A Barrel For Ashton
By, Miotis Kain
Knock. Knock.
Dias grumbled something that might have been "go away" into his pillow.
Knock. Knock.
He grumbled again.
Knock! Knock!
"Fine. I'm coming." He dragged himself out of bed…
Knock!! Knock!!
…decided to listen to that small voice in the back of his mind that said he should put some pants on…
Pound! Pound!
…and answered the door.
Precis froze, her fist raised and ready to dispense further abuse to the already worn inn door. Her face broke into a smile so wide it hurt Dias' cheeks to look at her. His face and voice remained expressionless as he questioned, "What?"
"I'm looking for Ashton."
"And you're here because…"
"He wasn't in his room. I've asked everyone else, but no one knows where he is. I was wondering if you'd seen him."
"I just woke up."
"Oh." Her face fell momentarily, but her previous grin was quickly reasserted. "Well, that's okay. I'll go look around town. If you see him, could you tell him I'm looking for him?"
"I'll do that."
"Thanks! See you later!"
Even as she turned to leave, Dias closed the door. Two quick steps took him back to the bed; he looked at the bundle under the blankets and said, "Precis, is looking for you."
The bundle moved, and Gyoro and Ururun popped out – revealing a rather disheveled Ashton that barely qualified as awake. "Okay," he yawned.
How could he lie to her so easily? Ururun's thoughts passed telepathically to his brother. Especially when Ashton's in bed behind him?
He didn't lie, Gyoro defended. He had just woken up, and he did inform Ashton that she was looking for him – as he said he would. An indignant sniff. He never said that he hadn't seen him. He simply avoided the question.
Would you two quit talking about us like we're not here? Ashton interjected.
He can't hear us, Gyoro argued.
But I can.
I have a question: Why haven't you two told the others about your relationship? Ururun asked. Wouldn't it be easier than all this slipping back and forth in the night like you've been doing?
We haven't decided how to tell them, you know that.
What's there to decide? When everyone's together, you just tell them. Perhaps at dinner?
He's right, Gyoro agreed.
Oh, there's an idea, he thought to them sarcastically. While everyone's enjoying what's supposed to be a pleasant evening meal, tell them that Dias and I have been sleeping together. Perhaps you two haven't noticed, but our kind of relationship isn't really accepted.
Your kind of relationship?
Yes, our kind of relationship. You know, two men instead of a man and a woman?
The red dragon countered with, It wasn't that uncommon on Nede.
On Nede! Not on Expel! And these are our friends we're talking about. We don't want to upset them any more than necessary.
The three of them fell silent, at which point they noticed that Dias had returned to lying face down on his side of the bed and seemed to be well on his way to regaining unconsciousness. Ashton went to cover him with the blankets, but stopped. "No fair."
The larger man made a noise meant as an interrogative.
"You're still wearing your pants."
Another noise for confirmation.
Reaching over, the younger man pushed him out of bed. From the floor, he heard Dias ask, "And what was that for?"
"New rule: No pants in bed."
A pause. Then, "I'll consent to that." Shedding the newly forbidden garment, Dias slid up to Ashton who quickly buried them under a pile of blankets.
The pair of dragons observed the sleeping pair of humans for a moment before simultaneously thinking, I'll never understand humans.
*
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaashtoooooooooooooooon!" Precis skipped up to where the sword-fighter was eyeing a shop window filled with pendants. "I've been looking all over for you!"
"Um, yeah. Dias, um, said something about that," he muttered without looking up.
"I wanted to wish you a happy birthday!" she continued with her perkiness, not noticing his distraction.
"Thanks," came the absent reply, which was immediately followed by a mumbled, "He said he was getting me something. I wonder what it is." Gyoro gave him a light butt to the head, and he suddenly realized what he had said. Luckily, Precis hadn't noticed; for some odd reason she was too busy staring at her feet – which were sketching lazy circles on the cobblestone street. "So, uh, was there something else you wanted to talk to me about? I can't imagine you looked so hard only to tell me 'happy birthday'."
"Actually, there was something else. Do you have a minute?"
"Er, yeah, sure. What is it?"
"Well, you know that I've been trying to win over Claude for a while now, and… well… I've finally realized that maybe I can't get him because he's not the one meant for me," she sighed a little over-dramatically. "Maybe there's someone else out there that's better. Maybe that someone's been right in front of me all along, and I was too busy looking someplace else to see him."
Ashton gave her a blank look. "I'm not sure I see where you're going with this." The dragons, however, knew exactly where she was going, and they didn't like the destination.
"Ashton, I…" She was interrupted by Ashton's howl of pain. Astonished, she watched him run off in a panic – two sets of dragon teeth firmly clamped onto his rear end.
*
Celine fiddled with the charm bracelet she had just bought at the market, and gave Noel a criticizing glare. "Well, we should do something, darling. After all, it is his twenty-first birthday."
The fore mentioned Nedian gave her his usual stoned look. "Wow. Twenty-one. That's a big number."
"So, what should we do? I sup…" She paused as the subject of their conversation raced screaming past, Gyoro and Ururun chewing on his butt. Once gone, she continued, "I suppose we could always take him out drinking. He looks like he could use a good drink."
"Yeah… Alcohol is good."
*
Gonna do it, Chisato told herself. Today is the day.
She kept a brisk pace as she weeded through the crowded street, keeping a careful watch to make sure she didn't pass the very person whom she sought. Where is he? He wasn't at the inn. He wasn't at the market getting chicken skewers. He wasn't with Rena. She mentally stressed the name as though it were the title to a bad newspaper article.
A smug smile crossed her face as she thought about the other Nedian girl. I'll show her. Once Dias reads my poem about him, he'll forget all about his sweet, innocent little Rena and he'll be mine.
She stopped to check her reflection in a shield at an armor shop. How could he even think of keeping her once he finds out he can have the world's number one investigative reporter? He can't. He won't. It's impossible for me to get turned down.
After another half-hour of searching, she finally found him sitting on the bridge reading a book. Against the backdrop of bustling townsfolk, he was an island of serenity. He radiated calm, the antithesis to her zest – the yang to her yin. It was the very quality that had first attracted her to him.
…Okay. It was his breathtaking good looks that had first caught her attention, but his reserved manner had been the clincher. So quiet. So cool. So gorgeous! Here goes. "What are you reading?"
If he was surprised by her presence, he didn't show it. Just the way her perfect man should be. "A book," he said flatly.
"By who?"
"Rena."
Chisato's face contorted into a giant scowl. That little wench! But her expression brightened as she saw Dias' change; his eyes narrowed and his brows drew down – not a lot, but just enough to let her know that there was something in Rena's book that he didn't like. Here's my chance!
"Hey, Dias. If you want, I just finished writing a poem and I'd just love to get your opinion on it."
…he lays her down on the bed. Her eyes gaze up at him in longing…
Dias barely managed to suppress a shudder. Where in God's name did Rena get the inspiration to write something so… graphic. No. He didn't want to know. There are just some things a brother shouldn't know. If he found out, he might kill Claude… At least, he hoped it was Claude.
All that aside, he instantly decided that he had no intention of reading any more Nedian literature. He looked at Chisato – stony faced as ever – and said, "Pass." And before there could be further ado, he stood and walked away with a stride that would have been a run had his legs been shorter.
"Damn!" She watched his retreating back, until his height was swallowed by distance. "I'll get you later," she promised.
*
"You know, maybe you should feed them," Bowman suggested. "If they're not hungry, they won't be trying to make a meal out of your ass."
We're sorry, Ashton, the dragons apologized. We had to do it.
You had to? For what possible reason did you have to take a bite out of my rear end?! Do you have any idea how much that hurts?! What am I supposed to tell Dias?
"So, why didn't you go to Rena? She could have made this a lot easier on you."
In a voice that wasn't quite a wail, he responded, "I couldn't find her!"
A few minutes passed in silence. And then, "So, how long have you and Dias been together?"
Ashton blanched.
So did the dragons.
*
"Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaas!" Precis squalled just before throwing her arms around his waist. "Where has he gone?!"
"Let go of me," he ordered insipidly. She didn't listen. He sighed. "Where has who gone?"
"Ashton! I had it all planned out. I was going to tell him and he was going to sweep me into his arms and then we were going to live happily ever after! And then those dragons scared him off and now I can't find him! I know he loves me! How am I supposed to tell him that I love him too if I can't find him?!"
Dias stiffened. "You what?" To Precis' confusion, he yanked her arms from his waist – but not so forcefully as to hurt her – and stalked off. If the rage in his eyes was any indication, then the inventor girl was convinced that the sword was his second deadliest weapon. Maybe looks could kill…
*
Ashton – whose face was suddenly a hue comparable to Gyoro – gaped for a moment before sputtering, "Wha… wait… how… what d'you…how'd you… Huh?!"
"Oh, don't play dumb. You heard me."
The sword-fighter did a magnificent impression of a fish out of water – his mouth gaping open and then closing only to fall open again in silent stupor. Finally, "How…how did you know? We didn't tell anyone. And I know these two didn't tell you." He indicated the dragons with a jerk of his head.
Bowman looked at him almost too casually. "Well, all the signs are there if you know how to read them. Whenever we had to share rooms you and Dias always bunked together. Besides Rena, you're the only one he'd ever let within touching distance of him if he didn't have to. You sit across or next to each other at dinner. He's the only one that's never been on the butt-end of one of your passengers' jokes. And a little while after he started traveling with us, your affections for Precis dwindled." He shrugged, and quickly added, "Besides, I saw you leaving his room this morning."
"Oh, is that all?" he asked sarcastically.
"No, but those are the main ones… Well, that and the fact that I am a physician and…"
"Okay! That's enough!" Ashton quickly redressed. He did his best not to look at the pharmacist as he asked, "So… um… are you, er, okay with… um, that?"
Another shrug. "Doesn't bother me."
"Do you think it'll bother the others?"
Bowman simply gifted him with a look that said What business is it of theirs?
*
Chisato spotted Dias. It wasn't hard; not only was he taller than everyone else, but the crowd was parting around him as though he were surrounded by some impenetrable bubble. She raced up to him…
"Dias!"
…only to have one large hand brush her aside as though he were removing shrubbery from his path. "What's with him?"
Her eyes lit up as an idea came to her. Did he and Rena have a fight? Did they break up? She squealed with delight. That would be absolutely perfect! And there's no one better to help him get over his broken heart than the future Mrs. Chisato Flac. Resolve renewed, she took off to try and catch up with her "husband" – who had already disappeared from sight.
*
Rena nibbled on a roll. "What are we going to do?"
"I don't know," Claude responded. "I didn't even know it was his birthday until you told me. Don't get me wrong. I agree that we should do something, but what can we put together on such short notice?"
"Maybe we should just get him a barrel." They shared a brief laugh, and went back to seriously discussing their comrade's special day. A moment later Precis arrived.
The inventor girl plopped herself down next to Rena. "Reeeeeeeenaaaaaaaa! I've got a crisis!"
"What's wrong?"
"Well, I haven't been able to tell Ashton that I love him, and now" – she grabbed Rena by the shoulders and shook her – "I just found out that Dias is in love with me!"
Claude, who was in the middle of drinking his tea, gagged – inadvertently spraying the mouthful across the table. Between coughs, he managed to say, "Dias is in love with you? What gives you that idea?"
"When I told him that I was in love with Ashton, he got all mad and walked off."
Claude and Rena looked at each other, dumbfounded. Blink. Blink. "Do you think…?" he began.
"I don't know. I never imagined Dias would behave like that."
The blonde swordsman eyed Precis skeptically. "Are you sure you're not exaggerating? Just a little?"
"No!" she replied defensively. Then to Rena, "Rena, you're closest to him. Maybe you could talk to him for me? Let him down easy so his feelings won't be hurt. Please?"
"I guess I could," the blue-haired Nedian consented. "I'll go find him after we finish our lunch."
"Thanks! I'm going back to finding Ashton." Precis leapt to her feet and raced off in the opposite direction from which she had come.
"Do you actually think it's true?" Claude asked. "I mean, come on! Dias and Precis? I know I don't know him as well as you, but that really just doesn't seem like him. It seems to me he spends most of his time around her fighting the urge to kill her."
Rena nodded. "I'll talk to him."
*
Celine walked down the street, humming a nameless tune. She'd just finished a major jewelry shopping spree and now had an armful of bags filled with miscellaneous trinkets. Intending to go back to the inn and take a hot bath, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Dias walk out of a tattoo parlor. What's he doing in a place like that? She thought for a moment, then broke down into helpless giggles as she got a mental image of Dias covered in tattoos doing a macho-man pose.
"Oh, darling!" she called.
The tall swordsman stopped. He looked over his shoulder at her.
"Hello, darling. So, what did you get?"
No answer. Only a cold stare.
"Oh, come now. You can tell me." She did her best to put her hands on her hips and not drop her bags. "I know you got one. What other reason could you possibly have to go into a tattoo parlor? So, what did you get?"
Again, no answer. Instead, Dias turned and began walking back to the inn.
*
"A heart with 'mother' on a ribbon? No? All right. How about a skull and crossbones? That would be very you. Not that either?" Celine followed Dias through the lobby and up the stairs. "Come, darling. I can guess all day. And I will, unless you show it to me." She darted past him, and positioned herself between him and his room door. "One little peek. That's all I'm asking. You can't possibly expect me to not be curious."
After nearly a minute of silence and staring, he finally said, "Not a word to anyone, and you quit bothering me."
"Of course, darling!" she laughed, then moved so that he could open the door. Inside, she set all her bags on the bed; she was practically dancing with excitement. Dias got a tattoo! What could it possibly be? She imagined it was probably something like a bloody sword, or the Grim Reaper, or something else equally depressing.
Her eyes went wide. The swordsman had removed his cloak and was proceeding to take off his belt. Where was this tattoo?
He had just begun to tug his shirt up when there was a knock at the door, which immediately opened to reveal Rena. The healer froze in the doorway, shock and confusion plastered across her face. "I'm sorry!" she blurted, turning bright red. "I didn't mean to interrupt!" She looked at Dias. "So, that thing with Precis isn't true?"
"Huh?" was his only response.
Celine's was much more enthusiastic. "That's what it is!" She pointed an accusing finger at Dias. "The tattoo's for Precis?!"
"What tattoo?" Rena asked, and Celine quickly recounted how she had found him coming out of the tattoo parlor. The Nedian looked at her "big brother" again, eyes wide with wonder. "So, it is true. You are in love with Precis."
Inside, Dias shuddered with revulsion. Outside, he gifted the women with a simple, "Hardly."
Not listening, Rena began to spout off her practiced speech. As she was finishing up, Chisato walked into the room with a face the color to match her hair. "What?!" she screeched. "All this time, I was worried about you, and then that annoying brat moves in behind my back!"
"Hey, what's going on?" Claude asked, running up to the door and skidding to a halt, Noel behind him. "We heard screaming."
"Claude, Dias fell in love with Precis and got a tattoo for her," Rena explained, almost hysterically.
"He what?!" came a high-pitched voice. Precis shoved her way through the crowd, stopping in front of Rena. "You said you were going to talk to him!" she wailed.
"I just did! I didn't get the chance to do it before he went and got it."
Dias was finding it harder and harder to remain stoic; the urge to just fly into a rage and tell everyone to "get the hell out" was looking better by the second. Shit, he mentally groaned. This turned into a mess real quick. What else is going to happen? Just as that thought flitted through his mind, Ashton and Bowman walked in. Double shit.
"What's all the ruckus about?" Bowman scratched his head. "We can hear you all the way down the hall."
Everyone – except for Dias – began talking at once and at least four different versions of the same explanation went barreling toward the two newest links in the gossip chain. Everything from "Dias is in love with Precis" to "Dias got a tattoo of Precis on his ass".
The two's reactions were quite unexpected. Bowman burst into gales of hysterical laughter, eventually falling to the floor because his legs would no longer support him. And Ashton… If it had been anyone else, Dias would have had no trouble maintaining his aloof façade; but it just happened to be the one person in the world that could make him break down. Damn the luck. Ashton's face adopted a look that would have done Dias proud – had said swordsman not been struggling to preserve his typical cold-hearted composure.
The talking died as the dragon-endowed man slowly walked up to the topic of conversation, his every step a silent threat. Once they were standing toe to toe, his words slid forth like ice. "Is any of this true?" The fact that Ashton had to crane his neck back to meet his lover's eyes did nothing to diminish from the imposing air he now carried.
"No." He managed to keep his voice flat and the majority of his face unrevealing; only his eyes faltered, but Ashton alone noticed – the rest of the group missing the moment of vulnerability. "Well, pieces-parts of it are kind of true… Sort of… Maybe…"
"What. Parts." The words were punctuated, and came out more of a demand than a question.
"Well…"
"Well."
"I did get a tattoo," he mumbled, "but it isn't for Precis."
Voices exploded into the air as the arguments were renewed. What was Dias' tattoo? Where was it? Who was it for? Bowman continued to laugh himself purple – he knowing damn well who it was for – and the two lovers continued to have their staring contest – which, for once, Ashton was winning. Gyoro and Ururun were blessedly inactive, watching the entire ordeal with great interest.
As the debate escalated to just short of a brawl, Dias' last ultra-stressed wire of patience snapped. With an uncharacteristic display of emotion, he bellowed above the din, "For Tria's sake, why is it any of you people's goddamned business anyway? I didn't get it for Precis. I didn't get it for Rena. And I most certainly did not get it for Claude! And if any of you had the right to know in the first place" – at this he shot a withering glare at Celine – "I would have fucking told you about it."
Shocked soundlessness filled the room. Bowman had stopped laughing, and even the dragons gaped open-mouthed. Only Ashton remained unmoved by the outburst, his face still unreadable.
"Here," the blue-haired swordsman continued, "if you have to know so goddamned bad, I'll just show you the fucking thing." He promptly pulled up the edge of his shirt and tugged down one corner of his pants. Not a lot – just enough to expose a tattoo of a barrel, on which was Ashton's name inside a heart.
That's one way to tell everyone, Ururun thought to Gyoro, who nodded his agreement.
Absolute silence reigned.
Gradually, tortuously slowly, Ashton drew his gaze from Dias' face to his hip. When he saw the tattoo the frigidity left his eyes, and a light blush spread across his cheeks. Quite suddenly, he threw his arms around the taller man's neck and began to smother him with kisses – in between which he was heard to say, word by word, "It's. The. Best. Present. Ever!" Thrown off balance, Dias' arms wind-milled for a bit before he and Ashton finally fell over, landed on the foot of the bed, and unceremoniously tumbled off it onto the floor.
Bowman, being the only one to recover from stupefaction, began to usher everyone out of the room. "All right everyone, the rest of this is a private show and I don't think we have tickets." Then, to the tangle of limbs on the floor, "Be careful with Ashton. The hind quarters are going to be a bit sore." He smirked as he locked the door and shut it behind him.
Inside the room, Dias looked at his lover inquisitively. "What happened to make your 'hind quarters' a bit sore?" As Ashton turned the color of a ripe tomato, the dragons did their best to pretend they didn't exist.
