Title: Gazing

Author: flamebrain

Feedback: flamebrain00@yahoo.com

Spoilers: LHB, & the one where Catherine told Warrick Lindsey had been in a fight at school

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, not making a profit.

Notes: To Linda, for getting me hooked.

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I see it every time you don't look at me. We've never been close, despite the beer after Hank, but you've never ignored me. You didn't like me, you bitched at me. It was that simple.

Your silence condemns me.

I deserve it, I know. I've hurt so many people in my life. But God, Cat, I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt your precious little girl with her wide, trusting eyes.

When Greg told me about Lindsey's fight I felt it as a physical blow. It reminded me that I ruin things—ruin people. It's why I don't have anyone waiting for me when I go home.

It reminded me how much I have to make up to you. It reminded me how impossible it is that you'll ever feel for me the way I feel for you.

I'll keep my distance, do my penance. I just hope, if it's not too much to ask, that some day when I see you not looking at me, I'll catch your eye.