupid! Don't you get it Hitomi? You don't have much time left! Why are you trying to end it sooner?" Yukari yelled while sobbing.
"Yukari what are you talking about?" Hitomi questioned while trying to talk higher than Yukari's sobbing.
"You're dying Hitomi. The doctor told us that you had leukemia. You only have six months to live," Yukari said looking away from Hitomi's shocked face.
"That's what Celena tried to tell me," Hitomi said quietly.
"I'm sorry, but you had to know. I can't just go on pretending that you're always going to be here. I can't keep thinking that we're going to go to each other's weddings or that we're going to grow old together. If I didn't tell you that I knew, I don't think I can ever live with that guilt."
"Thank you. If you never told me I would probably never know."
"How can you take this so calmly? You're dying. You'll never get to do the things that you love ever again!" Deep inside Hitomi knew that Yukari was right. She would never get to have a husband or fall in love. She would never get to watch her friend get married or grow old with her. She would never get to do what she loves ever again in her life. She was afraid, but she had to stay strong. She didn't know why, but all she knew was that she couldn't be afraid. No matter how hard she tried to keep everything in, she couldn't and all she could do was cry silent tears.
"I'm afraid Yukari. You're right. I don't want to die," she told her friend while crying.
"Why did you keep everything inside you all this time? It's not like I would stop being your friend. Don't you trust me Hitomi? I tell you everything! It's not fair Hitomi. It's not fair what you're doing to me!" Hitomi watched her friend break down. Tears of fear and pain poured out from her eyes. She was right. It wasn't fair for her to keep everything from her while all the time she would inform her on everything. Hitomi felt so bad for what she did, but she reacted in the only way she could. She had to crawl back into her hole again and retreat from everything. She had to protect herself from feeling.
"Yukari. I want to be alone," Hitomi said turning away.
"You're doing it again. You're pushing me away," Yukari responded with hurt in her voice.
"I'm sorry. It's just that . . ." Hitomi began. She wanted so much to tell Yukari everything. She wanted to confide in her about her deepest and darkest secrets. She wanted to talk to her about her life and problems and ask for her advice like a normal friend. Yukari began walking out the door, but before she did she turned to look at Hitomi for her to finish.
"I'm sorry," Hitomi said and with that Yukari had left. Hitomi's heart was torn in two pieces. One side was to tell all and confide in her friend and the other to keep everything inside and chase everyone away. She wanted to come out in the open, but it just wasn't meant to be.
A/N: another chapter is done and finished . . . less work on my behalf haha . . . hope you enjoyed it . . . shocking isn't it . . . that hitomi is to die? So the story goes . . . I'm sorry for you people who want more of Van and Hitomi because Van wasn't mentioned once . . . no wait he never appeared in this chapter . . . so here is the good news Van is coming back in the next chapter!!!!!! Bad news . . . you're going to have to wait a bit for the chapter to come out hehehe . . . *grins evilly* . . . so until then laterz!
