Wow! What a lot of great responses! I never expected this many ideas! Obviously I won't be able to do them all but I will definitely do Shakespeare sooner or later! I promise! As well as a few other old standbys in English Classes. Next up is another book I really hated! And I mean really hated!

That's Why The Lady Is a Tramp

"Only at the Xavier Institute you'll find target practice in the middle of English class," Kurt groaned.

"Well it gives new meaning to the words 'book burning'," Amara snickered.

"Well that was fun," John sighed. "Any other books you want to discuss?"

"How about Madame Bovary?" Thornn suggested.

"Should have called it Madame Ovary," John grumbled. "You've heard of that book?"

"You'd be surprised at the junk people throw down the sewers," Thornn told him. "Although personally whoever threw down a huge load of Gustave Flaubert books down there made the right call."

"How can you say that?" Kurt asked. "He was a great writer! He was ahead of his time! He was…"

"The only writer I know to take all the fun out of a perfectly good slut," John interrupted.

"The book isn't just about adultery," Kurt told him.

"Should have been," Thornn grunted. "It would have been a lot more interesting!"

"Wait I've never heard of this book," Amara raised her hand. "What's it about?"

"I'll tell you what it's about," John said. "It's about this doctor guy. Well no sooner does he lose his first wife he goes off and marries the daughter of one of his patients! He should have stuck to cash to pay his bill. He would have been better off."

"Here we go…" Kurt sighed.

"Of course the so called 'lady' he marries is anything but," John continued. "She's a selfish whiny brat who hates living in the suburbs with her husband and kid. I admit the doctor's not exactly a prize. He's ugly, boring and he keeps screwing up on the job so that half his patients' legs keep dropping off."

"Well there's a medical malpractice suit waiting to happen," Bobby said.

"Bingo," John said. "Ironically it's the lawyer for the guy that she first runs around with. I know lawyers screw their clients but this is ridiculous!"

"This is the boring book?" Jubilee asked. "Doesn't sound boring to me!"

"You haven't read it," Thornn told her. "Trust me. The writer ruined it by going on and on describing things. Like it takes forty paragraphs to describe a pig farm! No thank you! Way too much information here!"

"Well that was part of his style," Kurt told her. "He came up with a new way of looking at things."

"You mean a new way of being bored," Thornn told him.

"It's called indirect libre," Kurt said. "Where events are recorded from the view point of a character but not in his voice."

"What does that mean?" Amara asked.

"It means the writer took all the fun out of the book that's what it means," John said. "This is an example: 'When Dodo Brain realized that his lawyer and his wife were making out he considered the fact that he should be slightly upset. And then he was.' But instead of saying like that he takes two hundred pages to describe how that person felt."

"Oh," Amara nodded. "I see. So what happens?"

"Well basically she dumps the lawyer for some rich guy then goes back to the lawyer again," John said. "Goes broke and decides she's better off dead than being poor with her family. So she shoves some arsenic into her mouth until she croaks, which she should have done at the beginning of the book! We would have all been better off!"

"But it's a classic tale of frustration and depression," Kurt defended.

"Which you get from reading the book," Thornn told him.

"Look if you're gonna read a book about adultery at least read Lady Chatterly's Lover," John said. "At least it has a few good sex scenes in it and the prig the heroine was married to deserved it!"

"Or you can just turn on a soap opera," Tabitha suggested.

"Good idea," John nodded. "Hey! Isn't Days of our Passions in Another World on now?" He turned on the television in the room. "Okay kids you wanna learn about adulterous heroines: Here's a prime example!"

"Oh god no…" Kurt groaned as the students got involved in the show.

"Hey today's the day Monica and Erica get into a catfight at Joan's wedding!" Ray shouted.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"Monica's ticked off at Erica for sleeping with her husband and brother," Ray explained.

"She's one to talk," Tabitha said. "Monica's sleeping with Erica's husband, both her brothers and her uncle!"

"They also both slept with Joan's fiancée," Bobby added.

"Which explains why she's now shoving both of them into the wedding cake," John whooped. "I LOVE A GOOD CATFIGHT!"

"I'm starting to love English class!" Ray shouted happily.

"Yeah who wouldn't love an English class filled with book burnings and watching soap operas?" Kurt groaned.

Next: Another classic bites the dust! And more fun for all! Stay tuned!