Alright, so maybe Remus was a bit too... openly angry. I got carried away
last chapter. Well, when I try happy after a death, it turns out sappy... and
chances are it is. Dreadfully sorry.
Um... what was I gonna say... oh yes, reviews!
Awkward: Yay for TKAM! Yay for 9th grade English homework! Yay for Scout for being all cute and stuff! Okay, I'm sorry I couldn't make it happy. Charlie was pretty much the highlight, and that was it. I suck at happy endings, this is the best I could do.
Nikki: Unpredictable... hmmm... I suppose that's a good thing. Thanks for sticking with this story, even when it got boring. Don't deny it, you know it was at one point!
Kuutamo: thanks so much! And yes, sometimes one word is more than enough.
Cessate133: Nope. Jamie and Luna are oblivious. Well, except for Jamie... but that's later on, and already written, and oh so very badly written.
This Parrot has ceased to be: I guess the summary did sound a little too ominous. Glad you liked it... to a degree, I'm sure.
GollumGal: For your sake, I mentioned Sirius in this chapter. But only a little.
Miss Piratess: NO! Not the infamous strange furry animal! Well, if I made Remus kill Lucius, it would ruin the story for others, so I'll do it just for you: Remus decided it was about time he set things straight. Lucius eyed him like a hawk, his wand out before him. With little thought, Remus made a strange screeching sound akin to a dying cat, and Lucius stared incredulously. Then he waved his wand, said his incantation, and Lucius fell over dead. Remus jumped in the air triumphantly. "Yay! Go me!"
~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
Judging by the fact that the moon had sunk low enough that he couldn't see the shadows of the trees on the walls, Remus could tell it was far past midnight. It seemed as if it had been only a few minutes since the sun had set, and Remus had opened the first bottle.
He held his hand in front of him. His mind was dizzied by the crimson blurred movement. The empty bottles lay in front of him, one shattered, and a vague question entered his mind once again.
Was the pain gone, yet?
Something from the distance was calling him, a drunken, sorrowful man. It was his own weariness... calling him home. Calling him to sleep. The wind was singing softly, and his hand relaxed on the bottle he was holding.
He hadn't slept in days for the fear of what his dreams may reveal. He didn't want to remember what he'd done. But the harder he struggled against it, the heavier his eyes became. The sky was dark, and he was falling...
His vision went black before his eyes had closed.
After an eternity that passed like nothing at all, and amidst the unfathomable opaqueness the air was around him, Remus found himself waking in his own mind... in someone's soft arms.
"Where am I?"
"Hush," she whispered softly.
In an instant, his heart cried painfully. "Rebecca?"
She didn't answer, but ran a hand through his hair.
"Are you – is this real?"
"No, Remus. You're drunk."
But Remus didn't have the strength to laugh. "It's you, though."
"Yeah."
He mouthed wordlessly, grasping at loose ends as his thoughts raced. Something was right once again. And yet, he knew he'd wake to find nothing.
"I – I – why?" was all that escaped his mouth.
"Don't ask me. It wasn't my choice."
"You knew?"
"That all this would happen? Yes."
"And you never told me?"
"And have you live like this? In misery? In fear?"
"It hasn't changed since I was a child."
"But you were happy, once."
"Never again," he sighed.
"I wouldn't be too sure."
"I trusted everyone too much. I can't do that again." He seemed impervious to her smug humor.
"Remus, the problem with you is you love to be liked. You're too pleased to find anyone who would even tolerate your condition to care who they are. People don't hate you."
He laughed bitterly. "Sure seems like it."
"You're a wonderful man, you know."
"And lonely. You were the last."
"But Jamie? Luna?"
Remus hesitated. "It's better I don't hurt them."
She stopped, and stood. Remus stood as well.
"Well, that was your choice." She looked crestfallen, but Remus was unbendable in his decision.
"Why'd you leave me?" he breathed.
"It wasn't my place to stay. I'd done what I had to."
"And what might that be?"
"I don't know."
"So... you were meant to die... but I just happened to fall madly in love with you along the way?"
Rebecca smiled. "Does it seem coincidence to you?"
"No."
"Luna's no coincidence. She has a part to play yet."
"Then why am I still here?"
"To teach," was her simple reply.
"I tried... it kept me from you."
"Not now. Just wait. You'll be needed more than you know."
"Will I be getting any straight answers from you?"
She grinned. "Maybe."
He shook his head dejectedly. "A good solid no would do."
She looked so patient, so wise, so young... in deep contrast to the sleep- deprived, unshaven, slurring man before her.
"You look awful," Rebecca said frankly.
"Thank you," came the sarcastic reply.
"If you would only care about things... like you used to. Before you know it, people will be looking up to you. Looking for guidance. What will you say to them, then?"
"I don't know."
Rebecca shook her head. "There are people worse off than you. In lower places, lower spirits. Hated, condemned to a life of torture. How will you be of any comfort to them when you're like this?"
"Who?"
"I shouldn't say."
"Who?"
Rebecca averted her eyes. "There're many it could apply to."
"Name one."
She searched the air around her for an answer. "Harry," she said distantly, though, in her heart she meant Sirius Black.
"That won't be for years."
"But you'll be ready, won't you?"
He sighed.
"You'll be calm, composed, even-tempered, wise..."
"I'm not all of that."
"Sure you are. It's been a while."
"All the same. I won't be happy."
"You will. Forget your pain, there're more important things to worry about now."
"I can't forget."
"You shouldn't forget it all. Just Halloween."
Remus closed his eyes. "I don't want to go back."
"Well you are, so don't fight it."
"I love you," he said solemnly.
"There's no use loving me any more," she said sternly. "It's a waste of time. I'm gone. Just love yourself."
"But..."
"Don't love what's gone. Only remember it." Her voice softened. "James is there. Keep him with you."
The sound of birds was filtering into his mind. Faintly, he could see the sunlight.
"And Remus?"
"Yeah?"
"Stop drinking."
He couldn't care less what she said. Her voice eased everything. "Alright."
As soon as he felt the rough, splitting carpet beneath him, he knew she was gone. He woke slowly to the morning light, and for the first time in a long time, the sun felt warm to his skin.
~~~~~~~~~~
A little corny, I know. But hey. I'm only a freshman. Boy, can Remus whine or what?
There. It's done. I'm not happy with it, but I haven't the endurance to rewrite any of it! IT'S OVER! *sigh of relief*. Now, If you want something to laugh at (because it is really old and therefore badly written) you can see what happened to Jamie!! (I apologize if it's Mary-sue-ish in the teensiest way) But it was the beginning to this story, so I couldn't delete it.
Now... anybody wanna read a Tom Riddle fic that I've written pages of notes on but I'm not sure will follow through? It should be posted soon. It will be long, if not longer, but I've got BIG plans for this one. So... if you have way too much time on your hands... it won't be quick updates, but still...
Thanks to all of you! This was fun... and now I'm sad. Oh well.
Um... what was I gonna say... oh yes, reviews!
Awkward: Yay for TKAM! Yay for 9th grade English homework! Yay for Scout for being all cute and stuff! Okay, I'm sorry I couldn't make it happy. Charlie was pretty much the highlight, and that was it. I suck at happy endings, this is the best I could do.
Nikki: Unpredictable... hmmm... I suppose that's a good thing. Thanks for sticking with this story, even when it got boring. Don't deny it, you know it was at one point!
Kuutamo: thanks so much! And yes, sometimes one word is more than enough.
Cessate133: Nope. Jamie and Luna are oblivious. Well, except for Jamie... but that's later on, and already written, and oh so very badly written.
This Parrot has ceased to be: I guess the summary did sound a little too ominous. Glad you liked it... to a degree, I'm sure.
GollumGal: For your sake, I mentioned Sirius in this chapter. But only a little.
Miss Piratess: NO! Not the infamous strange furry animal! Well, if I made Remus kill Lucius, it would ruin the story for others, so I'll do it just for you: Remus decided it was about time he set things straight. Lucius eyed him like a hawk, his wand out before him. With little thought, Remus made a strange screeching sound akin to a dying cat, and Lucius stared incredulously. Then he waved his wand, said his incantation, and Lucius fell over dead. Remus jumped in the air triumphantly. "Yay! Go me!"
~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~
Judging by the fact that the moon had sunk low enough that he couldn't see the shadows of the trees on the walls, Remus could tell it was far past midnight. It seemed as if it had been only a few minutes since the sun had set, and Remus had opened the first bottle.
He held his hand in front of him. His mind was dizzied by the crimson blurred movement. The empty bottles lay in front of him, one shattered, and a vague question entered his mind once again.
Was the pain gone, yet?
Something from the distance was calling him, a drunken, sorrowful man. It was his own weariness... calling him home. Calling him to sleep. The wind was singing softly, and his hand relaxed on the bottle he was holding.
He hadn't slept in days for the fear of what his dreams may reveal. He didn't want to remember what he'd done. But the harder he struggled against it, the heavier his eyes became. The sky was dark, and he was falling...
His vision went black before his eyes had closed.
After an eternity that passed like nothing at all, and amidst the unfathomable opaqueness the air was around him, Remus found himself waking in his own mind... in someone's soft arms.
"Where am I?"
"Hush," she whispered softly.
In an instant, his heart cried painfully. "Rebecca?"
She didn't answer, but ran a hand through his hair.
"Are you – is this real?"
"No, Remus. You're drunk."
But Remus didn't have the strength to laugh. "It's you, though."
"Yeah."
He mouthed wordlessly, grasping at loose ends as his thoughts raced. Something was right once again. And yet, he knew he'd wake to find nothing.
"I – I – why?" was all that escaped his mouth.
"Don't ask me. It wasn't my choice."
"You knew?"
"That all this would happen? Yes."
"And you never told me?"
"And have you live like this? In misery? In fear?"
"It hasn't changed since I was a child."
"But you were happy, once."
"Never again," he sighed.
"I wouldn't be too sure."
"I trusted everyone too much. I can't do that again." He seemed impervious to her smug humor.
"Remus, the problem with you is you love to be liked. You're too pleased to find anyone who would even tolerate your condition to care who they are. People don't hate you."
He laughed bitterly. "Sure seems like it."
"You're a wonderful man, you know."
"And lonely. You were the last."
"But Jamie? Luna?"
Remus hesitated. "It's better I don't hurt them."
She stopped, and stood. Remus stood as well.
"Well, that was your choice." She looked crestfallen, but Remus was unbendable in his decision.
"Why'd you leave me?" he breathed.
"It wasn't my place to stay. I'd done what I had to."
"And what might that be?"
"I don't know."
"So... you were meant to die... but I just happened to fall madly in love with you along the way?"
Rebecca smiled. "Does it seem coincidence to you?"
"No."
"Luna's no coincidence. She has a part to play yet."
"Then why am I still here?"
"To teach," was her simple reply.
"I tried... it kept me from you."
"Not now. Just wait. You'll be needed more than you know."
"Will I be getting any straight answers from you?"
She grinned. "Maybe."
He shook his head dejectedly. "A good solid no would do."
She looked so patient, so wise, so young... in deep contrast to the sleep- deprived, unshaven, slurring man before her.
"You look awful," Rebecca said frankly.
"Thank you," came the sarcastic reply.
"If you would only care about things... like you used to. Before you know it, people will be looking up to you. Looking for guidance. What will you say to them, then?"
"I don't know."
Rebecca shook her head. "There are people worse off than you. In lower places, lower spirits. Hated, condemned to a life of torture. How will you be of any comfort to them when you're like this?"
"Who?"
"I shouldn't say."
"Who?"
Rebecca averted her eyes. "There're many it could apply to."
"Name one."
She searched the air around her for an answer. "Harry," she said distantly, though, in her heart she meant Sirius Black.
"That won't be for years."
"But you'll be ready, won't you?"
He sighed.
"You'll be calm, composed, even-tempered, wise..."
"I'm not all of that."
"Sure you are. It's been a while."
"All the same. I won't be happy."
"You will. Forget your pain, there're more important things to worry about now."
"I can't forget."
"You shouldn't forget it all. Just Halloween."
Remus closed his eyes. "I don't want to go back."
"Well you are, so don't fight it."
"I love you," he said solemnly.
"There's no use loving me any more," she said sternly. "It's a waste of time. I'm gone. Just love yourself."
"But..."
"Don't love what's gone. Only remember it." Her voice softened. "James is there. Keep him with you."
The sound of birds was filtering into his mind. Faintly, he could see the sunlight.
"And Remus?"
"Yeah?"
"Stop drinking."
He couldn't care less what she said. Her voice eased everything. "Alright."
As soon as he felt the rough, splitting carpet beneath him, he knew she was gone. He woke slowly to the morning light, and for the first time in a long time, the sun felt warm to his skin.
~~~~~~~~~~
A little corny, I know. But hey. I'm only a freshman. Boy, can Remus whine or what?
There. It's done. I'm not happy with it, but I haven't the endurance to rewrite any of it! IT'S OVER! *sigh of relief*. Now, If you want something to laugh at (because it is really old and therefore badly written) you can see what happened to Jamie!! (I apologize if it's Mary-sue-ish in the teensiest way) But it was the beginning to this story, so I couldn't delete it.
Now... anybody wanna read a Tom Riddle fic that I've written pages of notes on but I'm not sure will follow through? It should be posted soon. It will be long, if not longer, but I've got BIG plans for this one. So... if you have way too much time on your hands... it won't be quick updates, but still...
Thanks to all of you! This was fun... and now I'm sad. Oh well.
