Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Yay! Got my inspiration back!! Next chapter......THE REVEALING OF THE STALKER!!! Then a whole new plot line emerges...



"Legolas?" Haldir asked intelligently.

Legolas muttered something muffled because of the gag in his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Legolas, but even with my," Haldir struck a pose, "new and improved hearing and sight, I can neither hear you or read your lips." Haldir smiled a pearly white smile that made the sun look dim.

Legolas shut his eyes and writhed in pain on the ground from the light.

"You know, you look just like a gift wrapped puppy all tied up like that!" Haldir smiled.

Legolas looked at him, pained, in confusion. He shouted a muffled something again.

"Nope still can't understand you," Haldir commented. Then he added to himself, "What would a real detective, like Sherlock Holmes, do if he found someone bound and gagged? Hmm...," He paused to think. "Maybe...I ...should...," Legolas looked at him pleadingly. "Should I ....untie you?"

Legolas' eyes brightened. This was faster than he expected. 5 minutes for Haldir to untie him. He had expected 3 days.

Haldir bent down to untie and de-gag Legolas. After a few seconds, Legolas was able to stand and speak again.

"Thanks Haldir...," Legolas began.

"No need for thanks, sir. Just doing my job," Haldir interrupted in a heavy accent. "Where's Ankara?" He added, looking around.

"Er...I don't know...I blacked out. All I remember is calling her some really stupid names, then seeing a floating cloth and floating rope coming toward me. Then...nothing...except you kicking me," Legolas explained.

"Where was she when you guys were throwing stuff at each other?"

"Behind that log," Legolas pointed to a log 20 feet away.

Haldir walked over to the log. He looked over to the other side and saw another gift-wrapped elf. He took a second to untie her, and she explained what happened to her. It was the same as what happened to Legolas, without the kicking.

"Hmm...and I found a half written hate letter in a typing and talking bush," Haldir added.

"What!?" Ankara and Legolas shouted together, soon after sending death glares to one another.

"Yup. The bush was typing and then when I read the email it yelled at me," Haldir explained as if it were as common as butter on bread.

"Where is this...typing...bush...," Legolas asked.

"Er...boys! Excuse me for interrupting your bush debate, but I still need to go home!" Ankara interrupted.

"Your house is three miles from here, North West," Haldir began. "Your mother just made warg salad for dinner and someone, a sister maybe, just gave your father a letter. You'll be home in half an hour and...oh...26 seconds," he continued.

Legolas and Ankara could only stare blankly. "Uh...thanks...Haldir...," Ankara ended in shock.

"No problem, ma'am. It was my pleasure," Haldir smiled tipping his hat.

And with that, Ankara turned to leave, once again.

"Glad she's gone," Legolas said once she was out of sight. "She is so...annoying! I bet her only purpose in like is to annoy me and everyone within 12 and a half feet!"

"Every elf need a purpose in life. Something to keep them going from day to day. A motivating factor. Without a purpose, immortality is meaningless," Haldir said, sounding very wise for once.

"Wow. That was deep."

"Yeah. It was on a bumper sticker I read once."

"Oh."

"On to find the talking bush?"

"Oh yeah. I'm so ready, man."

And with that the two set out into the dark forest.