Woo! Third chapter! Don't y'all feel special. Hehe. I hope I am keeping them somewhat in character. Since this fanfic is pretty much AU, I mean really .. God human? Yeah, AU at it's best I think. I'm trying to keep them as close as possible to the characters in the show. I'm sure I'll slip up once in awhile. Anyways, I'm not very good with writing about parents and anyone that is not the main focus of the fic, so bear with me if they seem ooc or it starts to suck, because hopefully it won't. Hehehe. Again, if the pairing CBG/Joan squicks you, please read something else. Hopefully after this chapter I won't have to say that anymore. Hehe.

Dedications: To allll my luffly reviewers. You guys are great. Much love.

Disclaimer: Do I really need to keep putting this here? I mean, it's in the last two chapters, surely by now you'd know that I don't own anything. Meh.



Here With Me: Chapter Three






Joan yawned, already dressed for school, as she trotted down the stairs and into the kitchen. She seated herself at the table and helped herself to some cereal. She looked up and noticed the stares she was getting from Luke and her mother, who were also up.

"Wha?" She said, with a mouth full of cereal.

"You're up. Early." Luke said, taking a bite of his toast as he watched Joan warily.

"So?"

"It's just not like you to be up so early Joan," Her mother chimed in. "That's all."

Joan shrugged and ate the rest of her cereal, or well ... most of it anyways. She got up from the table, grabbed her bag and headed out the door, saying goodbye as she closed it behind her.

Rounding the corner onto the street that led to her school, she smiled when she noticed a familiar figure leaning against one of the building walls. She quickened her step and walked up to him.

"Morning!" She chirped

"Morning Joan." He said, smiling back her cheery attitude. "Shall we?"

Joan nodded and they both started down the street. Just as they stopped at the crosswalk Joan heard her name being called and turned around. She rolled her eyes when she saw Luke running to catch up with her. She glanced over at Him with an annoyed look. "Brothers" she mumbled.

He just chuckled as he waited patiently with Joan for her brother to catch up with them. When he did, Joan started off again, leaving them both behind her. He just shook his head and walked after the two siblings. He was in step with Joan when she looked over at her brother and slightly narrowed her eyes.

"So what's with the puppy deal nerdboy?"

"What? Puppy deal?" He asked, raising his brow at her.

"Yeah, duh, following me?"

"Oh, nothing. I just figured we'd walk to school together. Sorry." He said, looking down as they continued to walk.

Joan let out an annoyed sigh as she looked back where they were going. She glanced over at Him and noticed he was watching her expectantly. She gave him the "what!?" look and he in turn gave her his "well?" look. Finally she gave in, rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Luke.

"Look, I'm sorry. I've just got alot on my mind right now. I didn't mean to snap." She said, which was partly true. She did have alot to think about lately.

"It's okay Joan, I know you don't like hanging out with your nerdy brother."

"I don't want to fight okay?"

"We're not fighting Joan."

"Whatever. I know that tone."

Luke just sighed and decided to keep quiet. He didn't want to get into an argument either. He glanced over at Joan's friend and could have sworn he'd seen him before, but he couldn't place it. He quickly looked back when the young man looked over at him.

Joan noticed the exchange and started to get nervous. Her brother was smart, but was he smart enough to figure everything out and put two and two together? She sure hoped not. Besides, the quick wary glances were getting on her nerves. She stopped as they came to the bottom of the school steps.

She turned and stood before both of them. "Okay, it goes like this, Luke, this is my friend Sam. Sam, this is my nerdy brother Luke. Now you know each other. Goodbye" And with that she turned and stalked up the steps, leaving Him and Luke behind. After a few moments Luke jogged up the steps but stopped when Joan came back down them. She stopped in front of 'Sam'

"I'll see you after school" She said, then she turned and traipsed back up the steps, stopping for a moment to glare at Luke before going inside. Luke just shrugged and followed his sister into the building.

The rest of the day went by fairly quickly. She had asked her friends, and Iris as well, thought she felt she didn't have much of a choice, if they were going to have their usual study session. They all agreed to if they could find a place to study. Joan offered her house, knowing that Kevin and her father will be working late, and Helen had a faculty meeting to attend. Grace asked if Luke was going to be there. She shook her head, saying she heard him talking about going to Friedman's house or something of the sort. Grace nodded and said she was in. So there it was, set in stone so to speak, they would be meeting tomorrow at Joan's house for their usual study session.

Joan was at her locker towards the end of her class before lunch when she curiously looked over at the sound of someone giggling. She stopped what she was doing and stared in disbelief.

She stood there, frozen, watching the last thing she ever wanted to see. Everything seemed as if it was moving in slow motion. The voices, the laughter, everything. She watched even though she knew it would kill her to do so, but she couldn't help it. Adam and Iris were in front of her locker, talking, laughing, giggling. And then she leaned in and kissed him. Joan swore she heard her own heart break.

She turned around, not wanting to watch anymore. She felt trapped, it was like everything was closing in on her. She needed to get out of there.

Joan bolted in the opposite direction, weaving in and out of the students in the halls. She ran past the office, past her mother who was on her way out. She called out to Joan, but it didn't reach her. Joan was far too distraught to listen. She brushed passed Grace and her brother, Luke, as she ran out the front doors and down the steps of Arcadia High.

She knew she'd get in trouble, but for the first time she honestly didn't care. She just needed to get away from that awful sight. She didn't have an eidetic memory like Adam did, but that image just wouldn't go away. And every time she closed her eyes, it was there, haunting her.

Joan ran down the sidewalk paying no attention to the world around her. The only thing she knew was she needed to get as far away from the school as humanly possible. She wanted to be alone. Which she'd doubt wouldn't be a problem now. She was alone, and she just knew she always would be.

Suddenly Joan was halted as she'd knocked into someone on the streets. She tried to pull away but their grip was firm. She looked up through her tear-stained eyes to see who had caught her. And it was him who had grabbed her, albeit gently, and stopped her from running. He smiled sadly at her, pulled her into an embrace as she finally broke down and cried.

The sobs wracked her small form, making her feel weak and vulnerable. She clung to him and he just held her in return. She didn't feel quite as alone as she did moments before. She leaned into the comforting embrace, letting all the pent up frustration and hurt out, finally, after so many months of keeping it all locked inside.

He watched her as she cried. Her shoulders shook and her hands grasped his coat tightly. He knew what he was getting into when he chose to do this. He knew he would be feeling the same things they felt. He knew sadness and hurt when he'd seen it, he understood it all but never felt it. But now ... he wasn't sure he could handle this. Joan was hurt and upset, something had happened, and since he closed himself off from her, he didn't know what. And it hurt him to see her this way, but yet left him feeling quite helpless knowing he couldn't fix it. So instead he held her, to let her know he was there for her even when she felt she was alone. Because she was never alone, not really. But sometimes they forget that.

Silently she pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes red and filled with sadness, hurt and regret. He reached down and brushed the hair away from her face and the tears from her eyes. She gave him a small smile, slightly surprised by his tenderness and the concern showing in his eyes. She sighed softly and leaned against him again and smiled to herself as she felt him wrap his arms around her, keeping her safe from the evil world that lay outside his comforting embrace. She didn't want to deal with that anymore, she didn't want to go back. More importantly, she was surprised to find that she didn't really want to leave this moment at all.

Joan glanced up at him and watched him for a moment. His head was laid against hers and his eyes were closed. He looked so peaceful. She closed her own and concentrated on trying to calm down. Her eyes flew open when she realized she could hear his heart beating next to hers. 'So he is real' she thought to herself. For awhile she thought he was just ... there. She's always known that He was around... He was God afterall. However, at this very moment, with his arms safely wrapped around hers as she heard his heart beating... there was more to it. He wasn't just a form that God created... He was more than that. Joan didn't know how to explain it, but she could feel it.

Quietly, for the first time since she ran into him she spoke. "Did you .. know about them?" She glanced up again, watching for his response.

"Yes." He said, just as quietly.

She watched him as he spoke, his lips had barely moved and he had stayed firmly in place, arms still around her and his eyes closed.

"Okay." Was all she could really say. She didn't blame him in the slightest. It wasn't anyone's fault. If anything, it was her own for not coupling with Adam when she had the chance. But that was over now, it was in the past.

"I'm sorry Joan." He whispered to her, his hand coming up, gently brushing her hair. It was a very soothing gesture.

"So am I." She said, 'So am I'

After a long while, what seemed like forever, Joan pulled herself away from him. She looked up and smiled. "I .. I think I want to go home." She said quietly.

He nodded, one arm still around her, they turned and walked back towards her home. The walk there was left in comfortable silence. She found that she was now leaning against him as they walked in step with each other, perfectly, with his arm still placed gently around her.

His arm dropped, unconsciously brushing the small of her back, as they came upon her house. She glanced over at him when he did this, but since he didn't say anything, she figured he probably hadn't realized he even did it. A small smile crept up to her lips.

She turned around as she stepped up onto her porch, her hands folded in front of her. "Thank you .. for .. everything." She said, smiling a little.

"Of course, Joan."

She looked at him for a minute and frowned. He looked sad, and it made her wonder what had caused him to feel this way. Then it dawned on her. 'He .. feels .. sad?' She felt bad herself though, knowing it was probably her own distraught state of being that made him feel this way.

He looked over at her and raised his brown when he found her watching him. "Are you okay Joan?"

"Yes, Are you?"

He looked surprised, taken aback by her question. No, he wasn't okay. He didn't want to see her so sad, and then in the end pretend she wasn't, when he knew she was. And he didn't have to be omniscient to know she was hiding it. But he knew, that sometimes people needed to do that to get through the day and the events that take place in their lives.

"I will be." He said, giving her a reassuring smile.

She smiled back, seeing in his eyes the sincerity in his words. She nodded. "Good."

"Joan, there is one thing though, that I want you to do" He started, "I want you to talk to your mother about today. She won't be mad if you tell her the truth. She'll understand."

Joan sighed, not in annoyance though, but a tired and exhausted sigh. "I don't really want-"

"Joan," He said, looking straight at her, his eyes holding hers "Please .. for once, just trust me."

She swallowed hard, his voice sounded as if he was on the verge of pleading for her to do so. She merely nodded, not thinking she had the strength to speak after hearing the tone in his voice.

He gave her a small smile and nodded. "Okay then. I'll see you tomorrow Joan." He stepped up to meet her height, leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "If you need me .. I'll be here" He said quietly, his breath warm against her face.

She nodded again and when she opened her eyes he was gone. She smiled faintly as she unlocked her door and walked in, closing it behind her and promptly going to her room to wait for her mother to come home.

Joan looked up from the magazine she was flipping through when she heard the front door open and close. She was tempted to go down to see who had come home, but she decided not to. She knew it was her mother when she heard keys hit the table.

"Joan?" Helen called out, hoping her daughter had come home.

"I'm in my room."

Joan tossed the magazine on the floor and moved back, leaning against the headboard when her mother came in. Helen opened her mouth, ready to reprimand her daughter, but stopped when she seen Joan had been crying. She stepped in Joan's room and quietly closed the door, then walked over and sat down the edge of her bed. She smiled softly at Joan and reached out, beckoning her daughter over.

Joan sniffled and scooted over to her mother. She laid down, curled, with her head on her mother's lap. Helen ran her hand over her hair, petting her. It was a calming effect. It was awhile before either of them spoke.

"Joan, what happened?" She asked quietly.

"I .." She thought back to what He had said, to talk to her mother about everything. She had never really talked with her mother before. She'd talked 'at' her, but never 'with' her. She hoped that maybe some good would come out of this and she wouldn't be as embarrassed as half of the other times she tried this.

"I .. I think I lost him mom." She said, her voice was a little shaky as she tried not to cry.

"Lost .. Adam?" She asked, figuring that's who she had meant, but it was always good to get a confirmation.

"Yeah." She sniffled a bit "I saw .. I saw him and Iris kiss in the hallway." She said, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Oh Joan ... I'm so sorry." Helen said, stroking her daughters hair. She felt so bad, wishing there was something she could do for her. But she knew there wasn't. She didn't like the idea of Iris and Adam as a couple all that much, but she never meddled with their relationship, it wasn't her place. She liked Adam, almost as if he were her own.

"I always thought ... that I would have a chance, you know? That maybe he'd ... wait for me. I mean, I knew he wouldn't always be waiting." She said.

"Sometimes Joan, we just have to let things play out. They might not work out the way we want them to now, but they will in the end." She said reassuringly. "You just have to believe that."

Joan turned over, looking up at her mother, "Kind of like ... having faith?"

Helen smiled and nodded, "Yeah, kinda like that."

Joan turned her head, looking away as she spoke "Do you ever ... question it? Faith, I mean."

Helen was surprised by the question, more so that it came from Joan. "Sometimes I do. I did after Kevin's accident. I couldn't understand why something so awful could happen to such a good person. I thought maybe I was being punished somehow. I almost lost it though, my faith. But when they said Kevin would make it, and that was alive ... I decided not to give up just yet."

Helen let out a small chuckle as she wiped the tears out of her own eyes. Joan thought for a moment about what her mother had said, and about all the things He had told her. She looked back at her mother and studied her for a moment.

"I don't think he punishes us, but we punish ourselves instead. And sometimes bad things happen to good people." She paused a moment, looking back away, "Things happen for a reason, though we don't always get it. Or something like that."

Helen laughed, "Yeah, I guess your right."

"So .. am I in trouble?"

"Well, I'll have to talk to Price in the morning when I go to work, but until then, you're grounded. For the weekend at least." She said with a small smile.

Joan smirked, "Good enough for me." Then she got up and rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and sat there for a moment, pushing her long hair out of her face and looking over at her mother. She smiled and hugged her.

"Thanks mom, for listening."

"Thanks for letting me, Joan"

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Awwww. I hope that was okay. Like I said, I'm not used to writing the parent/child conversations, but I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad for Joan to actually mature in this. So .. yeah. Hope you liked!