Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Gi Oh or House on Haunted Hill.
Fiona: *staring at me veeeeery hard*
Me: *slowly* What? What is it, Fi?
Fiona: In the movie, the rich guy and his wife hate each other and plot to kill each other. In this fic, the equivalent is Seto and Mokuba. But if you write about them hating each other and plotting to kill each other, I swear I will rip your tongue out.
Me: *_____* *thinking: I want to keep my tongue!!!*
Fiona: And so you shall.
Me: *__________________* Message received.

House on Haunted Hill
By FekketC

Chapter 3
I Know What You Did Last Time We Threw A Party

Yami: *looks up at Tea serenely, then back down at the tank. His face expressionless, he tips forward and plunges into the reddish-brown liquid that fills the tank*

Tea: YAMI!!! *runs up the metal staircase, kneels on the edge of the tank* YAMI!!! *a hand reaches up out of the liquid, waving desperately. Tea grabs it just as it sinks back down. Up to the shoulders in the liquid, she pulls and heaves, trying to drag her friend out of the thick, slimy liquid*

Voice: What are you doing, Tea?!

Tea: *looks up and sees Yugi standing at the gate to the chicken wire area, one eyebrow raised in confusion* Yugi? But, if you're there, then who- *screams as whatever she's holding starts to pull her into the tank*

Yugi: TEA!!! *runs up the staircase, grabs Tea around the waist, and manages to help pull her out*

Tea: *gasping for breath, crying* What... What is that stuff?!

Yugi: I smell chocolate. *looks at Tea's arms* But it looks red on your arms.

Yugi and Tea: *look at each other*

~scene switch to the conveyor belt room~

Joey: I ACCUSE Mr. Green of doing it in the Hall with the Candlestick.

Tristan: *grins evilly at Bakura* You know what we do to murderers, Bakura. Better hope he got it wrong.

Bakura: *sweating*

Joey: *opens the tiny brown envelope and with a dramatic flourish pulls out the three cards* *slowly looks up at Bakura, an evil grin coming over his face* You know the price for murdering Mr. Body, Bakura...

Bakura: *leaps to his feet, backs away* No, really, I swear, I didn't do it! I was framed-

Joey, Tristan and Mokuba: ATOMIC WEDGIE TIME!!! *run at Bakura*

(Author's Note: This is how we play the game in my house. It's as fun as it sounds, unless it turns out you're the murderer...)

Bakura: *as the others tackle him* NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIEEEEEEEEE!!!

Tristan: Jeesh, Bakura, it's just a game.

Tea and Yugi: *appear in the doorway* What are you guys doing?

Joey, Tristan and Mokuba: *look up at them, leap off of Bakura* Nothing.

Yugi: *slowly* Were you guys about to give him an atomic wedgie?!

Bakura: *gets up* Yes!

Joey, Tristan and Mokuba: *look at each other, point at Bakura* HE STARTED IT!!!

Tea: *sits down on the couch, grabs a handful of napkins from the snack table and starts wiping the red liquid off of her arms*

Yugi: *sits down beside her* You okay?

Tea: At least you're talking normally and not having an Abbot-and-Costello slap fight with Yami.

Yugi: *blink* What?

Joey: Man, this party is boring. What happened to you, Tea?

Tea: What happened?! WHAT HAPPENED?! I WAS ALMOST PULLED INTO A VAT OF BLOOD THE SIZE OF A BUICK!!!

Yugi: I still say it was chocolate.

Voice: It was blood-flavored chocolate. And no artificial flavoring, either.

Everyone: *looks up and sees Fiona and Seto standing there*

Fiona: The Old Man used to whip up a batch of blood-flavored candy every Halloween. Everyone who ate the stuff wondered how he got the strange flavoring to taste so authentic. In reality there were hundreds of people trapped down there, the unwilling donors to his sick recipes.

Tea: I'm not going back down there. No way, no how.

Mokuba: Hmph. You guys are faking. It's all set up just to scare me.

Tea: Mokuba, I'm not lying! Some of this stuff seems fake, and I agree with you when you say you're brother's playing tricks on us. But this was real.

Tristan: So you really think this place is haunted?

Tea: I don't know what I saw, but so far I can only say it was a ghost or something.

Tristan: Alright! *grabs camcorder out of bag, turns it on and grabs a quick pan shot of the room full of shocked faces* I borrowed this from one of the guys at school, and said I'd bring back some footage of real ghosts!

Fiona: GIVE ME THAT THING!!! *tries to snatch the camera out of his hands* Don't you see? You'll go somewhere, and then we'll find your mangled corpse, and then when we rewind the tape to see if you caught footage of your killer, it'll jump out of the camera and murder us, too!!!

Everyone but Fiona: *blank look, sweatdrop*

Seto: I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to go wandering off- *looks around* Where'd he go?

Tristan: *halfway down the stone steps* I'll be back in a few, guys! Just gonna go get some shots of Old Man Kaiba!

Seto: *sighs* No one listens to me.

Fiona: *huddling next to Bakura* I know. No one listens to me, either. I said, 'Don't rent this place for a party, you'll all die', but does anyone listen? Noooooo.

Joey: why do I get the feeling I'm forgetting something? *looks at Bakura* Oh yeah! Wedgie time!

Bakura: NOOOOOOOO- *being chased around by Mokuba and Joey*

~scene switch to the basement, where Tristan is wandering around filming the glass tanks with bodies floating in them~

Tristan: Man, this place is so cool! Like a funhouse, only it's old and the dead people are real! *wanders down a hall lined with cells* This must be the place where the Old Man kept those people. Man, that must've been rough. *turns off the camera, raises his voice* Hey, guys, if I had been here when this happened, trust me, I would've broken you out! I mean, I'm good at that! There was this one time wth Mokuba- *stops talking when he reached the room at the end, looks to the side and sees the chicken wire-fenced area with the huge vat* That must be where Tea and Yugi got spooked. *starts to walk towards it but stops* What-

~a faint sound, almost inaudible, drifts to his ears. It is the sound of a person whimpering and groaning in pain, begging for help in a place where none is offered~

Tristan: What the... *turns and looks towards the operating tables that line the wall* Man, this is weird. I've got to get this on tape. *raises the camera to film the operating tables* *whispers* What the-

~standing around the table on the end are three people dressed in doctor's clothes. The first is a doctor in a white coat, the second is a nurse holding a trayful of tools and a small covered vat, and the third is another nurse standing behind an old fashioned camera. The three are intently staring at the person lying in the bed, who is strapped to the table with his shirt unbuttoned~

Tristan: *looks at the image in the camera, then looks up at the bed in real life; camera = freaky operation; real life = old table*

Doctor guy (heard faintly through the tiny speakers on the camera): Now, time to have your operation.

Man on the table: But, I like my stomach! I want to keep it!

Doctor: But we will be making candies out of it! You can have some if you like.

Man: But I won't have a stomach! I'll be dead!

Doctor: Well if you don't want the candy, don't eat any! *stabs the man with a scalpel, the man coughs, shudders, and dies*

Tristan: *backing out of the room and back into the corridor, still watching the sickening plot unfold* I've got to get out of here-

~suddenly, the doctor and two nurses freeze on his camera screen, then very slowly look up at Tristan~

Tristan: FREAKING HELL!!! *turns, sees something* *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP-* *cut off as something swoops down on him*

~scene switch to the conveyor belt room, everyone is sitting around playing Clue except for Bakura and Fiona, who are sitting to the side and talking about schizophrenia~

~suddenly Tristan's bleep rends the air and everyone leaps to their feet~

Yugi: That sounded like Tristan!

Fiona: Oh, man, I told him that camera was bad news!

Mokuba: *sighs* Will you guys quit acting already?! *gets up, walks to the top of the staircase that leads to the basement* I'm going to go down there.

Fiona: No, not the child, too! *stops* Wait, he's GOT to be a virgin, right? Tell me he's a virgin!

Seto: *blinks, starts to follow Mokuba down into the basement* Mokuba, I'll make you a deal! If it turns out I didn't do this, you'll tell me if you're a virgin or not.

Mokuba: *bleep* you!

Everyone but Seto and Mokuba: *sighs, follow the two down into the basement*

~after a few minutes of wandering through the corridors they finally come to the room with the operating tables. Seto grabs Mokuba's shoulder and holds him back, but not before the youngest party-goer sees the blood splattered everywhere, from the floor to ceiling to all over the walls~

Fiona: *walks in, looks around, nods calmly* Yep. Told him.

Tea: He has to be around here, somewhere! I brought bandages in my backpack-

Fiona: *sigh, turns and starts screaming at Tea* DON'T YOU GET IT?! HE DOESN'T JUST HAVE A FEW PAPERCUTS OR A BROKEN ARM!!! HE'S DEAD!!! D-E-A-D-DEAD!!!! HE'S CHOPPED UP INTO TINY LITTLE PEICES, STREWN AROUND AND CURRENTLY FERTILIZING THE FUNGUS GROWING IN ONE OF THE CELLS!!!

Yugi: *touches the blood pooling on the floor, raises a finger and smells it* It's blood, alright. Doesn't smell like chocolate, either. This stuff's fresh.

Joey: TRISTAN!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Bakura: *picks up the camera* Well, here's the camera. Maybe- *glances at Fiona, who sighs and nods* Maybe he caught his killer on tape.

Everyone: *gathers around as Bakura hits rewind, stop, and play*

~at first the camera only shows fuzz, but after a few moments it clears to show-~

Seto: AUGH, MOKUBA, COVER YOUR EYES!!!

Mokuba: Cool!

Bakura: *blushes, stops the tape* Oops, guess I was fast forwarding. He's taping over his favorite Beance Noles videos.

Seto: *slaps forehead* I would rather have my little brother and only LIVING family watch Tristan being torn limb from limb than to watch that erotic crap!

Mokuba: *grabs camera, rewinds, stops, pushes play* Well, here we go. Um, it's just staring at those operating tables as he backs away. Weird. Then it whirls around, and there's like this swooping darkness, and then the camera crashes to the ground and films the wall and some screaming for a few minutes, then cut to black, then Beance dancing on top of a convertible-

Seto: *snatches camera from his hands*

Mokuba: You never let me have any fun!

Seto: You're having fun now, aren't you?

Mokuba: Aha! So you DID set this up!

Seto: No, I didn't!

Mokuba: Tell me, big brother, did you just have Tristan act out this whole thing and then run and hide, or did you really kill him?

Seto: I had nothing to do with this! I was up there with you, remember?

Mokuba: An empty alibi! You could have had it set up in advance!

Everyone but Mokuba and Seto: *watching the fight like a tennis match*

Seto: Look, either be quiet or-

Mokuba: Or what? *suddenly reaches into his pocket, pulls out the gun and points it at Seto* You can't send me to my room here, Seto!

Seto: Oh, come on, like I would really give you a loaded gun-

Mokuba: *turns, aims at the bare wall and fires three shots as everyone else covers their ears against the shockingly loud noise in the tiny space*

Seto: Wha... But...

Mokuba: I'm going to sleep in one of the upstairs rooms. I'll be staying until morning or until someone manages to get the doors open. Anyone bugs me before then, they get their head blown off. *turns, walks away down the corridor*

Seto: *staring in his direction with a blank look on his face*

Yugi: Woah... Seto, your brother's a bitch...

Seto: Where did I go wrong?!

Tea: It's alright, Seto, we're all a little uptight. Just let him sleep and tomorrow we'll have a normal birthday party somewhere far from here.

Bakura: *whispers to Fiona* She's about to go into one of her friendship speeches, we might want to clear out.

Fiona: *nods* Right. *the two sneak out, and soon the others follow. Everyone but Mokuba and, obviously, Tristan, soon gather again in the conveyor belt room*

Seto: Do you think he'll be safe up there?

Fiona: Of course not! None of us are safe while we're in this *bleep*ing house!

Seto: I think I'll go check on him.

Joey: *as Seto leaves the room, makes a motion with his finger like putting a gun to his head and firing, the others roll their eyes*

~scene switch to Seto, who barges into the office and wrenches the bust of Old Man Kaiba. The wall slides back and Seto rushes into the room~

Seto: How is he doing it? Computer, show footage of- *stops, stares at the black main screen* Computer? *hears a buzzing, looks down and sees an axe sticking out of the computer tower, buzzing and crackling with electricity* COMPUTER!!!

~suddenly Seto's eye is caught by one of the figures moving on one of the surveilance screens. It is a tall man in a white labcoat, with a mustache and spectacles. As Seto looks on, the man slowly looks up at the camera. Just as his eyes meet the camera he begins to violently search his pockets, finally stopping and holding up a tiny voodoo doll. Seto's eyes widen as the man grins up at him, then walks off screen~

Seto: What the... *looks up at the next screen, which is placed in the room where Mokuba is sleeping against the wall* *grits his teeth* Okay, bro, you play my game, I'll play yours. *turns* GAH!!!

Fiona: What's that supposed to mean? About a game?

Seto: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!

Fiona: *holds up pack of batteries* Figured I'd get some extra, in case mine ran out and my flashlight goes out in the middle of the basement and all I can do is scream until the mustache guy comes and eats me. Well, bye. *turns, walks away*

Seto: *blink* I swear that girl is crazy. Now to find that mustache guy. *heads out of the room*

~a music montage starts set to 'Who Do You Think You Are', as Seto walks down the corridor towards the door~

~scene switch to Yugi and Tea pounding on the front doors with a battering ram made from a wood column~ The race is on to get out of the bottom...

~scene switch to Bakura and Fiona running down random corridors, checking a map Fiona is holding~ The top is high so your roots are forgotten...

~scene switch to Joey wandering around with Tristan's camcorder, his gun in his other hand~ Giving is good, as long as you're getting...

~scene switch to Seto walking around angrily in the basement, his gun in his hand, opening doors and peering inside~ What's driving you is ambition, I'm betting...

~scene switch to Mokuba sitting in his room, his eyes closed. Suddenly his eyes open and he looks up in shock as the door swings open~ I said who do you think you are... do you think you are?

~scene switch to Fiona and Bakura opening a door and seeing a small boy and a winged walrus playing Go Fish at a poker table. Fiona and Bakura look at each other, and slowly close the door~ I said who... Some kind of superstar? You have got to-

~scene switch to Seto, still opening doors and peering in~ Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are?

~scene switch to Yugi and Tea just pounding on the front doors and windows, trying to knock them open~ Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it, show me how good you are...

~scene switch to Bakura and Fiona in front of the Eiffel Tower, suddenly their berets fall off and the Paris skyline backdrop falls over to reveal a host of Scooby Doo-esque ghosts~ Swing it, shake it, move it, make it, who do you think you are?

~Seto appears and shoots at the ghosts, who grab their paychecks and run~ Trust it, use it, prove it, groove it, show how good you are... *song end*

Bakura: Okay, I didn't get that. What was with the Paris thing?

Fiona: Search me, I ain't the one writing the fic. *turns to Seto* So those were the guys you hired to scare Mokuba?

Seto: *blushes slightly* I just wanted him to have a scary party!

Fiona: *eyebrow rises* Scooby Doo villains? Puh-leeze.

~suddenly the lights begin to flicker and buzz. The three look up, then rush out of the room. They meet Yugi, Tea and Joey in the corridor, and they all look at each other~

Tea: Maybe it's a power surge-

Fiona: HOLY *bleep*!!! The electroshock room!

~everyone looks at each other, then runs down the hall and into the room. Sure enough the equipment is buzzing and crackling, and strapped to the tray is Mokuba~

---------

O.O Heh heh, I hope Fiona doesn't read that... *putting on hockey goalie gear* At least not until I put on the proper protection... *finishes putting on goalie gear, then starts putting on a suit of knight's armor over that* Hmm, still not enough... *straps herself to end of crane rope which then starts to lower her into a vat of concrete* By the way folks, next time there's another music montage (readers: NOOOOOOOOOO...), Seto has some wacky dreams, and the plot thickens... like chicken... Read and Review or I'll send Fiona and the creepy mustache guy after y- *submerged in concrete*