~*Every Other Time*~
Chapter Four: The Female of the Species
Thalia: Slytherin madness. Yes. You heard right. Here, we get to see a most excellent fencing tournament-of-sorts in the Slytherin Common Room, much disgruntled Blaise Zabini, and the requisite evil plotting of Cassius Warrington and Su Li. Oh yes... and did I mention that Draco goes a LEETLE bit bonkers?
Dove: Yes. Well, now that we can't stick to canon since we've pretty much tossed it out the window anyway (OotP was… obviously not quite what we expected), we get to go completely mad. I like our version. So… yes. From this moment on, consider this an AU. And… enjoy. For I have missed D/G badly while I was gone. Therefore this chapter… feeds the craving.
Disclaimer: I must say, now that this is an AU, wouldn't you rather we owned Harry Potter? Sirius is alive in this version.
"Shock shock horror horror, shock shock horror!
I'll shout myself hoarse for your supernatural force!
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Oh, she deals in witchcraft and
One kiss and I'm zapped. Oh,
How can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast her spell on me?
Oh, How can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast her spell on me?"
- Space, "The Female of the Species"
Now that the term was comfortably (or not-so-comfortably, as the case might be) under way, Cassius Warrington called together the Slytherin team and reserves together for the first Quidditch practice of the year.
The first game of the season would be Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, and then, the next would be them against Hufflepuff. Though Warrington was not overly concerned with that game (what with Hufflepuff having to use a completely new and inexperienced Seeker), it was quite necessary to settle the few missing positions on their team.
They needed a new Chaser, now that Flint had gone, and a new Keeper as well.
As soon as they'd gotten to the pitch, Warrington surveyed the reserves carefully. Several fifth years, a handful of fourth years, and one second year. Hmm...
A round of regulars-against-reserves later, Blaise Zabini was declared the new Chaser, and fifth year Julian Moon for Keeper. But much to everyone's surprise (and dismay), the highlight of the practice was the second year reserve Seeker, Malcolm Baddock, who had almost been able to catch the Snitch before Draco Malfoy had. Baddock had seen the ball first, and only by dint of the fact that Malfoy had more experience and therefore a more precise dive was the latter able to catch it.
Though Malfoy had seemed quite irritated at this, he had skulked off after showering, seemingly oblivious to the shocked stares that his teammates had been giving him. It was quite obvious that his mind was very firmly elsewhere.
Warrington pulled Blaise Zabini aside after the practice, ostensibly to tell the newest Chaser some strategies for the upcoming games and to have someone help carry the Quidditch chest back to the broomshed. However, after the others had left the pitch, Warrington started questioning the fifth year of his roommate's recent odd behaviour.
Blaise rolled his eyes. "It's quite simple, really. Malfoy's got his knickers in a twist over the Weasley girl. He's battling it out between his pride, certain sorts of... obligations, and a persistent sort of... fascination with her that he finds distinctly distasteful." The Italian boy smirked slightly, "I daresay it was the slap that did it."
"Slap?" Warrington sniggered lightly. "What... does Malfoy have hidden kinky tendencies that none of us want to know about?"
Blaise gave a snort. "Nah... according to Calista, Weasley slapped him when he made some sort of nasty remark. Now, that's not the sort of behaviour he's used to getting from girls. Pansy wouldn't have. Tracey wouldn't have. Millicent certainly wouldn't have. And certainly he didn't expect little Weasley to do it. I mean sure, Granger's slapped him before. But then, Granger has always been rather outspoken and such... Weasley, on the other hand... so little... so innocent..."
The Head Boy chuckled, shaking his head slightly, "The little girls aren't always as innocent as they seem... Malfoy should probably understand that."
"Perhaps he's starting to. If he can come to terms with the idea and... oh... stop acting like he's three."
"True. Three-year-olds don't play Quidditch." Warrington rolled his eyes. "They whine and sulk and throw amusing but very childish tantrums."
"Amusing?" Blaise grimaced, "Hardly. Crabbe and Goyle are certainly no help to him in... er... talking about the situation. Certainly he can't talk to Pansy or Tracey or... Heaven help us... Millicent about it. Even if the three didn't want to shag him. Therefore, it lies incumbent upon yours truly to listen to disjointed and nonsensical bitching about impertinent redheaded twerps and how dare she blah blah blah and it's all I can do to bite my tongue and refrain from informing him that ickle eight-year-old boys act precisely like he does around Weasley when they like a girl... and tell him to snog her and get it out of his system already."
Warrington laughed openly at Blaise's discontented rant. "Why don't you?"
"Because he confiscated a rather large flask of shrinking powder from some fourth year sneaking to Zonko's and I'd rather my knickers remain unadulterated, thank you very much," came the immediate reply. "Why don't you talk to him about it instead? You seem rather reckless... deliberately trying to brass off that Su Li..."
"It's not recklessness," Warrington shrugged lightly, "it's entertainment. And moreover, I'm not underestimating her. Unlike the other, more stupid or idealistic folk, I don't think she's some little angel who couldn't hurt a flobberworm. Hmm, as for Malfoy... I just might. Whenever it would be most expedient and diverting to do so. Preferably in front of that brother of the girl's whom Draco hates so much."
Blaise shook his head wryly, "Are you always this evil?"
"No," Warrington grinned, "I can be worse."
***
Meantime, Draco Malfoy was stalking down the corridors of Hogwarts, a livid scowl on his aristocratic face that had more than one first year freezing against the wall in sheer terror. He wasn't sure quite where he was going. The thing he was very sure of was that whenever he got there, the Weaslette had just better be there as well, so that he could settle her once and for all.
Su, walking out of the library with Terry, noted this look and deduced that something interesting was going on. "Gotta go, see you later!" she said airily, and turned on her heel and followed Draco down the hallway. For his part, the Slytherin boy was far too riled up to notice her.
In fact, he only came to a stop by one of the small stairways leading, as far as Su could tell, in the direction of the Owlery. A very surprised Ginny Weasley, who was holding an envelope in her hand and had a quill tucked behind her ear, was standing on the bottom step, making her almost eye-level. Malfoy was clearly not about to let her past. He simply looked at her, his face quite furious and not entirely sane. Su, realizing that Weasley wasn't in the same half-mad state, hid behind a convenient gargoyle and watched the proceedings with interest.
After a few moments of crackling silence, Ginny gathered her suddenly scattered wits and spoke. "What, Malfoy? I feel certain you're not here just to stare at me. Let me by, will you, and go terrorize someone who gives a damn," she said as coolly as she could. It would have almost come off as nonchalant, except the fact the tips of her ears were turning bright red, just as Ron's were wont to do when he was nervous.
Malfoy, for his part, was having a very difficult time figuring out what exactly he had gone looking for her for. "You'd give a bloody damn if I wanted you to give one," he said angrily, slamming his fist against the wall to her left, completely cutting off her escape.
Escape was far from her mind right now. If she did, she would have to step into that electrically charged space around him. She stayed where she was. "Don't presume, Mal-ferret," she said with a faked nonchalance. In truth, she was beginning to be frightened. "Not all of us can be taken in by your oh-so-charming scowl and hideously bad attitude." She was hugging her envelope in front of her, but it was flimsy protection, and she knew it. If only his eyes did not look quite so… desperate.
"Damn you, Weaslette," he hissed, his eyes narrowing to slits. "You have no bloody right to be… to act so… to make me…" Ginny, looking terrified despite her best efforts now, tried to duck under his arm. That seemed to break any sort of control he had, and he pushed her forcibly against the wall, fusing his lips to hers for an elongated moment.
Behind her gargoyle, Su was grinning. Oh, she would really have a good time with this one…
He released her, and her hand grappled for the wall, obviously because she was having a bit of a problem staying upright. "Stay the hell away from me Weaslette," Draco said, his voice full of anger and what seemed almost like self-loathing. "Just stay the hell away, or you'll be sorry." He whirled around and stalked down the hall, his robes billowing in a fair imitation of Professor Snape. The paper-white Ginny took several moments to steady herself before heading off in another direction, her freckles standing out quite strongly on her pallor and her dark eyes very wide.
Left alone in the hallway, Su stood up from her hiding place and shook her head. "Someone needs to give those too a firm smack on the bottom, with how childish they're acting," she proclaimed to the air. A portrait on the wall sniggered appreciatively. Still, Su was grinning. Such… possibilities.
***
Draco Malfoy, still in a state of rabid, red-head-induced mania, stormed down the hallway, his hands clenched in fists. His gray eyes were blazing, and even older students stepped out of the way when they saw him coming. Desperate Slytherins driven to blind fury were not creatures to cross. It would be like prodding a very poisonous snake with one's bare hands.
Ron Weasley, however, seemed to be fond of this particular dangerous but stimulating activity.
Unlike Susan Bones of Hufflepuff, who had practically jumped out of Malfoy's way with a squeak, the redheaded boy glowered when he saw his nemesis approaching, and loudly remarked. "What's the matter, ferret boy? Lost the single brain cell that you and your two goons share?"
Draco saw red hair, and like a Spanish fighting bull, flared his nostrils and growled. "Weasley," he drawled, his voice icy, "two seconds. Two seconds. Fifteen paces of hallway. You're hopefully fast enough, you overgrown redheaded scarecrow."
Ron gave a snort, "Ah ah ah... what's this, ickle Prefect threatening a student, hmm?"
Draco marched forward, and beyond words now, bodily gave the other boy a hard shove. Ron, not expecting this, stumbled backwards, and now with his way clear, the Slytherin continued on his way towards his common room, the place of peace and tranquility, where there were no redheaded demons haunting his life, where he would be able to find rest and achieve some sort of balance in his life again...
...Yes, the encounter with Weaslette had unhinged him rather severely.
The furniture in the center of the Slytherin Common Room had been moved towards the side when Draco entered. In the center of the room was a sight that might have been surprising to those of other houses, had they been able to see, but to the Slytherins, it was nothing particularly unusual.
A tall, dark-haired boy in first year, his face a mask of concentration, was holding a silver fencing foil in one hand, his posture agile, his eyes looking for an opening. A stately-looking girl with flaxen hair, pulled back in a tight, out-of-the-way chignon, faced him, also holding a foil. Susannah Caligo, the princessly sixth year Prefect, parried the Punto Reverso that the boy aimed with a skillful twist of her wrist, and the slight chime of metal against metal rang out in the otherwise quiet common room, as several Slytherins watched the proceedings with interest.
A short while later, Susannah, after a clever feint, managed to win the "duel". A bit of applause from the audience, and the girl gave a mock-curtsey before stepping back, nodding at Benedick Jeunet. "Good match."
The boy inclined his head, and stepped away, setting his rapier down on the ground. Slytherin was probably the only house in the school that had this sort of activity.
Draco stepped up and picked up the rapier that Susannah dropped. "This is fun," he almost snarled. "I think I should have a turn."
Several looked at him rather dubiously. Susannah rolled her eyes. "You know that fencing when you aren't thinking clearly is rather a bad thing..." she stated coolly.
"WHATEVER gave you the impression that I'm not thinking clearly? Huh? HUH?!" Draco snapped, glaring at the girl.
"Perhaps the fact that you look about as angry as a herniated manticore," Warrington, leaning against the wall, remarked with a slight raise of the eyebrows.
"HERNIATED MANTICORE MY @%@#$(*&%^&@#!!" Draco waved his rapier rather wildly at the Head Boy. "Are you volunteering to go against me, then?"
Warrington gave a slight snort. "Go up against a few younger students, if you will. With you in this state of mind, you're bound to make stupid mistakes enough that it wouldn't be good for your ego to go against someone your age or older."
Despite Warrington's evident lack of confidence in Draco Malfoy's fencing prowess at the moment, the few first years who were somehow coerced into facing against the blond found that he was quite ferocious, even if he were not following the rules, and using the foil as if it were a hatchet rather than a stabbing implement. After the third round, Blaise Zabini, who had watched his roommate almost attempt to brain the hapless brown-haired boy he was up again with a most decidedly inappropriate tool for such a job, called out, "Say, Draco, try to be a bit less aggressive towards your own housemates, hmm?"
"Am pretending that they're Pothead and the Weasel, the male one," Draco snipped out between clenched teeth as he gave a rather exaggerated lunge. "Shut up and sod off!"
Blaise sighed deeply. "Why don't you pretend that they're Weasel, the female, instead?"
And even as Draco whirled around from the match, his eyes blazing, heading towards Blaise with fencing foil quivering belligerently in his white-knuckled grip, Warrington muttered. "Because he doesn't want to snog these ickle firsties. Or at least, even he wouldn't go so far as to rob the cradle in everyone else's presence, even if he were so inclined. Accio fencing foil!"
The imminent threat to Blaise's health was subverted, but Draco Malfoy's mood had not been improved. And as the blond stomped off, still in a towering rage, towards his dormitory, most of the Slytherins in the common room gave each other rather long-suffering looks.
Warrington continued to smirk in his corner, idly spinning the fencing foil in his hand.
***
For Prefect rounds the next night, Susannah had selflessly offered to go with Draco. As his mood had, if anything, worsened, after a night of quite graphic dreams and a day of a certain redhead seemingly everywhere he looked, no one had wanted to deal with him. Even the fearless Hermione looked quite terrified to be within ten feet of him. Susannah, however, had simply yanked him aside (he had looked about ready to have a go at all the Gryffindors on the principle of the thing) and, after hissing at Warrington to "Do something, damn it!" departed.
Warrington was quite unsurprised when Su offered to go with him. It was the expression on her face, nearly shining with anticipation and a secret she alone knew, that had him a little taken aback. She wasn't even attempting to hide the fact that she had something… evil in mind. No one seemed to notice, or perhaps they just thought she was in a good mood over a test score or something. They were terribly blind, after all.
Once they were strolling the dungeon area of the school, Su deigned to speak at last. "I've come across some information I believe you'd be quite interested in," she said, with the air of someone about to drop a very large bomb.
"Oh? And why would you think I would care about anything you'd have found out? I do have my own sources, you know."
"Oh, naturally," she said airily. "But Malfoy's not about to tell you, I'd wager and, well, Miss Weasley doesn't seem to consider you a confidant worth trusting. That leaves me, unless perhaps Trelawney has managed to teach you to see the unseen. No?"
Warrington shook his head. "If you refer to the fact that he wishes to snog the silly Gryffindor senseless, I'm afraid the entire house is already aware."
"Wants to?" Su asked sweetly. "Oh, no. More like, he has. And oh… was it a sight worth seeing. I could be blackmailing Malfoy with this. The thought had occurred to me… but I have something better in mind."
Despite himself, Warrington was interested. "Oh?"
"Well," Su said with a little smile, "I seem to see that your house at large is tired of Malfoy's sulks… and on my end, I just think it would be rather… amusing… the ripples of chaos that would spread if those two got over their childish foolishness. Just imagine… Lucius Malfoy's reaction alone would likely as not make the front page of the Prophet."
"So you are saying," Warrington said, his smirk anticipatory, "that you watched Malfoy snog the little Weasley girl?" He chuckled slightly. "What a terribly voyeuristic mind you have for such a little girl."
Su, unwilling to be taken in by his poke at her pride only smiled brightly. "There are certain… advantages… to keeping an eye out. In any case." She stopped and looked up at him before sticking out her hand. "I propose we call a truce for the time being… and work together towards this common goal. After all… you've much better access to Malfoy than I. And I really doubt Weasley would listen to reason from any member of the male species. I believe this endeavor would be mutually advantageous. What do you say?"
He put one hand up to his chin in thought for a few moments. "Hmm... to postpone our mutual murders for the time being until we have worked towards the common goal of seeing McGonagall faint and Snape scream like a girl, whilst the two males of the Golden Gryffindor trio start begging the female to perform Memory Charms upon them at the sight of the little Weasley snogging big, bad, Malfoy... and perhaps Lucius Malfoy having a heart attack..." The smirk on his face slowly widened, and he shook the girl's hand. "A deal."
