Note: The song in this chapter is from 'Vacancy' by Social Burn
2nd Note: Thanks to you reviewers!!! *makes Logan-muse hug everyone* Hehe. x_-

Institutionalized: Chapter 6-The Blinding Room

*****

Time sometimes gets away from me
I lost myself trying to make you see
That every time you cry I lose my mind
I can't see who you need me to be
When your lost as well in your vacancy
Locked up and waiting for the sun

Cause it's raining where you are
I'm trying but it's too hard
Yeah it's raining where you are
But you can't run away from everything
So just fall back, fall back


*****

Waking up on a cold floor wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, especially when you were dragged into a brightly lit room afterwards. Logan hadn't struggled one bit as a couple of orderlies brought him in the empty room, strapped him in a straightjacket and then made him lay on a table in the middle of the room. He paid no attention whatsoever as they strapped him to the table, then put a neck brace on him so that he was forced to stare at the light on the ceiling. It hurt his eyes, being so different from the dimly lit cell he was used to, but Logan didn't care.

Despite his failed attempt at an escape, he found himself determined now more than ever, to keep his head clear so he'd get out of this awful place. Logan was going to try and behave while being taken to get his meds, because he knew that if he put up a struggle, they'd give him his meds by needle. If he was lucky enough, he could fool them so that they gave him pills and he'd just pretend to take them. That's what he was going to do, he'd trick them all.

Before Logan had the chance to really focus, an orderly came toward him and roughly grabbed his face, then proceeded to tape his eyes open. He snarled, then the man backed away and presumably left the room as the bright light that Logan was forced to stare at grew even brighter. He howled loudly, the blinding light giving him a headache.

Watching him from the side of the room, wearing dark sunglasses that prevented the light from hurting his own eyes, Mr. Cross stood. He watched with a wicked glare, a satisfied smirk on his face as Logan writhed in agony from the pain caused by the unnaturally bright lights. "This is what you get for remembering...Weapon-X." Mr. Cross seethed evilly.

*****

It feels like hell when I'm dying inside
Searching to find some peace of mind
To make it seem like everything's not wrong
Just give me the key and let me in your room
I'll try my best not to make a move
So I won't have to hurt you anymore

Cause it's raining where you are
I'm trying but it's too hard
Yeah it's raining where you are
But you can't run away from everything
So just fall back, fall back


*****

Leaning against the wall of his cell, Logan sat on the floor, still strapped in a straightjacket. The metal cuffs on his hands made his knuckles sore, something his healing factor didn't do much for because every time his hands healed, the metal cut into his skin again. He was still seeing bright spots in front of his eyes from the punishment in that room, but none of that seemed to make a difference now. All he found himself doing was thinking about the two people that came to visit him the day before, Rogue and Jean. Two people that knew who he was. Two people that cared for him enough to talk to him, enough to show up.

He remembered cleary that he'd saved Rogue before, and that she was like a daughter to him, someone he wanted to protect. But then there was Jean. He couldn't remember exactly what it was, but he knew he had strong feelings for her. But did he love her?

Logan gently thumped his head against the wall as he clenched his eyes shut. He did love her, but he'd never told her. Something was keeping him from telling her, getting closer to her. It was...another guy. Now the memory was getting clearer. A tall, slim man, who for some reason he couldn't think of, had to always wear special glasses...or some weird visor. This is the guy who was keeping him from going to her, or her going to him.



*****

"Ready to go Rogue?" Jean asked softly, standing in the kitchen where the younger girl was sipping at a cup of coffee that had long since gotten cold.

"Yeh." Rogue nodded, looking up sadly and trying to pull off a smile. "Do you think this'll work Jean?"

Pausing before she answered, Jean let out a long sigh. "I hope so." she wanted Logan back now more than anything, and even though they were apart, she'd felt a certain amount of closeness towards him, a closeness even more so than she'd ever felt with Scott.

Rogue stood up, stuffing gloved hands into the pockets of her jeans. "Well, here goes nothin'." she mumbled to herself, following Jean out of the kitchen so they could head to the airport and catch their plane.



*****

Loud echoeing footsteps caused Logan to come out of his daze and stop staring at the wall, trying to forget his hunger. He only hoped that the orderly making their way toward his cell was bringing food, but his nose told him he was wrong. 'Lousy bastards, what the hell do they want this time?' he thought bitterly, a low grumble escaping his lips.

Logan glanced to his right at the floor just outside the glass wall, staring at the grey pant leg of the orderly's uniform, along with a pair of black shoes that could really use a shine.

"Sorry pal, I didn't come ta bring ya any food." Lenny told him with an almost sincere smile of sympathy, knowing what Logan was hoping for. He stared down at the straightjacket clad mutant sitting on the floor.

With a long sigh, Logan raised his head slowly to glance up at Lenny with a questioning look across his features.

"The good news though," Lenny started, shaking a small plastic cup in one hand, and holding another filled with water in the other, "is that since you weren't really fightin' anyone earlier, the doc's figured I could give ya pills instead of your usual shot o' meds."

Logan just stared at Lenny without a word as he knelt down and opened a slot at the bottom of the door, then pushed the pills and cup of water through. He raised one eyebrow at Lenny, wondering how the dumbass thought he'd be able to take the pills with a straightjacket on.

"Oh...Dammit." the orderly grumbled, realizing what he had done. He sighed loudly, cursing himself as he pulled some keys from his belt and opened the cell room door. Stepping to the side of Logan, Lenny lightly slapped at the back of his head. "Lean forward." he ordered.

Logan did as he was told, trying not to move as the disgruntled orderly undid the closings on his straightjacket.

"You better not try anythin' now, ya hear?" Lenny said sternly, getting a snort from the mutant. "Now take them meds."

Logan stayed low to the floor, reaching for the pills as he tossed his head back and emptied the cup into his mouth, then gulped down the water. He stared at the orderly, who seemed to be watching him in expectation.

Logan returned to his seat on the floor against the wall, then tucked the pills in the corner of his lower lip, opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue so it looked as if he'd swallowed them.

Lenny nodded, falling for the trick. "Alrighty, well I'm off." he smirked, roughing up Logan's hair before walking out of the cell and locking the door, not bothering to strap up his straightjacket again.

With a minimal snarl and turning away from the camera across the hall, Logan pushed his back against the wall to help him stand. He slowly shuffled toward the back of the cell where the sink was, and spit the pills in it, watching as they went down the drain. Jean and Rogue would be back, they promised they would be. When they did come back, Logan didn't want to be drugged up, he wanted to be thinking completely clear and remember every moment with them to possibly gain some of his memory back.



*****