~*Every Other Time*~
Chapter Seven: Something to Talk About
Dove: May I just say I nearly ran myself off the road when I heard this song on the radio and suddenly thought of this fic? Too… too… perfect. No snogging in this chapter, sorry, but it's wildly amusing, anyway, and watching Warrington so completely… lost… is beyond priceless. Laugh until you cry.
Thalia: Warrington, despite being rather discombobulated in this chapter, will get back to being his gitty self in the next chapter, I promise. He's mine after all *shifty eyes*. And... well. Hmm... what else? Oh, and although we're not quite desperate enough to pimp him out for sexual favours in return for reviews yet, reviews are welcomed with squeeing anyway. Yes. Read and giggle and review. You know the drill.
Disclaimer: If we owned Harry Potter, we would probably forbid Sirius/Remus slash. Opinions on whether or not this would be a good thing tend to vary…
"People are talkin, talking 'bout people
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it
They think we're lovers kept under covers
I just ignore it, but they keep saying
We laugh just a little too loud
We stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they're seeing something we don't, darlin'
Let's give them something to talk about..."
-Bonnie Raitt, "Something to Talk About"
There lingered the taste of apples on his lips and a sting on his cheek. And for once, Cassius Warrington really, really had nothing to say.
While a good part of him wondered if she were possessed, or perhaps it was actually a Polyjuice clone of Su Li and not the real girl, deep down he understood that it couldn't have been. Polyjuice could clone physical attributes, but despite the complete bizarreness of the encounter, it was still her. Mad, crazy, perhaps-not-necessarily-a-little-girl Su Li.
Why Su Li, of all people, had pulled him, of all people, into a broom closet to... to snog senseless... now that was something he had yet to figure out.
And perhaps, he figured as he rubbed the back of his head where it had hit a broom handle... perhaps Filch's closet might not be the best place to... at least attempt to contemplate this mystery.
It was just his luck that Susannah Caligo, unwittingly part of the reason to the whole scenario that was failing to compute in his mind, happened down the hallway at that exact moment, along with Emma Dobbs.
Neither of the two girls were expecting him to stumble, looking rather dazed, out of a broom closet.
They stopped walking and quite unabashedly stared.
Emma took a long look at him, then at the copy of Quidditch Enthusiasts' Encyclopedia he still held, completely forgotten, in his hand, and raised an eyebrow. "Rather an unusual location to plan strategies for our House team, captain... but whatever works, I suppose."
"Somehow, I don't think that he was studying," Susannah remarked, eyeing her cousin curiously. "Cass, what were you doing in there?"
For a long time, Cassius did not speak. Finally, he shook his head, and uttered a wry, "Don't ask, Susie... just... don't ask. When I somehow manage to make sense of the last ten or so minutes of my life, I'll get back to you... I think."
And as Warrington, still looking quite remarkably discombobulated, walked off silently towards the Slytherin common room, Emma Dobbs glanced at Susannah Caligo, blue eyes questioning. "Are all our boys becoming daft? Is whatever Malfoy's got a contagious epidemic?!"
"I don't think my cousin would ever be quite as daft as Malfoy," Susannah said loyally. "Well. At least not in that way."
Emma glanced at the older girl rather dubiously. "I've heard whisperings from the Ravenclaws in my Defense class that his deliberate baiting of Su Li is... er... rather reckless and inconducive to his health."
"Oh, he knows that. He also once put sea urchins in my nanny's knicker drawer when he visited about ten years ago." Susannah shrugged slightly. "She was one of those types to make Filch look friendly and genial. Cassius didn't like her much. Perhaps it was because she threatened to use thumbscrews on him that motivated him to put sea urchins... but I digress. Speaking of Su Li, she probably... no... almost certainly had something to do with our esteemed Head Boy's current state of shock."
"Oh?" Emma noticed the very decided expression on Susannah's face. "Why do you say that?"
"Well," Susannah gave a slight wave of a slender, ring-adorned hand, "it's only fair and logical. Just as Cassius is the only one to deliberately brass off Su Li despite knowing better, it would only make sense that she would be the only one capable of flabbergasting him completely."
"Good point," Emma conceded thoughtfully. "Now the question is... how do we find out what exactly happened?"
"We stand back out of range and wait for the inevitable explosive showdown in the Great Hall."
***
The prophesied showdown didn't go quite as Susannah planned. In fact, technically speaking, it didn't go at all.
The next morning, when Cassius Warrington entered the Great Hall for breakfast, it was still mostly empty. Having slept very little and being in a confused mood, he settled, poured himself a cup of coffee, and attempted to think.
Su Li. Broom closet. Snogging. The taste of apples. Sparkling eyes. Slapping. Why? Maybe because… why?
All right, so it didn't make any more sense than it had last night, after all.
He turned as Alexander Monatague settled next to him and pulled the coffeepot towards himself. "Good morning," Montague said cheerfully.
"Being engaged doesn't agree with you," Warrington said sourly. "You're… peppy. Like a third-year Hufflepuff with a love letter. It's not the most pleasant sight of a morning. It must be bad for the digestion."
Montague laughed. "And you're in a rare mood today. Susannah said something about that… care to share?"
"Tell me, Montague," Warrington said. "Hypothetically speaking, if a girl who had never shown any interest in you nearly gave you a concussion to knock you down and snog you, followed by slapping you and walking away as though nothing had happened, what would you make of it?"
Montague let out a loud guffaw. "Oh no, Cassius, this is just too priceless. What girl managed to knock you down and lived to tell the tale?"
"I'm speaking hypothetically," Warrington said as calmly as he could. "I could be speaking of Malfoy and his little flame."
"But Malfoy's the desperate one, not the little Gryffindor," Montague said with a grin. "It stands to reason that he would be the one doing the pouncing."
"So the hypothetical girl is hypothetically desperate, in your opinion?"
"Some very real girl is quite something to get you in this state, in my opinion," Montague stated.
"Never mind," Warrington said crossly. "Just… never mind." What he thought of as the Ravenclaw Delegation had just entered the room. Cho Chang, of course, followed by Calista Green, and that little Japanese girl who he didn't know… Padma Patil, Mandy Brocklehurst, and... Su Li. "If you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of." He stood and headed to the Ravenclaw table.
By the time he got there, Su was settled in comfortably with a cup of green tea and a very blank expression. He didn't like the fact that she was surrounded by girls and he was quite alone. He didn't like the fact that he had to stand and look down at her. He didn't like… a lot of things.
"Good morning, Warrington."
Like that very, very bland expression and voice.
"What the hell, Li?" he said quietly.
"What the hell what, Warrington?" she asked.
"Why?" he said, trying to keep his thought rational. He would not put his hands around her neck and shake her until she answered him properly. He would not be undignified.
"I assume you're referring to my… theory?" she said with a little smile. That gleam he had seen yesterday in her eyes was back for a moment before she extinguished it. "You asked for my opinion on the matter. I thought it best to demonstrate. Was my hypothesis inaccurate?"
Hell with dignity. "That is not what I mean." He slammed his fist on the table.
Her lips curved upward in a feline little smile. "We have an audience. Would you really like to discuss this here?"
No. He would not let her... mad Ravenclaw... get the last word. Pasting a smirk upon his face, he crossed his arms and straightened, looking down into her face with a half smarmy, half haughty sort of expression. "Well. For your sake, little girl, and that reputation that you might for some reason still want to maintain, perhaps it's best that we do not discuss the activities of yesterday, endlessly fascinating thought they might be, here in front of your little... group. Whatever would they think of it?"
"They would likely wish for cameras to record your obvious lack of composure over a... little girl."
"Well," Warrington raised an eyebrow, "flattered though I certainly am by your little demonstration yesterday, most wouldn't dare to do such a thing with me in such a... bold manner. But I suppose you're the exception to that. But tell me, Li, is it something you do to all, or an honour reserved for me?"
"Wouldn't you like to know," she replied archly.
"Not really," he lied through his teeth. "I suppose that, all things considered, it would be ungentlemanly to protest such actions on your part, insane though they obviously are. Good day, Li."
Feeling as though he'd somewhat regained some "footing" in this increasingly bizarre almost-duel that he'd been engaged in with her, he reached over, blithely ignoring Terry Boot's suspicious looks, ruffled her hair, and walked back towards the Slytherin table.
Su Li's eyes kept their smug gleam... until the Slytherin boy had returned to his table and sat back down...
Next to Susannah Caligo, who was daintily sipping her pumpkin juice, engagement ring winking on her finger.
It was just his type of girl... tall, blonde, elegant, Slytherin... Susannah Caligo said something to him, which prompted him to roll his eyes slightly and tug on the end of her golden hair, arranged in a lustrous braid.
Su did her best not to pout. So she was short. And in Ravenclaw. And looked rather young. And… well, come to think of it, she was blonde.
Lot of good it did her.
She felt a light tugging on her sleeve, and belatedly noticed that Echo Hayama was addressing her curiously. "Yes?"
"Why do you glare at the blonde Slytherin girl?" The first-year's eyes were wide. "She isn't Benedick Jeunet. So, not bad person."
"Not bad," Su said through clenched teeth. "Simply irritating."
Up at the Gryffindor table, Ginny Weasley was drinking tea, eating an apple, and exuding such an aura of "don't-touch-me-or-you-will-die" that she was quite free to think of whatever she liked.
For instance, how to make a certain Ravenclaw and Slytherin wish they hadn't been born.
And she had just gotten a very, very interesting idea.
***
"Malfoy."
He whirled around to come face to face with her. Damn her! What was she doing down here!? "Weaslette, I warned you before to stay away," he said, his voice icy. "Do yourself a favor and go to Snape's class, which is the only sane thing I can think of for you to do in the dungeons."
"Listen, stop being an ass for all of five minutes, all right? Do you want Warrington and Li to keep hounding us?"
"They will, whether or not I want them to," Draco said with a snarl. "If that's all, will you just go away?"
"I think they're having a bit of an issue at the moment. If exploited, it could possibly have the effect of making them far too busy to bother us, therefore ensuring you don't have to see me and constantly work on keeping your damned hormones in check." She glared at him. "And failing, for the most part. Well?"
He looked up at her curiously, inwardly seething that she had hit the nail on the head. "You kissed back," he threw at her. "It isn't just my hormones that need checking."
To his great pleasure, she turned as red as a tomato. "The hell I did."
"The hell you did," he insisted. "What kind of… exploitation… do you have in mind?"
***
Calista Green was having the time of her life. First of all, watching Su go by turns jealous and by turns satisfied was wildly entertaining. Second, watching Warrington shift just as quickly between confused and angry was even better. And, of course, there was the added issue that there was markedly less hostility between Ginny and Malfoy all of a sudden. All the spare hostility seemed to be directed at Su and Warrington instead.
Too, too perfect.
"Su, did you really snog Cassius Warrington?" Calista's head shot up to behold Lisa Turpin. Who seemed to have this on excellent authority.
To her credit, Su kept mostly a calm expression.
"Didn't you say he was engaged to Susannah Caligo?" Lisa continued. "And then you… that wasn't very nice, Su. Did you really, really do it?"
"Who has been putting these thoughts into your head?" Su asked calmly. "Why would I snog Warrington? Isn't it the general consensus that I am out to kill him?"
"Oh please, that was last week," Lisa said. "Everyone's talking about this now!"
"Who's everyone, Lisa?" Su said, closing her book.
"Well, everyone," Lisa said, her eyes surprised. "I had it from… oh… Parvati Patil and Emma Dobbs and… some little Hufflepuff I didn't even know…"
Just then, Terry Boot slammed into the common room. "Cassius Warrington, Su? I thought you had taste. And isn't he engaged? Do you want to be known as a homewrecker at the age of fifteen?"
Sarah Fawcett came down the stairs from her dormitory, looking smug. "So, you get on my case for inappropriate behaviour, yet you do the exact same thing… and with a Slytherin. Saint Su… well, I suppose that illusion is over." She flipped her hair. "I'm going out to meet Johnny." With that, she was gone.
"Where… did all this come from?" Calista said, wide-eyed. True enough, she had been up in the dormitories all day due to a small head cold, but this…
"I suspect it came from Ginny Weasley," Su said softly. "And whoever she has working for her in Slytherin, since they wouldn't know anything the Gryffindors were talking about, and vice versa." She stood as well. "I think… I have to think for a while."
"I take that to mean you actually did it?"
Su smiled thinly. "Oh yes. Yes, I did. But ruining my carefully laid illusion… oh no. I won't be so nice this time."
***
Cassius Warrington was in the middle of an essay on Countercurses when he felt a slight tap on his shoulder. "What is it, and whose life must I wreak havoc on now?"
Emma's voice was bland and calm, but slightly tinged with amusement. "Er, nothing. Just thought that you might like to know that your little target for the past few days has been looking smug recently. And I don't think Weasley's started voluntarily snogging him yet."
"He'd disappoint me if he didn't try at all to make my life miserable after I'd helped him out, perish the thought," Warrington replied idly. "I've other things to worry about at the moment, though."
"Oh, such as the fact that he is telling everyone that you pulled Su Li into that broom closet to snog her senseless?"
Warrington looked up very slowly from his Defense textbook, and his eyes were wide. "Who said anything about Su Li? I've this essay that I have to finish before rounds tonight!"
"Oh, right..." Emma walked away slightly, and murmured to herself, "So that when you and the Ravenclaw do finish rounds, you can go shag somewhere and not worry about staying out all night. How utterly far-thinking you are..."
"Shagging her is, I believe, rather out of the question." The Head Boy looked at the younger girl, "Especially when there's so much other stuff to do."
"Not just simple shagging, then? I don't think I want to know."
"Probably not," Warrington agreed. Huh... so Malfoy was playing the rumour game, hmm? Really, the boy had to come up with a better strategy than that.
***
"Ahem."
"Yes, Cho?" Su looked up from the book on Dark creatures that she'd been idly flipping through.
"You've been acting somewhat peculiar," the older girl started, a look of gentle worry in her brown eyes. "Especially around Warrington, whom, from what it had seemed earlier in the year, you wanted to kill. Is there anything you wish to talk about?"
Su put her book on her bedside table. Fortunately, the dormitory was empty except for Lisa, and after a look from Cho, the other girl scurried out, looking like she wished she could stay to eavesdrop. "Nothing the whole school hasn't already mangled beyond any recognition as the truth." She was calm about it now, after spending the evening studying in her dormitory and threatening Lisa with a Silencing Charm if she was bothered. After all, the rumour mill was something she used quite frequently and with as great effect as it appeared Ginny was having. It didn't change the fact that for impeaching on what was certainly Su's personal territory the girl had to pay… but Su had to give her credit nonetheless. "Did you want the original version? The one I heard an hour ago about me carrying his illegitimate child is more interesting, if wildly inaccurate."
Swallowing a laugh, Cho sat down and tucked her legs under her on Su's bed. "I assume you did something that these rumours started, however?"
"What I did and the fact that the rumours started don't seem to have much in common," Su said with a shrug. "They're mostly the fault of Virginia Weasley, one rather bright, if vengeful Gryffindor. As for what I did… well, it was for my own purposes."
Cho grinned and looked at the younger girl. "Echo said to watch and make sure you didn't sneak out to kill Susannah Caligo in her sleep." Her grin widened. "Those perfect, elegant, blonde types are so very annoying, aren't they?"
Despite herself, Su grinned as well. "Yet you're friends with the blondest, most perfect one."
"Oh, you remember quite well that I hated Professor Delacour madly when she was simply a student."
Su was silent for a moment, then her eyes widened as though something in her mind had finally clicked. "Roger Davies," she said. "Of course!"
Cho shook her head. "I knew you'd figure it out eventually. You've been occupied with other things lately. But… well." She shook her head. "We're not here to talk about me or to talk about Roger. We're here to talk about you, and Susannah Caligo. Is there a particular reason she irritates you?"
Su looked at Cho as though the other had just said something extraordinarily stupid. "Cho, you've heard what everyone and their sister has to say about me being crazy about Cassius Warrington. The rumours may be wildly exaggerated, but they are based on truth."
"And this has to do with Susannah… how exactly?" Cho asked, equally confused. "I don't quite understand."
"For Merlin's sake, Cho, you're not stupid," Su said with a glare. "Warrington and Caligo are engaged."
There was silence for a few moments. Cho did her best to hold back the gales of laughter. This really was déjà vu. "No, Su," she said slowly. "They most certainly are not."
"Then why, pray tell, does he carry her around and call her Susie in corridors late at night when no one can see, and she wears an engagement ring?"
Cho couldn't manage to control the laughter after all. After giggling helplessly for a few moments, she spoke again. "Because Susannah Caligo recently got engaged to Alexander Montague. Seeing as Warrington is her first cousin, it's quite likely he'd have a great deal of affection and even a nickname for her… but not very likely he'd marry her, whatever they say about Slytherins. From what I understand, they grew up together."
Su very nearly fell off the bed.
"Well… hell."
