Disclaimer: Don't own LotR, HHGTTG *Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for the silly people who haven't read it....silly people...* Big Mouth Billy Bass or Robin Hood: Men in Tights.



Authors Note: I really do have a plot line coming! It won't be in a neat 15 chapter...I don't think... like I had originally planned...but It's coming! Also, thank you to all of the people who have reviewed! Almost 150! Thank you!



Legolas beamed as he walked down the hall. He had beaten the boppit....er...hobbit at its own game. It took great will power, but it had been done. If he could master the fight of words the way he had mastered fighting with bows...and arrows (not hair clips)...he would never have another care in the world.

He closed his eyes and could almost hear a song. A song sung by a fish, moreover a mounted fish, named Billy. In his mind the fish sang clear and loud, "Here's a little song I wrote...might wanna sing it note by note. Don't worry...be happy....don't worry....be happy...," while flopping around on its plaque.

Legolas shook the vision from his head, and with a chuckle continued back to his room. He turned on his favorite Robin Hood: Men in Tights CD and danced around the room a little bit. At his favorite part in one of the raps, though, his phone started to ring.

Legolas muttered to himself and turned the music down. He answered the phone saying, "Prince of Mirkwood. How may you be of service?"

"Legolas! It's Ankara!" The voice on the other end said.

"Oh. Hey," Legolas replied flopping down on his bed.

"Look. Sorry for leaving early and all, but- "

"It's okay. I've got a question."

"Yeah?"

"Frodo said something disturbing to me as I left today."

"Okay..."

Legolas paused to think back to what he had said. 'Well...well...you wouldn't stand a whelk's chance in a supernova!' echoed through his mind. "He told me I wouldn't stand a....a whelk's chance in a supernova. Do you have any idea what that could mean?"

There was a long pause at the other end of the phone. After a minute Ankara said, "Well...I did some research. In some sort of a guide book they make a reference to a whelk. It appears to be a mythical creature. And a supernova is a giant explosion."

"Okay..."

"I'm assuming that this 'giant explosion' that is large enough to destroy stars would kill the mythical creature mentioned."

"So...so I'm going to die in an explosion!?"

"That's what my take on it is...even worse than being trapped in the bathroom with bigfoot, huh?"

Legolas took a deep breath. "Uh...yeah...," His mind raced. "You know, I've been seeing flashing lights every where thinking that they were part of a new security system. I bet they are planted bombs just waiting to blow me up!"

"Oh my gosh!"

"Do you have any guest rooms at your house?" Legolas asked frantically.

"Yeah...one..."

"Can I stay there just for a couple of days please?"

"Well..."

"Please! I don't want to die! And I'm supposed to be immortal! But by calling whelk, I bet I'm not anymore!" Legolas began to randomly babble, as many do when faced with danger.

"Fine. You can use the guest room."

"Great! Thank you! I'll be over in a little bit! Bye!"

"Bye..."

Legolas quickly hung up the phone, packed up his bag, and ran out of his room, carefully looking for red lights.

On his way out the front gate he saw his father and called, "Dad! I'm going to Ankara's for a couple of days! Watch out for blinking red lights and tell me if the place blows up, okay?"

King Thranduil blinked. "Sure...son..., have fun..."

"Thanks, Dad!" Legolas called and ran off, deep into the woods in search of the Lira household.