Disclaimer: LotR = Not mine.

Authors note: Sorry.....I've been really busy....wanna see the reasons, look at my bio. I'll work on getting the chap.s longer later, but right now inspiration is low. Alright! R&R!





Half and hour and several miles later, Haldir could still hear them fighting. Of course, by then their insults had been diminished to 'Blanket face!' and 'Hobbit foot!'.

Haldir smiled to himself. The new and improved hearing was proving to be very useful... and entertaining. He chuckled to himself as Legolas called Ankara 'Dragon Cappuccino' and she called him a fairy.

"Might as well start looking for clues...," Haldir muttered to himself, taking out a magnifying glass that he really didn't need any more.

With the magnifying glass in hand, Haldir began to look for clues.

Since clues were not in abundance, Haldir began to make up his own theme song. "Do dah! Doo doo do dah! Dee dee doo do dah! Dah dah dee doo doo!"

Many small furry woodland creatures fled from around him as he continued to make up his theme song.

Then, he heard something that shocked him. Silence. No more random insults. Haldir shrugged and continued with his theme song.

After many minutes of a rapidly overdone theme song, Haldir heard something else. Typing. (And more silence from Ankara and Legolas.) The typing seemed to be coming from a bush. (i.e.-small shrubbery...not George Dubya.)

"Bushes don't have fingers...or access to good computers...hmmm....This sounds like a job for....Detective Haldir!" Haldir announced, approaching the bush.

He could hear the typing grow louder and louder as he approached the bush. He slowly pushed back some branches, and poked his head into the bush. Inside he saw...nothing. Nothing but more branches.

Then out of the corner of he eye he saw, pushed toward the bottom of the bush, a computer. He picked it up, and looked at what was on the screen. He started to read a half done email which read...

"Hello Lego-lass. Hope you're having fun having sticks thrown at your head! Why did I not expect this would happen? Your manly day is over, but I'll keep watching you...forever. And what are you doing up this late? What is it? Like, 3 in the morning? Stupid elves...think they can stay up this late just because they're immortal. I..."

At that point Haldir was cut off from reading because the bush began shouting at him. "What are you doing?" It shouted. "Put that down! It's mine! Don't read it! I leave this thing alone for two minutes...why are you still here? Go!"

Haldir was speechless. At the 'Go!' he began to walk away slowly. Then a little faster. Then he turned and sprinted back to where Ankara and Legolas had been, screaming about possessed bushes the whole way.

When he returned to where they'd been, he saw no one. "Ankara? Legolas?" he called. No answer. "Legolas? Ankara?" he tried again. Nothing.

He began to walk around, kicking plies of leaves and calling their homes. After kicking 7 piles, Haldir decided to kick an eighth. He found one and kicked it hard, hitting something hard and sending only a few leaves flying. He jumped around for a minute, holding his stubbed toe before getting ready to throw whatever rock he had kicked far far away. He looked down and saw Legolas, bound and gagged.