It's hard to rest when there is a lot on your mind. It's just as hard as
trying to sleep when you have multiple bruises on your body AND a broken
nose. So that's why I was in bed, thinking about everything that happened
that week. Between political mudslinging and dealing with ghosts while
trying to pursue the girl of my dreams, I learned many things.
First of all, I learned that nothing is as easy as it seems. Looking back, I really did think that it would be easy to fit in at Mission Academy. Then again, its hard to win favor with fellow classmates when you diss the most popular girl in school and then crash a party (literally).
Secondly, not all seemingly perfect plans work. You never know when you'll have to deal with stubborn girls and their dead boyfriends. That's why it is important to make your plan flexible, allowing for small changes when necessary. It's all about adaptation.
Thirdly, just because you don't always follow your heart, it doesn't mean you have to lose your head. Essentially, it causes you to do things you regret...things you can never take back.
Lastly, I learned that "If at first you don't succeed; try, try again". So even though I may have lost my battle at the party (I admit it), I'll always have another opportunity...another chance.
But of course, I am not the only student in this world. I don't do all of the learning. In fact, there are a few things I can teach you (and many more things to teach Green Eyes).
You should ALWAYS know that there are two sides to every story. And though they may contradict, both stories are real. They are real to the person that tells it, and real to those that listen. Always listen to both sides, if possible, in order to obtain the most information on the subject in question. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which one of the tales you believe.
When I was trapped in my bedroom, of course, my thoughts weren't as profound. I was applying my new knowledge in a really stupid way. I needed to fix things up...make them right again. I don't know if it was just me or if it was the large dosage of painkillers they put me on, but I made my decision. I needed to get out of the house.
It was such a crazy idea at the time because I wanted to show Mark who was boss. The place I chose to escape to was the Mission. That's right, folks, I wanted to go to the Feast of Father Serra Festival. I told you, I really must have been nuts. Mark would be there and I could have been caught. I was already in deep trouble with him, so how much worse could it get?
So I pulled myself out of bed and threw on some different clothes (I don't know what they looked like because I was in a hurry). I grabbed my sunglasses and literally tore out of my house. I took my car and drove to the Mission. I parked a block or so off, just in case anyone could recognize my snazzy ride. Then I walked all the way there and entered through the back way.
The courtyard was buzzing with tourists and townspeople, all floating from stand to stand. I tried to cooly place my sunglasses on, but my nose cast made it nearly impossible. I had to practically wiggle it all over my face until it finally sat awkwardly on the cast. Then I walked over to the volunteer booth. The old fart they hired to sit at the stand and check in volunteers was, of course, asleep. I scanned the signup sheet until I saw bubbly cursive that said, "Susannah Simon, Cannoli booth." I looked around the sunny courtyard until I spotted the Cannoli booth...completely deserted.
I thought to myself...if I were a green-eyed beauty, where would I be? I tried to think really hard, but my mind was like a blob of pudding. I touched my nose-cast, and realization hit. Jesse.
I ducked into the pathway that lead to the cemetery, where I knew Suze went practically everyday. The gates leading to it were opened slightly. I slipped behind the archway of adobe that held the wire gate. Then I peered in the cemetery and yanked off my glasses as quickly as possible. I couldn't believe my eyes.
I could see them perfectly. They were standing right in front of his grave...looking down at the headstone. Suze had her hand in his, not even fazed by the fact that the same person whose body was rotting below her was holding her hand. That headstone...it had those years on it. The year he was born and the year that he died...the same numbers that fueled the anger inside of me. I had to send him back where he belonged. But I didn't move from my spot. I was bound by a promise...a promise I had made out of love for Suze. I said I wouldn't harm her precious Jesse. So I just stood there and eavesdropped on them.
"I'm sorry about everything," Jesse said softly as he looked at her.
She kept her eyes on the headstone and sighed. "I understand, I guess. I mean, you can't help it if you...well, don't feel the same way about me as I do about you."
"Is that what you think? That I wanted to leave?"
"Didn't you?" Suze asked as she faced him. I couldn't see her eyes because her back was to me, but I bet they were brightening up a little.
"How could I stay? After what happened between us, Susannah, how could I stay?" Jesse asked as he turned his head away. I began to wonder what really happened between them. It sounded a little more than just a little fight, which was my first guess. I assumed that Jesse and Suze had a disagreement, that's why she was upset when I mentioned Jesse. But you should never assume anything. It makes an ass out of you and me. [A/N: get it...assume...ass...u...me? One of the brothers at our school says it all the time...quite funny hearing it from a religious person.]
Suze seemed just about as confused as I was at the time. "What happened between us? What do you mean?"
"That kiss," Jesse said softly, almost to the point where I couldn't hear him. He let go of her hand. The stood in silence for a bit, they were both in their own little world together...a world in which I was on the outside looking in. I could never be a part of it. I could never crush it...no matter how hard I tried, because they were in love. And I can't break the bonds of love.
"How could I stay?" Jesse asked again, breaking the silence. "Father Dominic was right. You need to be with someone your family and your friends can actually see. You need to be with someone who can grow old with you." He paused for a moment and then added, "You need to be with someone alive."
When Jesse said those words, a burst of hope ran through my veins. Father Dom was right, he said...he was admitting that I was right. Jesse knew it. Suze couldn't escape it. I thought that maybe she would realize how stupid it was for her to swoon over a dead guy...that maybe she would open her eyes and awake from her dream world. I thought that maybe she would realize that she didn't need Jesse. She needed ME. I was usually right about things, but not this time.
"Jesse, I don't care about any of that," she said as she looked at him again. "That kiss...that kiss was the best thing that ever happened to me."
I heard the words escape from her mouth, but I didn't want to believe them. It all seemed so unreal, like time had stopped along with reality. Each syllable that she had said felt like Jesse was breaking my nose over and over again. But it wasn't my nose that felt the pain. It was my heart.
Jesse took her in his arms and started kissing her. I suddenly couldn't feel my legs anymore. Once I had seen their lips meet, I leaned heavily against the adobe gate. My whole world was collapsing in front of me. I felt the same feeling I felt in the vision. I felt alone, scared, suffocated, and worst of all...hurt. Everything felt like it was shaking all over again...like I was having another internal battle with myself. My thoughts were scattered. What am I going to do? I kept asking myself that question, over and over. Finally I couldn't stand to be there anymore. I took off running, not even caring what the tourists might think of me.
I got into my car and started breaking down...not in tears, with shouts or anything like that. I must have forgotten to breathe or something because the next thing I knew I was hearing the constant blaring of a car horn.
My head was resting on something hard...the steering wheel. I lifted my head slowly and the horn stopped. These tourists were running toward my car, asking me if I was okay. I put my key in the ignition and sped off, leaving them to eat my dust. I was not 'okay'...I was never 'okay'...I will never be 'OKAY' ever again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: The end. I really can't find my words right now...
Oh, here they are. Sorry, I needed to calm down a bit. Phew, I can author note now. I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing. I really couldn't have done it without ya'll. I really, really mean it guys. I'm totally serious. You guys gave me over fifty reviews...and that has made me possibly the happiest writer on Fan Fiction. Thank you all SO MUCH!
I'll probably take a break from writing for a while. Once everything is less hectic with band and the play, then I can start writing again. And once I do start writing again, I have a few cool ideas. What? You thought you could get rid of me? Haha, try again! Just tell me what you think about these...
*Trapped: What happens when I get vacuumed in my favorite book with a hot, but highly dangerous shifter as my guide?
*Magdalena: The junior class of Mission Academy finally goes on a field trip to the Mission San Juan Capistrano. Weird things start going on, caused by the ghost of a small girl that died in an earthquake. Will Suze be able to keep her classmates out of possible danger without revealing her deepest secret?
Those are just two of the ones I've thought of. Tell me if you like any of the ideas and perhaps give me some ideas you might have about them.
So I guess this is goodbye for now. I won't be gone forever...I'll still be around, haunting all of you in reviews and such. Just remember, my friends...
"I'll be back."
First of all, I learned that nothing is as easy as it seems. Looking back, I really did think that it would be easy to fit in at Mission Academy. Then again, its hard to win favor with fellow classmates when you diss the most popular girl in school and then crash a party (literally).
Secondly, not all seemingly perfect plans work. You never know when you'll have to deal with stubborn girls and their dead boyfriends. That's why it is important to make your plan flexible, allowing for small changes when necessary. It's all about adaptation.
Thirdly, just because you don't always follow your heart, it doesn't mean you have to lose your head. Essentially, it causes you to do things you regret...things you can never take back.
Lastly, I learned that "If at first you don't succeed; try, try again". So even though I may have lost my battle at the party (I admit it), I'll always have another opportunity...another chance.
But of course, I am not the only student in this world. I don't do all of the learning. In fact, there are a few things I can teach you (and many more things to teach Green Eyes).
You should ALWAYS know that there are two sides to every story. And though they may contradict, both stories are real. They are real to the person that tells it, and real to those that listen. Always listen to both sides, if possible, in order to obtain the most information on the subject in question. Ultimately, it is up to you to decide which one of the tales you believe.
When I was trapped in my bedroom, of course, my thoughts weren't as profound. I was applying my new knowledge in a really stupid way. I needed to fix things up...make them right again. I don't know if it was just me or if it was the large dosage of painkillers they put me on, but I made my decision. I needed to get out of the house.
It was such a crazy idea at the time because I wanted to show Mark who was boss. The place I chose to escape to was the Mission. That's right, folks, I wanted to go to the Feast of Father Serra Festival. I told you, I really must have been nuts. Mark would be there and I could have been caught. I was already in deep trouble with him, so how much worse could it get?
So I pulled myself out of bed and threw on some different clothes (I don't know what they looked like because I was in a hurry). I grabbed my sunglasses and literally tore out of my house. I took my car and drove to the Mission. I parked a block or so off, just in case anyone could recognize my snazzy ride. Then I walked all the way there and entered through the back way.
The courtyard was buzzing with tourists and townspeople, all floating from stand to stand. I tried to cooly place my sunglasses on, but my nose cast made it nearly impossible. I had to practically wiggle it all over my face until it finally sat awkwardly on the cast. Then I walked over to the volunteer booth. The old fart they hired to sit at the stand and check in volunteers was, of course, asleep. I scanned the signup sheet until I saw bubbly cursive that said, "Susannah Simon, Cannoli booth." I looked around the sunny courtyard until I spotted the Cannoli booth...completely deserted.
I thought to myself...if I were a green-eyed beauty, where would I be? I tried to think really hard, but my mind was like a blob of pudding. I touched my nose-cast, and realization hit. Jesse.
I ducked into the pathway that lead to the cemetery, where I knew Suze went practically everyday. The gates leading to it were opened slightly. I slipped behind the archway of adobe that held the wire gate. Then I peered in the cemetery and yanked off my glasses as quickly as possible. I couldn't believe my eyes.
I could see them perfectly. They were standing right in front of his grave...looking down at the headstone. Suze had her hand in his, not even fazed by the fact that the same person whose body was rotting below her was holding her hand. That headstone...it had those years on it. The year he was born and the year that he died...the same numbers that fueled the anger inside of me. I had to send him back where he belonged. But I didn't move from my spot. I was bound by a promise...a promise I had made out of love for Suze. I said I wouldn't harm her precious Jesse. So I just stood there and eavesdropped on them.
"I'm sorry about everything," Jesse said softly as he looked at her.
She kept her eyes on the headstone and sighed. "I understand, I guess. I mean, you can't help it if you...well, don't feel the same way about me as I do about you."
"Is that what you think? That I wanted to leave?"
"Didn't you?" Suze asked as she faced him. I couldn't see her eyes because her back was to me, but I bet they were brightening up a little.
"How could I stay? After what happened between us, Susannah, how could I stay?" Jesse asked as he turned his head away. I began to wonder what really happened between them. It sounded a little more than just a little fight, which was my first guess. I assumed that Jesse and Suze had a disagreement, that's why she was upset when I mentioned Jesse. But you should never assume anything. It makes an ass out of you and me. [A/N: get it...assume...ass...u...me? One of the brothers at our school says it all the time...quite funny hearing it from a religious person.]
Suze seemed just about as confused as I was at the time. "What happened between us? What do you mean?"
"That kiss," Jesse said softly, almost to the point where I couldn't hear him. He let go of her hand. The stood in silence for a bit, they were both in their own little world together...a world in which I was on the outside looking in. I could never be a part of it. I could never crush it...no matter how hard I tried, because they were in love. And I can't break the bonds of love.
"How could I stay?" Jesse asked again, breaking the silence. "Father Dominic was right. You need to be with someone your family and your friends can actually see. You need to be with someone who can grow old with you." He paused for a moment and then added, "You need to be with someone alive."
When Jesse said those words, a burst of hope ran through my veins. Father Dom was right, he said...he was admitting that I was right. Jesse knew it. Suze couldn't escape it. I thought that maybe she would realize how stupid it was for her to swoon over a dead guy...that maybe she would open her eyes and awake from her dream world. I thought that maybe she would realize that she didn't need Jesse. She needed ME. I was usually right about things, but not this time.
"Jesse, I don't care about any of that," she said as she looked at him again. "That kiss...that kiss was the best thing that ever happened to me."
I heard the words escape from her mouth, but I didn't want to believe them. It all seemed so unreal, like time had stopped along with reality. Each syllable that she had said felt like Jesse was breaking my nose over and over again. But it wasn't my nose that felt the pain. It was my heart.
Jesse took her in his arms and started kissing her. I suddenly couldn't feel my legs anymore. Once I had seen their lips meet, I leaned heavily against the adobe gate. My whole world was collapsing in front of me. I felt the same feeling I felt in the vision. I felt alone, scared, suffocated, and worst of all...hurt. Everything felt like it was shaking all over again...like I was having another internal battle with myself. My thoughts were scattered. What am I going to do? I kept asking myself that question, over and over. Finally I couldn't stand to be there anymore. I took off running, not even caring what the tourists might think of me.
I got into my car and started breaking down...not in tears, with shouts or anything like that. I must have forgotten to breathe or something because the next thing I knew I was hearing the constant blaring of a car horn.
My head was resting on something hard...the steering wheel. I lifted my head slowly and the horn stopped. These tourists were running toward my car, asking me if I was okay. I put my key in the ignition and sped off, leaving them to eat my dust. I was not 'okay'...I was never 'okay'...I will never be 'OKAY' ever again.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: The end. I really can't find my words right now...
Oh, here they are. Sorry, I needed to calm down a bit. Phew, I can author note now. I want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing. I really couldn't have done it without ya'll. I really, really mean it guys. I'm totally serious. You guys gave me over fifty reviews...and that has made me possibly the happiest writer on Fan Fiction. Thank you all SO MUCH!
I'll probably take a break from writing for a while. Once everything is less hectic with band and the play, then I can start writing again. And once I do start writing again, I have a few cool ideas. What? You thought you could get rid of me? Haha, try again! Just tell me what you think about these...
*Trapped: What happens when I get vacuumed in my favorite book with a hot, but highly dangerous shifter as my guide?
*Magdalena: The junior class of Mission Academy finally goes on a field trip to the Mission San Juan Capistrano. Weird things start going on, caused by the ghost of a small girl that died in an earthquake. Will Suze be able to keep her classmates out of possible danger without revealing her deepest secret?
Those are just two of the ones I've thought of. Tell me if you like any of the ideas and perhaps give me some ideas you might have about them.
So I guess this is goodbye for now. I won't be gone forever...I'll still be around, haunting all of you in reviews and such. Just remember, my friends...
"I'll be back."
