God Dammit Dur'id the Druid!! You had to go and put an idea into my head, didn't you?!! Stop it, alright?! I really didn't want to do any type of sequel or side story to this, but you had to get me thinking, didn't you!
*grumble* *mutter*
Fine!
Read!
Be Merry!
Just stop putting ideas into my head! OK?
The Consequences of Curiosity
Cheyenne Mountain
Colorado Springs, CO
"You broke it."
"I'm sorry, sir."
"Yeah, yeah, you're very, very sorry…but…but you still broke it," he let out a whimper of loss.
Colonel Jack O'Neill stared at the object in his hands, face contorted with pain, looking like he was about to cry. His second in command, Major Samantha Carter sat quietly in front of his desk, a look of contrition on her face, feeling very, very small.
"Why?"
"Sir?"
"Why did you break it?"
"I didn't do it on purpose, sir."
*Whimper*
"You broke it."
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir."
*Whimper*
"Do you know how hard it was to get this?"
"Yes, sir."
"You tried to reverse engineer it, didn't you?"
Major Carter hunched over in embarrassment. "Yes, sir."
"Carterrrrrr…*whimper*…now they won't let us have any more."
"I'm sorry, sir."
Colonel O'Neill tossed the (now) useless item onto his desk, and dropped his head into his hands. He was extremely upset, and was doing his best not to let his second in command see just how upset…military men don't cry, after all…big no-no.
The two highly emotional officers were interrupted by someone entering Colonel O'Neill's office. Jack lifted his head to see who dared interrupt his moment of pain.
It was one of the SGC's newer recruits…some kid named Graham Miller…Army…if O'Neill remembered correctly. The young man had been with them for almost a year, and showed great promise in leading his own team, some time in the near future.
"What can I do for you, Miller?" O'Neill asked with a heavy voice, dragging a hand down his face.
"I was told to bring you these files, sir. They're the updates on the Tok'ra situation, sir."
O'Neill gestured at the 'In' basket on the corner of his desk.
Graham dropped them into the metal bin, glancing at the object in front of the Colonel – or objects, as it were, since the item was obviously in several pieces. He gave it a double take.
"Is that…"
"Yes," O'Neill interrupted with a waspish voice.
"You tried to reverse engineer it, didn't you?" Graham responded in an amused voice.
O'Neill glared at the blonde woman on the other side of his desk, who hunched even further – which was almost impossible for someone as tall as her.
"Yes," O'Neill growled.
"Oh man…Willow's gonna be pissed," Graham said, continuing with a belated 'sir'.
"Who?"
"Willow," the younger man responded. "You did get this from CoW, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but what has that to do with whoever this Willow is?"
"Willow works for CoW…probably designed that, sir," Graham responded, gesturing at the pieces on O'Neill's desk. "They did warn you that it would become defunct if you messed with it, didn't they, sir?"
O'Neill jumped out of his chair, causing his chair to crash back into the wall, and grabbed the young man's arms.
"You know them?! How do you know them…her…um…? Can you get another?!"
"Um…I knew them from when I was stationed in Sunnydale, California – my last CO dated her best friend. And I'm not sure, sir."
"How well do you know them…her? Enough to convince them to give us another one?" O'Neill looked hopeful.
Graham carefully extracted his arms from the older man and took a step back before replying, "I didn't know them all that well…well, except for Buffy, Willow's best friend. We worked with Buffy a few times, and she saved our bacon when an experiment went crazy. I can't say we parted on the best of terms, but she was friendly when I saw her again a couple of months later, so I guess she doesn't hold a grudge."
"Well, you know them a helluva lot better than anyone else on this base, Miller!"
O'Neill grabbed Graham's arm and pulled him around the desk. Pushing him into the chair, the Colonel grabbed the phone and dialed the base's operator.
"Can you connect me to CoW in Cascade, Washington?...Okay, yeah." Pushing the handset into Graham's hand, O'Neill barked, "Talk to them!"
Graham brought the phone to his ear, giving the Colonel a dubious look as he heard ringing from the earpiece.
Upon hearing the line connect, and a sickeningly cheerful 'CoW, how may I direct your call?', the younger man stuttered, "Uh…can I, uh, speak with Buffy Summers, please?"
"Who may I ask is calling?"
"Graham. Graham Miller, a friend of Riley Finn's."
"Hold one moment, please."
Graham was surprised to hear the Stone's on the hold music, but was thankful it wasn't irritating advertisements or some kind of elevator music of mangled pop songs.
"I'm on hold, sir."
O'Neill tapped his foot in impatience. Pointing at Sam, he said, "You, keep quiet," then punched the 'Speaker' button.
"Hey! The Stones…cool."
Graham was thankful that the music seemed to relax the agitated man somewhat. He was on hold for a couple of minutes before the line finally reconnected, and a familiar cheerful voice was heard, making the younger man smile a little.
"Yo, Graham! Long time, no talkie. How ya been? Not messin' with body parts again, are you?"
O'Neill shot the younger man a curious look. Graham flushed.
"Uh, no, Buffy. I've been on the straight and narrow – full bodies only, Buffy, and not doing any messing. I swear," Graham responded, embarrassed.
"That's good to hear!" the young-sounding woman said. "I just talked with Riley and Sam last week, and they're all safe and sound in corn-hell, Iowa, so I know you're not calling about them. What can I do for you?"
"Well…um…I'm actually calling for one of the higher-ups here at the base in Colorado Springs. They…um…want to know if they can get a replacement for an item that broke."
"Broke?"
"Um…yeah."
There was a moments pause before Buffy responded, laughter in her voice, "They tried to reverse engineer it, didn't they?"
"Um…yeah," Graham responded, embarrassed at having to be the one to admit that the military couldn't keep their word.
"Willow's gonna be pissed, ya know?" Buffy laughed before asking, "What piece is it?"
O'Neill scribbled something on a piece of paper, handing it to the younger man.
Graham scrunched his eyes, holding the paper away from his face, then bringing it back towards his face as he tried to interpret the Colonel's scrawl.
"Um…the…uh…BAD-ASS unit." (A/N: Brainwave Activity Detector and Assessment of Surrounding Safety – used to detect the presence of possible hostile creatures with higher brain activity, in a one mile radius, that could pose a threat)
"Which one?"
O'Neill scribbled another note.
"The…uh… Death Star Model." Graham gave a snort of amusement, "Cute, Buffy."
"Blame Xander for that one," she laughed. "Oh man…Willow's gonna be really pissed. You know that model's only been available for six months, don't you?"
"No, I didn't, but I can see why she'd be pissed. It's a good piece to have in unfamiliar territory – I've used it myself, though it was an earlier model," Graham continued to smile slightly at the humorous name.
"You can still find unfamiliar territory in Colorado Springs?" Buffy laughed. "That statement smacks of the word 'classified', so I'm not gonna even ask."
Graham snorted in amusement.
"So, what do you want from me?"
"Uh…um…well…"
Buffy laughed again, taking pity on the stuttering man, "Let me take a guess, Graham. You want a replacement. And when the higher-up guy found out that you know us, he roped you into pleading their case, knowing that the attempt to reverse engineer the unit broke the confidentiality clause between us, which would result in the immediate decision to cut them off from future business deals."
"Got it in one, Buffy," Graham said sheepishly.
The woman on the other end of the line giggled, saying, "And let me venture another guess that he's standing behind you, breathing down your neck, hoping to all the thousands of Hell dimensions that you don't screw up."
O'Neill barked out a laugh – he liked this girl.
"You're correct, Ms. Summers," O'Neill interjected.
"Who am I speaking with now?"
"Colonel Jack O'Neill, Ms. Summers."
"It's Mrs. Ellison now, Colonel Jack O'Neill. Can I assume that, though you may not have been the one to make the error in judgment, you are the one in charge of them?"
"In a manner of speaking…I'm her Commanding Officer."
"Good. How about taking me off speaker, and having a l'il ol' private chat. Hmm?"
O'Neill pressed the 'Speaker' button, turning it off, then took the handset from the grinning younger man.
"I'm here."
"Well, Colonel Jack O'Neill, we have us a situation here. Tell me…what's the sitch with your little woman of bad decisions?"
"How do you mean?"
"Well…would you honestly say that this was a situation of an attempt to reverse engineer, or a matter of too much curiosity mixed with a distinct lack of thinking about the consequences?"
"Ohhhh…knowing my second in command as well as I do, I would definitely say it was the latter."
Buffy laughed, "I know the type only too well, Colonel. Don't worry, we trained her out of it eventually."
"That's good to hear. It gives me hope," O'Neill chuckled. "So, Mrs. Ellison, what can we do to get back in your good graces…and get another one of these doohickies?"
"To be honest, Colonel, that's gonna require a little bit of effort and a personal visit from your second in command to our facility."
"Why a personal visit?" O'Neill asked, curious.
"For Willow to give her a little talking to," Buffy chuckled, "And believe me…she'll think twice about making the same mistake after Willow gets done with her."
That piqued O'Neill's interest. "Care to elaborate?"
"No can do, Colonel, wouldn't want her to come prepared, now would we? It would defeat the purpose. Graham's a good man, Colonel. And, since Graham is a good friend of a good friend, I can give you some friendly advice."
"And what would that be, Mrs. Ellison?"
"Willow reeeeeeaaaaalllly likes Godiva chocolates," Buffy snickered. "And she's most responsive when apologies are well spoken and heartfelt."
"Understood, Mrs. Ellison. We'll be there tomorrow morning."
"See you then, Colonel, and be sure to bring the broken unit with you. Could you put Graham back on the phone?"
"Sure thing."
Smiling in relief that getting a replacement wasn't going to be as hard as he thought, O'Neill handed the phone back to Graham.
Having taken the phone off speaker, O'Neill could only hear Graham's half of the conversation, but the single word responses gave him no clue as to what they were discussing – though, with the smiles that broke out on the younger man's face, and his relaxed posture, it could only be good.
With a final 'I promise', Graham said good-bye and hung up the phone.
"So, things good?" O'Neill queried.
"Yeah…she made me promise to keep in touch," Graham smiled.
"And?"
"To keep an eye on Carter, sir."
O'Neill barked out a laugh.
"You hear that, Carter? You've got yourself a watchdog now."
Carter whimpered.
O'Neill clapped a hand on the back of her neck and, using the collar of her shirt, pulled her out of the chair.
"Come on, you rebel, we have some shopping to do. Then you've got an apology to write and memorize."
Carter whimpered again.
*****************************************************
CoW Headquarters
Cascade, WA
"Impressive."
Colonel Jack O'Neill stood before the largest building in the gated complex. While its appearance was very professional, it seemed to have an ominous presence of its own.
O'Neill shook off the feeling of being watched and grasped the elbow of his second in command who was clutching a box to her chest and silently mouthing her apology over and over again, making sure she would remember it correctly.
The two quickly entered the building and, after giving their names, stood waiting in the lobby.
After a short wait, they were directed to a special elevator behind the receptionist's desk. The young woman swiped a card through the security box, then pressed her hand on a pad next to it.
O'Neill raised an eyebrow at the extensive security, wondering just who or what was being protected within the building. He silently entered the elevator behind Major Carter.
With instructions to exit the elevator when the doors next opened, they were left to travel alone in the small compartment as the lift went up.
On its arrival, the doors opened to reveal another reception desk. O'Neill identified themselves again, and they were ushered to office down the hall on the left.
With a sharp knock, the young woman opened the office door, then gestured the two guests to enter, closing the door behind them after they stepped in.
O'Neill immediately took in the sight of an older man and two young women, one blonde and the other a red-head, chatting at the desk in the large, opulent office. The blonde pushed away from desk where she had been leaning, and approached, hand outstretched.
"Hi. Buffy Ellison. You must be Colonel O'Neill."
O'Neill nodded and shook her hand.
"And this is?"
"Curious Georgette…otherwise known as Major Samantha Carter."
Buffy chuckled, then gestured for the two to approach the desk. Waving a hand at the older man, she introduced him as Rupert Giles, Head of CoW. O'Neill shook his hand, but Carter didn't move as she continued to clutch the box to her chest.
"And this is Willow Giles, Head of our Technology Department."
Before anyone did or said anything, Carter rushed up to the desk and fumbled the box into the space in front of the red-headed young woman.
"I'm very, very sorry that I tried to find out how the BADASS unit worked. The military had nothing to do with it, and I'll never ever do it again…I promise," Carter blurted out, then slumped into one of chairs in front of the desk.
O'Neill snorted in amusement. 'THAT took her four hours to write?!'
Just when the Colonel thought she was done, Carter's techno-babbling reared its ugly head.
"It's just that I've never seen anything like the stuff we get from you. It's way ahead of everything else available to the military! Something like the BADASS unit should still be the size of a compact car, and you were able to make it as small as a palm pilot! And the technology! I've never seen a chip like that, nor the wiring to be so minimal!"
Willow's eyes narrowed on her, and she held up a hand to stop the blonde woman's speech. Carter fell silent, and hunched down in embarrassment.
"Just how far did you get in dismantling it, Major Carter."
"Um…I was able to disconnect it from its power source, and remove the chip and wiring. I was starting to download the code into my desktop when it went 'Pffft', frying the circuits."
The three members of CoW exchanged surprised glances before Willow looked back at the blonde woman.
"Then you have gotten a lot farther than anyone else, Major Carter. Just be glad you didn't continue…it would have melted, and probably set fire to your table."
The red-headed young woman fell silent for a moment, then gestured to Buffy.
Buffy nodded her head and grabbed O'Neill's elbow in an extremely firm grip. She dragged him to the door and, upon opening it, pushed him firmly out.
"Hey!"
"I'm sorry, Colonel. This is where Willow gives her a good talking to. Don't worry – she won't be hurt."
"Why can't I stay?"
"It's a private matter, Colonel. We won't be long," Buffy said firmly before shutting the door in his face.
The Colonel tried to open the door, but found it locked. He pounded on it and yelled out for them to let him in, but got no response. He gave it a kick for good measure before turning his back to the door and leaning on it.
'Damn Carter and her curiosity!'
****************************************************************
Ten minutes later, Jack heard the door-handle jiggle, and quickly pushed away from the door before it opened and made him fall on his ass.
Turning around, he was concerned to see a pale, shaking Major Samantha Carter emerge from the office, clutching a different box to her chest and being pushed gently out by a slightly smirking Buffy Ellison.
"Carter? You OK?"
"Black…veins…floating…"
"Carter?" O'Neill shook her shoulder before turning to the smaller blonde and angrily asking, "What the hell did you do to her?"
"Willow gave her a good talking to, that's all," Buffy laughed. "Don't worry – she should get over the shock in a few hours."
"If I've found that you've harmed her in any way, you'll regret it Mrs. Ellison," O'Neill growled as he wrapped an arm around the tall blonde woman and guided her gently back to the elevator.
It was a relatively quiet drive back to the airfield that housed the plane they had arrived on, Carter occasionally muttering single words like 'black', 'floating', 'veins', 'fingers', and 'lightening'.
As they sat in the plane, waiting for it to take off, Carter finally shook off the shock to some degree, and turned wide eyes to the man who looked on in concern.
With a fervent, "Never piss off Willow Giles," she shoved the box at O'Neill before curling up in her seat.
O'Neill opened the box to see a brand new BADASS unit, but couldn't help but wonder if it was worth it as he watched his normally unflappable second in command quiver in her seat.
.
.
.
.
.
Epilogue snippet:
After another 5 years with the SGC, Colonel Jack O'Neill finally succumbed to the age old adage 'I'm too old for this sh**', and went back into retirement. Carter soon followed, claiming that the SGC just wasn't the same without her Commanding Officer (but we all know the real reason). Carter not only left the SGC, but left the military altogether, and accepted the CoW's offer of a job, having had 5 years to get over the Willow-induced heebie-jeebies. O'Neill followed almost right on her heels (a lot of following going on, huh?). The two married within a year, brought on by Sam smacking Jack in the head with a freshly-caught Salmon and giving him an ultimatum…it was the fish, or her. After quickly realizing that choosing the fish meant 'no sex', Jack chose Sam. Sam managed to pop out two kids before her biological clock broke a spring, and it was only a few short years later that she profusely thanked the Goddess that they didn't have more, since both kids took after Jack. The two O'Neill kids spent many a year running around the CoW complex yelling 'ring me up, snake-head', much to the confusion of the other children. After one too many 'I'm sorry, honey…it's classified', Jack gave up and joined the CoW (if only to know what the hell was going on – 'Don't swear in front of the children, Jack!'), and was a trainer in special-ops…skills that came in handy with many a slayer. The two had a good, if kooky, life together, following only one rule…never, ever, EVER piss off Willow.
~FINIS~
That's it! PLEASE don't ask for more! I'm begging you!
I guess I should have warned you all in the beginning that the original story was kinda flippant, he? Sorry about that.
Now stop asking for sequels, dammit!
