A/N: once again, I have to thank Infie, for going through this, even with all the work she has. You are the best, Infie! And of course, to all of you who reviewed, thank you all SO much.
Tough Call
Closeness?
Alec's cell phone began to ring. He sprinted to the couch to get his jacket and retrieved the device from one of the pockets. "Yeah…" he drawled. He smiled as he heard the voice on the other end. "Hey Cindy! … Yep, she's here … How she's looking? Brunette, a little skinny, brown eyes …" He laughed. " … that is just very unladylike OC … ok, ok, hold on … yeah, see you tomorrow." He handed Max the phone.
"Yo! Wassup girl?" Alec winced and then smiled, bemused. He really had to teach his girl some adequate speaking skills.
His girl. He sighed. He really liked the sound of that. Yeah, and Max would probably kill him if she knew what he was thinking. He sat down and watched her.
"Oh, come on!" Biggs exclaimed in frustration at the phone he held, then stuffed it back in his pocket. He kicked a trash can as he passed. It wasn't fair! He had been prepared to talk to Alec, which hadn't been easy. He took a deep breath. He'd have to try again later.
He went to his motel room, and efficiently packed up the few belongings he had with him. No point staying in Salem. Even if those Familiars weren't around anymore, Alec had been here. Whatever valuables the exhibition had had in the past, they were gone now.
As he headed towards his car, a small duffel bag over his shoulder, he took his cell phone back out and glared at it for a long moment He took a deep breath and started to dial.
Max tossed and turned, wide awake.
Thinking about Alec.
She still didn't really know anything about him and yet, while sometimes she felt he was a complete stranger, other times she felt she'd known him her entire life.
Max snuggled deeper into the bed. His bed.
Every time she moved, his smell came up from the sheets. It was intoxicating.
She buried her face in the pillow. What the hell was wrong with her? This was Alec!
Wonderful, mysterious Alec.
Alec changed his position on the couch once more. Damn, this was uncomfortable!
Especially knowing she was lying on his bed, just a door away. His bed.
He sighed.
Max hung up the phone and turned to face him. "Is it okay if I crash on the couch? OC has a girl over and..." she said, rolling her eyes.
"No, it's not." Alec said seriously. When she looked at him in surprise, he smiled. "You take my bed, I'll take the couch"
"No, Alec, it's okay, really."
"Oh, but I insist!" he replied gallantly.
Yeah, very gentlemanly. Except the thought of her sleeping on his bed was killing him now!
He flipped on the TV. He just knew he wasn't going to get any sleep.
Biggs was frowning. He eyed the road ahead of him, but his thoughts were completely elsewhere.
'This number has been disconnected.' He'd heard it more than ten times in the course of two hours. He still couldn't believe it. The first couple of times he had ruled it out as some sort of crossed-signals communications error. But after ten times he had given up.
So he was now on his way back to Seattle, after turning his car around when he'd been 50 miles south of Salem! He'd considered other options, like sending Alec a message, a letter even. But he had discarded them all. As much as he dreaded the idea, he had to go warn his friend. He owed Alec that much.
Once again he was overwhelmed by guilt. It just wouldn't go away. It pressed against his ribs, it choked him, it clouded his vision. Telling himself he couldn't have prevented it, he couldn't have known, didn't help at all.
He shook his head and forced his eyes to focus on the road. A shining spot some eight miles ahead caught his eye, and he concentrated his eyesight on it. It was a person. A girl. She was walking by the route.
The moonlight was reflecting on her blond hair, which was what had caught Biggs' attention in the first place. Her march was very determined. As the car closed the distance, she turned around to face the oncoming noise. Biggs noticed she was beautiful. She had a remarkable face. And she was fit, although a little thin. She actually looked like a young, soon to be model. He made himself look away, remembering what trouble the last female in his life had instigated. Just because this girl was perfect, didn't mean he had to..- He stepped on the brakes abruptly, screeching to a halt. Perfect was right. Too damn perfect. He watched her walk towards the car in the rearview mirror. He smiled to himself; if he hadn't realized it before, that stride would have been a glaring tip-off. She moved briskly, with natural ease, but her shoulders were tense and her hands were comfortably loose at her sides. He could see her fingers twitch, and her eyes were now focused on him, after having checked the surrounding area.
He left his hands on the wheel, where she could see them and slowly turned around, nodding at her. "At ease, soldier." He watched her blink warily, a shred of confusion briefly shining in her eyes. "It's okay. X5-511," he added and she relaxed a little. "You can call me Biggs."
She smiled tentatively. "I'm Ralph," she said.
"Ralph? Isn't that like a guy's name?"
She raised her chin defiantly. "I like it."
Biggs smiled now. "Hop in, Ralph. Seems we're headed the same way."
Max got up from bed and put her sweater back on. She had slept for around two hours, but she just wasn't sleepy anymore.
She could hear the TV in the other room and walked that way, silently opening the door in case Alec had fallen asleep. She shouldn't have worried, though. He instantly looked in her direction. She watched him shift into a sitting position and pat the cushion beside him.
"Wanna watch a cowboy movie and a sci-fi movie plus a couple of music vids?" he asked smiling.
"That bad, huh?"
"Yep."
"Then no, thanks." She stood by the couch, looking at the screen. "Couldn't sleep?"
He shrugged.
"Want some milk?" she jested. He only smiled briefly. He seemed to be in a very dark mood. She hated to see him like that. She searched for something to bring him out of it. "Hey, Alec! What do you say we go rob a bank?"
That got his attention.
"Rob a bank?" he looked perplexed.
"Yeah, you know. We sneak into the bank and we grab a couple of bags of money, stored jewelry, some gold ingots, we sneak out …" she trailed off, smiling.
"Max?" he looked at her strangely.
"Well, all right, but don't say I'm the spoilsport later!"
He smiled a little longer this time and she dropped down onto the couch beside him. She swung her legs over the arm of the couch, and lay her head very close to his leg. She looked up at him, smiling.
Alec looked down at her smiling face and his insides churned. She looked so enticing, lying there, so close to him. He actually had to think to stop his hand from going to stroke her hair. He made a fist and looked away, trying to concentrate on the TV, not very successfully.
If he had thought he was uncomfortable before, he'd been sadly mistaken. He considered getting up and moving away to buy himself some breathing room, but thought better of it. He'd have to get used to being around Max like this. He could do it.
She snuggled closer to him and sighed. "Alec…"
"Yeah?" what was wrong with his voice? All of a sudden it was all husky. He cleared his throat.
"How did you choose your last name?"
She managed to surprise him; he had certainly not expected that. He spoke, without tearing his eyes from the TV. "I was signing up to work at Jam Pony, and I realized I needed a last name. I had no idea what to use. But I'd just watched an old movie, and the actor's name was McDowell, so… It was the first thing that came to my mind. Don't even know if it was spelled the same way." He shrugged. "But I liked the way it sounded."
"Alec McDowell. Yep, has a certain… ring to it." She nodded.
"Why?"
"Nothing. Just curious."
For a while, only the sound of soundtrack music could be heard. Then Max asked again. "Alec?"
"Yeah?"
"Why do you like watching TV so much?"
He blinked again, but answered readily enough. "I don't know. At first it was the best way to learn about the outside world. It was fast and expedient. And it was convenient for making conversation. You know, knowing the latest shows, the cool music…" he shrugged. "Then I started to really enjoy what I was seeing. I like watching the news, to know what's going on. And it's also nice to get lost in there, in somebody else's story. Normal people's stories. It's distracting, stops me from thinking." He finished, raising one shoulder. Why was he telling her all this?
After considering his words for a moment, Max started talking. "I can understand that. I used to try to blend in all the time. I'd watch a family through a window and try to picture myself in the midst of them." She paused. "I guess I still do. Try to fit in the normal world, that is." She laughed at herself ironically. "These last few months have proven that to be quite a difficult task. Must be part of the reason I always treated you the way I did. You were the constant reminder that I could never really get away from Manticore." She watched his eyes turn darker, and hastily added, "It was my mistake. Not your fault. Now I know I can't fit. And frankly, I don't think I want to anymore." She finished with a smile, and fell into silence once again.
They stayed that way for a long time, each of them deep in their own thoughts.
Max finally spoke again. "Alec?"
"Yeah?"
"What do you think the baby will be like?"
He hesitated. "Well, beautiful. All babies are beautiful, right?"
"Yeah, ok," she answered.
He glanced briefly at her, before turning off the TV and resting his head on the couch, running his hand through his hair. He made an effort to start talking again. It was painful, but she needed his reassurance. He could see her fear, her insecurity.
Of course, the first thing that came to his mind was 'dark haired', but he couldn't say that, could he? "Max, the baby will be perfect. How could it not be, with a mother that looks like you?" Where did that come from? It was certainly not what he had planned to say, either. He swallowed.
Max raised her head to lock her eyes with his now dark green ones. She could see some emotion simmering in their depths, yet she couldn't place it. But there was no mistaking the other light shining in them.
She hesitated but spoke anyway. "You, er… you think I look 'perfect'?" Apparently huskiness was going around. And did she have to be so pathetic? She wanted to bang her head on the floor, only, she couldn't tear her eyes from him long enough to make any movement.
He looked at her face, so tantalizing, looking up at him. He watched her tongue moisten those full lips. He was hypnotized. Something in the back of his mind was yelling at him, but for the life of him, he couldn't understand what it was saying. He just had to inch closer to her. Just a little bit. Only a little bit more.
When his lips made contact with hers, the world around them disappeared. Time seemed to stretch as Alec's lips moved slowly over hers.
She closed her eyes and placed a shaky hand on his legs, propping herself on her elbows so she could be closer to him. She felt his hand against the back of her head, drawing her to him.
As he invaded her mouth, she felt her arms weaken and abandon her. But instead of falling, she was hauled up. Alec's arm was around her and he lifted her into his lap, his lips never leaving hers.
She pressed herself into him, one hand entangled in the hair at his neck, the other one moving from his chest to his shoulders, testing their strength.
Alec deepened the kiss even more, if possible. He was gentle; he was thorough. And she was lost.
"Alec…" She whispered into his mouth. Desire had taken her, and it was beyond her control now.
The very first lights of dawn could be seen in the distance, making the landscape look even gloomier. The frost sparkled on the trees as the fog was beginning to lift.
He looked at the girl sleeping in the passenger seat and sighed.
When he'd asked her where she was going, she'd simply said Seattle. He'd asked her why, but her only response had been a shrug of her shoulders. He had assumed she'd heard about the transgenics gathering in an abandoned area of the city and asked her as much. A flicker of pain had passed through her beautiful eyes and he had dropped the subject, offering her instead the remaining of his dinner: a bag of potato chips which had probably never even seen a potato in a photograph and a half a bar of chocolate. Ralph had devoured them in an instant, licking her fingers afterward. She was far too thin, as if she hadn't eaten well in a long time. So he had stopped at a Diner to buy her three burgers and two milkshakes, plus a bag of assorted candies.
Biggs sighed again. He used to be darn good at gathering information. He hadn't been on too many missions, but he'd never failed. So how come a pair of pretty, sad eyes got the best of him? He was riding a car with a girl next to him and all the information he had obtained from her was a name. *Way to go, soldier! Is this how they trained you?* His CO would have been very disappointed in him.
She was intoxicating. He was drowning in sensations. She was everything he'd dreamed she'd be, only better.
"Alec…" a long, shaky whisper.
How long had he waited to hear her say his name like that? How long had he longed to kiss her, caress her, have her wrapped around him? It seemed like forever.
He couldn't believe Max was kissing him, Alec.
Was she?
Max was suddenly pushed away and thrust back on the couch. She watched in confusion as Alec stood up and ran a hand through his hair. He was breathing hard and looking everywhere but at her.
She felt lost and reached a hand to touch him. He backed away raising his hands. "Please, don't."
"A-.. Alec?"
He closed his eyes for a second, and when he opened them, there was no trace of his previous torment.
"M-..Max?" he said, imitating her question. The usual smirk reappeared on his face. "Can't get enough of me, huh?"
Max gaped at him open mouthed. Then she stood up and marched to his room.
He winced. *Damn!* He extended his arm to catch her arm as she passed by. Max struggled to release it, but he was prepared for it and held on.
"Max… Max! Look at me!" When she refused, he used his other hand to turn her face to him.
Furious dark eyes looked back at him. But he could also see the hurt in them.
"I'm sorry about that, Max. I guess my mouth is having the same problems yours did tonight." Great, now he was lying to her again. He had known exactly what he was saying. He had been frustrated and had meant to hurt her. He shook the thought off. "I'm sorry." That, at least, was true.
She raised her shoulders and tried to get away once more, but he didn't let her.
"Truth is, Max, I'm the one who can't get enough of you," he said simply.
Max stopped tugging and just looked at him, uncertainty shining in her eyes.
"Right now, I want you so much it hurts," he continued. "But things are complicated enough as they are. We can't just, you know, sleep together, just for the hell of it." At her raised eyebrow, he added, "I know. It's me. But, we're going to be around each other a lot now." He looked at her seriously. "I can't take that chance. Not now." He ran a finger down her face, tracing her features, until it rested on her lips. "Not with you."
She swallowed hard and nodded. After a minute of standing there, they broke out of the trance, and Alec moved to let her pass.
"Max," he said as she was walking through the bedroom door. "Good night."
She gave him her most undecipherable look and said, "Good night, Alec."
He released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He sank onto the sofa, head in his hands.
*Great, Alec, just great.* He'd pulled off the noble, perfect gentleman just fine. He was so pitiful. He'd spent months just trying to get her attention. Sure, he'd found other entertainments, he hadn't been prepared to stay celibate for a girl, no matter how hot she was. Especially when she'd been sort of going out with someone else.
And now, when that particular woman had been willing – which she definitely had been – he…
"Alec?" his head came up swiftly, hadn't she closed the door already? "We'll take it slow." And with that, she eased it closed.
After a few seconds of shock, a lazy smile made its way to Alec's face. Okay, maybe they would work it out.
Max closed the door and leaned against it, smiling.
Okay, so maybe he wasn't as tough as he'd have her, and everyone else, believe.
He hadn't said much tonight, but the few things he had, made her feel less unsure about herself. He was troubled, he was scared sometimes too. Maybe he hadn't craved a normal life as badly as she had, he knew he wasn't going to get it, and accepted it. But he used the tube as an escape. She still didn't know what exactly he was escaping from, but she guessed it had to do with Manticore, and the things they'd done to him or made him do.
And that kiss! It had been the most amazing experience in her whole life. She was still shaking from it.
She'd felt completely outraged, and hurt, when he made that stupid comment afterward. But then he'd been so sweet. She couldn't believe it. The way he'd talked about her. Like she was something special. Something to be treasured.
And then watching him sit there, so… forlorn. She'd felt utterly weak.
He was so complex. The nice, sweet guy he was beginning to let her see, but also the ruthless soldier she had only glimpsed a few times, the lost little boy, the smart aleck she'd first known… All put together, it made up the astounding man that was Alec. She couldn't believe she ever thought she knew him. She was beginning to think she'd never know him, not really.
But she would give it a try.
This baby had given her the chance to assert her feelings, and an opportunity to be around Alec. She was not going to waste it. She wasn't sure what she felt for him yet, but she was going to find out.
She got in the bed and fell instantly asleep, the smile still lingering on her lips.
Biggs made the turn to enter Seattle's first sector checkpoint and sighed. Seemed like he had been doing that a lot lately.
So... wanna review?
