Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Gi Oh or House on Haunted Hill. And just so you know, HoHH is the SINGLE BEST FRICKIN' MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF MOVIE-MAKING!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU SEE THE FIFTIES VERSION OR THE NINETIES VERSION (thought the fifties version is boring in comparison), YOU MUST SEE THIS MOVIE!!! YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO SLEEP FOR WEEKS AFTERWARD!!!!!!!! *coughs nervously* Now that that's on the table, let's begin.

House on Haunted Hill
By FekketC

Chapter 1
Planning, Arriving, and Dropping Expensive Things Over People's Heads

~thunder crashes, creating a stark contrast against the dark sky that for a moment burns the eye. As the light fades the camera zooms out and shows an old man sitting at a desk eating chocolates and doing paperwork. Everything is black, white, and dingy. There is banging on the walls, but the man pays no heed and merely continues his work calmly, occasionally sampling from the box of chocolates.~

Woman (tall, fluffy whitish hair, wearing a stiff dress): *comes in, carrying another box of chocolates* Sir, these are the first of the new flavor they've been testing: Finger-Nuggets.

Man: *opens the box, pulls out a finger-shaped chocolate and takes a bite* Mmm, mmm, that's perfect. We'll start mass-producing them right away.

Woman: Er, sir, about the 'donors', they've been getting restless and I wonder-

Man: *waves his hand* Oh, you worry too much, Jenevieve-

~sirens suddenly start going off, and there is the sound of pounding and screaming~

Woman: Great Scot, the prisoners have escaped-

*the door collapses and a crowd of insane people rush in, grabbing the woman and man and strangling them*

~scene switch to another part of the chocolate factory, where the insane workers are throwing the executives into vats of boiling chocolate or between the chocolate-bar dicing blades~

Man in top hat: *rushes up to lever and pulls it* The Willy Wonka device! *metal slats come down over all windows and doors, sealing the factory just as most of the machines burst into flame*

~suddenly the scene zooms out and the terrifying footage of insane people ripping each other apart is put safely on a TV screen. Zooming further out we see Mokuba Kaiba sitting on a plush couch, watching the documentary on the television~

Mokuba: Woah, ever since public television decided to show INTERESTING stuff, I sure have been learning a lot!

Voice-over on the TV: In 1926 the great factory known as Kaiba Chocolates and Candies was burned to the ground, leaving only a shell of stone and the charred bodies of those trapped inside by the Willy Wonka device, a safety measure to prevent spies from stealing the company's secrets. None of the Kaiba family survived except Kaiba's young son, and today his descendants command Kaiba Corporation. Safe to say they won't be making chocolates any time soon.

Mokuba: Oh, cool, I gotta go tell Seto about this! *gets up and runs out*

TV: When the police began to investigate the factory they soon learned that Kaiba had been conducting experiments with making candy out of human body parts and organs. Some say even today the spirits of those mutilated by Kaiba still roam the rebuilt factory...

~scene switch to a swimming pool, Seto sitting on the edge in full clothing and typing on a laptop~

Mokuba: *runs up* Seto, guess what the TV said!

Seto: *still typing* That's nice.

Mokuba: It said there's this haunted factory that our ancestor owned, and I want to go there for my birthday party!

Seto: That's nice. Invite your friends.

Mokuba: Even Yugi?

Seto: Even Y- *stops, starts thinking* You said this place is haunted?

Mokuba: Well, yeah.

Seto: It might be... dangerous.

Mokuba: Well, sometimes people die when they go in there, but I don't think we'd be in danger with the Millenium Items around.

Seto: Nn-hn. I'll set up this party myself, Mokuba, don't worry.

Mokuba: *eyebrow rises* You're not planning on stealing the Millenium Puzzle, are you?

Seto: Huh? No, I was hoping to see Joey Wheeler pee his pants when he thinks he sees a ghost.

Mokuba: Oh. Yeah, I guess that would be funny.

~scene switch to a dark road at night. Slowly five headlights appear, and the camera switches to the inside of the first one. Yugi is sitting in the backseat, wearing an old blue suit and nervously pawing the Millenium Puzzle. He looks down at the invitation in his hand~

Invitation: You are cordially invited to the birthday of Mokuba Kaiba...

~scene switch to the inside of the second car, where Joey, dressed in dirty jeans and a black t-shirt, is stuffing his pockets with the complementary mints. During his raid he finds his own crumpled invitation in his pocket~

Invitation: A night filled with shivering terrors, betrayal, and maybe even MURDER...

~scene switch to Tea, sitting primly in the backseat of the third car, dressed in a dark blue secondhand pantsuit and reading her own invitation~

Invitation: Take a step back to the horrible carnage of the 1920's, maybe even catch a glimpse of Old Man Kaiba himself...

~scene switch to Tristan, sitting with his legs up on the seat, picking his nose and reading his own invitation~

Invitation: And have the chance to earn at least a million dollars after staying the entire night in...

~scene switch to Bakura, wearing his normal clothes and the Millenium Ring, reading his own invitation seriously~

Invitation: ...the House on Haunted Hill.

~the caravan comes to a stop in front of a tall gate, and everyone starts to get out~

Girl (long brown hair and a British accent, dressed in torn jeans and a red t-shirt): *comes running up, waving her arms* Get back in your cars!

~everyone hesitates, then obeys~

Girl: Now, everyone get out! Come on, I don't have all day!

Yugi: *climbs out of his car and shuts the door* Why'd you tell us to get back in if you wanted us to get out?

Girl: Well, duh, I'm the groundskeeper, I do all sorts of freaky stuff! *looks down at Yugi* Well, the factory is this way-

Bakura: Hold up a moment, I thought it was a house.

Girl: Hey, bud, I'm the only one around here with an accent!

Bakura: Bloody darvy!

Girl: *blink* Never mind, we'll share. And no, it's a factory.

Joey: *looks around* I don't see no hill.

Girl: Of course, dimwit, this is flatland.

Tea (slowly): So, if it's not a house, and it's not on a hill...

Girl: It must be haunted!!!

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Girl: Come on, come on, the party's waiting and then I'm getting out of here.

Tea: Oh, you're not staying for the party?

Girl: *laughs insanely* Hell, no!

Everyone: *exchanges nervous glances, BIG sweatdrop*

Yugi: *as the girl leads them through the open gates* So, Seto owns this place?

Girl: Nah. I do. He's just renting it for the night. I got the deed from my grandfather, who built it originally. Frankly I hate this place; it gives me nightmares. That's why I'm just going in, getting the rent money, and getting out.

Tea: So, is it dangerous in there?

Girl: *laughs* Kid, you have more chances of being dissected by alien overlords then you do of being killed by a ghost.

Joey: So there aren't any ghosts in there?

Girl: No. I was being optimistic. Actually, there's a buttload of ghosts in there just waiting to tear you all apart. But I won't be there, so- *opens huge double doors, leads the way in*

Bakura: Roomy. Not.

Tristan: *looks around at the huge entrance hall, tastefully decorated with pictures of chocolate bars* Oh, I don't know, Bakura, this place is okay. Lots of chocolate.

Tea: *walks in, looks up at the ceiling* Holy crap, what is that?!

Girl: *looks up at the net full of Ming vases* Oh, that was there when I inherited the place. It's supposed to be Impressionist or something. Really, everybody who tries to keep this place in shape winds up going a little nutty eventually.

Everyone: *exchange glances, sweatdrop*

~the double doors suddenly swing open and Mokuba walks in, dressed in a white t-shirt and black jeans~

Mokuba: Guys, I'm so glad you came-

~suddenly the net's support rope snaps and the Ming vases start to crash downward toward the partygoers~

Girl: Holy s- *Joey pushes her out of the way and ducks for cover*

Yugi: Mokuba! *tackles Mokuba, the two roll to the edge of the room*

Ming vases: *shatter into millions of shards which go flying everywhere. One huge sharp peice imbeds itself in the wall right in front of Mokuba's nose*

~as the dust starts to clear everyone gets up, brushing themselves off~

Yugi: Is everyone alright?

Girl: *stands up* Freaking Grandpa, hanging Ming vases in a net, what a frickin' idiot! *turns to Mokuba, bows hurriedly* Hello, Master Kaiba, I hope you enjoy your stay. Now, where's my check so I can get the hell out of here?!

Mokuba: Don't ask me, ask my brother.

Seto: *suddenly standing behind the girl* Hello, Fiona.

Fiona: *jumps ten feet into the air, turns and grabs Seto by the shirt collar* My blood pressure is currently THIS high! Do NOT sneak up on me unless you want your freaking head kicked off!

Seto: Jeesh, relax, already.

Mokuba: Man, that was cool, Seto, with the vases.

Seto: *puts on innocent look* What do you mean, Mokuba?

Mokuba: Oh, come on, I know you've set up the whole place to scare me. This is gonna be like April Fools in October!

Seto: Mokuba, I wouldn't put you in that kind of danger-

Fiona: *still holding Kaiba's collar* Check, please.

Seto: *sigh* Alright, alright. *leads everyone out of the entrance hall and into the huge conveyor belt room, which is dimly lit and covered in dust and grime* Welcome to Kaiba Chocolates and Candies, everyone. As you can see the machinery has been completely rebuilt. You'll have time to explore later, but for now I'll take you upstairs to Old Man Kaiba's office. *leads the way up a creaking set of metal stairs*

Yugi: This place really is cool, Kaiba. Eh, Fiona, could you please stop stepping on the back of my feet?

Fiona: *huddling up close to Yugi, looking around and whimpering* I just want my money, I just want to get out of this place...

Tristan: Hey, chill out, I mean, have you ever actually seen a ghost in this place?

Fiona: Oh, have I seen ghosts? I have seen things that would drive a man insane...

Everyone: *exchange glances, sweatdrop*

~at last they reach the study, which has been refurbished with a computer and printer~

Seto: *sits down, draws checkbook and pen from his pocket* Now, could I please have your names?

Fiona: Fiona Canteberry, afraid of spiders, werewolves, ghosts and shovels, good friend of FekketC who uses this fear to torture her friend in fics. Irate caretaker of a creepy old house.

Yugi: Yugi Moto, world class Duel Monsters champion.

Tea: Tea, world class git. *covers mouth with her hand*

Fiona: AHA, SEE?!?!??!?! THE SPIRITS ARE ALREADY AT WORK!!!

Joey: Joey Wheeler, also world class Duel Monsters champion as well as suave cool ladies man.

Tristan: Oh, I was gonna say that... Tristan. Um, needlenoggin. *covers mouth with his hand*

Fiona: *waits* Nope, that was a Froidian Slip, sorry.

Bakura: Ryuu Bakura, Duel Monsters player, vessel of a psychotic theif's spirit, and hater of dark passages and spiders.

Fiona: *blink* He's crazy, he's got a British accent, AND he's a coward! He's my... SOULMATE!!!

Bakura: *sweatdrop, backs away*

Kaiba: Well, that settles it. *turns to them* I have never heard of any of you.

BUM BUM BUM!!!

--------------------------------

Eh, okay, that was pretty dumb for a start. Next chapter some freaky stuff starts happening, and we have our first death! Woot! Guess who it is!
Fiona:I give up.
Me: Erm, well...
Fiona: No, seriously, who is it?
Me: I haven't found a big enough hat yet.
Fiona: YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!
Me: n.n Oh, of course I do, dumbhead! *puts everyone's names in a cowboy hat*
Fiona: My name better not be in there, bakana elf girl...
Me: O_O REVIEW BEFORE FIONA KILLS ME!!! HURRY!!!