Note: The lyrics in this chapter are from 'The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot' by Brand New.
2nd Note: The part written completely in italics is a memory/dream/flashback. Oh yeh, and I kinda forgot about poor Kurt...so let's just say he went back to Germany for a time. Good enough? Well...it is for me an' my muse...deal. x_-

Institutionalized: Chapter 8-Cause For Leave

*****

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand.
I hope you find out what you want.
I already know what I am.

And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again.
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am.


*****

Not long after the events at Alkali Lake...

Logan paced in front of the danger room, debating whether or not to go in. He'd already been in there for almost four hours early that morning, but right now he felt about going back into the ring. Hands clenched by his sides, Logan stopped moving to stare at the door, not noticing the the person that came behind him until a hand gently rested on his shoulder. He turned around sharply, glaring at the person who dared to bother him. Staring at the face before him, his features softened a little, but there was a distinctive hurt look in his eyes. "Jean."

She smiled tightly, pulling her hand off his shoulder as he turned completely to face her. "Logan," Jean sighed. "how are you? I mean...you haven't talked to anyone in so long, about what happened...or anything." she said softly.

He sighed, breathing in sharply and backing away from her. Logan could sense the concern in her voice, but why did she care? She loved Scott, she already told him that. He wasn't the 'good guy', she couldn't be with him. "I...I can't." he turned sharply and began walking away.

"Logan don't do this!" Jean had called after him.

"Why do you care? Go be with Him!" he hollered back at her, angrily stomping down the metallic hallways in the lower levels of the mansion.

Right after that, Logan had burst into Professor Xavier's office, practically begging for an assignment that would take him away from the mansion. That's when he received the mission to go to the lake, and he'd taken off as quickly as possible, without saying goodbye to anyone.



*****

Logan woke up panting, his eyes wide and staring around in the darkened cell. He shook his head, running a hand over his face to clear away the sweat. He had to blink several times to shake the feeling of vertigo, but after sitting still for awhile it passed.

Shivering and wrapping his arms around himself, Logan flung his feet over the side of the metal bed onto the cold floor. He remembered now, why he had left the nice mansion with the people he knew. And now that he remembered, he cursed himself for being so hot-headed. Logan was now feeling conflicting emotions between telling Jean that he loved her, and leaving her alone to be with the man she supposedly loved. He just wanted her to be happy.

With a heavy sigh, he stood up slowly and began walking in circles around the cell in an attempt to warm himself up. He was still feeling weakened without having any food in him, but he vaguely remembered Jean telling him that he would be getting out of the hospital tonight, and Logan believed her. He had to believe her, because believing in the woman he loved, even if she didn't love him back, was keeping him sane, keeping him from falling back into that feral, drugged-up state where everything was a blank to him.



*****

I'll grow old and start acting my age.
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate.

A crown of gold.
A heart that's harder than stone.
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone.

Call me a safe bet.
I'm betting I'm not.
I'm glad that you can forgive.
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.


*****

It was getting cold, and a light frost lingered on the grass all around the institution. Rogue shivered in her leather X-Men uniform, though it was insulated and she wasn't shivering from cold. This place just plain gave her the creeps. "Jean, the Professor actually authorized this?" she questioned in a whisper.

Jean walked calmly toward her as quietly as possible. They had parked their car on the street just out of the way of the institution's parking lot, and were now creeping their way toward the hulking building. "Yes Rogue, don't worry." Jean assured her.

"Shouldn't we wait until he gets here?" the girl questioned cautiously. She wanted more than anything to bust Logan out of there, but it being only herself and Jean storming in there like protective mother bears gone berserk, Rogue wasn't so sure how well it would turn out.

Jean shook her head and kept moving, using her telekinesis to short out the security cameras and perimeter sensors around the building.



*****

Logan continued the rhythmic pacing circles in his cell, beginning to wonder whether Jean and Rogue were really breaking him out like they'd said. He took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself and keep thinking that he was going to be free.

Sensitive ears twitched suddenly at a distant sound, and Logan stopped immediately and moved to the front of his cell, pressing his metal-cuffed hands up against the bullet-proof glass. He raised an eyebrow curiously and tilted his head up against the glass so he could see down the hallway where the cell block door was.

Suddenly an earth shattering boom shook the hall as the door at the end burst open, allowing a sandstorm of flame to rage through.

Logan fell back from the force of the blast, then scrambled to his feet and rushed back to the glass. He peered down the hall with his head pressed against the lucid wall, squinting from the heat and smoke that got into the ventilation holes and burned his eyes. For a moment Logan thought it was Jean and Rogue that had broken in, but his hopes faltered when a somewhat familiar looking blue uniform clad patient stepped into the cell block over the broken door. He sighed, letting his head thump against the glass, disheartened.

"Weeeeeee're havin' a hot one today folks!!" the insane mutant flame-wielder jeered as he strolled down the corridor. A terribly mad grin was splayed across his pale face as he began to skip from one cell door to the other, peering inside.

Logan watched with a raised eyebrow, wondering what the hell this nutso thought he was doing. There was currently no one else in his cell block beside himself, since this fiery mutant normally was kept there and he was obviously out, and one other mutant had been taken away for medical treatments. Logan had never bothered to pay too much attention to the other patients in the building, but he had always throught there was something especially not right about this one.

"Burn baby burn, disco inferno!!!" the patient sang loudly and terribly off-key. He grinned wildly, approaching Logan's cell and running a hand through his short dark brown hair. "Heya, heya maaaan." he waved at Logan, flames flicking off the tips of his fingers. "The name's Jethro, an' flames and explosions are my specialty!!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Staring back at the guy, Logan pressed his hand up against the glass and gave a sideways glance to the lock on the door, as if asking the guy to break him free. Maybe Jean and Rogue were having trouble getting in, and if so, he'd have to make his way to them.

Jethro stared at the locked door with a grin. "Want out? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?" he sang annoyingly, eyes sparking with wild fire and the purest insanity.

Logan just grunted, then sharply glanced back at where the cell block door was and growled. "Guards." he muttered, getting the insane firefly to look.

Jethro began jumping up and down almost giddily. "Let's fry us up some guardy boys!" his eyes widened as he stared at the guards who came running in through the firey hole. "Bye bye!!!" with a flick of his hand and a twitch of his eye, the entire wall near the door exploded, sending bits of concrete everywhere.

Logan felt the floor shake and was thrown back again. He quickly got up with some effort, adrenaline giving him energy that his system lacked. He stared thoughtfully at the fire caused by the mutant, tilting his head to the side. It reminded him of something, a mutant he knew?

"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" Jethro cheered as he began doing a 'hokey-pokey' sort of dance, spinning in a circle.

Before Logan could put any more thought into the memory, he watched Jethro touch the door hinges and they melted like chocolate under a flame, causing the door to fall flat into the cell. Logan grunted as he stepped out of the cell, pulling off his unbuckled straightjacket that was unnessesary with the new found heat in the cell block. He tossed it to the floor, running down the opposite side of the hall which stopped in a dead end, dragging Jethro with him.

"Hey, hey, where you takin' me mountain man? The door's that-a-way." the firey mutant protested, pointing to where the explosion engulfed half the corridor. "I won't get burnt to a crisp!" he grinned proudly, as if that was the other mutant's worry.

"But I will." Logan grunted, still pulling the reluctant crazy man behind him. "Now blow the wall so we c'n get outta here."

"Ooook!!" Jethro grinned, his eyes getting wild and firey as he cracked his knuckles. "Big, big explosion time!!"

Logan noticed the strange look in the other man's eyes, realizing that what he'd just asked Jethro to do was a big mistake. He was going to make a big explosion alright, too big. "No wait!!" Logan started, but it was too late.



*****

Note: Cliffhanger!!! MWAHAHAHA. x_0 *laughs evilly and runs off with muse*