Author's Notes (chapter follows):
There's a lot of concern about the darkness of this fic, Kagome's reaction, and some OOC-ness. Let me attempt to answer a few of these questions and give some explanations before I continue.
1. Inuyasha is a rapist? Yes, in that he did force sex on Kagome. However, rape is usually about power, and sex is simply the means of asserting it. In my mind, Inuyasha the demon genuinely believed he was acting in their mutual interest by taking her. As such, he was likely as gentle as he could be, exerting only as much force as necessary to accomplish his instinctive goal. So yes, it was a horrible experience but not something full of mutilation and torture.
2. Kagome sure got over that fast, ne? Not really. She's not over it. She had a few moments after it happened to gather her wits, that's step one. Step two, she had some time to cry over it, before Kouga found her. She has already decided it wasn't entirely Inuyasha's fault, and so she's falling into the trap of many rape victims – blaming herself. So for now, she's just trying to put the pieces together. Eventually she will have to deal with her emotions more thoroughly and I will try to cover that as well.
3. Why all the lies? And won't Inuyasha realize it's his own kid? The lies are her misguided efforts to protect her attacker. She's not ready to have her friends exacting vengeance on him, since she blames herself. Kouga is taking advantage of this in hopes that he can endear himself to her. That won't work, as you will later see. This is definitely going to be an Inuyasha/Kagome piece. I just haven't finalized all the plot details.
As far as his recognizing the pup as his own: Inuyasha is portrayed in the anime as being more than a little brash and irrational at times, right? And unless I missed something, the extent of his sensitivity to smell is mostly fan-accepted, but not canon. I've decided that he can't smell the pup until it's been born, so all he can sense to go on is the fact that she is definitely no longer a virgin and she reeks of Kouga. Remember, she's bathed twice already.
Okay, on we go!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Four.
"Kouga is… my mate."
The entire group fell oddly silent at her admission. Sango watched the life drain from Inuyasha's expression, and felt more than a little sympathy for the hanyou. Miroku's eyes widened in shock. Kouga had neglected to mention that little detail in their conversation… The wolf demon was simply holding his breath, waiting for the inevitable outburst and preparing to defend Kagome from Inuyasha's wrath.
"What did you say?" The strained whisper in which the inuhanyou spoke unnerved Kagome more than any other reaction he could have supplied.
She repeated herself, her voice wavering. "Kouga and I are mated."
Ah, yes. Kouga almost grinned. Now it would begin.
As though the situation weren't full of enough unexpected twists, Inuyasha threw them one last curve. Without another word, he turned –
-- and walked away.
* * * * *
The foursome watched the retreating red figure in continued silence for a while, each absorbed in his own thoughts. At last, Kouga broke the silence.
"Well, Kagome my love, I guess you have your answer. Shall we return to the mountain?"
Kagome ignored him, turning to Sango. "I should go talk to him."
The taijiya shook her head firmly. "No, Kagome-chan, I think it would be best if you leave him be for a while. He needs to let this sink in." She studied the young woman for a moment before adding silently, "unless you are ready to give up this charade and tell him the truth?"
"Iie." She sighed, and turned back to Kouga. "I'm staying here unless he asks me to leave. Thank you, Kouga, for helping me. You really should return to your pack now."
"I don't trust him," Kouga growled. "I think you'd be safer with me."
Miroku glanced from the young miko to her youkai mate. "Ne, Kagome, why are you sending your husband away?"
Kami, she'd forgotten the monk was there. Turning to Miroku, she pasted a smile on her face. "I have a duty to fulfill here, Miroku-sama. Kouga and I agreed that I would finish our quest first, and then I will go with him."
"Yes, especially since the females in my tribe have no experience with human birthing."
"Birthing?" Now it was Miroku who blanched. Kagome shot an angry glare at the wolf demon. She'd hoped to let the monk in on this piece of news later, but it seemed Kouga was eager to put it all out there here and now.
She sighed. "Yes, Miroku-sama. I am pregnant."
"Kagome-sama, are you sure that was wise? If you indeed wish to continue hunting for jewel shards…"
"It wasn't intentional," she answered him, her voice demure. "Anyway, it's too late to think about it now. I'll do the best I can until I can't travel anymore and then… well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
Sango came up to the girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders comfortingly. "Kouga, we will take good care of Kagome-chan, you needn't worry." At her pointed stare, he finally took the hint and nodded.
"All right, koibito," he smiled a genuine grin at Kagome, taking her hand in his own to squeeze it lovingly. "I will return to check on you in a few days. If you change your mind, you know where to find me."
"Hai, I do. Sayonara, Kouga-kun."
With a last wistful glance, the wolf demon took off toward his mountain, praying to the gods that the wench would eventually gather her senses and come to him. After all, he was the prince of the wolf youkai. What more could she ask for than to become his cherished mate? He huffed at the annoyance. Hai, eventually she would return to him, it was just a matter of time.
* * * * *
"I want to explain to him before I go," Kagome was speaking softly to no one in particular as she walked toward the Bone Eater's Well. Miroku carried her backpack, already coddling her as though she were twenty-four weeks instead of twenty-four hours into the pregnancy.
"He'll be gone for at least the night," Sango assured her as they finally reached the well. "If by some miracle he returns sooner, we'll do our best to keep him here and calm until you return, okay?"
Sighing, Kagome nodded. "I do need to speak to my mother," she agreed. "All right, I'll return tomorrow afternoon. Please, try to explain to Shippou? I don't think I can tell the story again and I'm not even certain what to say."
Miroku agreed to have a man-to-man chat with the kitsune, though Sango swore to herself to intercept the exchange, lest he turn it into a lesson in lechery. With a last grateful smile to her friends, Kagome eased herself into the well, falling into the accustomed darkness of the time-warp.
Seconds later she was greeted by the comforting familiarity of large-city pollution as she landed in the well of her time. Hefting herself over the edge Kagome walked with shaking legs toward her house. For a moment, she entertained the idea of sneaking into her bedroom by Inuyasha's normal route, and avoiding the painful discussion altogether.
Ha, as though Mama won't notice my large belly in four months. She smirked in self-deprecating humor at the idea of hiding the pregnancy under baggy shirts. Still, this was the first time she'd been left alone since Kouga had found her, and the sudden lack of companionship had the unwelcome effect of allowing all her pent-up emotions to come flooding back all at once. The tears sprang into her eyes just as she reached the kitchen door.
The gods were ruthless, she decided. Mama was right there in the kitchen when she entered.
"Kagome, you're back. Ka—Kagome?"
The young woman dropped her backpack as she stared straight ahead. She couldn't hold it together anymore. She tried, but…
"OH MOM!"
Higurashi-san was nearly toppled over when her seventeen-year-old time-traveling daughter threw herself in her arms, falling to her knees in the middle of the kitchen floor.
"Doushita?" The woman slowly began to stroke Kagome's hair, her mind running through all the terrible things that could have happened to bring on this emotional display. When the young woman passed up answering to continue sobbing, she leaned down to pull her to her feet. "Come into the living room, honey. I'll get you a cup of tea and you can tell me all about it."
Through her tears, Kagome managed a nod and followed her mother to the couch, coming to sit down with a little help. It wasn't until she was safely situated and Mrs. Higurashi stood back that the elder woman finally noticed the various abrasions and bruises marring her daughter's normally perfect complexion. Continuing her silent scrutiny, she wondered just how many more existed under the knit top and blue jeans Kagome wore.
Higurashi-san shook this thought from her head, rushing to the kitchen to grab a cup of tea and a small washcloth before returning to sit next to her daughter. "Here you go, honey."
Kagome accepted the small cup, bringing it up to sip with shaking hands. "Ari-arigat-tou m-mama."
"You were violated."
The young woman's eyes widened beneath her bangs and she quickly turned to face her mother. Seeing the look of pained understanding, she nodded slowly.
"Who?"
"Inuyasha." She'd whispered it so softly she was amazed she'd heard herself. Nonetheless, Higurashi-san understood as well as if she'd screamed the name.
"Jii-san!"
"Mama!" Kagome's sad eyes took on a look of horror. "Don't call grandfather!"
"We're going to seal that well right now."
"No!" Kagome almost dropped the tea in her haste to fasten her hands onto her mother's arms. "Please, don't do that!"
"But honey—"
"He didn't mean to do it, Mama. I'm sure of it."
Sighing, Higurashi-san lifted a hand to brush the hair from her daughter's forehead, peering into her frantic eyes. "Honey, you don't have to make excuses for him. After the well is sealed you'll be perfectly safe. We'll get you into some therapy and you can put this entire mess behind you, okay?"
"No, mama, you don't understand. I—I'm pregnant."
That was unexpected, to say the least. Certainly, it was possible, but on her first time? The chances…
Kagome seemed to read her mother's mind, and forced herself back into a state of semi-calm so she could explain the events. Her mother would get the truth, she decided. She needed someone other than Kouga to know the real story. Perhaps she would tell Kaede too, but that was another matter…
"Mama, let me explain."
"Yes, dear, please do."
Taking another deep breath, she sighed. "Okay, you know how Inuyasha and demons like him have sensitive noses, right?" At her mother's nod, she went on, "well what I didn't realize until today was that they can pick up changes in the way a woman smells when she's um… fertile." She hazarded another look at her mother, but found nothing in the woman's expression. "Well if I'd been a little less naïve, I would have realized that and behaved more like a lady. Instead, I ignored his grumpy mood, and I… I chased after him like a crazy woman. I even jumped on top of him, for Kami's sake. I didn't mean anything sexual by it, I swear. Well, maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, but it wasn't meant as an invitation."
"Of course not, and he shouldn't have taken it as one either," Higurashi-san felt the anger well up in her again, wondering how the sweet – if not a little unpolished – young man she'd oft met could have hurt her baby.
"Normally he wouldn't," Kagome rushed to assure her.
"So what was different this time?"
"Well, I was wearing a bathing suit, making inappropriate comments, and what I didn't notice at the time was that Inuyasha wasn't carrying his katana."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Her daughter's endless string of self-accusations were making her angrier than anything the young man might have done to her.
Kagome closed her eyes, mentally berating herself for not being more vigilant. All right, Kagome. Too late to worry about that. "It keeps his demon blood sealed so he can control his impulses. When I chased after him, he'd left it on the lake shore and I guess the combination of my actions, the scent coming off of me, and the lack of his sword made him lose control."
"You were a very foolish young woman," Higurashi-san finally agreed. "However, that doesn't make it your fault."
"I know, Mama, I know. I'm not saying it was exactly. Just that, it wasn't really his fault either." Images of the assult came rushing back into her mind like a movie and she blinked hard against them, feeling her control slip away. "It wasn't quite as bad as it could have been," she feebly argued. "I think he honestly believed I wanted it, because he only pushed hard enough to get inside and he—he even kissed me."
"Did you want it?"
"No! Well, not like that," she finally admitted. "I guess part of me did when I was chasing him, but I wasn't going to act on it."
"Hormones are a dangerous thing to let loose around a demon, ne?"
Kagome nodded, eyes downcast. "I should have controlled myself better, Mama. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize to me, dear. Your troubles are only beginning." Higurashi-san sighed at her choice of words, chastising herself for making her violated daughter feel that much worse. "What I mean is, didn't you say you were pregnant?"
Again nodding, the miko let a hand drift to her lower abdomen for the first time since she'd heard the news herself. "Kouga told me he could sense the pup."
"Pup?"
Kagome sniffed a little laugh. "That's what canine demons call their children."
"Well Kagome. What would you like to do about this?"
"I—I'm not entirely sure."
"You know how I feel about abortion, but you're the one with the baby, so it's your decision to make. We could try adoption, but if the baby comes out with ears—"
"I won't abort Inuyasha's baby," Kagome stated firmly. "He didn't do this to hurt me, I'm sure of it. And Mama… he doesn't know."
"What do you mean?"
"When he's in full demon form, he's acting purely on instinct. After he wakes up, he doesn't remember anything that happened while he was out of control. I told him that we were attacked by a demon, he doesn't even know I was raped."
Higurashi-san's eyebrow raised to the roof. "So how do you plan to explain the big belly?"
"I told him that I mated—er—married Kouga-kun."
"Oi, Kagome…"
Watching her mother rest her forehead in her hands, Kagome blushed. "If he found out the truth, he'd hate himself, Mama. I don't want to put him through that."
"So what, you're going to go live with Kouga?"
"No. If Inuyasha will keep me around, I'll continue hunting shards with them."
"Pregnant?"
"Until I can't anymore, hai."
"This is completely insane, honey."
Kagome sighed. "I know."
* * * * * *
A/N : I promise the constant re-telling will end soon!
Vocab:
doushita = what's wrong?
