Disclaimers: Hunter X Hunter © Yoshihiro Togashi, Shounen Jump Weekly, Shueisha and Nippon Animation. This fanfic is written for entertainment purposes only.

Author's Notes: *still grinning like an idiot* So far, this fanfic had the best feedbacks. Okay, actually, next to Drunk, this had the best/most feedbacks. *looks mildly disturbed by this* Goodness. Had I been any more into lemons, I might write another one, but let's just say I like keeping my age ^.^ Anyway, yeah, I decided to go through with my muse's insanity. I'll do Of Games... little by little. Ideas will be very much welcomed and appreciated. I think I already established the this-is-a-one-time-thing-so-if-I-end-up-with-crap-if-I-continue-it-don't-blame-me issue. So if you people want something to happen, some fiasco Hisoka comes up with - 'cause let's be honest, Illumi is dense - let me know, okay? ^_________^

Oh yeah, and for those who commented that Illumi's OOC. Well, this is a comedy fanfic. You kind of have to expect that ^^; I'll try to keep it to a minimum though. I'm just twisting Illumi's impatience and playfulness up a bit ^.~ And contrary to popular belief, Illumi is not as stiff as some people think he is. He's as playful as Hisoka, if not more. And he does know how to smile. Don't believe me? Go through the manga and episodes again and you'll see what I mean ^.~

Cherrie's Universal Rule When Reading Her Yaoi Pieces states that whomsoever flames her solely for the purpose of bashing the pairing, or homo/bisexuality in general, is an utter scum who doesn't know how to comprehend a warning when he/she sees one.

OF GAMES AND ASSASSINS
by: Cherrie ( kurapikasama@yahoo.com )

Chapter 2 - Deals and All the Angles

Long pauses seemed to make up most of their time as far as Hisoka was concerned. And staring. Lots of staring.

Hisoka couldn't help but blink down in amazement when he found himself meeting a pair of cat-like black eyes looking up at him with equal intensity. Had the situation been any less weird, he would've considered jumping the young assassin right then and there. It's not everyday that one would see Illumi with a small smirk, and the whole setting of having him in Hisoka's bed was a bit of a suggestive picture.

But...then again there was that issue about whether or not this person really was Illumi. Hisoka's been wondering about that for a while now. The guy's been acting pretty strange since he came. And not to mention his last words that would've left the magician gawking had he been any less in-control of his expressions.

Hisoka couldn't help but blink back his surprise yet again. "Uh...excuse me?" he stammered, so carelessly that even he had to mentally wince at his lack of poise in taking in another side of the person across from him.

Upon hearing Hisoka's intelligent response, Illumi heaved out an exasperated sigh. Well, as relatively as exasperation was for his passive face anyway. He took a deep breath and gave the other an intent look, as if he was talking to a mere five year old. "Look. It's kind of like this," he said, pulling himself up to level his eyes with that of the magician's. "In due time, Milluki's going to find me (that traitor). And when that time comes, I want to be ready for my family. And after all, if I take in a male lover, my..." he paused and winced, in search of a better word instead of the usual one he and his family would use. But in the end, he couldn't find a better term and just went on, his usual monotone laced with a tinge of bitterness and spite. "...fiancée might get the idea that my preference lies not on her same gender."

"Well, where does your true preference lie anyway?" Hisoka couldn't help but ask despite his state.

It took a moment for the assassin to respond. He looked elsewhere for a moment, deep in his own thoughts, before looking back at the magician. "I never really thought about it. All I know is that I don't want her," he said, scowling again at the obvious fact that he just thought about the little miss. He looked back at Hisoka after shaking his head. Flicking out a hand in a dismissive manner, thus closing the matter, he shifted back to his own initial topic. "So, how about it?"

Hisoka poked his cheek in thought. Okay, so for one thing, even if Illumi didn't say that he's inclined to having a relationship with another man, he didn't say that he wasn't either. And besides, by the looks of it, aside from a posh brat bound to marry Illumi unless circumstances can be helped, the assassin didn't seem to be very much interested in any sort of relationship at all, and would gladly take up the life of a hermit if allowed. This one may be easy enough to change, though.

A small grin was beginning to ebb out from Hisoka's lips just by thinking about it, but he hid this to himself lest Illumi becomes suspicious. Instead, he shifted his thoughts on other aspects of the deal the other was after. From many angles, he knew that there were so much to worry about despite the benefits he was just momentarily thinking about, but there was always one that stood among the others.

The very thought made him shudder. Hisoka fixed Illumi a displeased gaze and found his voice. "You do realize that your family will be after my head for this, don't you?" he asked, a frown marring his face.

But this, Illumi seemed to have expected. That creepy smirk came back to him again, Hisoka noted. "Exactly," he said. "That's why it's you I went to." Hisoka wondered if Illumi was just as deep in thought as he was, or whether or not he had formulated this plan on his way to his hotel. But more or less, the assassin seemed confident enough. Or at least, convinced enough that this was the method he'll be using against the decision of his family.

But again, his thoughts were his own and he detached these things from those that he would say out loud. "I kind of thought you went to me because I'm the only one available," he remarked playfully, still buying his time so he'd be able to think a bit more.

"That's one reason," Illumi said with a hint of annoyance. Apparently, he wanted to rush things up a bit, as out of character as that may sound. But he really wanted to get away from his 'fate', or so his mother would call it, and Hisoka was stalling. The magician was right though. The whole Zoldick clan might hunt them both down for this, most especially when it was his mother leading the whole patrol. The very picture made him wince. "But other than that, like you said, my family will be after you. You can take my mother and my siblings," he said.

"Uh...and your father and grandfather?"

"I doubt even the both of us combined with twice our current strength can take them out, but we'll work on that," came Illumi's deadpan answer.

Hisoka stared at Illumi for a while, trying really hard to not gawk. There were so many wrong things in this plan that he didn't know where to start. But as Illumi's thoughts were fogged with his desperation to get away from an evil family custom, so was Hisoka's, fogged by the fact that Illumi. Was. In. His. Bed. It also didn't help that the younger man had found his way back on the bed, curling himself a bit to a more comfortable position, staring at Hisoka as he waited for an answer. Ah damn. Any minute now and he'd yield to that desperate look. Sometimes, hormones can be really dangerous things, most especially when one finds his best friend - 'best friend' technically used since Hisoka spends most of his time with Illumi than with anybody else anyway - completely seductive. Not that Illumi meant to be - because again, he's a very dense young man unfortunately - but that didn't seem to change anything.

"So," came Illumi's voice again, oblivious to the other's thoughts. He propped himself on one elbow and looked at the magician, daring him to not agree with him. Oh yes, the man's a manipulative bastard even when he himself didn't know it. "I ask you again: How about it?" It seemed to Hisoka that even though he was staring like a wolf would a bunny, Illumi never gave him much thought. How dense can one person get?

"What do I get in return for this?" he asked this time, knowing that there wouldn't be any way out with his hormones taking Illumi's side.

The assassin sat up - Hisoka didn't know whether the less suggestive position should be welcomed or cursed - and paused for a while, obviously in thought. "I never really thought about that either," he said, tipping his head to one side. Eventually, he shrugged and - to Hisoka's delight - said, "Surely, you wouldn't be after money. I don't know. Name your price."

That was a very stupid decision, noted Hisoka despite the fact that he was the one benefiting from it. But then again, Illumi was desperate, and he was dense. How many times had Hisoka established this point anyway? He chose not to say anything against this though and just went on. "Name my price, huh?" he said, a grin spreading in his face. "You sure about that?"

"Any price within reason, Hisoka," warned Illumi, somehow reading into the magician's mischief. Hisoka doubted the guy actually connected the grin in his eyes to anything sexual, but he did read something, so he had to give him credit for that.

"Let's get that 'within reason' thing clear," said Hisoka, holding up a forefinger. "What does that mean?"

Another pause while Illumi thought again. Hisoka expected that, and gladly jumped to his, ahem...best friend's aid. "If you're able to give it without causing fatal harm to yourself physically or whatever, then it's 'within reason'," he offered helpfully, trying to keep his enthusiasm about this conversation in check.

"That's fine with me," said Illumi, albeit a bit hesitantly. He was still eyeing Hisoka suspiciously, but he kept his silence for some reason.

Hisoka was beginning to like the way this thing was going, so he risked yet another step. "And one more condition," he said, holding up a finger again. Illumi frowned, not much pleased by Hisoka's fickleness. But by his nod, the other continued. "I don't like taking orders from anybody, so if you'll just give me my cue, I'll do my act my way," he said. He tried to keep a stern face unless Illumi reads anything from him again.

Though still deep in his own suspicion, the assassin eyed him thoughtfully, possibly weighing the circumstances in his mind. But Hisoka was confident. Illumi's dense, there's always that comforting fact. He'll agree eventually.

And as expected, Illumi's face lit up in determination. "Okay," he said finally, leveling his eyes with Hisoka's. "Deal."

"Okay," he said as well, holding up a hand. "It's a deal then." Illumi's hand set itself firmly with his in a professional handshake.

Hisoka grinned to himself. And so it begins...

* * * * *

"Here's what I intend to do."

Hisoka glanced up as he settled his things down on the carpeted floor. After their last conversation - the one finalizing their deal - there was a great debate on whether or not they should stay at Hisoka's hotel room. The main problem was the subject of the beds. Due to a momentary problem Hisoka blamed on the hotel's fame itself, he was forced to stay at a suite meant for two people, with two twin sized beds pushed up against one side of the room, because the hotel's single suites were all booked during the time of the magician's check-in. He decided to just take the doubles room and just take any of the next available single suites as they come. But one way or another, he didn't feel like moving anymore and decided that something so small a detail as the issue of having a queen-sized bed at least isn't worth the effort of packing his things up again. So there goes the reason for his initial suite.

Now, it all seemed fairly simple at first. Illumi would take the other unoccupied bed while Hisoka stayed at his own side. But after much pondering - and much help from his own sick mind - Hisoka raised the notion that they should share the same bed because they were supposed to act as lovers. At first, Illumi's reaction was to give him a hard stare, one that just screamed 'Are you out of your mind?' and warned him of a painful and untimely death. But the magician refused to yield, and explained that male x male relationships were very sexual - he wondered if Illumi was actually bothered by that fact - and if they slept apart and the Zoldick's find out, they might become suspicious.

Just for the hell of it, he asked the assassin if either Milluki and Killua was in any way perverted. Illumi frowned, but his answer did not disappoint. Apparently, being the nice big brother that he was, Illumi knew that Milluki and Killua were sharing hentai magazines ever since Killua was 10, and was only hiding this from their mother lest they risk having an earful of her...well, wailing. In a way, Hisoka thought that maybe Illumi wasn't as dense or naive as he thought him to be, and briefly wondered if ever the assassin took a peek from those things, but thought better than to ask. Instead, he went back to why he actually asked him in the first place.

A firm shake of the head and a short, "Killua is bound to ask, 'Hisoka is his lover and they sleep apart?'" became the last straw. Hisoka knew that there may be things that may excuse their sleeping practices. For one, unlike Illumi, Killua fully knew just how perverted the magician was. Hisoka didn't mind of course; he actually takes pride in that. So with that settled, Illumi could just say that they need to sleep apart because they won't be able to sleep at all with Hisoka trying to grope him every chance he'd get. Personally, Hisoka thought that that was a plausible reason enough, but he's not going to share that little thought with Illumi.

He mentally grinned. He'll jump off a cliff first before he'd actually pass up the chance he just got.

So after winning the argument at last, the magician led his sulking companion to the main lobby and asked if he could transfer to a new room. Fortunately, there were a few single suites available this time. After yet another hissed argument regarding the size of the rooms, Hisoka won again by saying that the hotel was luxurious enough to actually mean four when they say room for two.

So there they were, in a room with a single queen-sized meant for one or two people. Hisoka hoped that his enthusiasm didn't show too much, and just stayed quiet while Illumi tried to get over the fact that he'll be sharing a bed with a man for a few weeks. The assassin lifted himself up to sit on the table beside the TV, watching his feet sway alternately from the ground to help him calm himself down. It didn't take long for him to accept things as they were - and Hisoka was proud to note that Illumi still didn't hate him despite the way things were - and with one final sigh, turned back to the magician to talk about the things they should do and establish.

"By the time they get here, we'll only be showing them glimpses of the two of us together for a few days. I think that would be enough to make them wonder who you are," said Illumi. "If we get lucky, they'll bring Killua along and he would recognize you immediately. Provided that my mother won't get hysterical, Milluki would decide to spy on us for a while. Mother might get impatient, but with a little coaxing from Killua, she'll hold up for a few days."

Hisoka gave an obligatory nod to show that he was listening. But while Illumi thought of the possibilities and of what they might expect, Hisoka was thinking of how they were going to act. He didn't know how the other would react to what he intended to do, but since they'll be putting on a show, Illumi can't possibly disagree once they're already under the eyes of his family. Yes, life was good to him so far.

Still oblivious of the smirk the other was trying to hide, Illumi continued to speak. "We have to give them the impression that we're lovers before my mother confronts us, though. Words may become awkward, and if she ever gets even a few meters close, rest assured that I'll be dragged home. In chains if need be."

"We'll hide from them after they see us, then. It'll be pretty easy," Hisoka said, straightening up. "Y'know, as if they're seeing ghosts."

Illumi seemed to like this idea, and he nodded his consent. But Hisoka was far from finished. "But, we also have to give the same impression to the people who might be questioned. Like the receptionists to name a few. If I were your brothers, I'd try to find out where we're staying and begin questioning those that might know something."

Illumi visibly frowned. "So...we have to put on a show even when they're not around, is that it?" he asked hesitantly.

Hisoka gave him a small grin, hiding the fact that he was taking pleasure in all of these. "Just to be on the safe side, yes," he said. "We're dealing with professionals here, my dear friend. You know your own family, don't you?"

For a moment, Illumi looked like he might begin to sulk again. But he regained his composure pretty quickly this time, and just let out yet another defeated sigh. "Fine," he said, and Hisoka had to restrain himself from clapping in his glee. "Anyway, we might as well start today. I didn't bring anything with me, so if you don't mind me borrowing a few thousands, I have to buy a few sets of clothes," he said before jumping down from his perch. "The receptionist was already giving us a few looks while you asked to transfer to a new room, so we don't have to show too much. People will get the idea," he said.

"That's fine by me," said Hisoka, who was far too pleased with the situation to mind the fact that he'll only be getting away with a few minor touches for a while. Rummaging around in one of his bags, he pulled out two jackets, taking note of the cold weather outside. He took a dark brown one for himself and handed the black one to Illumi. He was pleased to note that the younger man seemed to be surprised by the gesture. He declined the offer though and just walked wordlessly out the door.

Hisoka let out a smirk. Seducing Illumi would be easy, he decided. He threw the jacket on the bed, took a few seconds to savor the thought that he'll be sharing this same bed with somebody - though not exactly the way he wanted to, and walked towards the door from where the other stood waiting for him.

They walked in companionable silence - at least, for Hisoka's part - towards the elevator, and walked wordlessly as well until they reached the main lobby. They both discreetly caught the intent stare the young lady behind the receptionist's counter was giving them, and this Hisoka took as his cue to rest his hand upon Illumi's lower back. The magician felt a slight stiffening from Illumi's part, but the younger man kept his calm and just turned his head to look at the other, which Hisoka took advantage of by leaning closer. From the girl's angle, Hisoka knew it would almost look like as if he just gave Illumi a fleeting kiss. He was right, and the girl blushed intently before looking away, but a small grin was on her face.

The two walked away from the hotel, and Hisoka caught Illumi watching the girl as well. He waited for a while, and was rewarded when Illumi moved his eyes to him this time, an unreadable expression on his face. It almost seemed blank, but the magician could sense a bit of tension from the other. So to make things less uncomfortable - because he had to admit, they were just just getting used to the initiation of the plan - he gave Illumi a small, mischievous grin and tilted his head to indicate the direction of the female receptionist.

Reminded of their success, the tension faded from the young assassin, lost from the sheer feeling of an easy victory. He looked up at Hisoka and responded with his own satisfied smirk.

Hisoka was definitely please.

Mission 1: Accomplished.

End of Chapter 2

A/N: Oh wow. I never had so much fun writing anything so...unplanned! *hearts popping out* It's rare for me to be spontaneous, but I think I'm beginning to like it ^____^ It's almost as if I'm the reader myself because even I don't know what would happen next. Of course, going on like this might put me on a severe case of writer's block, but I trust that I'll love doing this piece so much that I'll be inspired enough to go on on an acceptable pace. Of course, reviews help a lot because my 90% of my huge ego can be run solely by compliments. Of course, you can also point out anything you didn't like so I'd take note of them in the future. Just be gentle when you're criticizing, okay? Truth to be told, criticisms are bad for my health, but I know I need them to improve, so if you don't mind it so much, please use mild words, okay? ^.^ Oh yeah. I'll try doing the next chapter in Illumi's point of view ^.^