WOWERZ! what is it up to? 17 reviews now?! coolies!

Btw Jack is an ass for personal reasons. I just have never seen anyone portray Jack as an ass who is a ladies man. So here it is!

P.s. I love jack…know this…

Next chapter!

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"WHY DID YOU SLAP MY ASS!?" I yelled at Jack. I grabbed his arm from behind me and flipped him over my shoulder, how I did so is a complete mystery to this day. Maybe it had something to do with my ass being in danger, I don't know.

He jumped up and opened his eyes wide as he backed up a little bit. He put up his hands as though defending himself from me.

"Sorry Love," he replied turning back around quickly to face Legolas.

"Oh my god," I said turning to face Melissa and Cherice, who were giggling madly. "I swear I think I am going to kill that man before this is all over."

"Oh no!' Melissa cried, latching herself onto my shoulder. "Don't kill him!"

"Well then, what do we do with them then?" I asked pushing her off.

Melissa looked a little miffed for a moment, but I didn't care. All I cared about was getting back to math class. Which now that I think of it is kinda stupid seeing as I made the wish in the first place to get OUT of math class. hmm.

ANYWAY

I continued talking. "What do we do about them?"

"Well my suggestion would be to take them behind a tree and screw them madly." Cherice said as innocently as a comment like that could be made.

'Oh my god.' I thought

"No I don't think we will be doing that." I said. I heard a noise behind me and turned again to face Jack prancing around Legolas asking him a thousand questions at once.

"Where did you get tha bow? Ever been to Singapore? You like rum? Ever hear of Will Turner? Crazy lad that one is. Hey! Can I get a look at this bow?''

Legolas looked up at me. "You are sure that you don't want me to harm him?"

"Yea, for now that is." I answered.  "JACK NO! Put that down!" I yelled noticing that Jack had grabbed the knives off Legolas' back and was swinging them dangerously around. I swear this guy (who was supposed to be like forty right?) was acting like a FREAKING THREE YEAR OLD!

Jack dropped the knives, and stood up straight looking like a kid that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Hi Legolassy!" Cherice cooed from behind me.

Legolas cringed a little and picked up his knives. I blinked a few times and said, "Gentlemen." I hesitated and looked at the two guys. "Well erm, Pirate and Elf. First off, Jack leave Prince Greenleaf alone." I know, I know, shut up.

"Please, call me Legolas." Legolas said bowing slightly.

"Yes of course. Now, can you two sit nice whilst I talk to my friends for a moment?

Legolas nodded solemnly, but Jack just started grinning madly. I decided to ignore it and turned back around to face Melissa and Cherice. "All right you two, now if we are going to-AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Before I could finish my sentence, I was felt something wrap it's arms around my waist while it tackled me to the ground.

I landed on something hard, and naturally, it hurt. But at that moment, I really wasn't too concerned with that.

"WHO THE FUCK TACKLED ME AND HOW DO THEY WANT TO DIE?!?!" I screamed jumping up. Before I could utter another obscenity though, I looked around and shrieked, "GOOD GODS!" for no longer was I in a clearing in a forest, but in the middle of the ocean, on a ship. I looked down and noticed the hard thing I had landed on, was the helm's platform. "What the hell?" I mumbled looking around some more in awe.

"I can't believe that actually worked Love." I heard my tackler say from behind me.

I angrily turned around and faced him with my hands on my hips. "I should kick you." I growled. I was pissed. Very pissed. Not because Jack had tackled me. Not even because I now had a beautiful bruise forming on my head. No. I was pissed because I was stranded on a ship, alone, with Jack Sparrow.

Now again, I know what you all are thinking. "Stupid Mary-Sue! What is wrong with you!? Why wouldn't you want to be on a ship alone with Jack Sparrow?!?!" Well, I'll tell you why. He is absolutely NOTHING like you all think him to be. Yes, he was still a sexy beast of a pirate dude, but other than that TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Annoying, Perverted, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE PEOPLE HE SLAPPED MY ASS!

"Wait Love! We are back on my ship! Othankyougod!" he squealed laying down and kissing the deck. I regarded this action with very wide eyes and an open mouth.

After a moment of the torturous make out session, I pulled Jack up by the back of his coat. "Ok, OK! Enough of that! GET UP!"

"Sorry Love, It's just, I am so happy to be back here!" he said sniffling. It sounded like he was about to cry. I, however, did not want to see a crying 40 year old man, so I quickly changed the subject.

"Why did you tackle me?"

Jack looked me up and down for a moment, as if he just noticed me. "Well Love, you see, when you and Melissa Number One jumped me, back in that first place we were at-" His eyes settled on my chest, "We went to that other place, you know the forest. So I figured if I jumped YOU then maybe we could get outta there, that Prince fella was kinda messin with me head." He finished to my chest.

I looked to the side totally pissed that this guy would actually openly look at my boobs. "HEY! Pervy Pirate!" I snapped my fingers in front of his face, "I am up here." I finished pointing to my eyes.

"What?" he replied finally looking up at me.

"KEEP YOUR EYES OFF MY BOOBS!" I yelled getting even more pissed, if possible. I looked at him and got an idea. "Hey! Do you think that if I ran into YOU it would take me back to my friends?"

"NO!NONONONO!" he replied rather quickly throwing up his hands and backing away from me. "That wouldn't work."

"And why the hell not?" I asked slapping my forehead.

"Because." He said looking trying to act like he knew what he was talking about, while wearing the "I Have No Idea What The Hell I am Talking About"  face. "It only works once." His eyes started to sink down towards my chest again.

"Well," I started crossing my arms over my boobs. "How exactly do you know this?"

Jack looked a little hurt for a moment before he looked back up at my eyes and replied, "I just do, now can you live with that or not?" He turned around. BIG mistake.

I made a quick decision. "NO!" I screamed as I sprinted towards him dead on.

However, just before I tackled him, he casually stepped to the side, which sent me tumbling over the railing and off the ship.

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ooh! I fell!

Crap!

I promise, in the next chapter, more ass grabbing, and an appearance (or add in) of WILL TURNER!

HUZZAH!

Don't forget

I love jack sparrow