Chapter Sixteen.

"How long have you known?" Inuyasha came to a stop in the center of Kaede's hut, his blazing eyes staring down each of the three adults sitting stunned before him.

Sango spoke first, squirming in place under his intense look. "What part?"

"Oh gods." The hanyou smacked himself on the forehead, the weight of the last hour settling about him like heavy armor. He suddenly felt a hundred years older. "All of it. Any of it. Was I the only idiot who didn't know? Were you all laughing at me behind my back while I stupidly looked into my own son's eyes and– and—" he couldn't finish the thought.

"No, Inuyasha, we weren't laughing at you. Quite the opposite, in fact." Miroku stood up to grasp his comrade's shoulder in a supportive show of empathy. "I only found out after she left. Apparently only the women here were privileged with the true story."

Sango narrowed her eyes at the monk. "That's not entirely true. I only found out he was yours when I first saw the ears. The part about Kouga I knew from the beginning."

"And what about you, Kaede-baba? Were you clueless like the monk and I, or were you in on this too?"

"I knew it all at the beginning, Inuyasha," she answered him firmly, her own gaze holding fast, refusing to be guilted into apology. It was time the hanyou stopped blaming and fuming and started taking responsibility for the things that happened in his life. If she had anything to say about it, he would start now.

"Inuyasha, where is Kagome?" Sango inquired gently from her place at the fire.

"I sent her back home," he grumbled.

"What? Why?"

Turning his head to the side, he grumbled, "I needed to think."

"Think about what? Isn't this what you wanted? She came back!" Miroku let go of the hanyou, standing back to observe his next actions.

His temper rising again, Inuyasha turned on Miroku. "I know that, Bouzou! I'll go back to get her later, I just needed some time to think! Why is it that I'm not allowed a single damn minute to myself around here without having to run away?"

Blinking, Miroku backed away further. "G-gomen, Inuyasha. I just assumed—"

"You assumed that I was being an immature baka, right? Well even I know when it's time to grow up, so just back off." He strode toward the door in angry steps. "Anyway, I got what I came for. Good night."

* * * * *

He was back in the cave again, though Inuyasha had no idea how he'd managed to find it again after so long. His keen eyes searched the darkness for the scraps of her bathing suit he was sure remained. Finding them at last, he fell to his knees and gathered them up in his hands, sniffing at the air around him.

The smell was very faint, but he could detect the scent of his own body mixed in with hers. The final proof he needed that the entire story was true. He still didn't understand why Kouga had become involved. Had the wolf honestly meant to help, or was he trying to maneuver himself between Inuyasha and Kagome? Either way, he felt a little bad for the demon, and decided to acknowledge his help the next time their paths crossed.

Closing his eyes, he forced himself to resurrect the images from his nightmares, for the first time consciously absorbing the entire morbid ordeal from start to finish. If Kagome had to live through it, the least he could do was remember it. It was the only way he could understand completely what he'd done to her, and perhaps offer her some comfort, even if belated.

The visions kept replaying, each time angering him further. Yes, anger was a familiar emotion, protecting him from more vulnerable feelings: sadness, guilt, and betrayal. Opening his eyes again, Inuyasha felt hot tears beginning to form in his eyes.

Men don't cry, he censured himself. Only weaklings cry.

His body ignored the rebuke and the brave hanyou Inuyasha found himself bawling into his fists, aching to hug the young woman from his nightmare and take it all away. In the back of his mind he began to recall all the instances in the early months when she'd pulled away from him, or flinched at his touch. He'd assumed she did it out of respect for her mate, but now he knew that she'd been afraid of him.

Was she still afraid?

After a while the searing stabs in his heart dulled into a steady ache again, and he managed to stand up once again. He had a son, and a beautiful one at that. He'd always known Kagome's children would have perfect faces, but Inuharu would rival even Sesshoumaru's attractiveness when he grew up. Thoughts of the boy led Inuyasha back out of the cave and into the night sky. He wanted to see the child again, and apologize to him, too, for being such a dense baka.

A part of him still wanted to slash at the trees in his forest and beat up on some hapless but evil-doing youkai, but for the first time in his life Inuyasha decided there were more important things to do than seek revenge, even if it was against himself. He had a family that needed him, and at the age of twenty – or was it seventy now? – the hanyou realized it was finally time to grow up.

* * * * *

That the well allowed him to pass once again was the second greatest piece of news Inuyasha got that day. He emerged from the well house and scanned the courtyard. Everything seemed much as he remembered it, aside from a few small children's toys scattered about the pavement.

He approached the house warily, still not entirely sure what he wanted to say or even how to enter. What were Kagome's mother's feelings about him? If she despised him, he would likely be thrown out of the house and kept away with demon wards. Granted, the old man had no magical abilities whatsoever, but if Kagome had already created the wards in his absence, even a fool could attach them to the walls.

Back in the house, the silence of sleep was suddenly interrupted by the familiar wailing of a young quarter-demon. Higurashi-san groaned, and rolled out of bed. She'd begged Kagome to take the night off, seeing her pained expression on the return from the well and knowing the young woman hadn't slept more than a few hours the night before. Now she was beginning to regret her kindness. This was sure to be a long night.

Wrapping her robe about herself, the young grandmother approached the door to her grandson's nursery just as the crying ceased.

Thank Kami for small blessings, she sighed. Nonetheless, checking in on the little one would be a good idea. She pushed aside the door and stopped in her tracks.

Inuyasha looked up at the appearance of Kagome's mother, a feeble smile coming to his face in what he hoped was an apologetic look. "We mutts like having our ears rubbed, as long as it's done properly. Quickest way to get us to sleep," he whispered, lightly stroking the outer edges with an index finger while massaging the inner base with his thumb. Inuharu rested against his chest, cradled in the hanyou's other arm while he rocked back and forth on his feet.

Higurashi-san was at a loss for words, since she had no idea what had happened between the hanyou and her daughter. She'd assumed he'd rejected her entirely, and was none to happy about the prospect. Still, here he was, comforting his son and behaving remarkably much like a proper young father should.

Sensing her conflicted emotions, Inuyasha replaced the child in his crib and walked a few steps closer to her. "Kagome is asleep, right? That girl never gets enough rest."

"That girl isn't such a girl anymore," Higurashi-san reminded him. "She's had to mature very quickly to deal with this situation."

Inuyasha's gaze fell to the floor in shame. "I know. I should have been there for her, but I… I didn't know. Believe me, if I had any idea –"

"You probably would have run off to punish yourself instead of calmly dealing with the circumstances."

"Hai, you're probably right," he somberly agreed.

"Are you ready to face your responsibilities now?"

Eyes rising once again to meet her own, he nodded firmly. "It's all I want in life. In fact, all I ever wanted."

"All you ever wanted was Kagome?"

"No. A family," he explained.

They remained quiet a few second longer, each coming to terms with their new relationship.

"She's in her room, trying to sleep," Higurashi-san finally revealed. "But if I know my daughter, she's probably still wide awake." Before he could walk out the door, she took hold of his arm. "But let me warn you, Inuyasha. If you hurt my daughter again, I will come after you. It's a little-known secret but Kagome isn't the only one with miko powers in this family."

"You…" he stared at her in surprise.

"Hai. But that is a secret that doesn't leave these walls, agreed?"

He quickly nodded, gulping at the tough edge to her declaration. She released his arm and turned back towards her bedroom. "Oyasumi nasai, Inuyasha."

* * * * *

Inuyasha wasn't the type of man to drop in on a person to berate them. If he was angry he'd brood in solitude, then either maim his enemy or ignore them entirely. Since she knew he'd never actually attack her, this meant only one thing. He'd forgiven her.

"Do you have any idea how many times I fantasized about you appearing in my window at night, just like you are now?"

Not wanting to give up his edge in the upcoming conversation, he stifled 'amused chuckle' and settled for 'curious stare'. "This isn't the first time I've come in this way."

Shaking her head, Kagome stood up from her bed, her blanket falling to the ground. "No, I mean, exactly like this. The moon at your back, the breeze shifting your hair around your eyes. Looking entirely like some angel of hell, or demon of heaven. I'm not sure which, but… dangerously beautiful."

He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up at her words. She blushed, clasping her hands in front of her and averting her gaze to the floor. "I know; just the silly fantasies of a sexually frustrated teenager. I guess I never really did finish growing up."

Hopping down from the window sill, Inuyasha scratched his head and came to stand before her. "Sexually frustrated, huh?"

"We all have our needs, Inuyasha."

"You were a virgin before it happened."

"Yeah," she whispered.

"And after? Was there – is there anyone else?"

She looked up at him in surprise, blinking her eyes at the serious but gentle way he was looking at her. "I'm a single mother, Inuyasha. I don't exactly have time for things like that. Besides, I don't really want anyone else."

"Good," he said simply and then took up staring at her again.

Feeling unnerved by the lack of communication, Kagome immediately started babbling every apology she thought she owed him. "Inuyasha, I don't blame you one bit for being mad at me. I had no right to keep that kind of secret from you. Inuharu is as much your son as mine, regardless of how he was conceived."

Letting out the breath he'd been holding, Inuyasha nodded then took her by the hand and sat down on the edge of the bed, bringing her down to sit beside him. He remained quiet for a moment, listening to the soft creaking of wood settling in the house's frame.

"So let's see," he finally began. "I ran off – again – like a damned fool. I abandoned you and our son instead of talking things out rationally. I impregnated you and wasn't there for the birth. I questioned your moral character. And then, of course, the obvious: I raped you." Pausing at the painful admission, he added, "that about cover it?"

"I think so," she responded quietly.

"Somehow saying I'm sorry doesn't seem like enough."

Seeing the remorse in his eyes, Kagome squeezed his hand gently. "It's been almost two years, Inuyasha. You weren't yourself. Drop it. I already have." She watched the way his fingers wrapped around her own, thinking not for the first time how it seemed they were made to fit together. "But if you insist on beating yourself up over it, you could try making it up to me, instead."

"Are you afraid of me?"

She shook her head. "Not one bit."

"Then maybe you won't mind if I kiss you?"

Any response she might have offered was muffled by his lips descending onto her own, the contact gentle and loving. He wasn't going to push her one bit, but he also knew she was too timid to start anything on her own. This was his chance to show her his body could bring her something other than pain, and he wasn't going to rush through it.

"Well?" he asked shyly when the kiss ended.

"That was nice," she answered him, a small blush tinting her cheeks. "What else you got?"

He grinned broadly, and brought a hand to rest in the back of her head, pulling her back in for another, deeper kiss. This one stoked the small fire that always existed in his belly whenever she was around. Afraid of losing control again, he used his free hand to rest on Tetsusaiga, assuring himself that the katana was safely at his side.

Kagome noticed his movements, and glanced down at his actions. "I'm not worried about this; I don't think you have to be either."

"I don't want to hurt you again, Kagome."

"How about we make a deal? If I don't pounce, you don't? Besides," she added, a hint of fiery lust appearing in her eyes, "if I get poked by something tonight, it better not be a sword."

Unable to contain his laughter at her words, Inuyasha let out a loud chuckle, quickly calming to remove Tetsusaiga from his waist and bringing it to rest against the bedside table. "Fair enough," he decided. "Now, where were we?"

"Right about here," Kagome answered, bringing his head down to kiss him again, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. "I think Inuharu might like a brother, ne?"