Disclaimer: I still don't own it....After 8 other disclaimers I'd think you'd get the point...but you never know, so I am still writing these....

"Haldir?" Legolas was shocked. He groaned and sat down on his bed.

"Yeah! Cool, isn't it! I took up being a detective as a part time job! I really like the trench coat and the whole 'mysterious guy' thing," Haldir replied proudly.

Legolas felt like he had just been hit by a sledge hammer. Thoughts of 'Why me?' ran through his head. What a day, he thought, First there's the anonymous emailer. Then there's the girl who hates me. And Haldir keeps showing up! Why me?

"...and then I said, 'But I really like the trench coat' and he said, 'Fine. You can have the job.' Isn't that cool?" Legolas hadn't even realized that Haldir had just kept talking through his train of thought, and Haldir hadn't even noticed that Legolas had ignored him while he was talking.

Legolas sat up. "Do you even know why you're here, Haldir?" he asked.

"Are you accusing me of having no idea of what I am doing?" Haldir replied, shocked. "Frankly, I'm shocked by your....er....frankness."

"Do you?" Legolas pressed on.

"Er...the boss mentioned something, but, heh heh, I guess I'm having a 'blonde moment'. Or is it a 'senior moment'? You know, I'm 14,682 already! I know I knew it a minute ago..." Haldir continued.

"So you knew that I have a stalker?" Legolas prompted.

"Really? A stalker? Is it a girl? Does she have a sister?" Haldir began enthusiastically.

"That's what you have to find out," Legolas sighed.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So that's why I'm here?"

"Yup."

"Oh," There was a moment of silence before Haldir spoke again. "That could be a problem, you know. My hearing isn't what it used to be. Neither is my sight."

"I know."

"Oh," Haldir paused. "So what do I do?"

"You'll be a good detective just like you signed up to do."

"Er...You know I'm only in it for the trench coat, right?"

"You told me."

"Ah. So...uh...when do I start?"

"Right now."

"Heh heh...I see. Did I tell you I have an orthodontist appointment right now?"

"You don't have braces."

"Optometrist?"

"You don't have glasses."

"Doctor?"

"Did I tell you I have a stalker?"

Haldir shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah...you mentioned it..."

"Good. You start now," Legolas said ushering Haldir out the door.

"Dentist?"

"Go!"