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Title: A Bouncing Baby Boy (04)
Author name: 100percent_Sirius
Author email: Serpentiosa@hotmail.com
Category: Humor
Sub Category: Romance
Keywords: Ginny Draco Severus Kathryn
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: SS/PS, CoS, PoA, GoF, FB, QTTA, OoTP
Summary: Harry, Hermione and Ron aren't very happy about Ginny's attachment to Baby Draco. They call a meeting to do something about it. But nothing gets past Baby Draco. He knows what the Terrible Trio are trouble, even if 'Din-Din' doesn't!
DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ABBB Chap4

Arthur and Molly Weasley smiled fondly at each other as an owl dropped two letters on the kitchen table. Ron and Ginny wrote everyday. Molly and Arthur had worked out a system, Molly read Ginny's letter first, and Arthur read Ron's. That might have been unfair as Ginny generally wrote much thicker letters, but Ron's handwriting was so messy that Molly almost always finished Ginny's letter first.

"Has Ron's handwriting improved Arthur dear?" she asked, lovingly slitting open Ginny's letter with a spell.

"No," replied Arthur. "He hates spiders so much you'd think he'd stop scrawling like one."

Molly laughed and started to read Ginny's letter. She fainted.

Arthur dropped Ron's letter. "Molly!" he said, bending anxiously over the prone body of his wife. "Molly!"

Ginny's letter lay on the floor, innocent with neat black handwriting on pale blue paper. Arthur fanned Molly with one hand and picked the letter up with the other. Arthur read the first sentence. His face blanched and he was suddenly inches away from joining his wife on the floor.

Dear mom and dad,

I have a baby!

***

Ginny picked Draco up and kissed him. "How's my ickle Drakkie then?" she asked, tickling him.

Hermione looked on sourly. "I thought you said that kissing him was unhygienic?"

Ginny ignored Hermione and continued to dote upon Draco. Hermione rolled her eyes and stomped out of the room.

"Weasley!" she snarled, seeing Ron lounging about in a corner. "I want to talk to you."

Ron looked up and gulped. Hermione Granger was not one to be trifled with when in this sort of mood. She was the original Iron Lady herself: snappish, decisive, quick tempered, smart and sarcastic. Her bushy brown hair was tied back in a severe bun and her steely brown eyes were never hesitant.

"What is it?" he managed to answer.

Hermione marched over and towered over him. "Your sister is driving me nuts with that little monster."

"Ah." Ron fell into gloomy contemplation. He felt that Ginny was wasting affection on Draco Malfoy that would better have been used on an elder brother. "I see."

"You don't." Hermione was adamant. "We can't call our souls our own anymore. If we even turn over in the night your sister will nag at us for running the risk of awakening the baby. We have to help her feed him because she'll never finish her homework if she does everything herself and that little brat isn't even grateful. He bites us, and screams. We haven't slept for a week because he has colic at night and screams the roof off. Ginny drives us mad with hygiene because she's afraid that we'll infect Draco - like that little beast will even let us near enough to infect him! - And she waits on him hand and foot."

Hermione stopped for breath and Ron managed to interrupt her before she could manage to continue her tirade. "Well, what do you want me to do about it?" he asked.

Hermione fixed him with a resolute eye. "You, Ron Weasley," she said, "will talk some sense into her. Let her know that Malfoy isn't the only one in the world. In the meantime, I will be looking for ways to turn him back and let him plague the Slytherins again. Capeesh?"

Ron nodded. What else could he do? "All right..." He was already trying to remember the counter-charm of the Bat-Bogey Hex.

"Harry will help."

Ron gave a satisfied smile; he wouldn't go into the battlefield alone.

****

Molly was holding a cup of tea and rereading Ginny's letter. When she came to and brought herself to finish Ginny's letter, already planning a Howler demanding who the father was, she shook her head grimly. Arthur pressed the cold compress to his head. "Well?" he asked weakly.

Molly folded Ginny's letter up. "It's all right Arthur," she said. "She isn't pregnant."

"Thank god for that," said Arthur. "What on earth did she mean by giving us a shock like that? April Fool?"

Molly rolled her eyes. "April's Fool is still a few months away Arthur."

"Really?" said Arthur, quite oblivious. "I tried it at the office one day. But you know, they didn't find it as funny as the Muggles apparently do. I wonder why?"

"As long as they didn't throw you into Azkaban..." said Molly. "And if you used something that Fred and George cooked up, I'm surprised they didn't."

Seeing his wife's eyes, Arthur subsided. He gave a sheepish sort of grin and asked, "Well, what about Ginny's baby? How did she get a hold of it? Or is it like the Muggle term of endearment - er - or is that 'honeybunches'?"

"She hasn't got a boyfriend if that's what you mean," said Molly Weasley in a tone that meant 'heaven forefend'. "No, she--she has turned Draco Malfoy into a toddler again apparently and she has to take care of him."

"You mean kill him?"

"There's no need to look so hopeful Arthur, when I said 'take care of him' I didn't mean that. She just has to care for him and she wants my advice and for me to send some of the boys' old clothes, toys and possibly a cradle since he sleeps with her and he still wets the bed."

"Oh..." Arthur looked disappointed. "Well, why can't she send him back to Lucius for a while, or send him to us? We can take care of him!"

"Lucius would tear up the turf and Ginny with it if he heard. Apparently Dumbledore has forbidden any student to mention it on pain of expulsion and, for heaven's sake Arthur! I am not giving you the chance to feed Draco Malfoy arsenic in his milk!"

"Oh I wouldn't do that."

"Nor can you Avada Kedavra him in his sleep. No, I'll send her that foldable crib that we used for the twins; you know the one with special steel bars? And some clothes, and Ron's teddy."

"Doesn't that one still have eight legs?"

Molly smiled, devilishly it must be admitted. "I'm sure the baby won't notice."

"Oh yes, he'll grow up thinking all bears have eight paws."

"Oh...Albus will be able to find the counter-spell soon."

"He'd better," said Arthur, more soberly. "Or we'll have Lucius Malfoy barking at our heels."

"Mmm," agreed Molly. "Well, I just go pack up the things and - Arthur dear? Feed Errol with some strengthening spells in his bird food will you? He might not make the journey."

***

Meanwhile, Ron and Harry were plotting guiltily near the fire with Hermione in the middle. The shadows played across her face and made her look fiendish and very, very intimidating. Ron kept shooting uneasy looks at her, which she pretended not to notice. She enjoyed being the boss here, and as the bookworm of the Terrific Trio; she rarely got a chance to perfect her management (terrorization) skills.

"Have you made a plan yet?" she asked after an interval of apprehensive glances and whispers.

"What?" said Harry. "I thought you were thinking up one."

Hermione sighed and kneaded her temples. "Am I going to be around you guys forever?"

Ron spoke up unexpectedly. "Hopefully, yes."

Hermione looked surprised. She smiled. Ron smiled back. Harry wasn't quite sure whether he preferred dominatrix-Hermione or Hermione-and-Ron-sitting-in-a-tree. He cleared his throat. "What are we going to do with Malfoy?" he asked, running his fingers through his hair.

The moment was broken. Ron looked startled and so did Hermione, but she soon put on her strict mask again. "Right," she said as if neither Ron nor he had spoken. "I am not going to be around all your lives. So you might have to use your own brains for yourself. Just try. I'm sure you can do it."

Ron and Harry looked at each other and pulled a face. Not sure whether she was being sarcastic or encouraging.

***

Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson were sitting in the Slytherin common room. "I miss him so much," moaned Crabbe. He was talking about Draco Malfoy. He had only been able to see him from a distance, dandled by Virginia Weasley. Oh they missed him! If Crabbe closed his eyes, he could almost imagine Draco sitting in his usual velvet throne, the seat no other Slytherin was allowed to take, the seat that Pansy Parkinson had now blasphemed by planting her bum on. But she was dandy with a wand and she was one of the most important people in Draco's entourage so he didn't dare do anything.

"I know..." groaned Goyle.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "I think you two have masochistic tendencies."

***

Draco yanked Ginny's shiny braid. "Pweety!" he exclaimed happily.

"Thank you," said Ginny, smiling at him. "Good boy, Draco. Do you want to go down to the Great Hall?"

"See Unkel Sevvie?" he asked.

"If you want we can go see Unkel - I mean - Professor Snape. Do you want to see Professor Lim too?"

"Oo?"

"The nice lady who took you to Unkel Sevvie last time. Remember Drakkie? The one with glasses and black hair."

Draco made a face. "Blurgh. Wanna see Unkel Sevvie. Wanna see him now! Now! Unkel Sevvie. Go, go, Din-din!"

Ginny laughed and buried her face in his silvery hair. Draco ignored her like a little prince used to homage. "Go, Din-din. Pwease?"

"Oh ok," she said, still laughing. "We can get you some pumpkin juice as well?"

"Goody," said Draco happily. "Can make dwawings of Din-din again. Pumpkin juice color like Din-din hair!"

"Only you could make that comparison and mean it a compliment!" said Ginny. "Come on now. We'll walk, okay?"

Draco shook his head empathically. What? He, Draco Malfoy, walk like a commoner? Perish the thought! But Ginny persisted. When Unkel - Professor Snape had delivered him back to her yesterday, he had commented that by now he ought to be able to walk. Ginny was frightened at the thought that Draco might somehow be backwards so she was encouraging him to walk everywhere. However, he wasn't making it easy for her.

She set him down on the floor, but he just sat there. So she gently pulled him up and tried to make him put his feet on the floor with her holding his arms. He bunched up his legs and just hung there. Finally, Ginny had to give up if they were to get to the Great Hall by midnight. She hadn't really tried very hard, as she enjoyed the comforting weight of him in her arms like an anchor.

"Come on then," she told him. "Let's go find Professor Snape. We'll try walking again soon and you'd better put in more effort!"

Draco gurgled innocently at her, predictably melting her like butter.

"Oh, you cute ickle darling!"

***

Ginny walked out of her dormitory and nearly tripped over Ron, Harry and Hermione. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "What on earth are you three doing?"

They jumped and looked guiltily at her. Draco smiled a very evil smile that, despite his angelic blonde looks, looked very suitable on him. Ron glared at him. What spell had been cast onto Ginny to make her disregard the danger that Malfoy the Menace fairly exuded?

"Hi Ginny." Hermione was the first to gather her wits. "Where are you taking him?"

"Just to the Great Hall," said Ginny cheerily. Draco narrowed his eyes at them. How come Din-din didn't see how terrible these three treacherous twits were?

"Have a nice day!" said Harry, smiling at her and almost pushing her out of the room. Ginny allowed herself to be pushed, a bewildered expression on her face.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" she asked.

"Get rid of you? Heh-heh, - uh - what made you say that? Get rid of you - uh- of course no!" babbled Harry and Ron. "Well, bye!" They slammed the door shut.

Ginny scratched her head, expertly balancing Draco on her hip. "You think they're acting weird too?" she asked Draco.

He stared at her. Din-din, they're always weird.

"Uh-huh." She nodded. "I thought so too. Oh well. Do you think mom got my letter? I hope my beginning wasn't too abrupt. I hope she sends me the stuff you need too, Draco! We'll get you a nice teddy, okay? And some decent clothes so I don't have to keep asking the house-elves to wash yours. They're overworked as it is. Right, Draco?"

Draco cooed and snuggled against her. He didn't really care what Din-din was saying, but he liked the singsong that she made with her mouth. Her hand gently stroked her hair. And so they proceeded on their happy way to the Great Hall.

***

Errol flapped his wings tiredly, a (what seemed to him) cumbersome package dangling from him. Molly Weasley had lightened the crib with a spell, and everything else as well, but Errol still thought he might collapse. Only the thought of seeing the magnificent white owl Hedwig kept him going. She needed someone older, more worldly-wise...he occupied himself with happy thoughts of her as he flew and flew and flew. The Weasleys would have been shocked at the thoughts that crossed their elderly owl's mind.

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Author notes: Sorry it took so long!


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