"Back to me / I know that it comes / Back to me / Doesn't it scare you? /
Your will is not as strong / As it used to be" John Mayer, Back To You
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Another day floated by at school, very long and very boring. Suze didn't show up again either. Her campaign was looking terrible. People were like, "Suze who?" Hah, it figures. CeeCee and Adam posted signs in the classrooms that said "Simon says Vote for Suze".
"Is that something you came up with, or has Suze finally started showing interest in her own campaign?" I asked CeeCee as she was hanging a poster on the back wall of Mr. Walden's classroom. "If you want to know," CeeCee said as she turned around to face me, "Suze came up with it." "How is she doing by-the-way?" I asked, very interested. "Her feet are disgusting," CeeCee said with a disgusted look on her face, "But other than that, she seems okay." "Has she said anything?" I asked. CeeCee raised a white eyebrow, "Uh, besides that her feet hurt and her contribution to her campaign, not really." "Good," I said with a grin. I walked to my desk and plopped into it with relief.
Each minute felt like an hour. Each hour felt like a day. That's how slow school went. I guess it was just not the same since...oh nevermind. Stick to #1 on the plan, I reminded myself. It was harder than I thought, keeping up with it. Time just went so slowly, I had to think of something to pass the time. So, yes, my mind occasionally drifted to thoughts of Suze. I was just thinking about us AFTER the plan. So technically I was abiding by #1, wasn't I?
In my last class, Religion, I stared at the clock the entire time. "In Phase I, the sacrament of Reconciliation was public, rather than private. People would confess their sins aloud to the assembly. Saint Augustine even published a book called 'Confessions' in which he wrote of his sins," Sr. Ruth droned. It was quite interesting how someone could find the courage to write a whole book about his sins. If I wrote a book about every wrong I had done in the past week, I could fill volumes and volumes. It must have been weird for people during that time to just flat-out confess. What if some guy cheated on his wife? Not only would she find out, but also his neighbors and his family would know. I bet they never looked at him the same again.
Sr. Ruth dismissed the class, interrupting my musings. I went home quickly, trying to avoid Kelly at all costs. I was not in the mood for campaigning. I just wanted to get home.
I walked up to my front door slowly, taking in the Californian afternoon. It was about eighty degrees outside, nice tennis weather. Of course, I had no one to play tennis with. Great. That got me all depressed. Pops couldn't play because of his 'sickness'. My family was all the way in Seattle, so they were out. Kelly would break a nail. Suze hates my guts (when she's not in my bedroom kissing me, of course). I couldn't play with Slash, because it would look like a floating tennis racket serving the ball. Life sucks. Oh, but life wouldn't suck for long. After my plan, I would have everything I could possibly want. Pops wouldn't have to play sick anymore, I could get my family to move to California, Kelly would be my mindless pawn, and Suze would love me.
I got into my house and suddenly got the chills. It must have been at least twenty degrees cooler in my house than it was outside.
"Pops? Mark? I'm home," I called from downstairs, awaiting a response. After a few minutes of dead silence, I went upstairs curiously. A note was attatched to the steel fridge in the kitchen. It said:
Paul, your grandfather and I are enjoying a nice stroll on the beach. We'll be back before dinner. Take care, Mark.
So that made me home alone. I ripped the note off of the fridge and crumpled it in my hand. I stalked off to my room and chucked it in the trash bin near my computer desk. I plopped down on my bed with a sigh.
I don't know, for some reason I felt like shouting or something. But then I figured it would be pretty pointless because no matter how loud I yelled, no one would have heard me, because I was alone. It made me think of that old riddle: If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
I turned my body to face my window. It was really bright outside. I could see why Mark and Pops got out of this cold house to enjoy the warmth of the beach. I rolled out of my bed and stood by my window, looking out onto the ocean. It made me think of Laurel. The ocean, I mean. She died there. Her body was probably still out there, wafting in the waves.
I wondered about how it was like to be dead. Not as in I-died-and-now-I'm- a-ghost dead. Just being dead...dead as a doornail. And if I was dead...what would happen to the world around me? I guess it would go on without me...leaving me behind as just another missing part. Somehow that just didn't seem satisfying enough. Truth is, no one would miss me. My parents would have just lost their 'normal' son. Pops would have just lost a stubborn grandson. Kelly would just lose her running mate. Suze would lose the only other obstacle, besides Jesse being dead, that kept them from being together.
If I did die, and I had to re-evaluate my life then and there...what would I say about it? Would I find stuff that I had missed when I was living? Would I find better solutions to my problems? The questions that kept swimming in my brain were what I usually referred to as UEQ's...Ultimate Existence Questions. The most common of those is the one I'm sure most people have asked at least once: Why was I put on this earth? And I guess no one figures it out until they leave this world.
I felt Slash materialize next to me. He looked at me with a puzzled expression as I continued staring at the sea. Then he turned his head and watched with me. We stood there for a good half-hour, in silence. Slash eventually broke it.
"I sure missed a lot while I was gone, didn't I?" Slash asked as he put a strong hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, where were you?" I asked curiously. "Out and about," Slash replied generally. That's the thing about ghosts, they never tell you about what they do when they aren't bothering you. They can follow you all day long and pry into your business, but you can never get a peep out of them about theirs. I could tail Slash if I really wanted, but the thought never really crossed my mind.
"What happened to the little charity case?" Slash asked as he played with his handlebar mustache. "Laurel? She went to the Great Beyond," I replied solemnly. "How's the vice president thing going?" Slash asked. "I'm ahead, I think," I stated. "Oh," Slash replied, "What about that Suze girl?" "She hasn't been at school since the other day. Her feet got messed up," I answered, suddenly becoming interested in a seagull. "Anything else I should know?" Slash asked, a little annoyed by my curtness with him.
"Life reeks," I said as I turned to face him, "But I made a plan, so hopefully that will change." "Plan, huh?" Slash inquired as he scratched his chin. I went into all of the details of my plan, step by step. After hearing my genius scheme, Slash said with a hearty chuckle, "That's the Paulie I know! You haven't changed a bit."
Slash and I chatted all night about various topics. I even went into details about what happened with Laurel and the VP thing. Slash listened with interest and even put in his two cents. It felt good to talk to someone finally. I feel pretty lame saying this but...Slash was my best friend. He was a ghost for goodness sakes! All I can say is he was treating me better than anyone that was ALIVE did.
"It's bedtime now, Paulie," Slash teased as he looked at the clock. "It's only nine, Slash," I said as I threw a pillow at him. "Do you want me to tuck you in?" Slash threatened with a laugh. "Fine, I'll go to bed," I groaned, "But I have to take a shower first." "Okay, but 'member that you need some sleep. The election is tomorrow. And you hafta do that plan of yours," Slash reminded me. "Fine. Thanks DAD," I said as I rolled my eyes. I wondered if Slash had any kids when he was alive. Every time I asked him questions about his life, he would avoid it.
*
The next day, I stood with Kelly and them at assembly. I heard CeeCee squeal, "Suze! Thank God you're back! You have some MAJOR campaigning to do!" I turned around to look at Suze, looking as beautiful as ever. She even wore her hair down in soft-looking waves. Suze hobbled over to where CeeCee and Adam were standing. Adam saw her struggles and offered some help. "I have no pity for you, Simon," CeeCee said as she shook her head at Suze's pitiful condition. "Nice to see you too, Cee," Suze said sarcastically, "From now on, I'll only wear Aerosols, I promise.
Father Dom spoke over the intercom; "Today is the election for junior class president. The election will take place at lunch. And let's all remember to remind our parents about the feast of Father Serra, which will take place here at the mission tomorrow starting at ten o'clock. There will be food and games and music and fun. Susannah Simon, after assembly, would you please come to the principal's office? That is all."
What could all that be about? Suze didn't seem worried about it, because she smiled and waved good-bye to her friends. All during first period I couldn't help but be curious about what Suze was going to say at the meeting. Would she tell Father Dom about me? I had to know...it was just eating at me. So I put my most miserable face and walked up to Mr. Walden and asked, "Please, can I go to the nurse?" "Sure, Paul, you don't look so good. Let me write you a pass," Mr. Walden replied as he scribbled a pass.
Instead of going to the nurse, I ventured to the principal's office. It was practically on the other side of the mission. I saw Suze walking down the breezeway, looking very upset. I closed my eyes and materialized behind a column, and when she got close enough, I leapt out and went, "Hey."
I shouldn't have to tell you she was a little surprised.
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A/N: Hey, folks. Happy St. Patty's day (I'm a little bit Irish). I love Spring Break! I've been reading and writing and shopping...having a total blast! This chapter was short...my deepest apologies. But I promise next chapter will be better! Suze is back! That may give Paul something to smile about. He was acting sort of depressed in the beginning. I guess he was feeling down because not many people reviewed last chapter. I felt his pain...sniffle. Mystique Angelique...Paul and I thank you for reviewing! I'll stop the guilt trip, sorry! Love...Hayley!
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Another day floated by at school, very long and very boring. Suze didn't show up again either. Her campaign was looking terrible. People were like, "Suze who?" Hah, it figures. CeeCee and Adam posted signs in the classrooms that said "Simon says Vote for Suze".
"Is that something you came up with, or has Suze finally started showing interest in her own campaign?" I asked CeeCee as she was hanging a poster on the back wall of Mr. Walden's classroom. "If you want to know," CeeCee said as she turned around to face me, "Suze came up with it." "How is she doing by-the-way?" I asked, very interested. "Her feet are disgusting," CeeCee said with a disgusted look on her face, "But other than that, she seems okay." "Has she said anything?" I asked. CeeCee raised a white eyebrow, "Uh, besides that her feet hurt and her contribution to her campaign, not really." "Good," I said with a grin. I walked to my desk and plopped into it with relief.
Each minute felt like an hour. Each hour felt like a day. That's how slow school went. I guess it was just not the same since...oh nevermind. Stick to #1 on the plan, I reminded myself. It was harder than I thought, keeping up with it. Time just went so slowly, I had to think of something to pass the time. So, yes, my mind occasionally drifted to thoughts of Suze. I was just thinking about us AFTER the plan. So technically I was abiding by #1, wasn't I?
In my last class, Religion, I stared at the clock the entire time. "In Phase I, the sacrament of Reconciliation was public, rather than private. People would confess their sins aloud to the assembly. Saint Augustine even published a book called 'Confessions' in which he wrote of his sins," Sr. Ruth droned. It was quite interesting how someone could find the courage to write a whole book about his sins. If I wrote a book about every wrong I had done in the past week, I could fill volumes and volumes. It must have been weird for people during that time to just flat-out confess. What if some guy cheated on his wife? Not only would she find out, but also his neighbors and his family would know. I bet they never looked at him the same again.
Sr. Ruth dismissed the class, interrupting my musings. I went home quickly, trying to avoid Kelly at all costs. I was not in the mood for campaigning. I just wanted to get home.
I walked up to my front door slowly, taking in the Californian afternoon. It was about eighty degrees outside, nice tennis weather. Of course, I had no one to play tennis with. Great. That got me all depressed. Pops couldn't play because of his 'sickness'. My family was all the way in Seattle, so they were out. Kelly would break a nail. Suze hates my guts (when she's not in my bedroom kissing me, of course). I couldn't play with Slash, because it would look like a floating tennis racket serving the ball. Life sucks. Oh, but life wouldn't suck for long. After my plan, I would have everything I could possibly want. Pops wouldn't have to play sick anymore, I could get my family to move to California, Kelly would be my mindless pawn, and Suze would love me.
I got into my house and suddenly got the chills. It must have been at least twenty degrees cooler in my house than it was outside.
"Pops? Mark? I'm home," I called from downstairs, awaiting a response. After a few minutes of dead silence, I went upstairs curiously. A note was attatched to the steel fridge in the kitchen. It said:
Paul, your grandfather and I are enjoying a nice stroll on the beach. We'll be back before dinner. Take care, Mark.
So that made me home alone. I ripped the note off of the fridge and crumpled it in my hand. I stalked off to my room and chucked it in the trash bin near my computer desk. I plopped down on my bed with a sigh.
I don't know, for some reason I felt like shouting or something. But then I figured it would be pretty pointless because no matter how loud I yelled, no one would have heard me, because I was alone. It made me think of that old riddle: If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
I turned my body to face my window. It was really bright outside. I could see why Mark and Pops got out of this cold house to enjoy the warmth of the beach. I rolled out of my bed and stood by my window, looking out onto the ocean. It made me think of Laurel. The ocean, I mean. She died there. Her body was probably still out there, wafting in the waves.
I wondered about how it was like to be dead. Not as in I-died-and-now-I'm- a-ghost dead. Just being dead...dead as a doornail. And if I was dead...what would happen to the world around me? I guess it would go on without me...leaving me behind as just another missing part. Somehow that just didn't seem satisfying enough. Truth is, no one would miss me. My parents would have just lost their 'normal' son. Pops would have just lost a stubborn grandson. Kelly would just lose her running mate. Suze would lose the only other obstacle, besides Jesse being dead, that kept them from being together.
If I did die, and I had to re-evaluate my life then and there...what would I say about it? Would I find stuff that I had missed when I was living? Would I find better solutions to my problems? The questions that kept swimming in my brain were what I usually referred to as UEQ's...Ultimate Existence Questions. The most common of those is the one I'm sure most people have asked at least once: Why was I put on this earth? And I guess no one figures it out until they leave this world.
I felt Slash materialize next to me. He looked at me with a puzzled expression as I continued staring at the sea. Then he turned his head and watched with me. We stood there for a good half-hour, in silence. Slash eventually broke it.
"I sure missed a lot while I was gone, didn't I?" Slash asked as he put a strong hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, where were you?" I asked curiously. "Out and about," Slash replied generally. That's the thing about ghosts, they never tell you about what they do when they aren't bothering you. They can follow you all day long and pry into your business, but you can never get a peep out of them about theirs. I could tail Slash if I really wanted, but the thought never really crossed my mind.
"What happened to the little charity case?" Slash asked as he played with his handlebar mustache. "Laurel? She went to the Great Beyond," I replied solemnly. "How's the vice president thing going?" Slash asked. "I'm ahead, I think," I stated. "Oh," Slash replied, "What about that Suze girl?" "She hasn't been at school since the other day. Her feet got messed up," I answered, suddenly becoming interested in a seagull. "Anything else I should know?" Slash asked, a little annoyed by my curtness with him.
"Life reeks," I said as I turned to face him, "But I made a plan, so hopefully that will change." "Plan, huh?" Slash inquired as he scratched his chin. I went into all of the details of my plan, step by step. After hearing my genius scheme, Slash said with a hearty chuckle, "That's the Paulie I know! You haven't changed a bit."
Slash and I chatted all night about various topics. I even went into details about what happened with Laurel and the VP thing. Slash listened with interest and even put in his two cents. It felt good to talk to someone finally. I feel pretty lame saying this but...Slash was my best friend. He was a ghost for goodness sakes! All I can say is he was treating me better than anyone that was ALIVE did.
"It's bedtime now, Paulie," Slash teased as he looked at the clock. "It's only nine, Slash," I said as I threw a pillow at him. "Do you want me to tuck you in?" Slash threatened with a laugh. "Fine, I'll go to bed," I groaned, "But I have to take a shower first." "Okay, but 'member that you need some sleep. The election is tomorrow. And you hafta do that plan of yours," Slash reminded me. "Fine. Thanks DAD," I said as I rolled my eyes. I wondered if Slash had any kids when he was alive. Every time I asked him questions about his life, he would avoid it.
*
The next day, I stood with Kelly and them at assembly. I heard CeeCee squeal, "Suze! Thank God you're back! You have some MAJOR campaigning to do!" I turned around to look at Suze, looking as beautiful as ever. She even wore her hair down in soft-looking waves. Suze hobbled over to where CeeCee and Adam were standing. Adam saw her struggles and offered some help. "I have no pity for you, Simon," CeeCee said as she shook her head at Suze's pitiful condition. "Nice to see you too, Cee," Suze said sarcastically, "From now on, I'll only wear Aerosols, I promise.
Father Dom spoke over the intercom; "Today is the election for junior class president. The election will take place at lunch. And let's all remember to remind our parents about the feast of Father Serra, which will take place here at the mission tomorrow starting at ten o'clock. There will be food and games and music and fun. Susannah Simon, after assembly, would you please come to the principal's office? That is all."
What could all that be about? Suze didn't seem worried about it, because she smiled and waved good-bye to her friends. All during first period I couldn't help but be curious about what Suze was going to say at the meeting. Would she tell Father Dom about me? I had to know...it was just eating at me. So I put my most miserable face and walked up to Mr. Walden and asked, "Please, can I go to the nurse?" "Sure, Paul, you don't look so good. Let me write you a pass," Mr. Walden replied as he scribbled a pass.
Instead of going to the nurse, I ventured to the principal's office. It was practically on the other side of the mission. I saw Suze walking down the breezeway, looking very upset. I closed my eyes and materialized behind a column, and when she got close enough, I leapt out and went, "Hey."
I shouldn't have to tell you she was a little surprised.
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A/N: Hey, folks. Happy St. Patty's day (I'm a little bit Irish). I love Spring Break! I've been reading and writing and shopping...having a total blast! This chapter was short...my deepest apologies. But I promise next chapter will be better! Suze is back! That may give Paul something to smile about. He was acting sort of depressed in the beginning. I guess he was feeling down because not many people reviewed last chapter. I felt his pain...sniffle. Mystique Angelique...Paul and I thank you for reviewing! I'll stop the guilt trip, sorry! Love...Hayley!
