E.P.S.D.C. : Elrond's Prison for Slightly Deranged Convicts
By: Kiwii 22
Summary: Aragorn was a good boy who got caught for one little mistake. Sent to E.P.S.D.C. he learns what the law on the streets is, and meets some unexpected company… (Slash, A.U., drug use, bad language, mature subject matter)
I own nothing except E.P.S.D.C. and the character's personalities. Tolkien came up with the characters, but I twisted them A LOT for this. This story is very A.U. There are no Elves. Legolas and Haldir have pointed ears because of body modification. I also changed their last names. Legolas' is Kiava and Haldir's is Moresette (not the singer).
*~*
Good boy caught for one little mistake. It was this horrid new fate that awaited him. He was on a boat heading for the maximum security prison just off the shore of Miami… E.P.S.D.C. (Elrond's Prison for Slightly Deranged Convicts) as it was known on the street. He had gotten caught after getting in a bar fight and accidentally killed someone. His lawyer pleaded insanity, and the jury bought it… well, almost. They thought him deranged and so they sent him here… and he was dreading it.
*~*
They arrived on shore at about 5 p.m. Aragorn was pulled from the boat and lead into the large stone building, his hands cuffed behind his back. Once at the front desk, the men that brought him hear spoke with the clerk for a while until he nodded and ran off. Aragorn waited for what seemed like forever until a tall man with brown hair and a stern looking face towered over him. "So you're the bar fight kid?" Aragorn nodded. "This way." Elrond uncuffed his hands and lead him through a bullet-proof door to the main room, gym and cafeteria. "This is where you'll spend most of your day. The gym is through the door on your right, the cafeteria, on the left. You'll be expected to be on time for meals, or you won't be eating. This is the common room. If you want to stay out of trouble, I suggest you're not in here between the hours of 1 and 3 p.m. If you'll follow me…" Elrond lead him through another set of doors and into a cell block that looked like something out of the maximum security cells he'd seen on Oz (1). "This is cellblock A. Only a few people are in here, mostly the more… intense inmates." Aragorn could hear screaming and mad laughter and decided never to walk down this block again. A little ways down, they came to a cellblock with clear cell walls. "This is cellblock B. The more… difficult cases are kept in here." Elrond said dryly. They walked for a bit and stopped in front of a cell holding two blonde men with pointed ears and a ridiculous amount of piercing and tattoos. "What kind of trouble are you two getting up to now?" Elrond asked. One of the men stood and walked up to the glass, his appearance catching Aragorn's eye at once. He was tall and slender with long blonde hair that reached his waist. He wore no shoes and his pants were low cut jeans… very low cut jeans. He had no shirt on and Aragorn could see that he had branded himself a few times and had at least three tattoos. One nipple was pierced, along with his belly button. His ears were strangely pointed and he wore eyeliner, making him look like a whore.
"What can I do for you beautiful?" he asked, his strong English accent going straight to Aragorn's groin.
"Cut the theatrics Kiava. Since you have been here longer than anyone, I was wondering if you could watch over Aragorn to make sure he doesn't get into trouble." A hint of amusement hit Legolas' green eyes and he looked Aragorn up and down.
"Oo! You brought me a sexy one, you're improving. Moresette was a letdown Elrond. You could have done better. But here we have the perfection of a man. Lovely, perfectly lovely." Legolas hooked his slender fingers in the waistband of his jeans and pulled them down a bit.
"Stop it Kiava. I've held off the execution this far, and I'm appealing for your death sentence to be turned to a life time in this place on account of good behavior. Don't screw it up!" Legolas held up his hands in surrender and sighed.
"Whatever Elrond… whatever you say. See you around sexy." Legolas winked at Aragorn and went back over to his bunk where his cellmate was waiting, obviously getting another tattoo.
"He's not usually like that… he's usually worse. You got lucky. If he wasn't in the middle of something, you'd have to deal with that for another hour. Come on, I'll take you to your cell. Aragorn followed Elrond down the hall, but kept glancing back at Legolas' cell, not sure of his feelings for the man.
*~*
That night, Aragorn found it increasingly hard to sleep. His life had changed so much in one day; he didn't think he could handle it. Just as he thought he may be able to sleep, he heard a clatter coming from down the hall and a quick hiss of "shut up Haldir, you're so fucking loud!" Aragorn got up and looked out of his cell to see Legolas and Haldir creeping along the corridor. "Bloody fucking hell! Where did the bastard put that fucker?"
"Who are you looking for?" Aragorn called out. Suddenly, two men were at his cell, both with a hand over his mouth.
"Shut the fuck up you bloody wanker!" Legolas hissed. "We're not supposed to be out of our cell, let alone our block. Now come on," he hit the side of the cell and the door slid open.
"How did you…"
"I'll explain in a minute. But come on, and be quiet!" The three crept down the block to an empty cell.
"What are we doing here?" Without answering, Haldir pushed Legolas and Aragorn in and ran off back to his cell.
"This way," Legolas pulled Aragorn's hand and they slid under the bed into a hole big enough for them to sit comfortably. "So, how are you?" Legolas asked as if this was something he always did.
"Um… what just happened? How did you get out of your cell, and get me out of mine?" Legolas chuckled and pulled a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket and light it, taking a long drag of the tobacco.
"I've been here for ten years. I've gotten to know the place. I can bust the fucking piece of shit they call my cell and I can get out even after lockdown. Now you got lucky. You're in cell 4596 in block D. A few cells there are really old and they bust open if you hit the hinge. 4596 D was my first cell, so I know it pretty well. I think I might have left a few porno magazines and cigarettes down there, who knows. If you find them, have fun." He took another drag and blew the smoke up to the bed.
"How did you do all that?" Aragorn asked as he pointed to Legolas' ears and torso. The man laughed and put his cigarette out on the dirt wall.
"Haldir branded me a few times when we got bored of the usual blow job and ass fuck. The tattoos you get for every year you're here. See?" Legolas turned around to show the man his back and there were seven dotting his lean back. Turning back to face the man, he pointed out the other three and smiled. "Now for the modifications. Haldir pierced my nipple when things got a little too kinky. I've had my belly button done since I was seven, the year before I got caught. The ears however, are new. Haldir and I decided to freak Elrond out so we cut our ears at the tips. Little did we know he was going to have them sewn up, but the fucking doctors here do a shitty job, so we were stuck with pointed ears. Kinda cool though." He ran a finger over his ear and shivered. "Shit!" he swore. "The bitches with the clipboards will be around in five minutes! We've got to get you back!" Legolas stood and pulled himself through the small opening and then helped Aragorn through. "I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast." He winked and ran off, letting Aragorn get himself back to his cell.
*~*
Well, I know it's not great, but what do you think? Please tell me. This is only chapter one, and I think this is going to be a long one, but I'm not sure. Your reviews are so great. I'm a reviewer's whore! I need it to survive. Lol, such a drama queen I know. Please R&R. and please don't flame me about anything I mentioned in the warnings and stuff because I did tell you. Thanks ^-^.
