I am updating now! YAY! doesn't that make you just the slap happiest thing in the entire world?!?

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"...And he had a gun! So of course I threw myself on the man to prevent him from harming the children, but the girls...they tripped over me in the process of fleeing from the room; fell and were GONE!" I heard Mr. C say as I untangled myself from Legolas.

"HEY!" I yelped, "You didn't throw yourself on Jack- me and Melissa tackled him! And if I recall correctly, you were standing in the corner screaming like a girl!"

As you can probably tell me and Legolas had landed back in my math room, in the middle of a conversation between my math teacher and a very burly cop.

"You're version is a little skewed Mr. C." I continued crossing my arms.

It was that moment that I realized that opening my big mouth was quite possibly the biggest mistake of my life, because no sooner had the words escaped my mouth, Mr. C. got this kinda glazed look in his eyes as he turned to face me.

"MELISSA!" He squealed rather girlishly. "Look officer! This is one of the girls!"

The police officer made a face like 'Yhea, you really need to be in the looney bin.'

My teacher didn't notice though because he had decided that a big hug from him was in my future.

I did NOT like the aspect of THAT.

I tried to move, tried to desperately dodge his moment of insanity, but my feet were glued to the ground.

Fortunately my mouth still worked. In fact, it has yet to fail me!

"Legolas! LEGOLAS!" I cried as my teacher got closer and closer. "TACKLE! NOW! ME! GOOO!" and just as Mr. C. crossed the invisible personal space line, I felt Legolas tackle me to the ground.

Upon sitting up I realized that we were in another classroom. I recognized it as being Cherice's history class. You see, I had to pickup her homework one week when she was home for a sore toe.

Luckily the room was empty, or so we thought.

"Ok Legolas, according to my calculations we only have to do this two more times." I said looking up at him as he stood up.

"Let us hurry, we don't know what those East India men might be doing to Cherice." He replied, bending down and pulling me up.

The we heard it...

"Cherice? I once knew a girl named Cherice."

Legolas and I both jumped about three feet into the air. So much for his Elvin senses.

After recuperating from the freak attack, we slowly turned around and were face to face with Cherice's history teacher.

"She's not here now though, in fact she magically disappeared with the man you just appeared with!" He continued with a smile that screamed, 'I have just gone completely INSANE!' which was actually quite true. "Well guys, it's been real nice, but I think I am going to just go check myself into a mental hospital now. It's been a hard day." He picked up his things and just walked past us and out the door.

"Well-" I said blinking ferociously, "At least he didn't-"

But before I could finish my sentence, Cherice's teacher poked his head back into the room and said with a giant grin, "Now don't forget kids, safe sex is the best sex!" And with that he disappeared back into the hallway as I felt my face turn all 72 shades of red.

Legolas looked down at me, "What's sex?" he asked looking genuinely curious.

I opened and closed my mouth in a futile attempt to explain the art of sex to him. Luckily a better thought popped into my mind, "When we get back, you can ask Cherice. She will be glad to tell you!"

"Very well," Legolas replied. "Let us get this over with." And once again we sprinted towards each other, crashed into one another, and fell to the ground.

"Ooookay Legolas, next time-let's try not aiming for my head." I said massaging the spot where some part of the elf had come in contact with my head. I could tell there was going to be a giant bruise right in the middle of my forehead in which no amount of concealer could conceal.

"Here-Let me help." Legolas replied, gently peeling my hand of off my forehead.

"Have at it." I said dropping my arm to the side.

What happened next was quite possibly the COOLEST thing I had ever experienced in my life.

Legolas gently placed his fingers on the sore spot and mumbled some words which were undoubtedly Elvin. But the best part was the tingling that started at my head and went all the way to my toes. WOO! It was the best thing I had ever felt in my life. And afterwards, my head didn't hurt AT ALL!

"Wooooow, that was cool." I said grinning stupidly.

Legolas smiled and said, "Good, your head isn't as red."

"Thanks." I replied looking around. "Hey, where are we?" I realized that we were in the forest we had first met Legolas in.

"This is Mirkwood." He replied looking around. "My home."

"Hey, is the War of the Ring over yet?" I asked.

"The what?" He replied looking down at me with a puzzled expression.

Oops, I though, guess that hasn't happened yet. "Uh, nothing. I was just thinking out loud."

"All right, let's just go. Only once more right?" He asked stepping back.

"I pray so." I replied stepping back. "Ok...............GO!"

Instead of the familiar crashing into Leggy, I ran for him, heard a sort of popping noise, and went right THROUGH him!!! I was so surprised that I forgot to stop running, and unfortunately, I was running right for something.

"POLE! POLE!!!!" I screamed flailing my arms, still unable to stop. Luckily someone grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me down. "ARRR-OOOF!" I grunted as I went crashing on my back.

I looked up and saw Will's very amused face. "Kiss my ass pirate boy." I said to his smirk.

Of course, Legolas and I had made it back to the Pearl. At the moment I hadn't noticed that Will was out of the cell and we were sailing along with no sign of the East India people. But you will see I do in a moment. Right after I dealt with Jack.

Will bent down and pulled me up, just like Legolas had done, and then I heard it.

"LASS!!!!"

I flinched and turned slowly to see Jack racing towards me going AT LEAST four hundred miles an hour.

"AHHH!" I screamed jumping into Will's arms and burying my head in his neck. "Don't let him get me!!!"

"Here Jack!" Will said gleefully as he threw me into Jack's arms. OOOOH that boy was SCREAMING for a good head smacking.

"Lass! I missed ye soooo much!" Jack squealed swinging me around...and around...and around. This spontaneous violent love he was showing me was making me sick...literally. Especially when he set me down and started squeezing the bejeesus out of me.

"JACK!" I gasped, "Let me breath! I NEED TO BREATH."

Jack giggled and released me from his death grip. "Ye has been gone so long...I am just so glad to see you lass!"

"Believe me," I replied, "The feeling is definitely one sided."

It was then that I realized that they were out of the cells.

"HEY!" I yelled. "How did you guys get out of the brig?! And what do you mean I have been gone for so long-we were only gone twenty minutes at the MOST!"

"Actually...you two were gone about a week." I heard Melissa say from behind me.

I turned to face her, and saw that she looked like she had neither changed her clothes nor bathed in a week.

"But how?!" I asked.

"Something having to do with a space/time continuum?" she shrugged. "I dunno."

It was then that I finally realized Legolas was gone. "Alright guys, where is the elf?" I asked planting my hands on my hips.

The fact that I had said that, just at that moment, was the most worst thing that ever could have happened.

Because it was that moment that Cherice came up.

"MY ELF IS GONE?!?!" She screamed looking panicked. "WE HAVE TO GO FIND HIM! JACK! YOU ARE GOING WITH ME!"

And before you could say 'This day can't get worse' Cherice ran right for Jack, taking Melissa with him in the poof that soon followed.

Will and I stood there for a moment dumbfounded. "Oh my god!" I moaned.

"I'll bet you ten shillings it takes them a week to get back." Will said totally ignoring my apparent misery.

"How can you think of betting at a time like this?!" I squealed.

"I bet Melissa." He said in response, looking quite smug.

I took a deep and slow breath. "Did you win?"

"Five shillings and a backrub!" He replied grinning. "Are you going to bet me?"

"Two weeks." I replied reluctantly.

"You're on." Will said shaking my hand.

"This is going to be the longest two weeks of my life." I said sitting down on the deck.

"It could only be one week." Will said hopefully as he sat down next to me.

I took that moment to give him the head whacking that he had earned earlier.

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